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Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

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Original poster

Was your child fully toilet trained at just turned3yrs?-starting nursery

39 replies

FelixCited · 15/04/2012 19:36

Hi, my child is 3 next month and starts nursery school next week.
They state the child must be fully able to go to the loo unaided,
clothes down, wipe, wash hands etc. No assistance will be given.

So I will be doing another crash course on wiping and pulling up pants.

(we are overseas- this is an independent school which makes its own rules)

So my question is, could your just turned 3yr old manage to go to the loo completely unaided?

Is my child a late starter ?

OP posts:

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StickingLaboutin · 15/04/2012 19:40

DD was able to do this at 2.5, there was occasionally smears and streaks in pants at the end of the day but mostly she was fine. Moist toilet paper helps.

Memoo · 15/04/2012 19:44

Dd1 and ds could and dd2 hasn't started yet but is fully toilet trained at 2.7

I don't think your child a later starter. Not being toilet trained at 3 is very common and normal. Every child is different.

Katiebeau · 15/04/2012 19:45

No this is tripe. HVs in the UK must be tired of hysterical Mums (like me) bricking it as the 3yr deadline approaches.

Apparently 40% fully trained by 3, 90% by 4. Bum wiping independently by 3??? Well DD tries (trained 2. days after her 3rd birthday) but come on, not always a perfect job

Shame it's not the UK, preschools are being told to sod off with these rules, it excludes too many kids.

He's not a late starter by the way if he's almost there.

IAmBooyhoo · 15/04/2012 19:46

ds1 yes. he started at 3 and 6 weeks. he could do all this

ds2 no. he is toilet trained but can't be left unsupervised in the bathroom or he will put all the toilet roll down the loo, put the plugs in the sink and run the taps. he will be 3 in 6 weeks and starts nursery on tuesday.

IAmBooyhoo · 15/04/2012 19:48

ds2 also can't wipe his bum.

mercibucket · 15/04/2012 19:48

Yes all mine could. Bum wiping was not great though. Think they all could at school nursery and not sure if they had to be able to before nursery would take them

landofsoapandglory · 15/04/2012 19:48

Both my 2 were by the time they were 3, but your child is not a late starter. I have worked in a pre school and it is very, very common that children can not do it.

littleducks · 15/04/2012 19:51

Yes, mine were both fully trained to go independently by 2.5. I have trained alot of kids, definitely find it easier with a two than a three year old.

I think we toilet train later as disposable nappies are so convenient. I wouldn't have thought your child would be classed as 'late' though.

yakbutter · 15/04/2012 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouChangeWithTheWeather · 15/04/2012 19:56

DS2 only started using the toilet at all 3 weeks before nursery started. Sometimes he had skidders but usually would run straight to the toilet when we got home. 18 months on it wouldn't occur to him to wipe his bum, he can't reach - if he poohs at school then it doesn't get wiped. His older siblings always need a huge poo 10 minutes after school finishes - I have with-holders!

BrettDomino · 15/04/2012 19:57

Mine both were by about 2.5 (incidentally younger than I was) although DD wasn't great at wiping after a poo. Don't think she did many at pre school though.

Rubirosa · 15/04/2012 20:01

I work with 2-3 year olds and would say a large majority can go to the toilet independently by their 3rd birthday (if parents put them in sensible clothes - skinny jeans with a buckled belt is not sensible for a toilet training 2 year old!).

Not perfectly, not with no accidents, no dribbling on clothes, expert bum wiping - but still out of nappies and able to go to the toilet, pull clothes up and down, wipe and wash hands without assitance most of the time.

ThisIsMummyPig · 15/04/2012 20:08

Mine wouldn't have accidents at that age, but she is 4 and still can't wipe her bum effectively. She will try if she's out, but sometimes comes home with poo not only on her knickers, but also on her tights.

Bunsouttheoven · 15/04/2012 20:08

No my dd was prob 4 before she could bum wipe well & ds was 3 last month, still in nappies.

thegreylady · 15/04/2012 20:37

dgs aged 3.2 is at nursery school and cant wipe himself yet or climb on to toilet unaided but has been clean and dry for a year.His school provides the necessary assistance.

MerryMarigold · 15/04/2012 20:42

My dd (now 3.5) is not fully trained. She tends to wet herself nearly every day in Nursery. There is no way she could wipe her bum, it's a lot for her just to remember to go! Nursery are very tolerant. Ds2, her twin, has been trained for a year, fully, night and day, and can wipe his bum. Different strokes. It's not fair to expect this of every child. They probably mean not to be in nappies...

ReallyTired · 15/04/2012 20:49

DD is three year old tomorrow. She can wipe her bum and is pretty much accident free now. She is exceptionally tiny and would struggle to get on an off the toilet on her own. She has problems with the small toilets designed for two year olds. She would be fine if she is allowed a ladder.

BackforGood · 15/04/2012 20:52

Yes, as were all dcs by that age (medical needs excepting) when mine were little - generally you could start playgroup at 2 and 1/2 if you were out of nappies.
Of course the bum wiping might not be perfect, but it's pretty normal to be toilet trained at 3.

BerthaTheBogBurglar · 15/04/2012 20:53

dd - 2.2yo

ds1 - 3.4yo although lots wet trousers and didn't manage bumwiping till he was 6 (I asked what he did at school and he said "I don't poo at school")

ds2 - 3.1yo, gazillions of accidents for ages

TheAvocadoOfWisdom · 15/04/2012 20:55

My second is 4.7 and although he can go by himself, it makes him anxious if he has to use a loo outside the home and he's not 100% reliable outside the house. We're working on it.

oscarthegrouch · 15/04/2012 20:55

i work in a pre-school in uk and we arent allowed (not that we'd choose to) discriminate against children who arent potty trained. We have a few children who are still in nappies/pull ups and we change them. We also have a lot of 3 year olds who consistently have accident and its much more pleasant changing a nappy than scraping poop out of pants every day!!

you're child will do it when they are ready, they are all different, seems a pretty silly rule to me :)

Original poster

FelixCited · 15/04/2012 23:06

Thanks everyone

OP posts:

startail · 15/04/2012 23:27

My two were at 2 and 9 months because they had to be to start nursery (before the non-discrimination rules came in).

DD1 absolutely by the skin of her pants, so to speak, because we'd been in the States. I'd had to put her in pull ups, because I didn't dare have her soak someone else's car seat.

BeaMinor · 15/04/2012 23:34

DD showed absolutely no signs of being potty trained - no interest in it, nothing - until about 3-4 weeks before she turned 3. She then said she didn't want to wear nappies and that was it. She was fully potty trained. Dry at night (if she needs a wee she wakes up and asks) and has had about 3 accidents during the day (as she initially refused to go anywhere other than at home).
As for bum wiping and hand washing? She would block the toilet with paper (or steal it to wrap all the toy babies in) and spend 3 hours using all the soap to wash her hands while flooding the bathroom.

Hopefullyrecovering · 15/04/2012 23:37

DD fully toilet trained at 2. DS fully toilet trained at 3 (although to be fair there were some accidents after that point, particularly on car journeys)

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