desperately sad..nursery sent home Eyfs specialist guidance and assessment inclusion officer report. why.? what does this mean?

[samzaffar123]

Please help. I have one 3 year old boy recently starting day nursery eg 4 months ago. He's just had a specialist guidance assessment from the county councils assessor. Why.? Is this normal for all children.?the report states he doesn't use words doesn't communicate and just relies on waiting for adults to help him. He's the exact opposite at home and am very upset to read the report, and to learn he was undergoing an assessment without my knowledge? Please advise. Is this normal due to recent government changes or is there something wrong with my baby that I don't know about?

What you might like to try is writing a list of words that he uses at home (in sentences that he's put together from scratch not in memorised chunks or songs). Stop when you've got to two hundred (maybe? That's a guess). That has the advantage of being a nice objective fact, over and above the general "he's such a chatterbox" statements that you can use (with other stuff) to pin down whether he's actually got any language needs or whether his quietness at nursery is severe enough to be selective mutism. Then you'll know if anything needs to be done, probably at a new nursery.

Caveat, I'm not a specialist in toddler development so any of the people on the thread who are may want to correct me.

Well if he can verbalize what he has done at nursery. Doesn't sound like he has the sort of language delay in the report, but still worth.looking into why he doesn't speak at nursery. Please don't worry about unnecessary labelling, ime school couldn't be less interested that my ds had language delay and salt early on, if there is no continuing issue

Thanks guys. I will write a diary about words he uses and sentences he says. That's a good idea. Will video him too as proof. I was hoping someone would say yes it's normal for everyone now to have this assessment and there's nothing wrong but I now only realise that am being deluded.

Definitely two separate issues.

If he has special needs or any delay, it's very good to pick this up early. However, your description of his behaviour at home doesn't tally with this and you aren't worried - well, you weren't!! - so this I think can safely be seen as a secondary issue right now. Certainly, in the longer term if you want to check out all avenues there would be nothing wrong with videoing him, making a diary, and checking things out YOURSELF with your GP/possible referral etc. So put aside that worry for now - even if there is an issue, it is nothing you should be worrying about right now.

What I would be very angry and worried about, however, is the nursery. SO much wrong here! Firstly, what on earth are they doing, getting to the point of an assessment without you having the faintest idea that they even have concerns? Forget the fact that no, they shouldn't be assessing him at all without permission, and yes I would report them for that. Is their own communication and practice so poor that if they think there's an issue, they don't SPEAK to the parents, they don't start from the point of trying to ascertain what the behaviour is like outside nursery and try and get a more holistic picture of overall personality, they just assess? And then they don't even COMMUNICATE to you that they've done that, don't ask for cooperation, don't discuss with you, simply stick a note in a bag?

Their whole approach would cause me huge concern - and ironically, would leave me thinking that for both a perfectly NT child and ESEPCIALLY one with additional needs, this nursery would be the last place I'd want them. Poor communication, poor practice, total lack of awareness. I'd withdraw him and make a complaint to OFSTED about the whole situation - and find a much better setting!

Sylvanians at ease...thank you. I haven't eaten all weekend with worry. His dad has just taken him to a play centre and said he played with other kids like they do. I have gone into meltdown mode this weekend but all your support and advice is really helping. I will arrange a meeting tomorrow with the nursery manager . Their communication has been very poor but as you say I didn't even think there was any problem let alone special needs. I desperately hope they have a good answer tomorrow otherwise I will be a bag of nerves and just get upset.

I have a friend who had her DS in one nursery, which wanted an assessment for speech, at just under 2yrs. She did not see any issues and moved him. The new nursery saw no issues. He has now been at school for a few years and, as far as I know, no issues regarding speech have been raised. They do sometimes get things wrong.

OP - a few things jump out at me from your further posts:

• if DS does need some additional support, this isn't the end of the world. And some proper intervention now may well prevent needing further support when he is older

• your DS being seen as a polite child by strangers probably does translate as quiet and not very talkative...

• playing with other children is not the same as speaking to them. Children are really good at communicating with each other, and can understand very limited speech. Remember too that you will be able to understand him better than anyone and might not notice a speech impediment or how bad it is

I'm not saying this to worry you, I can see how concerned you are already. And of course nursery may be talking out of their backsides and could have this all wrong.

But don't go in all guns blazing and insist everything is fine because he can sing the theme tune to Fireman Sam. Absolutely pull them up on doing an assessment without your input, but don't discount their concerns without really listening to them first

Just as a point of note - the way you are using the term 'special needs' as a description of a child is really offensive. A lot of kids do have some special needs at some point in their education - usually these are just met within the setting, and are not enough to categories them as 'Special Needs' in the manner that you are using the words (as if it was the worst possible thing in the world ever and somehow marginalized the child in some way).

All kids are different. Some need some sort of extra help at school or nursery. They are all perfectly normal kids, in a perfectly normal place.

Even if your child does need some additional help in nursery (whether because he is extremely shy in this setting, or selectively mute) it really doesn't warrant the level of fear and horror you are displaying, nor does it label him 'Special Needs' with the tone of voice you are using.

Be pleased that nursery have nursery have flagged that there is a problem (there is a problem - possibly just in this setting- the area Inc O doesn't get called in to assessments otherwise) and that they are being proactive - this is really very good. Excellent in fact. And highly unusual.

Your concern should be that the nursery SENCo did not discuss her concerns and plans with you in advance of the Area IncO visit, that is all.

Less hysteria about Special Needs on your part, and more communication between you and nursery, and all will be well. I am wondering though, if you have misunderstood the nursery staff on some occasion - you say you have discussed his behaviours at home with them - I am wondering if at some point they have been discussing his lack of interaction at nursery, and their concerns, and you have not realised that it was a more formal conversation? Perhaps at some point the nursery manager or keyworker (also filling the SENCo role) has mentioned a visiting person? It may also have been that the Area IncO was there to observe a different child, and it was a more general discussion that led to your child also being observed. In which case, a bit naughty, and they should have let you know straight away, but it may have been entirely opportunistic. An example of their great attitude towards getting support in place where it is needed, though, even if a bad example of their parent communication.

You'll be pleased to know that my 'Special Needs' kid is entirely normal, has been observed many times by the Area IncO, and has entirely survived.

Just talk to the nursery and ask for clarification. There is really no need to have spent the weekend in purgatory. Even if he does need some additional support at school, he is exactly the same kid that tootled in to nursery on Friday morning. He hasn't developed two heads just because someone did an observation report.

Worth checking the report is actually on your child, not another child with same name.

I was volunteering at a preschool when the local assessor for something or other came in , staff thought they were there to assess child A , who was male and of A ethnic background. After about half an hour it became apparent that the assessor wasn't seeing what they expected. Turned out they were at the wrong preschool and were expecting to see child B , also male of A ethnicity. Names were sperfically similar. Like lewis and Louis...

Was about to post when I read madwomans post.

What she/he said really!

My DS was a right chatter box at 3 - still is at 10. His actual language is terrible though. (Not swearing but use of!)

Nursery should have discussed it with you first. But try and look at this as them trying to support DS.

If he has some SN then early intervention is the key.

Madwoman back in the attic and Mrs devere. ..please note am only hysterical because the assessment form is titled special needs assessment hence my frantic behaviour.madrigals I understand what you say. .that's very handy information. my worry is so great because of me not understanding what's gone on and what's going on now. Does special needs mean he will be like this for years. I understand now since getting all this helpful advice that that's not necessarily the case.

"Special needs" is not something to panic about, no one wants their child to have additional needs, but it's not a case of labelling your child and then writing them off. If it turns out he does need additional support then that might be for a short time, for the medium term or for the long term. Eg some children may need a short term amount of speech and language therapy and then have no more input.

The assessment letter is not saying your DS has any special needs, but that further monitoring and assessment needs to be done. It also gives the nursery workers strategies to help him in the meantime.

Noted guys. I understand what you say. ..especially the fact about he's not been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Reality hit home. Thank you all so much. I hope to speak to the nursery first thing tomorrow. Will keep you all posted. I think it's time for dinner now.

Excellent, excellent post by Madwoman and also by Mrsdevere

Have the nursery ever mentioned to you that he is non-verbal there? If not then it sounds like they have sent home another child's report.

However, if it definitely is your DS I think you are right to be furious about the way they have gone about it. Not informing you or getting your input at all makes the assessment meaningless.

Tell the nursery that if they want to go about it properly, then you are keen to support your DS in being assessed.

Desperatelyseeking sanity. ..your post really made me smile and restored some massively lost confidence. I was naively thinking this would affect him forever. Keturahlee no the nursery have never ever mentioned anything about his non talking Hence my confusion and paranoia.

Glad your feeling calmer Sam . In the interests of your further sanity (you have 13 years of school to get through yet ) try not to get yourself in such a state. As your child goes through school they'll have their own personal peaks and troughs in development and academic achievement. if you're told your child is struggling with X, ask how you can work with school to provide support and help DS develop the skills.
My DS does have SN, we spend 30 minutes every evening after dinner doing something to help develop his literacy, communication etc skills that's he behind in - but also do maths sometimes and he's 2 years ahead in that!

I fully understand why the letter shocked you - it was a bolt out of the blue and communication by the nursery was handled badly.

And if this letter turns out to be for another child of the same name is consider billing the nursery for a spa day to recover

You are kidding me. .. it's lovely to read your child is doing well. That's very reassuring. You are right. Of course he'll have his own massive peaks and equally massive troughs with his development. I longed for my baby and after many deaths. Stillborns and miscarriages he came along 15 years later. My apprehension with him is massive and I would never want him to think I had failed him by not understanding things. Albeit I did become wrongly hysterical.

I met with the nursery. I was so nervous I had to take the day off work. I didn't get the chance to meet until end of the working day Due to their commitments. In a nutshell they are concerned. Somethings not right he's not at the level he should be. I apparently signed a blanket letter when we enrolled to say assessments could be carried out whenever. I raised with the nursery that surelythey would still report updates about any assessments or notice or feedback generally along with feedback for assessments. My baby has had three assessments in nearly four months sadly without me knowing. I was so numb with shock I think and the Attitude that they haven't done anything wrong and that I should have known assessments would be carried out. He's mute at nursery. I queried why they had never fed this back to me my question was brushed off.they have told me to report in a book what he does at home which I am going to start on tonight. Still sad Really.