Medical vs surgical abortion opinions please

[Yorkshir27]

Hi guys, I’m scheduled for my consultation on Thursday and I’ve been reading so many threads on here to help ease my mind.

i am an extremely anxious person and I can’t explain how much stress I’ve been feeling this week and probably will be up until next Thursday. I’m very very scared about the pain I might experience in both methods of abortion but I am leaning slightly towards surgical - I’m only around 6/7 weeks but the idea of waiting so long for the pregnancy to pass and especially at home gives me so much anxiety.

i am thinking of asking for the surgical option because it puts the control into the hands of the doctors and the procedure is a lot quicker and I just want this over and done with.

please if you’ve experienced either recently and have a positive experience could you share? I’m so worried, and scared of potential serious side effects 😔 just really want this over. Thank you ❤️

So sorry I didn't message yesterday @Jsh125 how did it go? x

Thanks so much for thinking of me @pinksapphires that's so kind 😊. All went well & so relieved it's over. Really appreciate you asking.

@TTM123 I promised I'd share my story so here it is for anyone else who may need it in future too. I was around 7 1/2 weeks & had surgical with local anaesthetic.

Had a bit of waiting around after I arrived before I was seen, then given 2 misoprostol tablets & an antibiotic. Antibiotic was swallowed & misoprostol dissolved under tongue for at least 20 minutes. Was sent back out to the waiting room to wait an hour for it to soften my cervix or whatever it was for. After 20 mins I was able to swallow what was left of the misoprostol. Had some very mild cramping but nothing major.
After a bit more of a wait I got taken to get changed & after a little while longer I was in for the procedure.

The staff were all lovely, 3 in total - one doing the procedure, one scanning your tummy & one distracting you from what's going on. After quickly going through what would happen they injected the local anaesthetic into 3 places on my cervix. I wasn't prepared for how much the first injection would hurt but it was literally a second - just took me by surprise. The second two injections were much better. Then started the suction & I could feel cramping which was painful but not at all unbearable (I'd also forgotten to take the ibuprofen as suggested an hour before as I was at work so was going in with no pain relief).
The whole procedure itself was literally 5 minutes. I had a good cry at the end, it just came out!

Afterwards they helped me back to the recovery area, initially I felt a bit lightheaded & sick (despite only having local) but think that was a combination of relief, stress, emotion, morning sickness, anxiety & a million other things. This also literally lasted for 5 minutes & then I felt much more like my normal self again. After about 10 mins they sent me to the toilet to check the bleeding on my pad, then I got dressed & was ready to be discharged. Another short wait to see a nurse to go over what to look out for & I was on my way home.

So I was there for 3 1/2 hours in total but the vast majority of that was waiting around. There were 4 of us having the procedure & the other 3 had light sedation so I was last on the list. From procedure to leaving was max 45 mins I'd say. Those having light sedation looked terrible when they came out & took longer to recover so I was glad I opted for local but appreciate its not for everyone. Sharing a recovery room with others in the same situation was a bit weird but to be expected.

Bleeding has been light & cramping has been manageable with ibuprofen & hot water bottle. I'm fortunate that I get zero pain with my periods usually so have become a bit of a wimp with cramps as I'm not used to them but they honestly haven't been that bad. I was tired afterwards but that was down to the build up & pregnancy hormones.

Nice early night & this morning I'm feeling like a different person. Still a tiny bit nauseous but nothing compared to how I had been feeling, I can look in the fridge again & not want to vomit. Cramps have stopped this morning & bleeding still very light. I mean I feel a little bit tender which is no surprise given what they've done but really can't complain at all .

Having been through both medical & surgical I'd personally take surgical ( I am NEVER finding myself in this position again). Knowing it was done & I don't need to worry about what was happening down there was great for me, recovery has been quick. Downside has been the wait for the appointment & the fact you have to go to a clinic to have a procedure which makes it all feel much more real than taking a couple of tablets.

Hope the helps for anyone waiting to go through it now & in the future.

@Jsh125 thank you so much for sharing your story. I am glad it’s done now and you can finally relax. Mine is next Wednesday. I’ve had many wobbles in the build up to this. Is this the right thing etc. I’m just ready for it to be done and pray to god I don’t regret my decision. I wanted to ask… did you have the option of having someone with you? I might call the clinic tomorrow and see if this is an option as I really am unsure if I can do it alone. Hope you’re feeling back to yourself now x

Hi @TTM123 you're so welcome, I found it really helpful to know what to expect.

I'm ok thanks, recovery going really well, emotionally still a bit wobbly but not regretting our choice. Hope you find you feel the same too - so hard to know how you truly feel until it's done but hopefully it's the right choice, trust your gut instinct - it's usually right. I was the same, I talked myself into & out of it so many times but deep down I knew it was the right choice for me.

I didn't take my husband with me as I had to take time off work & so would have he, I felt ok enough to do it alone so told him not to worry but you absolutely can if you want to. There were support people with 2 of the others who were there at the same time as me. From what I could see they were able to wait with them but when it came to the point of getting ready & having the procedure the woman was on her own. It may be that they chose it to be that way but I got the impression from the info I had that your support person could only be with you until you went in.

Once it was over I REALLY wanted my husband so having someone waiting for me would have been much nicer but that was my choice. You only stay in the recovery area for about 15-20 mins & then you would be reunited (they may be able to be with you while you recover, guess it depends on each clinic & space / other people).

The staff were so so lovely & there was always someone with you once you went in to get ready. They have someone in the actual room to specifically support you while the procedure is taking place.

Definitely give the clinic a call to double check the situation but if there are parts where you can have your support person with you then please try not to worry, the staff will do an amazing job of looking after you & the whole getting ready/procedure/recovery really doesn't take too long.

Sending you lots of hugs, waiting is awful. Hope you're not feeling too sick & that Wednesday rolls round quickly for you. I absolutely don't regret choosing surgical over medical, the recovery has been so much better than the medical I had.

Keep talking if you want to, always here to listen & share any helpful experiences. Not sure of your situation but I only told my husband & found it really hard to pretend all was normal so strangers on the internet were a huge source of support 😊.

@Jsh125 That is all really useful to know so thank you.
Did they do a scan at the end to ensure it was all removed?
Again my worry is I can’t swallow tablets so really hope they don’t turn around and say I have to otherwise I can’t have the procedure done.
I don’t know, I guess I am over thinking everything right now.
I will call the clinic tomorrow and ask if I can have someone with me, even just for someone to drive me home after as not sure how I’ll be feeling.
It’s so tough with having to wait this long for the appointment. It starts making you question things which really scramble your head and makes it all that more difficult but i do know realistically having a baby now isn’t the right time. It’s sad because me and my fiancé want children but just not yet… god I just want Wednesday to bloody hurry up!! You’ve been so helpful and supportive thank you :) x

@TTM123 no worries at all.

They scanned me throughout the procedure & from memory they continued for a few seconds just after it was finished so i guess that was checking it had all been removed. It was abdominal though so I suppose there could be tiny bits left they couldn't see but apparently this is unlikely. There was the doctor actually doing the procedure, a nurse scanning my tummy the whole time & another nurse holding my hand & trying to distract me.

The only tablet I had to swallow was the antibiotic. The misoprostol to prepare your cervix you just put under your tongue & let it dissolve, then a swig of water for the last bits but by then it was tiny pieces of powder really. I don't think not being able to swallow a tablet should mean you can't have it done. There may be an alternative antibiotic injection possibly? Or it might be ok to not have the antibiotic if it's going to be impossible to have orally. The antibiotic was 3 tablet, one before procedure, one 4 hours after & one 8 hours after but it's just incase of infection which is low risk anyway.

You can 100% have someone with you for a good chunk of the time so hopefully that will help.

The waiting is awful, it gives you so much time to overthink it. Have you had any of their counselling? I wasn't going to but actually found it really helpful to talk to someone even though I was as certain as I could be of my choice. Xx

@TTM123 just checking in to say I hope you're ok, your appointment is tomorrow isn't it?

'Hope it goes well' doesn't feel like the right thing to say but hopefully you get the sentiment, hope all goes to plan & there's no problems with your support person or taking tablets etc.. thinking of you

@Jsh125 Heya. Yes it’s tomorrow. So kind of you to message and for you to remember! I’m feeling quite at peace with it now and I know it’s the right choice for me. They rang me earlier to confirm the appointment and I reiterated the issue I have with swallowing tablets and they confirmed I won’t have to swallow anything which is a massive relief for me. Obviously feeling nervous and worried how painful it’ll be but I know it’s the thought of it which is making it worse than I’m sure the actual process is. As bad as it sounds I just can’t wait for it to be done so I can get back to my normal self again. They mentioned I can actually have someone in with me during the whole process as they have relaxed their restrictions but I think I want to be in there alone. My fiancé can’t come so my mum will be coming with me and not sure I really want her to see it happening. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow as it’s all just the unknown at the moment. I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes. Thanks for your support.

Hi @TTM123 so pleased you're able to have your support person & won't need to swallow tablets - hopefully that means it'll all go smoothly tomorrow.

The waiting is definitely the hardest bit isn't it, I really feel for you but this time tomorrow things will feel so different & glad you're feeling ok about it all. Don't blame you for wanting to be alone for the actual procedure, I felt the same & they look after you really well.

If it helps I only had mild cramps for the evening of the procedure & by morning they were gone. Felt a bit tender but didn't have any more cramps at all after that. The actual injection hurt but not for long & I felt very crampy when they did it but definitely more than manageable on paracetamol / ibuprofen so hopefully there's a liquid form you can have. It really was nowhere near as painful as I expected.

Recovery has been good so far so definitely glad I went for surgical & really hope you have a similar experience.

Sending you lots of supportive hugs for tomorrow, let us know how you get on as & when you feel like it. I found it nice to know there's support from someone out there who has been through the same thing.

@Jsh125 Thank you for your kind words. It’s been lovely to have someone to talk to.
So procedure is now done.
Lots of waiting around when I got there. 1 hour after my initial appointment time they called me in to take blood pressure and test my blood to see if I needed an injection (unsure what it was called) but luckily I didn’t. So the message went through about me not being able to swallow tablets and the surgeon said due to me being 7 weeks 5 days pregnant he would try the surgery without me take the misoprostrol ( think that is what it’s called?) otherwise if I were to take it vaginally I’d have to wait 3 hours for it to dissolve! And by that point I was getting fed up of waiting so I opted to not have any prep before the surgery. So I took 800mg of ibroprufen (the melt version!!) then got dressed and went into the treatment room.
The surgeon was very professional but friendly and he talked me through some things and explained he will try do the surgery without me having had cervical prep but if it doesn’t work then I’ll have to take it then he will try again. Then the lady who was with me to scan me throughout was great, she was actually the same lady who I saw a couple weeks ago to do my ultrasound to see how far along I was and go through my options at the start of my process.
Turned out I wasn’t actually allowed anyone in with me even though I was told I was but luckily I wanted to be alone anyway.
They let me listen to earphones and go on my phone so I told them I don’t want them to talk to me whilst they do it I just want to watch a music video which they were completely fine with but I do know they insert a speculum in ( exactly the same as when you have a smear) then I only assume he then Injected the local anaesthetic as it was a quick sting. After that it was just a pressure type cramping feeling which is more than manageable. The machine is quite loud so I’m glad I decided to listen to music and also not hear them talk about what they were doing etc. Squeezed the ladies hand who was doing my scan and within I’m pretty sure about 5 minutes it was done. So very very quick and I was lucky he managed to do it considering I didn’t take the cervical prep. I let out a big cry which I couldn’t control then nearly fainted but think that was the adrenaline so they wheeled me into recovery (so dramatic!) and the lady who was in recovery sorted me out a nice sugary coffee and biscuit! She then went through what to expect the next week or so and I checked my pad to see if my bleeding was ok, rested for a bit till I wasn’t so faint got dressed then my mum took me home! The antibiotics they sorted me out with a smaller tablet size which I feel more comfortable trying to swallow. The lady said if I really can’t take the antibiotics then it isn’t the end of the world but just to be extra vigilant with cleanliness and keep checking for signs of infection.
So to anyone who reads this please know the surgical really isn’t that bad. If I can do it… and I’m a huge wimp… then you can do it. I’m so glad I chose surgical over medical. So far I’m feeling absolutely fine. Veryyyy slight cramping but I get period pains so this is nothing compared to that! So yeah… if you made it this far. It’s really not that bad and it was the right decision for me.

Hi @TTM123 so pleased it all went ahead as planned & there were no issues with taking tablets.
Sounds like you had a good experience under the circumstances & fingers crossed you recover easily & quickly from it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Made me feel so grateful we have free & easy access to bpas & other similar charities

@Jsh125 heya. Exactly my thoughts yesterday with how lucky we are to be able to receive what we have. I feel for people who don’t have the access that we do. I’m feeling ok this morning. Had a good cry last night but think that was because it really hit home what had happened if you know what I mean? Sure hormones will be up and down next couple of days but it’s done now and I need to just try move on with life. How are you feeling? Do you feel back to “normal” yet if that even is a thing!?

Hey @TTM123 glad you're feeling ok today. Absolutely understand having a good cry, I was the same - such a mix of emotions & that realisation that you no longer had a choice about what to do, even though I knew it was the right choice it felt weird that I'd made it & couldn't go back.

I'm feeling good, thanks for asking, physically I feel back to normal. Still bleeding though & not sure if that's usual but will see how it goes. Did a test out of interest yesterday & it was SO dark, came up as soon as I dipped it but I guess it takes a long time for hormones to drop. Mentally it's been weird, I do find myself thinking 'ooh I should be x weeks pregnant' 'would be coming up to scan' but I think that's just the romantic memories of being pregnant with babies I wanted & reminiscing about how exciting it was - this is so different as we just didn't want another baby.

Hope you recover well & feel back to your normal self soon, still here if you want to chat at any point as you recover, sometimes it's nice to just have someone who knows what you've been through 😊

@Jsh125 Glad you’re feeling physically well. Bleeding wise I think it’s normal considering what we have just been through. I’m sure they said not to worry about bleeding unless you fill two pads in under 1 hour. I stopped bleeding the evening of the procedure and now just have a tiny bit here and there but everyone’s bodies are different. I wouldn’t worry.

I was tempted to do a test to see what it shows as well but decided against it as i would probably scare myself into thinking I’m still pregnant even though I know that is impossible!

Completely understand where you are coming from about the thoughts of “oh I’d be so many weeks and days pregnant today” etc. I keep getting thoughts like that too. Social media isn’t really helping either as many of my friends are pregnant or just had children. I think it will just take time to settle in what has actually just happened even though it was completely my choice to do this. I know it was the right choice but it is still sad and we are completely allowed to still feel upset by it all. There is a big part of me which is sad as this is not how I envisioned my first pregnancy to be. I wanted it to be so different and happy but it just is what it is and I need to accept that. Time is the biggest healer.

I am here too for as long as you need. Talking makes it so much easier x

Hi @TTM123 just checking in to see how you're going? Hope you're recovering well & emotions are settling down a little too.

Such a hard decision to make but I'm absolutely sure things will be so different when the time is right for you & you'll go on to have a lovely happy pregnancy further down the line when you decide it's what you want.

@Jsh125 Heya. I’m doing well thank you. Feeling much more like myself now. Have some moments of sadness still but ultimately I know it was definitely the right choice for me. I am also quite happy to not be feeling unwell anymore too! How are you getting on? Has your bleeding stopped now ?

Hey @TTM123 lovely to hear from you. So pleased you're feeling more like yourself & are starting to move on from it. Totally get what you mean about having moments of sadness though. Have you physically recovered? Hope it was all straightforward

I'm ok, bleeding didn't stop so phoned the aftercare line who sent me for a scan, despite saying it was highly unlikely to be abnormal. Went back for a scan & showed retained products, gave me some tablets to see if they would shift it & went back a week later but rescan showed they hadn't so had to have the procedure repeated again yesterday. Not quite what I was expecting but everyone was so lovely (& very apologetic - these things happen, I hardly blamed them for it!). Found the whole thing much less emotional than first time of course so that really helped & today I finally feel like I can put it behind me, fingers crossed!!

@Jsh125 Yes physically fine. My bleeding was really on and off for a while but now I’m just waiting for my period to start.

Oh blimey sorry you had to go through all of that… so good you called them though and got it sorted. It’s hard enough having it done once let alone having to go through it again. With it only being yesterday how are you feeling physically now?

Hope your period arrives soon & you know where you're at & that things have returned to normal. Glad things are going ok though

Thanks 😊. It really wasn't that bad fortunately & just glad it has been sorted, I thought I was just being over cautious so was kind of relieved I wasn't imaging it! Physically doing really well - bleeding has already stopped which is a novelty after the last month (it might start again but hopefully not!), no cramping either just feel like someone has had a good rummage around in there but aside from that, all good 😊

@Jsh125 Well it just goes to show that if you’re unsure to always get checked! Glad you’re doing ok though and the worst is all over now. If you need a chat I’m always here ☺️

Thanks, yep definitely glad I trusted my instincts. After being smug about there being no bleeding it suddenly ramped up overnight but hopefully will tail off again soon!

Hope your recovery continues to go well too 😊

Hi @Jsh125 how you getting on? Hope the bleeding has eased off now?

I am having a bit of a tough day. Feeling really down but can’t really explain why… this was completely my choice and I still stand by the fact it wasn’t the right thing to continue with the pregnancy but I can’t help but get upset sometimes. I think someone I know announcing their pregnancy yesterday who have roughly the same due date as I would’ve has been a bit of a trigger for me. I am 90% fine but just have moments of deep sadness about it all. I can’t really talk about it to anyone face to face…or maybe I can but I don’t know how to!

Hey @Wins22 lovely to hear from you but sorry you've been having a tough day. How are you doing this morning? Don't be hard on yourself, I think it's totally normal to feel like you do & you're not the only one.

I 1000% get it, I could've written exactly what you did - it's how I feel too. I don't regret our choice & it was right for us but I get this overwhelming sadness too & I'm never sure what caused it. Still find myself thinking I'd be 'x' weeks by now & that sort of thing. Not all the time of course but it comes in waves. Someone I know is also pregnant & similarly to you would have a due date around the time ours would've been due. It's weird how that makes you feel.

We've both been through a lot, even though it was our choice it's still a huge thing to process. Also totally get the not having anyone to talk to - only my husband knows & I'm scared to tell anyone else. It's the sort of thing that never gets talked about so I have no idea of any of my friends views on abortion, once I've told them I can't take it back & although I hope they'd be really supportive I'm nervous so that's stopped me saying anything but that also makes this whole experience really lonely.

Physically I'm all good now, I assume! Bleeding stopped so just waiting to see when next period arrives & hopefully all is back to normal. Hope you are too.

Am here if you need, welcome to dm if you prefer 😊

Thank you for sharing your stories. I am going to have to most likely make this difficult decision in the next 2 weeks. I’m 22 weeks pregnant and my anomaly scan has shown many issues with the baby. We are currently waiting for the amniocentesis test result but the outlook is bleak.

The consultant recommend the medical route when discussing the options as this is apparently a better option if I want to get pregnant again in the future. I would much rather go for the surgical option, I don’t think I could handle the emotional and physical distress of the medical route. We’ve been trying for over 7 years and this is my first pregnancy.

Has anyone else been told the same thing? That a medical is preferable to a surgical procedure?