Sorry long. Preschool wanted to assess my ds

[MamaMaiasaura]

My ds is 3 years 9 months. He started preschool for the second half of last term. Only 2 session's at 1.5hrs. His first experience of being away fron home. He did less than 10 sessions. He was reluctant to do circle time and didn't want to sit with everyone. He also ran towards their garden when going to
Loo. The preschool called me over summer hol and said at the end of term party he didn't want to join in and that they would like to assess him. This is after they've hardly had him. He's very bright, knows and recognises alphabet, both upper and lower case. Counts to 100. Does simple addition. Knows and spells phonics and also blends phonics, reads cvc etc. He's Doesnt hit/bite etc but can be shy. He doesn't want to sit doing song time or painting but will sit doing puzzle magazines (like pepper workbooks for an hour by his choice). All children are in together (mixed ages and abilities) and whilst lovely setting they don't have free outside access unless taken there. Ds loves being outside.

The new lead practioner doesn't tell me positives but that ds likes to run around. He likes playing chase games. When I collected him I watched him, he was sat with all the kids, right in middle drinking milk and eating snack. He sat for longer than most and went to join others queuing to go back in, so was showing he was doing same as others.

I had long chat with the woman who was really hostile and said if I'm not happy I should take him elsewhere. He seems happy and baby due in 5 weeks so don't want to disrupt him. The older practioner who is retiring joined us and the other woman compeletly changed her attitude.

They asked if he still co-slept and breastfed. He does still sleep in our bed and that is our choice. Re breastfeeding he's still having minuscule amount at bed time and not every night so very close to being fully weaned. He separates from me fine for preschool and hours increased to 3 x a week and 2 hours. Going up to 3 but he's poorly so off till better.

Sorry so long, just feeling a bit crap.

My view is that he's very bright and the preschool havent offered any suggestions on meeting his needs but more on how he can meet theirs :(

Inclusion officer assessing on Monday. I looked at 2 other settings. 1st one was just dire and 2nd montessori only have younger children at present and the children will not be going to same infant school.

Waiting on copy of report but had word with inclusion officer when I collected ds. She's recommended referral to SALT and that preschool do activities with him and 2-3 other children as she said from her observations he plays alongside other children but not with. She said he seemed happy which is most important to me.

Bump

Watching this thread with interest.

Awwww, I think they're not letting your little boy be himself and that's not fair. I hope things work out for you. Are there really no better settings for him? We were very lucky with the school nursery. Pre-school previously did flag up a concern for playing alongside rather than with when he was 3.4, but I ignored it as DS played with friends at home brilliantly. By the way it doesn't matter if they don't go to the same infant school, there's always new kids in reception and they fit in fine- everyone starts again really in reception.

Thanks

Had assessment, upshot is IEP, to encourage him to play with other children, envourage him to try different thing and engage in conversation on a topic not of his choosing and referral for speech and language therapy. He's sitting fine, spends 15 min on activity and appears happy and settled.

Sounds positive, especially the happy and settled bit. Hooray for that!

Indeed that's all I want, ds happy.

Ok I know this is an old thread but it is my old thread (name changed) I was searching my old messages from when I was pregnant with my dd and found this thread re ds2. How things have changed. The upshot was that ds2 saw SALT who referred him to paed and in the may (over a year ago) we had the appointment and she dx him then and there with high functioning autism. Took a while to get our head round and understand its not a label but a signpost. But because he's been diagnosed he's getting good support in school and still part time (year 1) and is home schooled as well
He's still the same amazing little boy and will soon have another sibling :)

I felt it important to update as reading back I can see how much my head was rammed in the sand xx

Really kind of you to come back and update. I quite often wonder what happens when I read threads like this

Are you going to speak to the Nursery practitioner who was right in the first instance, to let her know ? (Maybe if your little one starts there?) It's a very difficult thing to do to try to talk to parents about concerns about a child, when the parents aren't in agreement with what you are saying - it would be nice for her to know.

He got diagnosed in theatre so was still there, they were fairly awful tbh and actually were worse in how they were with him then before, for example at play that they put on, lots of physical restraint, over knee so all his weight on his crotch and feet not touching floor and banging instrument in his face area. When I tried to explain why this was distressing the comeback was 'well
You should of had him diagnosed sooner'. The practitioner was also suprised at dx so no idea what she thought issue was.

The other day I had I turn car around in the carpark by preschool and ds2 had huge panic about preschool and bad dreams coming back :(

But his infant school have been fab and not only did they make transition an easier one they also are there with advice and support.

In the May not theatre lol

Was wondering why they were doing a diagnosis in the theatre