Abortion and no support

[bitchrestingface28]

I'm just looking for some support and seeing if anyone is going through this right now. I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago, didn't tell my bf and he ended our relationship last week anyway. I just feel so sad that I have no one. I'm inserting the tablets tomorrow, I know it's the right decision and I don't want to have a baby but I just feel so alone. I suppose this is my main reason for abortion, I know I'll end up alone and already have 2 children.

Has anyone else done this alone?

Hi OP. I started the process of a medical abortion yesterday. I do have a partner but I also have 2 children same as you.
Why didn’t you tell him you were pregnant?

Despite having a partner I also feel very alone in this; he hasn’t been very helpful and I don’t think he has a clue how to support me.

Sorry to hear that you're feeling alone in this too. How are you feeling? Have you been able to look after your other children? I've never done this before so I'm nervous about what's next. Is your partner there for you or doesn't he know how to handle it?

It was a new relationship.. we've only been together about 5months and I felt him backing off, so I was worried about his reaction tbh if he didn't support me or care would've made this worse. When I found out I also realised I didn't want this with him, so I can accept it's over just really not great timing. Think it's the hormones I just feel horrible

I’ve been in bed most of the day, dp has looked after the kids as I’m “unwell”. I’ve never done this before either and if it’s any help it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. The worst of it was over within a few hours and it’s like a regular period now. Dp is supportive of my choice as I always have HG when I’m pregnant and he knows I can’t go through it again. He’s the type to put a brave face on and be positive when really I just want him to sit and tell me how shit it is right now lol.

I can understand your reasoning. When I went to the clinic yesterday I absolutely knew it was the right choice, but I was still tearful and found it difficult.

do you have anyone to talk to ? The only people who know are my dp and the ladies at the clinic. I keep thinking I should talk to someone about it but then I feel like I don’t deserve to be sad, as it was my choice, if that makes sense.

Well yeah I get that because it is shit! Do you have any family/friends you could confide in? It doesn't matter if it's your choice it's still a hard situation to be in and not a nice thing to go through. How far along were you? I'm 7 weeks so I'm worried that it will be worse.

I've told 2 friends and they've been really supportive but I don't feel like I'm burdening them if I keep going on about it. I suppose I wish I could tell my mum or bf and have their support but I know I can't.

Last week I just couldn't wait as I wanted it to be done but now I'm here I just feel awful

I don’t have anyone in real life that I would tell about it,no.
I was only 5 weeks but because of the HG I knew before my period was late.

I hope today goes ok for you x

Good morning, hope you’re ok. I’m also in the same sort of position 😢 already got 2 children…11 & 7 and found out last week that I’m pregnant. Not planned and just not right for us, our family is already complete. I’ve got an appointment on Wednesday for a scan through NUPAS and then they’ll give me the medication. I’m so scared. How’s it going for you so far? Xx

I've just started to bleed but it's very light and not cramps yet. It wasn't very nice inserting the tablets and I did have a little cry. I've had chills and feeling a little sick, just staying on the sofa watching trash tv. Feeling better this morning maybe I was just tired last night and feeling lonely.

I have similar age children to you and I know what you mean, you've gone past that baby stage and starting to enjoy maybe a little bit of freedom. I have so many plans for the future and know this would just set me back another 10years.

Hope you're ok OP. I've had an abortion, it's not a pleasant experience but definitely the right decision.

Yeah that’s exactly how I feel, it seems so long ago since we did the baby phase… it would be like going back to square one. I know how selfish that seems but that’s how I feel.

fingers crossed that it happens soon for you and isn’t too painful, at least then you can start to move on xx

Hope you are ok OP. I went through similar a few years ago. I did have a bf but it wasn’t his baby (brand new relationship following breakdown of another) so I didn’t really feel I could talk to him about it. Had no friends to confide I either. Message me if you want a chat lovely. Hope you are ok xx

It's definitely happening, it's not too bad just uncomfortable like period cramps. I'm feeling better emotionally already, it was definitely the right choice for me and it's done now so hopefully I can move on. It wouldn't be fair on my other children and that's what I keep thinking.

Thanks for all the messages

Glad you’re ok @bitchrestingface28 , I was thinking of you earlier.

Hi I hope your doing OK OP. I'm waiting on my 1st appointment for this next week. I found I'm pregnant again on the 30th April, this would be my 5 pregnancy 4th baby. I have a miscarriage with my 1st, I have 3 living children and now this pregnancy. I have never done this before and I'm petrified that it will change me. Will I regret it for the rest of my life? My husband and openly said he doesn't want it but I'm on the fence, I always said I'd go down this route if I was to fall pregnant again but honestly I never thought it'd become reality! Advise welcome. Thank you

Hope you’re ok. I’m also petrified about going through with this and how it might affect me in the future. I’ve got my scan appointment tomorrow where they will give me the tablets to take home. I know it’s the right thing to do for me and my family but it’s something I just never thought I’d have to do. Sorry no advice, just having the same worries. Xx

I understand what you're saying, the reality of actually going through an abortion is really distressing and I don't think you can see it till you're in that situation. The night I took the first tablet i felt so scared and alone, I did have a few doubts if I wanted to continue. I think you will know what's best, will you have your dhs support either way? All I can say is I knew straight away I didn't want another and couldn't go through it all again. I don't regret having the abortion I do feel relieved today.

That must be hard having to go for the scan. I contacted BPAS and they called me and sent the pills through the post. Have you got a few days to stay at home and rest? I'd say try to have someone there for you the first day to look after you. I had my eldest dc making me tea and getting me water, but I was ok only had a few waves of painful cramps where I couldn't move. Today it's much lighter and I'm feeling better 💐

Yeah I didn’t really want to have a scan but they insisted as I’ve had the contraceptive pill within the last 3 months. I was planning on taking the first pill Wednesday evening and then the others on Friday… will I be ok after the first pill as I’ll be working on Thursday? My husband will be home with me on Friday and then all weekend to recover. I’ll tell the kids I’ve got a sick bug.

glad you’re feeling better, must be a relief now xx

Oh I see, are you going to the scan with anyone? I took my first pill on the Sunday then went to work and was fine, I did feel a bit dizzy after but made sure I drank lots of water. Yeah that's good, I think for me the first day after inserting the pills was the worst. Just make sure you've got lots of food in as I didn't fancy cooking.
My kids didn't notice anything just said I was having a bad period. Its a lot lighter today and I'm back to work tomorrow

Hope your scan goes ok x

Had my scan, Husband came with me but they asked me to go in on my own. Measuring 5+4 and in the right place so I’m ok to have the medication. Going to take the first one tonight. I feel sad but I know it’s the best for me and my family, just want it to be all over now Xx

Hi I know I'm doing thr right thing for my family, it's been hard these past few days but I think I ready to begin the process. Yes I have the support of my DH, through the termination but I highly doubt he'd be there if I decided to keep the baby. Hes already told me he definitely doesn't want anymore children. I'm so happy you OK and doing well. Stay strong xxxx

Aw sorry that must've been really hard.. Glad you've got the pills, hopefully after taking the first one you'll start to feel more normal. I think with all our hormones being pregnant just makes it that bit harder. Let me know how you get on.

I haven't had much bleeding at all today, it's really not what I expected. I just hope it worked. Xx

@mummyof3.1986 It's such a horrible situation to be in when you know you'll be doing it alone if you continued. I knew my ex would see the baby but wouldn't be actively involved and I couldn't have another child in those circumstances. Have you contacted anyone to arrange an abortion? Just remember it's your body your choice xx

Took the first pill last night, had a bit of dizziness this morning but felt ok. Just been to the bathroom and I’ve started to bleed which didn’t fill me with regret… think this just solidifies our decision was right for us. I will still do the other tablets tomorrow but I think the process has already started. Hope everyone is ok xx

Morning, hope you're getting ok today 💐 @lauren1ofeach

I've had very light bleeding the past few days and starting to feel back to normal.

Im ok now thank you. Didn’t have a great experience with the second tablets… pain was completely manageable however I was bleeding uncontrollably soaking through pads so ended up in hospital. Some clots had become stuck causing so much bleeding. It’s all calmed down now so im home and going to have a chilled weekend. Not feeling half as nauseous as I was so that’s good.

Hope you’re ok xx