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Premature birth

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Handhold please - 28+6.

138 replies

NewYearsEveWedding · 10/09/2020 09:10

Previous history - DD born at 32 weeks in 2015 due to waters breaking. No cause found. Now healthy 5 year old.

Currently 28+6 with DS. Yesterday I went in to be monitored as baby had a quiet day. The monitor picked up tightenings in my stomach. Cervical length was measured again, and has dropped to 2cm, from 3.5cm 3 weeks ago. Suddenly told that this could be the start of things again. I'm sure these "tightenings" have been felt a couple of weeks ago even. I thought it was baby moving high up.

I live in the Channel Islands, so have been told to prepare for medical plane transfer to Southampton hospital. DH will have to stay here until we know what's going, looking after DD. The prospect of giving birth alone, and leaving my home, it's horrible.

I've just dropped DD at school and now need to start packing an emergency suitcase. I can't think straight, I'm so frightened.

OP posts:
VictoriaBun · 10/09/2020 09:14

I'm sorry you are going through this. Handhold from me. If possible try to see it as they are giving you the best possible care by the possibility of having to go to Southampton . Once you have packed , sit down for awhile and try to relax and do a few deep breaths. Take care NewYears EveWedding FlowersFlowersBrewCake

newmumma43 · 10/09/2020 09:21

Handholding ❤️

NewYearsEveWedding · 10/09/2020 09:57

Thank you.
I’m just trying to get clothes washed and dried, ready to pack. Back at the hospital later for another monitor and cervical length check.

Has anyone else had regular tightenings but not given birth for a while?

OP posts:
NewYearsEveWedding · 10/09/2020 10:17

Hi Mumsnet - can you move this thread to premature birth please? Thanks

OP posts:
DawnMumsnet · 10/09/2020 11:18

We've moved your thread over, as requested, NewYearsEveWedding.

Sending all good wishes your way. Flowers

NewYearsEveWedding · 11/09/2020 05:19

I’m being transferred this morning.

I will be giving birth alone as my husband isn’t allowed to travel with me. I’m so frightened.

OP posts:
NewYearsEveWedding · 11/09/2020 05:22

I’m worried for my husband. Bonding with a baby in a neonatal unit is hard, but he’ll miss the birth and not feel a part of any if it. Any advice on how I can help him?

OP posts:
newmumma43 · 11/09/2020 22:24

Remind him this is only temporary and the main thing is you bring this baby safe in to the world. It won't even matter when baby is a little toddler running into their daddy's arms!!

Brianna83 · 11/09/2020 22:29

Oh OP I'm so sorry you are going through this. Daddy will bond with baby when you are all safe and back at home - it might be different to how you expected but it will happen. All you need to focus on now is you and that precious little bundle.

How are you doing this evening? Are you in Southampton? How is little one?

So much love xx

NewYearsEveWedding · 12/09/2020 07:09

Thank you everyone.
I was flown over and I’m in Portsmouth, as Southampton had unexpected admissions.
I feel safer now I’m near a neonatal unit set up for

OP posts:
VictoriaBun · 12/09/2020 07:17

It's good you made it over without any further trouble. I hope your tightenings calm down and everything settles down. Good luck.

Sexnotgender · 12/09/2020 07:20

How scary for you. You’re in the right place though and hopefully baby stays safely in for a bit longer.

Vebrithien · 12/09/2020 07:29

Hand holding here too. As terrifying as it is, this too shall pass. You, baby and DH will have, God Willing, a lifetime to bond.

In April, my waters went, with a big bleed at 26 weeks. Baby was meant to be a rainbow baby, after multiple losses. In the heights of lockdown, in the middle of the night, I was blue lighted to hospital, with DH left at home with DD.

Steroid injections, magnesium sulphate drip and antibiotics later, and the tightenings/contract stopped. I then had 5 hospital admissions over the next 7 weeks, with increasing bad bleeds. Each time, DH was at home with DD, and neither were allowed to visit me in hospital. Each time, I was having contractions.

Finally, at 34w, with another big bleed, and a further, larger one seen in scan, lurking behind the placenta, my consultant said that enough was enough. The risk of catastrophic placental failure was too high. I was induced that evening, and DS arrived the next morning, at 34w 1d. DH managed to arrive in the room with about 3 mins to spare, DS crowned with just one push.

DS was crying well at birth, and was transferred to NICU with DH, whilst I had to get to theatre to remove the wretched placenta.

DS spent 15 days on NICU, came home exclusively breast fed, and is 3 months today, weighing 12lb and grinning like a loony!

It's hard, but keep strong. Every day baby is still inside is a bonus. Good luck!

Brianna83 · 12/09/2020 07:32

That's great news New Years Eve - you're in the right place and your post sounds like you are feeling a bit brighter.

One more day inside - just take it one day at a time!

Have you got things to entertain you during the day? Tell us about what you're planning to do to keep sane (I was induced and waited three days for anything to happen so had lots of things with me!) xx

peakotter · 12/09/2020 10:46

So sorry that your dh can’t travel. My third was delivered without dh as he was travelling. But I had an emergency section under general so didn’t have time to think about it, which made it easier (for me, not him).

It will be hard on your husband but I do think men take it a bit better because they don’t have the hormonal changes. And baby won’t notice who is doing skin-to-skin at this age. It will be hardest on you, so please be gentle with yourself. Your hormones will be everywhere too. Do you have reliable phone and WiFi at the hospital?

Is there any chance of dh being able to travel for the birth? Do you have plans in place? You are not very likely to have problems with a hospital birth at 29 weeks but it is good to be prepared.

We had to be transferred to a hospital out of area after birth. Because baby was so early and we had other kids and his job, my dh didn’t get to bond much at first. He focussed on supporting me and the older ones and i focussed on the baby. They have all bonded just fine. You will get through this.

NewYearsEveWedding · 12/09/2020 12:42

Thanks everyone.

DH suffered postnatal depression after our daughter was born prematurely in 2015. He is much better now, but it was such a difficult time. Whilst I have worked through my postnatal depression, I can talk about our experience, he can’t. He looked so frightened when I was put into the ambulance yesterday to go to the airport.

I have clothes with me, the odd toiletry, but no books or anything else much. I have my iPad and phone and charger. Hopefully I’ll find out more soon, whether I can get parcels delivered. Or how I might wash clothes.

DH is unable to travel here for now. Hardly any flights due to covid, and children aren’t allowed in the hospital. We aren’t happy to leave our daughter in Guernsey, so we are stuck really. No idea on how accommodation will work either.

OP posts:
leafeater · 12/09/2020 13:11

So pleased you are in the right place. Like pp, one day at a time gets you closer and closer.

I had a 31 weeker, who is now 22 😀

I'm close to Portsmouth, if there is anything I can do, I'd be more than happy to drop stuff off or come in for a chat, though I doubt that's allowed...

peakotter · 12/09/2020 19:27

Sorry to hear about the postnatal depression, especially that your dh still finds it hard to talk. Maybe find out if the hospital has a counsellor who can chat to you on the phone, or phone Bliss for advice?

Many hospitals have rooms for families. There were lots of people from hundreds of miles away at my first neonatal unit and the parents could stay on site. You will hopefully be offered a room if you are discharged before baby and your husband could hopefully stay there too. Ask the nurses what they have available. Do you have family who could stay in a travel lodge locally with dd? I know you don’t want to leave her but kids are remarkably resilient.

It sounds really tough but hang on in there. You’re doing fine and you’re in the best place for your baby.

NewYearsEveWedding · 13/09/2020 07:09

@leafeater Thank you for your kind offer, mumsnet really does show how lovely and supportive strangers can be. My sister is allowed to visit today, from 4 hours away. She’s bringing me lots of things. I haven’t been able to see her for 7 months due to isolation rules in Guernsey, so I can’t wait to see her.

I’m doing okay, baby is inside still for now. Now 29+2. Cervical length is being measured today, fingers crossed that it hasn’t shortened further. Tightenings haven’t been obvious, but the medication is only able to stop them in the short term. I feel so on edge that labour could start any time, it’s hard to deal with that unknown.

OP posts:
NewYearsEveWedding · 13/09/2020 07:13

Thank you everyone else. I might see if I can talk to a neonatal nurse, to find out what I can expect to happen. It would be nice to look through the window of the neonatal unit, so it’ll be more familiar when the time comes. Yesterday I just broke down at the thought of it all, but feeling a bit braver today hopefully.

OP posts:
leafeater · 13/09/2020 07:18

Glad that baby is staying put. If it's any comfort, I went in at 28 weeks, 2 cms dilated, place all booked in neo natal..... one contraction then nothing! I had the steroids to develop the baby's lungs, was released about 5 days later and then went back in and out until she arrived at 31 weeks.

Obviously, they probably won't send you home as it involves a flight, but even a day makes a difference here.

My offer still stands. I'm not sure if my account here has PM as I've name changed, but please shout if I can do anything. I'm so glad your sister can visit.

rainbowstardrops · 13/09/2020 08:54

Oh how scary for you all. I hope baby stays put and all will be well Thanks

NewYearsEveWedding · 13/09/2020 20:34

Cervical length hadn’t shortened, it may have even increased a little. So for now, that’s good news. Hopefully we make it till tomorrow.
Thank you everyone for your kind words.

OP posts:
clareykb · 13/09/2020 20:38

Handhold from me I was admitted to hospital in the city, not our local one many times on and off with our rainbow twins. (Previous loss at 24w) I had a stitch as my cervix was 0.9 at 25w anyway I was in and out and admitted at least 4 times but they arrived at 35w small but otherwise fine..I remember the stress though and they are 7 this week x

Sexnotgender · 13/09/2020 20:39

That’s good news. Every day countsFlowers