Pregnant again but I’m heartbroken

[Firsttmum]

Just wanting to find some guidance and support. I currently have a lovely almost 2 year old girl, she was planned. My fiancé and I own a two bedroom house which is just the right size for the three of us and aren’t financially able to move into a bigger place yet. I have just been promoted at work to cover for maternity leave.

my partner and I have had talks about having another child and both weren’t sure we wanted one but definitely knew we couldn’t afford one right now. My first girl was really unhappy as a baby and it took a toll on our mental health and relationship.

as well as this, we solely rely on grandparents for childcare. My partners mum is getting older now and finding it more difficult to look after my daughter.

yesterday I found out I’m pregnant again. I’m absolutely heartbroken and am in two heads about what to do. My partner being the more pragmatic one said he would support whatever I wanted to do but I know he wants me to terminate it. I know the most sensible thing for us right now would be to terminate but the thought of it makes me sob. Having my daughter has highlighted to me what potential this pregnancy has. It would be helpful to get advice and support from people who’ve experienced similar. Thank you

In your situation that is a really tricky decision to make. But I believe in following your gut instincts - if you logically persuade yourself to make the choice you don't truly feel is right, that could be something you come to regret bitterly. If you follow your heart, you will accept any downsides that result. At least that's how I would approach it.

I think you're projecting and it's not helpful.

I missed the part where you say you've made your decision but my advice still stands - go with your heart

I'm sorry, OP. Let the decision rest for a day or two to make sure it's the right one, and then move forward - however you feel is absolutely fine. You've got to make the best decision and sometimes, none of the options are easy, but you will all be okay.

A baby would most likely be easier for grandma to cope with than a 3 year old.

That’s a very flippant comment! I don’t think the OP can rely on family childcare for two kids. It’s a big ask for one.

There is some help with childcare coming for babies - not huge, but it might help.

Please don't be pushed into a decision by your partner. You have to do what you feel in your heart.

Doing 'what you feel in your heart' is often very bad advice for women. Women should think more with their heads and less with their hearts in life. Making your life much more difficult and stressful isn't often a good decision.

Just to clarify, I don’t feel pushed to make a decision by my partner in the slightest. He’s just the more practical voice but ultimately the decision is my own.

I may have made it sound that my partner was pushing on the original post sorry about that