Medical termination

[Box1806]

hi,

I’m currently around 5/6 weeks pregnant. I’m booked for a medical termination on Saturday.

Bit of background - I have a 22 month old son suspected autistic but amazing and thriving. After having my son and losing my grandad, I developed health anxiety and it’s quite severe. I’d only just started to recognise who I was again when I discovered I was pregnant. Which seemed so cruel because we tried for 5 years for my son and eventually had him via IVF. - emotionally I couldn’t cope with another just now. and I am really worried about another child with care needs. Most of all I’m worried how I’ll cope afterwards, will I regret this? Hate myself? End up depressed? Although I’ve always been pro choice, I never thought I’d have to make this choice and I wish I wanted this pregnancy because I feel like a monster.

Sorry, enough of the Ramplings! I’m just wondering of any others experiences of a medical (I’ll be staying in hospital) or if anyone else I’d going through this and wants to support each other.

If you are going through this I’m sooo sorry. 😔

@Box1806 I think it’s more common than we think, hormones can do funny things.

Yes good idea, give yourself some time in between calling the hospital and the appointment to really think it through and if you’re still 100% sure of your choice then at least you have the appointment in place.

I think the cut off is around 9 weeks + 4 which gives me about a week - problem is I think due to my recent history of c-section and a missed misscarriage they may want to scan me first which could take longer than a week to offer the appt :(

Hi @Box1806 and @Luckyme30

Just wanted to comment after reading your posts. I’m 8 weeks tomorrow and have my telephone consultation with BPAS on Tuesday.

No idea what to expect - but the waiting is so awful as i’m going through every single emotion whilst feeling so unwell.

It’s been helpful to know I’m not alone.

@Paintingflowers hey! You’re about the same gestation as me then, I also have my phone consult on Tuesday too.

I’m dreading it but also just want it over and done with. It doesn’t leave much time for treatment really :(

Hope you’re feeling ok.

Hi @Paintingflowers so sorry you’re here and in this situation. 😔

It’s a comfort to you and @Luckyme30 have the same appoints maybe you can support each other through this.

I’m still tormenting myself. I don’t know what to do for the best. The longer this has gone on the more I think and I don’t think that’s doing me any good. I’m more confused than ever. i feel there’s no right answer. Keeping the baby feels wrong and so does aborting. please keep me updated with how Tuesday goes girls. ❤️

@Luckyme30 it does all feel rather tight doesn’t it? I’m hoping they can post the pills after that call…. But I really have no idea how it works. Not sure if that’s me just being hopeful?

@Box1806 I’m focusing on the fact that if I could turn back time, I would, and I would feel such relief. We had a condom split, post ovulation.

I don’t want to go through the process but I’m trying to keep those two things separate so not to get my feelings in too much of a muddle.

@Luckyme30 hey girls!

Just wondering how your phone calls went and the next steps?

Hope you’re both ok. (Or as ok as can be) x

@Box1806 hey! Just waiting for a phone call now (they are due to call at 2pm).

Tbh I’m having an awful day, I just can’t cope mentally with it all hanging over me, knowing each day I’m waiting I’m more and more pregnant.

How are you doing now? Have you had anymore thoughts about what you want to do? X

@Luckyme30 I think the waiting really is the worst. and I think it’s that what’s made me doubt everything because like you say you’re more pregnant.

I’ve booked back in with the clinic for Monday and thought I’d take this time to really think about things. I’m still confused, part of me things if I do this now my families complete and my son will have a sibling and the other part of me thinks, it’s just not what I want right now.

hope the call puts your mind at rest and once plans are in place you can start to see a day past all this. Keep me posted please! X

@Box1806 I just really don’t want to be much further along when I do it. I know from reading previous posts the wait is going to be long and I’m utterly fed up that I’ve been made to wait this long just to speak to someone to be honest :(

Glad that you’ve been able to rearrange to Monday like you say that gives you a good chance to really think things through and make sure it’s what you definitely want.

I couldn’t be more sure of my decision the longer I’m made to wait :(

Let me know how Monday goes x

@Luckyme30 sorry for the late reply, I’ve been to see my grandma today. How did the call go? You feeling ok about everything?

i think my trouble is I overthink everything. Can I ask how old you are? I’m almost 34.

Hi @Box1806 and @Luckyme30

My call was this morning and then said they would get the pills out today/tomorrow so hopefully that means it can all be sorted by the end of the week.

Felt very real having the call. How did your call go @Luckyme30?

I hope you are doing okay @Box1806

Were you able to speak to your grandma at all?

My sister had a miscarriage last month so I don’t feel I can talk to her or my parents atm. I’m 34….

@Paintingflowers that’s great. Well it’s not, but you know what I mean, there’s an end it sight and I think that’s best for you. Do you think the pills might arrive as early as tomorrow?

I didn’t tell my grandma about the pregnancy. She’d actually be fine with it tbh, but it’s me I feel so ashamed. I shouldn’t because I know it’s for the best, but it still doesn’t feel right.

@Luckyme30 hope your call went just as well.

Crazy who’d have thought we have ended up here eh! It’s like a club no one wants to be part of. X

@Box1806 and @Paintingflowers thanks for asking.

@paintingflowers I’m glad you’re able to get the pills and things should hopefully be resolved for you very soon! How many weeks are you now?

I was offered the pills but due to my previous experience with them (I won’t go into detail as you’re both due to take them and it’s only my specific experience) I declined them - I will be nearly 9 weeks and I don’t want to risk them not working.

Myself and the nurse decided that in my specific circumstances the best option for me is that I have a surgical procedure under a GA. Ive got to wait 3 weeks which feels like an eternity but I think it’s the best and least traumatic for me personally.

Hope you’re both feeling ok and Box1806 hope you enjoyed spending some time out of the house, I think it does good to get out if you can x

@Luckyme30

I’m so glad there’s an end it sight I know 3 weeks can feel like a long time but it isn’t and soon youll be able to get your life back on track. how do you feel about things this morning?

I’m just a mixed bag of emotions my OH has now stated to think like me and he knows this is for the Best, But hearing him say it, it suddenly felt very real. I’ll be ending a life before it’s begun and I can’t stop thinking that way. i don’t know how to come to terms with this. Any secrets?

how is your OH feeling about things? Us girls really don’t have an easy ride do we. X

@Box1806 exactly, in the grand scheme of things it’s not the worst wait in the world. My symptoms seem to have really ramped up though which is difficult to manage. I’m feeling a bit better mentally knowing I have a date but still difficult isn’t it.

In a way it’s great that your OH is now on the same page, but I get the doubts too. It’s a hard one, I think for me knowing I would struggle with another baby and knowing that in the longer term it is the best decision for us as a family, that is helping me to cope. I try not to think of anything past that date if that makes sense, just try and get through the days leading up to it. It is hard when you’re having doubts, however small they may be.

My OH is great, he’s been very supportive and knows it’s the right thing to do for the family we already have. It really helps that he’s on the same page - I’m sure there may be a part of him that questions my decision but if he is then he hasn’t let on.

Of course you will have some regrets but you also know it's the right decision for you now. Don't dwell on the regrets though.

@Luckyme30 you’re so brave, you sound like you have it all together and it’s all so clear in your mind. I wish I was more like you. 😔

it’s also great you and your OH are on the same page because I think that’s needed in situations like this.

Funny you mentioned your symptoms ramping up. So have mine, I feel sick if I don’t eat so I’m consenting eating and I’ve gained 6lb in 3 weeks! also the bloating is forever present.

Picked my little one up from nursery and they mentioned he’d been hitting today. Little monkey I hope that’s a passing phrase! :-/ sorry not really relevant I know 🤣

did you get your meds today? Keep us updated please @Paintingflowers

@Box1806 - nothing has arrived yet. I thought they were going to text when they were on route but I haven’t had the text either so I’m going to call tomorrow to check they are coming….

@Paintingflowers I’m sure they’re on their way matey! But yes deffo give them a call it doesn’t hurt does it.

how you feeling? How many weeks will you be?

I’ll be 8+2 next week. Feeling really nervous.

@Box1806 I’m 8 weeks + 2 today. Feeling very ropey. Constant migraine headache (could be the stress?!) and eating constantly/feeling nauseous constantly.

Struggling to work and parent currently!

@Paintingflowers you sound just like me! I’m forever eating and when I’m not, I feel sickly! no migraine here, but you’re right, it could well be the stress.

Hope you feel better soon, take care

@Paintingflowers have you revived your tablets? How are you getting on?

@Luckyme30 hope you’re holding up ok too!

I’m still so undecided. is anyone every 100% in their decision. i don’t want a baby now, I couldn’t cope and I know that. So why do i feel so terrible. 😔

They arrived yesterday @Box1806

Haven’t been able to take them yet though - feeling very conflicted

@Paintingflowers I totally understand and there’s no rush you have a few days. It’s such a big thing to do and have happen to you. Have you spoke to your husband?

I think I have decided to go ahead with the abortion on Monday. I’m scared and nervous but I know deep down this is not what I want right now. I just wish I didn’t feel so terrible about it.

@Box1806
I have - he’s supportive either way, but I know he’d prefer to not expand the family.

I seem to flip between abort and keep minute by minute.

Will yours be medical or surgical on the Monday?