Late term abortion - 31 weeks

[Hellokitty1986]

Trigger warning....(abortion)

Termination at 31 weeks due to extenuating circumstances (uk)?

I will start by saying my son has a genetic disorder which is spontaneous (it was not passed on through me or dad) just one of those unfortunate things. He is 8 years old and In turn, this genetic disorder has caused a cancer that has lost him the use of his legs the past few months. Previous to this he was on a drug trial which was going well and all this decline in his health has happened during the pregnancy which has been hard in itself. Regardless, he is excited to meet his brother as he has been very isolated especially recently.

I had an amnio to rule out my sons condition in this new baby (that would be unlikely considering both me and my partner) and the other few they test for in the UK (downs, trisomy, edwards and pataus). All came back negative.

Everything looked great until 28 week scan. Prominent fetal gall bladder. Asked for a termination. Said no come back in 2 weeks as may resolve. Came back for 30 week scan and it's worse...Prominent gall bladder, dilated bowel and ascites around abdomen (fluid). I am going to speak to a consultant on Tuesday but regardless of what they say this sounds awful. I am also stunned that the only test for 3 genetic disorders with the NHS amnio. I was absolutely sure that they said they test for more. I remember I did ask could I get more extensive testing privately and the dr at Manchester said no, he's never heard of that. I've since realised that's not true. I feel like such an idiot. I am seeing a consultant at another hospital next week but this screams chromosomal disorder already.

Would I be able to make a case for a termination at 31 weeks (UK) due to my sons declining condition and the fact that I cannot look after 2 sick children? I cannot cope watching another child have a bad and painful life brought into the world by me.

Will he be in pain in my stomach if he dues have these anomalies? I can't eat or sleep. I feel sick as a dog.

It like, really isn't. I'm sorry but you're reading something into it that isn't there.

However, my reply made op unhappy so I have bowed out. Please stop calling me back to the thread thanks.

Totally understand the panic OP, but it could be nothing. I was told at 30 week scan my baby (whom measured in 25th percentile through pregnancy) had an abdomen measuring off the scale and they were concerned that I wouldn’t be able to birth her. I ended up being induced early and having a c-section when that didn’t progress. Baby was fine and the likelihood is those measurements were wrong. I would suggest you listen to the experts on this because it could well be nothing. I really hope it is nothing and you can enjoy your new baby.x x

Christ, could you be any colder?! There is no "next time". Just someone suffering right now.

My daughter gave birth to a baby with a fatal foetal abnormality last year. She'd known the situation from 20 weeks and it was her choice to proceed. MRI scans seemed very helpful to her and the neonatal team re the baby's prognosis.
You desperately need more information and i'd focus on that before making a decision.
Best of luck.

You are horrible, cold, insensitive twat. Fuck off.

That's literally what I got. I ready explained that in the post.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I am by no means a medical professional, but a bit of googling found this medical article. It was a study of 775 foetus' 43 scans showed enlarged gall bladders. 39 babies were followed up 38 were normal. The 1 baby had a 'an isolated ventricular septal defect, which closed spontaneously,'

They concluded: an enlarged gallbladder at antenatal US does not appear to be associated with a substantially increased risk of chromosomal aneuploidy

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9722862/

Jesus @PurpleRivers what a disgusting thing to say.

I think that you are really getting ahead of yourself here. Ascites is often caused by a blockage, which can be meconium. It can often resolve itself, but usually does after birth. The other issues indicate possible bile duct or liver issues. They can perform further tests to rule out further chromosome anomalies. I think that you are panicking because of your current situation with your son. I think that most people in your shoes would be. You've been through the wringer. However, from an outsider perspective you need to take a step back and find yourself things to distract yourself with until you have seen a consultant and received more information. Trying to resolve this in your mind is not going to work as you simply don't have enough information. Instead you are just filling the gaps. You need to try and break the worry cycle if at all possible for now. Easier said than done, I know, but maybe a relaxing swim, gentle walk, lunch out or the cinema might help. Also talk to your midwife team as they might be able to get a consultant to give you a ring for a quick chat rather than you having to wait any longer.

Xx

It isn’t.

I am sure the OP realises she is 31 weeks pregnant and what that means. If you have never been in this situation I suggest you take a step back. It is the most awful time. I hope you never experience it. My life changed irrevocably. I lost my innocence. I felt such awful visceral grief. I could not bear to go to bed, knowing that I would wake up and have to go through the next day. You already feel you are a terrible mother, that others will judge, that you are cursed, that you will never be forgiven.
Im not writing this to be dramatic or get sympathy for myself but in the hope that it shows you that mothers who have been through a TFMR feel awful enough without others making things worse.

Edited to say: I wrote in response to PurpleRivers post which was deleted while I was writing. I debated deleting my post in light of that but I’m keeping it up in the hope that it explains what it is like in these circumstances.

@PurpleRiversoh stop it. They are not the same atall

I haven't said anything disgusting at all? Just the basics of the situation.
I had a 29 weeker, they're a developed thin newborn by the third trimester.

How did you think your shitty post would help the op exactly?

If you can't be supportive, hide the thread rather than make someone going through hell feel worse.

Your stress at having a severely disabled child is causing you to not think logically understandably. Your baby does not from what you have said and the scan have a genetic condition or a severe abnormality. At worse it’s a surgery and that’s is not even a given. Please get some help from the peri natal mental health team if you are not already. In answer to your question no you can’t terminate at 31 weeks on the slight possibility your baby may need an operation.

@PurpleRivers well it got deleted. Glad you had a good outcome, but I doubt you are medically qualified to comment. Nobody has the clinical information of op.
She has asked for support. Nobody should judge or try to sway her. It’s her body, her life. She’s already going through a living hell, don’t make it worse.

I didn't say anything shitty, I just said the average size of a newborn that gestation and then gave her advice for where to get support via a disability SW if she hasn't already.
It would hopefully give her some awareness of how developed a baby of that gesitation is and an idea of where to get support.

That's not all you said, that's why your awful post was deleted.

I am so incredibly sad this has happened to you. Sending you so much love and strength right now, regardless of which journey you end up on.

That is literally all I said, that whether the baby is in nicu or still inside unable to be seen it's the same gestation.
Not considering that would be far more traumatic after the fact than having to face it before while deciding.

I'm sorry OP. I hope you can get some clearer answers that will help you make your decision. This is one thing that perplexes me that in this day and age with all the advanced technology that baby scans are still so ambiguous and very much a lot of guess work. I remember many of my measurements were hugely off and just served to panic me.

When I had the CVS done I was told all babies chromosomes were being tested but they just read out the 4 main disorders results on the phone and I was told the test was 100% accurate. I was also never actually sent the results! Sending you my wishes btw sorry this is happening to you x

Sorry, this sounds really stressful OP.

I may be completely off but my 28 weeks scan for my DD came back she had a really big abdomen. I spent the next four weeks eating a really low carb/glucose diet myself and when I went back to be rescanned at 32 weeks her abdomen was in normal range. She was born full term perfectly healthy.

Forgive me if it’s not related, but could it be something as simple as inaccurate scan measurements or your own diet?