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Premature birth

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Original poster

I'm giving birth to a very poorly 29 weeker tomorrow, any advice?

556 replies

Alb1 · 01/04/2017 19:47

I won't go into too much detail as it can be a little quiet on here and I don't want to pour my heart out to no replies Blush

Il be exactly 29 weeks tomorrow, the baby is very poorly and it's been made clear her chances arnt great if they deliver her. But we also don't have any options to help her if we leave her in utero, so she's clearly going to get more sick and die anyway. The doctors arnt giving an opinion of what they think is best so it's all been left down to us, although they said if I was past 32 weeks they'd deliver. So we feel we need to deliver as surly even a tiny tiny chance is better than no chance. Our last baby was stillborn to the same condition (we were told these things don't happen twice, we had absolutely no idea, and nither did the doctors, that it could reoccur) but we didn't find out until hours before she died last time so we couldn't do anything, this time we've been trying for over 4 weeks and have exhausted all options other than delivery.

Don't no what advice I'm looking for, has anyone else had a baby against the odds and how did it go? I think with the doctors not being able to offer an opinion I want to feel like I'm not making a selfish or wrong decision somehow Confused

OP posts:
LuchiMangsho · 01/04/2017 20:46

I gave birth to a 26 weeker in January. He came home last week with absolutely no ongoing concerns after 9 and a bit weeks. So my NICU experience is fresh. My husband is a medic and he asked some very honest questions of the doctors. I would ask the doctors what they intend on doing once she is born. She will obviously be intubated. What do they want to do next? Are there any urgent procedures to perform to relieve the pressure on her heart? When will they carry that out?
With my son they took several hours to stabilise him. He then self extubated so they moved him on to CPAP. But if your baby has a heart condition she might remain on a ventilator for slightly longer. They will put in various IV lines for medication. They also put my son under lights for his jaundice.
I expressed colostrum 90 mins after delivery. And he was given the colostrum straight away.
On Day 5 they put in a long line or a central line which meant they could take some of his other lines out. On Day 9 he moved on to 'full feeds', and there was no need for what is called TPN (an artificial feed for babies) and the long line came out.
These are roughly some of the milestones you are looking at in a 'healthy' pre term baby.
Please message me if you have questions.

TheElephantofSurprise · 01/04/2017 20:46

Flowers Thinking of you and your little one.

itsacatastrophe · 01/04/2017 20:47

Wish you all the best for tomorrow.
A friends grandson was born at 23 weeks and is now turning 2, against the odds. 29 weeks have a very good chance.
Will be thinking of you x

DramaAlpaca · 01/04/2017 20:47

Very best of luck to you & your baby tomorrow.

pinkieandperkie · 01/04/2017 20:47

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow. X

namechangedtoday15 · 01/04/2017 20:48

What an awful situation but you sound amazingly strong.

Nothing like you're going through but I went into labour at 27 weeks with twins, waiting for them to be delivered was the scariest thing I've ever done.

They're nearly 12 now. We've been through the mill a bit as a family (nothing to do with their prematurity) and the staff on the neonatal ward (NICU/SCBU) are still the most dedicated, caring and professional staff I've ever come across. They were amazing.

So all I can say is I'll be thinking of you and wishing you all the best - and take comfort from the fact that she will be in absolutely the best hands and they'll do everything for her.

Littleelffriend · 01/04/2017 20:48

This has really touched me there is a 29 weeker in our swimming class and he is perfect at 14 months. Look after yourself and I so so hope your next post is good news xx

LuchiMangsho · 01/04/2017 20:49

Also neonatologists can and do perform miracles as do babies themselves. I found the NICU a frightening and very inspiring place to be in. Take loads of photos and ask the nursing staff how early you can be involved. Within a week we were getting cuddles, changing nappies and feeling much more involved in his care. We read to him several times each day. Good luck and much love to your baby.

chocolateisnotsleep · 01/04/2017 20:51

I don't have any experience of prem or poorly babies but didn't want to read and run. I welled up reading your story and wish the very, very best of luck for you all tomorrow OP. So many random strangers will be thinking of you tomorrow and sending love!

Pinotwoman82 · 01/04/2017 20:51

Thinking of you Flowers

paddypants13 · 01/04/2017 20:55

Flowers Best wishes for you and your daughter op.

IWantAWittyUsername · 01/04/2017 20:55

I will be thinking of you and your baby tomorrow. xxx

pieceofpurplesky · 01/04/2017 20:56

Thinking of you op

Nix32 · 01/04/2017 20:56

Another one thinking of you and sending positive thoughts xx

GeekyWombat · 01/04/2017 20:56

No advice, just more good thoughts for you and your little one Flowers

lazyarse123 · 01/04/2017 20:58

You are giving your baby the best chance. All the best for tomorrow. Flowers

InTheRedTent · 01/04/2017 21:00

Enjoy your first cuddle with your baby girl.

A different condition but a small ray of hope - our daughter was a 28 weeker. Appeared healthy at birth but quickly became apparent there was something wrong with her lungs beyond the usual CLD. She was diagnosed with a condition not compatible with life, we were told to take her home and enjoy the time we had with her but it would only be a few weeks, maybe a couple of months if we were lucky. She turned 5 this year. She is one of 3 children in the world living with the condition. There is no reason to think she won't live a long, healthy life. These babies are tiny but mighty and a lot of neonatal teams are incredible.

LexieLulu · 01/04/2017 21:02

I hope everything turns out well Alb, sorry if I've missed, do you know if you're having a boy or girl? Tomorrow doctors will make a proper start on making him or her better, the baby already sounds like a warrior, I have faith for you xxx

ohdoadoodoo · 01/04/2017 21:02

Good luck for tomorrow xx Flowers

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 01/04/2017 21:03

Sending you love and strength, you are doing the right thing. I will offer a silent prayer for you both, tomorrow. 🌸

LexieLulu · 01/04/2017 21:03

Just seen the previous comment saying baby girl! You'll get to meet your baby girl tomorrow OP :) and they are going to help her in every way xxx

Sillygoof · 01/04/2017 21:05

No advice, just loads of love and good thoughts for your baby. I too know people who had micro preemies, 25 weeks, and they're big strong healthy happy kids now.

Please try to remember to take care of yourself as well as the baby x

sebashocked · 01/04/2017 21:07

Oh you poor thing. I wouldn't wish a rollercoaster NICU stay on anyone (spent a couple of months there with my 30 week DS) but it sounds like you are absolutely doing the right thing. The coming days will be both emotionally and physically tough for you but you will be in the best possible hands. Wishing you all the luck in the world.

Goldmandra · 01/04/2017 21:12

Another person here keeping everything crossed for you and your little one tomorrow.

Just remember that being a parent means you get to make decisions you don't feel equipped to make all the time. You have been handed the information and the responsibility and you are making the very best decision you possibly can for your baby. That is all you can do.

You are getting the best care and advice and are giving her the best chance you can.

Sending Flowers by the truckload and hoping that you will come back to this thread soon with a positive update xx

Northernlurker · 01/04/2017 21:16

Given her condition and your previous stillbirth I think you are absolutely right to get her out now. You've no choice really. If she stays in utero she will die. I hope everything goes very smoothly for your delivery.

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