the one reason yuo are missing out is that everyone here who has suggested you go with it, put in for the assessment while monitoring and waiting - we have all pointed out to you that the reasons you gave that your son couldn't be autistic are meaningless.
as I said earlier they all, bar one, apply to my own severely autistic child.
there are a lot of myths and misconceptions about ASD. you appear to think that there has to be osme major developmental delay apparent for ASD to be a concern. Not the case, I am afraid.
my dd2, who is developmentally (physically as well as emotionally and academically) is very probably somewhere onthe spectrum.
all we have tried ot do is correct these misconceptions, and suggest you seek advice form the experts.
and the experts are not the people who love oyur ds most. they are the professionals who are qualified to deal with this.
you have shown how you have misunderstood the criteria for ASD - what's to say that othe rest of your family are not judging by the same wonky set of criteria?
Of course, none of this is to say that your ds DOES have ASD either. again only the professionals cn tell.
but I will tell you that schools do not mention these htings lightly (speaking both form a teaching perspective and form a parents' perspective)
and what makes the nursery worker qualified? er, the fact that she is experienced in a vast range of children, not just your ds, and she has noted that occasionally there are a couple of things which are a little worrying.
as saintlyjimjams said earlier - the biggest indicator that osmehtign is not right is a child who doesn't just "get" what he is supposed to do. nurseries have seen all kinds of naughty children, shy children, extroverts, introverts, high fliers and late developers. they have seen children blossom form a faultering start, and they ahve seen children sadly fail form a promising start. and they have seen fit to raise some concerns.