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Premature birth

Connect with others and find premature birth support.

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Original poster

Premature Baby 31 Weeks

72 replies

anxiousdad20 · 25/08/2020 00:22

Hi all, I’ve actually just signed up to this site specifically for this and was wondering if anyone could give me any advice, reassurance.
DW has just given birth at 31 weeks, this was unexpected. She had a low lying placenta which was picked up at the 20 week scan. Placenta previa. In most cases this isn’t a problem and the placenta moves. We were given a scan date for week 32, we didn’t get that far.
Basically in the last three weeks, DW was getting some bleeds. She called the midwife team and went to the hospital. On each occasion, she was sent home, and told to monitor it. Nothing to really worry about as baby was ok and bleed had stopped.
Fast forward to yesterday and she has a bigger bleed at home. I rush her into hospital, the bleed continues. The doctors say that she must have the baby there and then, there’s no alternative.
So baby was born and took straight into the special care baby unit. Doing ok, and not put on a ventilation unit. Positive so far.
After having a normal first pregnancy with no issues, this came as real challenge.
Hospital have been lovely though.
Obviously I’m very worried and anxious about baby being born this early, although appreciate there wasn’t an alternative.
Has anyone got any positive experiences of premature babies?
I’m at my wits end and feel totally out of control. DW is doing ok and still in hospital.
Thank you for reading.

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Anon326 · 25/08/2020 00:31

I’m afraid I don’t have a positive story. I also had a low lying placenta where I bled a lot. This led to contractions and my baby coming 4 months premature, Unfortunately he died.

I think you both have done well to get to 31 weeks. It’s a good sign baby is not on a ventilator and definitely in the best place possible.

I suppose you must be feeling a little helpless bcos you’re not able to be with them. The only advice I can give you is take it one day at a time. Even one hour at a time if you need to. It’s a scary moment but both your wife and baby are ok.

It might help to reach out to a counsellor to help deal with the emotions you’re feeling. It must’ve been stressful and you’re still going through it.

Original poster

anxiousdad20 · 25/08/2020 00:39

Anon, that’s really sad, I’m sorry to hear about what you experienced. One of the doctors actually said he was surprised she had lasted this far in the pregnancy, with how things were.
Did you have any more children?

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Rosiebelle17 · 25/08/2020 00:45

Hi I had two premature babies
Both born tiny , one had reflux the other didn’t , other than that it was fine but mental 😉 the surprise arrival probably hasn’t given you time to plan I think as the last few weeks make the baby appearing ‘real’ in my opinion
You are doing brilliantly

NervousInYorkshire · 25/08/2020 00:46

Sorry for your loss @Anon326

@anxiousdad20 - if it's any reassurance, I was born 15 weeks early. Collapsed lung, on a ventilator and in an incubator and stuff.

I'm 41 this year - I hope that counts as a positive experience

Original poster

anxiousdad20 · 25/08/2020 00:50

Thanks Rosie, I’m struggling but got my other little one to think about too. That’s what helps me keep focused.
I’m trying to be positive and strong but emotionally it’s difficult.

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loubieloo4 · 25/08/2020 00:50

My ds was born at 29+5 weighing 2lbs, he didn't need ventilation either, he had a bit of jaundice which is very common. He is now a strapping 6ft 3 19 year old! The only problem he's had was glue ear, which runs in our family's anyway. Grommets sorted that out when he was 4.

Original poster

anxiousdad20 · 25/08/2020 00:51

Nervous, wow that’s great! 15 weeks premature and your 41 this year! You’re my inspiration ♥️

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Crinkledbeetroot · 25/08/2020 00:53

Congratulations. It sounds like your baby is doing well! I had a 32 weeker who did need ventilating for the first few days. He spent nearly four weeks in SCBU. He is now a happy, healthy nine year old with no health worries and is one of the tallest in his class.

Grandmi · 25/08/2020 00:58

Congratulations anxiousdad ...scary times for you and your partner. 31 weeks gestation is not brilliant but great that baby is not being ventilated.Just remember that babies do survive and thrive from 24 weeks...just keep positive .Sending you ,partner and gorgeous baby positive thoughts.🙏Xx

Original poster

anxiousdad20 · 25/08/2020 00:58

Loubieloo and Crinkledbeetroot that’s good to hear to!
I forgot to say,DW was given steroid injections before the birth, to help the lungs develop.

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Original poster

anxiousdad20 · 25/08/2020 01:00

Grandmi-thank you that’s reassuring.

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user1486131602 · 25/08/2020 01:18

My son born at 29 weeks, 2lb 11ozs various problems at birth, including ventilator etc....20 yrs later, he is an A* uni student 6ft 4 ins and has no lasting problems!
I’m sure that your baby will be the same...31 weeks is not too preemie.
My advice, take it one day at a time and support your wife as best you can. And listen to the NICU staff advice!
My story is opposite to yourS.....my 2nd child born 6 weeks early and weighed 8lb 7ozs, she too is very healthy.
Congrats xx

Gardening1 · 25/08/2020 01:39

Neonatal nurse here! I could give you so many positive stories of babies born at 31 weeks gestation!
Your baby not being on a ventilator is a really good sign too.

My advice would be to have skin to skin cuddles with your baby as much as possible and for as long as possible - there's lots of research that says this helps babies put on weight and helps their brain develop.
Breast milk is also especially important for preterm babies. This won't be given to your baby by breast, but instead by a feeding tube down their nose or mouth for a few weeks. It can be hard to establish breast milk supply when you're separated from your baby, so starting to express early and expressing frequently (8 times a day) is really important.

Congratulations!!

Rtmhwales · 25/08/2020 01:42

My DS was born at 31 weeks, same as yours didn't need the ventilator. He's a lovely happy 26 month old (just passed his due date by 2 years). It was an easy three weeks in the hospital with zero complications.

Heartofglass12345 · 25/08/2020 01:47

My boys were both premature, one born at 30 weeks the other one at 33 weeks. They both needed ventilating but apart from that they sailed through the NICU and were both home well before their due dates. My youngest did give us a scare when I he was about 4 weeks old as he stopped breathing and I had to revive him, he had bronchiolitis. They are 4&7 now and you wouldn't know they were prem, my oldest has autism but he may have had that anyway. Just be there for your wife, she may still be in shock and may be upset that she didn't get to go full term.
Congratulations and I hope your baby is home with you soon

UpsyDaisysarmpit · 25/08/2020 02:00

My firstborn sadly died at 24 weeks in the womb due to preeclampsia. I then had it a second time with my son, and he was born at 31 weeks. He spent 24 hours on the ventilator although he was breathing and crying when born. He then had a further day in an oxygenated incubator and then a couple of weeks in the incubator, and another 2 weeks in a neonatal cot in the final room of the SCBU.

He's now 13 and doing fine. No major health issues despite the ventilation etc.

As others have said, really good if your DW can actually see a decent lactation consultant if there's one in the neonatal, as they can help with the lactation which is very much the best thing for a preemie (who won't have had much of a 3rd trimester to receive all the antibodies in utero).
Hope the stay in neonatal is uneventful. And congratulations!!

YourWinter · 25/08/2020 02:28

Congratulations on your baby's arrival, even in unexpected circumstances.

My DGS was born at 31 + 4, he had four weeks in NICU and went home with his feeding tube in place for another couple of weeks. He is nearly four now, bright and beautiful, tall for his age and flying in every measurable capacity. It all seems a long time ago.

I wish you all the very best.

Original poster

anxiousdad20 · 25/08/2020 06:25

User- thank you.

Gardening- yes baby will be getting cuddles and DW will be expressing milk. This is something we didn’t plan on either as we were going to feed formula originally, had baby been born on time.
I’m buying an expressing machine today. I will pass on your wisdom!

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Original poster

anxiousdad20 · 25/08/2020 06:27

Rtm and heart of glass-thank you.

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Original poster

anxiousdad20 · 25/08/2020 06:30

Ipsy- that’s sad regarding your first one. I’m glad your second one was ok.

Yourwinter- thanks.

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Original poster

anxiousdad20 · 25/08/2020 06:39

Upsy, sorry about your first child. I’m glad that your second one was ok.

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Hopefulhen · 25/08/2020 07:04

My friends baby was born last year at 30 weeks + 6 days due to placenta previa. I googled the stats because I assumed a baby born at that gestation was bound to be disabled or had a high chance of dying. Completely wrong, most babies born then are completely fine. He had a few weeks in NICU where he developed pneumonia and needed a chest drain but he is a totally normal 1 year old now and you would never know how premature he was.

Beautyoftheirdreams · 25/08/2020 07:14

Hi, congratulations on your baby. My son was born at 31weeks after he stopped moving. He was poorly and was on a ventilator for a little bit but once he came off he was absolutely fine, no other problems and stayed in for a month to grow. He came home at 3lbs9oz and had a feeding tube at home for a week before that was removed. Like your wife, I had intended to formula feed but had to express and breastfeed as he was so early. We were lucky and his feeding responses were well developed so he took to it fairly well. I managed to continue it for 16 months in the end despite not wanting to initially.
He's had a few hospital admissions since, particularly in the first year. He struggled with colds and seem to go to his chest. We had a lot of support from his NICU consultant and it was nice to have the back up of them if I was concerned about anything. He also had to see a physio and optometrist because he was born before 32weeks as routine but all has been fine. He was formally discharged from the NICU service just before lockdown. He's 3 now: happy, robust, healthy. You wouldn't know that he's a preemie

FelicityPike · 25/08/2020 07:23

My DD was born at 31 weeks due to preeclampsia and she just turned 5 and started school 2 weeks ago.

ChristmasinJune · 25/08/2020 07:24

My ds was born at 31 weeks, he spent 1 week in Nicu, 2 in hdu then 1 in special care nursery. So a month in hospital in total. He came home and went from strength to strength since then. He's now a bright, energetic 8 year old. The only slight consequence of his early birth is a fine and gross motor skill delay. Not serious though. for you, I hope your lo is completely fine and the chances are that they will be. Take care.

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