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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

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Original poster

Abortion at 10 weeks and biggest regret!!

28 replies

Strawberry10x · 15/01/2024 20:21

Hi. I’m not really sure where to start tbh but I feel like I had to reach out somewhere, not even sure if I’ll get any replies but I needed to express my feelings somewhere.

I had a surgical abortion on Wednesday (10th Jan) and now I’m full of instant regret. I know it’s still all quite raw and hormones are all over the place but I’m struggling.
I already have 3 children and finding out I was pregnant came as a shock. Me & my partner had never spoke about having our own child together. We had a number of talks about what to do and decided that not carrying on with the pregnancy was the best for our family.

I now just can’t help but feel guilty, disgusted in what I’ve done, it’s literally killing me inside. I’m being strong for my children but the minute I’m alone all I do is cry. I also feel like I don’t have the right to be upset as I made the choice.

I’m worried that I’ll never be ok again and the guilt is just too much. Not sure I’ll ever be ok again.

Not really sure where I’m going with this!!
But my advice to anyone who is in the situation now and is deciding what to do, please make sure you are 100% sure on your decision. I thought I was and never thought about how I now have to live with this guilt for the rest of my life.

If anyone has any advice or wants to ask me anything about the procedure then feel free.

Thank you for reading if you made it this far.

OP posts:

Unreliablenightmare · 27/10/2024 02:17

@Anxiousmumma1 thank you. I'm sorry that you've had such a hard time. It's so difficult. It's not your fault though and anxiety takes over. Don't let the guilt get the better of you or hold you back. All guilt does is rob you of your happiness. I hope you're doing okay and thank you for well wishes. We're feeling much more positive now xxx

Gonegirl7 · 14/11/2024 08:01

Unreliablenightmare · 23/02/2024 20:05

@Unblossomedflower bless you. That sounds tough. Only you can know. I felt the sme months ago, I was adamant I was done and really enjoying being a familu of 4.

If you think you're suffering from perinatal anxiety, ask your midwife to speak to the perinatal anxiety team and be adamant. If you haven't started speaking to the midwife yet, make sure you do. I really wished I hadn't rushed the decision. Have you hit 12 weeks yet? I read alot after about how some people felt much more relaxed and excited after their scan. I really wish I'd waited. I have been utterly heartbroken. I'm having weekly counselling and I have cried every day since I made the terrible decision.

Only you know what the tight thing for you is, my only advice is, don't rush it and see how much of a plan you make for the baby fitting in (free childcare from 9 months in September I think). Please don't underestimate the feelings on this side of things. I read how people felt relieved. I've not felt that at all and have really struggled for the last few weeks to look after my children. Not saying any of this to scare you, it's your decision and some people do feel relieved but that hasn't been my reality xxx

Edited

I think you are really right about the 12 week mark. I had a surgical abortion booked and pulled out 24 hours before.

Up until that point I felt anxious and sick and exhausted and weak and depressed.

Now I feel mentally and physically stronger and more optimistic about the baby. I think the week I’m in and the hormones are completely calmed down. I felt in a fog - insane before

Unreliablenightmare · 17/11/2024 08:37

Gonegirl7 · 14/11/2024 08:01

I think you are really right about the 12 week mark. I had a surgical abortion booked and pulled out 24 hours before.

Up until that point I felt anxious and sick and exhausted and weak and depressed.

Now I feel mentally and physically stronger and more optimistic about the baby. I think the week I’m in and the hormones are completely calmed down. I felt in a fog - insane before

Show quote history

I'm so glad that you're feeling stronger and more optimistic. All I felt was regret afterwards. I knew it was a mistake and now I'm nearly 34 weeks pregnant. It definitely wasn't the right decision for us as a family. How far along are you?

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