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Premature birth

Connect with others and find premature birth support.

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Original poster

I'm giving birth to a very poorly 29 weeker tomorrow, any advice?

556 replies

Alb1 · 01/04/2017 19:47

I won't go into too much detail as it can be a little quiet on here and I don't want to pour my heart out to no replies

Il be exactly 29 weeks tomorrow, the baby is very poorly and it's been made clear her chances arnt great if they deliver her. But we also don't have any options to help her if we leave her in utero, so she's clearly going to get more sick and die anyway. The doctors arnt giving an opinion of what they think is best so it's all been left down to us, although they said if I was past 32 weeks they'd deliver. So we feel we need to deliver as surly even a tiny tiny chance is better than no chance. Our last baby was stillborn to the same condition (we were told these things don't happen twice, we had absolutely no idea, and nither did the doctors, that it could reoccur) but we didn't find out until hours before she died last time so we couldn't do anything, this time we've been trying for over 4 weeks and have exhausted all options other than delivery.

Don't no what advice I'm looking for, has anyone else had a baby against the odds and how did it go? I think with the doctors not being able to offer an opinion I want to feel like I'm not making a selfish or wrong decision somehow

OP posts:

emmeline7725 · 01/04/2017 20:01

Thinking of you x

FabulouslyGlamourousFerret · 01/04/2017 20:01

Where there is life there is hope, did you see the documentary about the boy born without a brain? .. he defied all odds. Thinking of you x

iloveredwine · 01/04/2017 20:01

Thinking of you xxx

Thewanderer03 · 01/04/2017 20:02

No advice I'm afraid but sending thinking of you and hope everything works out well x

MiniMaxi · 01/04/2017 20:03

I didn't want to read and run. Wishing you and your baby all the best

neonrainbow · 01/04/2017 20:05

Good luck for tomorrow. have you had a chance to look around NICU and have the doctors explained your daughters likely treatment plan? Don't be afraid to ask any questions even if you think it's obvious. I wish you and your lovely baby the very best of luck.

BarchesterFlowers · 01/04/2017 20:05

Does your baby have known health problems in utero Alb?

I had a 29 weeker, we had a rough ride in the NICU with heart surgery and a blood condition.

She is now 10, very bright, very fit and healthy, doing a triathlon at Easter, absolutely no ill effects whatsoever other than a remaining heart issue that has no effect at all.

I remember how scary the wait to deliver is even now.

All the best to you.

Original poster

Alb1 · 01/04/2017 20:05

Thank you everyone, didn't expect so many replies! Il reply more after but I may aswell add what the condition is now, it's sustained SVT (so heart beating at around 250 bpm rather than 120-160) which has now resulted in hydrops, fluid around the abdomen. So they can do things to try and slow the heart, but it's the fluid on the abdomen that makes breathing more difficult. But currently her organs are still working, she's had hydrops for less than a week but it's built fairly quickly. We have tried all available medication in utero and the baby has responded randomly and unexpectedly to every one of them and we are worse off now, they cannot stop the SVT and it's killing her slowly. I feel getting her out is the only and obvious choice (other than letting her die) but the doctors are just negative about her chances, which is fine, I fully understand that, but having been through stillbirth I can't just let another stillbirth happen. This way she has a shot at life, and even if she ultimately doesn't make it, we might have a chance to meet our baby, see her eyes and feel her warmth. I'd have given anything for even just a few minutes with our last baby alive, although meeting her after she was born sleeping is still something I will cherish forever, she was perfect

OP posts:

Eclecticmama · 01/04/2017 20:08

No advice I'm afraid, but I'm another who'll be thinking of you tomorrow and wishing you luck. You sound like a strong mummy, sorry to hear you've been through so much already. Hope your baby is a fighter

BusterGonad · 01/04/2017 20:08

Hi Op, I obviously don't know about your personal medical issues but my son was born at 28+3 and was classed as extremely premature due to IUGR, he weighed only 1lb 10oz. He was in the NICU for 3 months and we had some tough times but he's fit and well now. He has delicate features and is very slender but he's a happy bright 8 year old, he has his quirks and I do sometimes worry about him but he's a fighter and is the best boy in the world.

DuPainDuVinDuBoursin · 01/04/2017 20:09

Tiny tiny babies (and their mums, dads, and Doctors) do amazing things every day. Every day. The doctors would tell you if they thought this was wrong or selfish. They'd steer you in the other direction.

It's your baby's birthday tomorrow

BusterGonad · 01/04/2017 20:10

Sorry Op, x posted with you. Good luck for tomorrow. I hope your daughter is a fighter. Xx

overmydeadbody · 01/04/2017 20:10

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

While I have no experience of I'll babies, two of my dcs were premature so I have lots of experience of NICU. Be prepared for it to all be overwhelming. Take books, snacks, and blankets and clothes for baby to make her cot feel personalised.

Be prepared for the emotions. I cried on my way to hospital every morning and cried as I left every night. I was numb at home, just showering, sleeping and doing basic stuff, but my life was spent by their cots in NICU. Nothing else mattered.

Sending you well wishes for tonorrow. All the best.

chanceofrain · 01/04/2017 20:12

You are doing the right thing, and the only thing. You're giving her a chance at life. I am so sorry about the loss of your other perfect daughter, and that you now face such worry with your new baby. I will be sending every good thought and wish to you and your baby girl.

BusterGonad · 01/04/2017 20:12

The neonatal doctors and nurses are amazing Op, they really are. They will help you to make the right decision, they would never knowingly steer you towards the wrong one.

anotherdayanothersquabble · 01/04/2017 20:12

Good luck. We will all be thinking of you and your baby.

Palomb · 01/04/2017 20:13

I too have an 8 year old who was born at 27 weeks and wasn't expected to survive due to a medical condition.

I remember the days leading up to his birth as some of the bleakest of my life :( you'll be in my thoughts tomorrow xx

EyeDrops · 01/04/2017 20:13

Can't add any advice I'm afraid, but I think you're doing an amazing, incredibly brave thing to give your baby girl a chance at life. Wishing you all the very best tomorrow.

GreenPeppers · 01/04/2017 20:18

No advice apart from the fact that the reasons why you are choosing to deliver now sound like the best reasons in the world.

I hope tomorrow you will be able to hold your baby and give a long cuddle

Stripeymug · 01/04/2017 20:19

Sending best wishes

neonrainbow · 01/04/2017 20:21

It does sound like she'd have a better shot outside. The staff in my local NICU were fabulous and always explained everything. If you get the chance, push for kangaroo care as soon as possible and do as much as you can. There are many well documented benefits to doing this as soon as possible but be aware that your baby may not be well enough for you to hold her initially. I didn't hold one of mine for a number of days. in my babies room in special care there was a baby who was born at 25 weeks he was discharged the same day as mine so there's plenty of hope for you. My boys were born at 31 weeks and in NICU for five weeks. Have you had steroid injections to mature her lungs?

Also if you want to breastfeed you need to start hand expressing colostrum as soon as possible after the birth ideally in the first couple of hours. If you aren't sure how then get a midwife to help. The NICU might be able to lend you a hospital grade pump as well. You'll need to express every 3 hours. Don't expect to get very much to begin with, literally just a few drops of colostrum for the first few days. Drink plenty of water.

If you don't want to breastfeed don't feel guilty. You are in a horrendously difficult and stressful situation so everyone should understand that it is entirely your choice. Your milk may not come in. Mine didn't and I blamed myself but it was a combination of the circumstances and that they were so premature that my body just didn't produce enough. Depending on your hospital your baby may be offered donor milk which is supposed to be easier for the baby to digest while waiting for your milk to come in or for her digestive system to mature enough to handle formula. If you're not sure what any of the machines do just ask the nurses or doctors to explain exactly what they are for. And make sure that you have somebody looking after you as well as you may well be all over the place and will need the support.

Isadora2007 · 01/04/2017 20:21

Thinking of you both. And you sound like you are making the best choice for your little one to have a chance. Much love.

ineedwine99 · 01/04/2017 20:22

Really hoping and praying for the best for you all OP

Abraiid2 · 01/04/2017 20:22

Sending you my best wishes.

ClaryBeanHorshAndMe · 01/04/2017 20:23

Oh gosh. I don't have any advice to give.

Best wishes! I'll think of you

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