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Pregnancy choices

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Abortion wait

81 replies

JessicaAnne2112 · 18/12/2021 10:09

I am around 6 weeks pregnant now .... I have wanted an abortion for about 3 weeks but as I had pain I had scans and they couldn't find it till last week so as it was pregnancy of unknown location I wasn't allowed to ring clinics .... I rang coming up to nearly 2 weeks ago now every clinic I could possibly do and even MSI choices who fund our area have me waiting will be near 2 weeks just for a consultation ..... I'm heartbroken and disgusted that they can make women wait it's diabolical and I'm devestated I may not have the worst part over by Xmas I hVe 2 young kids a husband and terrible mental health !! How is this even allowed it's just cruel !

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JessicaAnne2112 · 18/12/2021 10:11

Also leaving it longer just makes the whole process more traumatic too ! Honestly I'm so angry and upset I just can not believe it

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RodJaneFreddy · 18/12/2021 14:07

Have you tried phoning for abortion counselling, I totally get your frustration at having to wait, particularly if your 100% an abortion is the right decision the waiting can be agony.l but you seem in your post to be venting your anger at a situation that you have to wait fir. To those unsure the wait offers breathing space. There is no best solution.

JessicaAnne2112 · 18/12/2021 15:26

I get the wait is needed for some but I think if your sure there shouldn't be that wait ! I have spoke to counselling etc already , I basically knew from get go we weren't going to go ahead , but I had awful pain not long after and was admitted to hospital for 2 days which in tern made it that I had a pregnancy of unknown location therefore it made me have to wait longer to make sure it wasn't eptopic .... I just don't see why there has to be a wait when your sure, it is cruel and no one should have to wait in these circumstances if they don't want to surly? Sorry if I come across angry but of course I am 😫

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JessicaAnne2112 · 18/12/2021 15:27

It's also making the procedure worse by waiting even those couple of weeks .... It is going to be far easier at 6 weeks then at 8 or 9 and with bank holidays it will be so much worse for a wait also

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elliejjtiny · 18/12/2021 15:31

I'm so sorry. It's really bad but the waiting lists for everything are really long at the moment.

JessicaAnne2112 · 18/12/2021 18:51

And I do appreciate that but when it's yourself ... You don't care ... I know that sounds bad but it's so mentally damaging especially as your able to do it at home , it shouldn't take this long taking into account I will not actually be going to a clinic at all ... It's just awful

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Rose925 · 18/12/2021 21:48

@JessicaAnne2112 I’m so sorry you’re going through this . It’s truly horrible when they make you wait so long . Especially when it’s literally then posting pills out to your home now !
I get they are probably understaffed and swamped with more calls than usual due to contraception waits ( I am currently on a 3 month waiting list for coil!)
I had to wait a couple of weeks for my phone call , but with bpas I will say . I had my consult Saturday morning - pills arrived Sunday afternoon . So it was quick . Though from what I’m aware Msi you have to have 2 phone calls !
Is private an option for you ? As I went private for a previous termination and it was super quick ( 1 day wait for consult and tablets come next day ) it’s around £400 xx thinking of you

JessicaAnne2112 · 18/12/2021 22:01

We rely on food bank alot so we don't have any spare at all , I begged bpas to help they don't fund out area .... It's so cruel I am so over the feeling nauseated and achy and sore boobs it's like torture when your mind is made up ( mine is for medical and my mental health and our financial situation right now is far from great) ... I am hoping of I beg them enough they may hear me but I'm not feeling confident ... I have 5 MSI clinics I can drive to to collect the tablets if that's quicker but they said to me I have. Nurse ringing Tuesday then I have to wait for a doctor ... Like why not at the same time it's just ridiculous and I think utterly disgusting , I not long had cervix surgery and was religiously on the pill and still fell pregnant so I did try not to be in this position and I'm devestated I am ! Just want to move on now and. Terrified that if they leave me I'll be closet to 9 weeks therefore medical is going to be way more traumatic 💔 it's just beyond unfair I have contraceptive all ready to go along with a prescription of pain meds and anti sickness all from my gp as in his words "that is the most I can do for you and I'm so sorry I can't do more"... It's just wrong so wrong ... Sorry I'm ranting but I'm just so full of anger , sadness , panic , not at my decision but the fact I'm being left pregnant when I don't want to be 💔

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Rose925 · 19/12/2021 00:17

@JessicaAnne2112 it’s horrible I know exactly how you feel .
I was in your position I recently had my termination Tuesday - don’t feel bad for your reasons you’re doing the right thing for you and your family .. MSI seem to do things different ( I was going to go with them for my first one I had , I was distraught I had a 19 days wait for the call to then be told that call was just for medical history etc , that they’d need to book me for ANOTHER call to sign off the pills ?! Which would of been another week on top of that ! I was beside myself so I went private .
I really feel for you it’s such a tough thing to go through as it is . To then have to suffer with the symptoms of the pregnancy to and to let it to continue to develop and grow when all they need to do is post you the medication is just callous . I’m so sorry x

JessicaAnne2112 · 19/12/2021 08:27

If I could I would of gone private I just can't afford to we live month to month and use food banks 💔 one reason I don't want to bring another child into this ..... It definitely is right for me I'm just Disgusted the wait ... I am early but I'm terrified of leaving it 🥺 I do have a date booked at another clinic for Dec 30th .... They can offer surgical but it's still a wait that I don't want to have to do and the surgical will be just after new year .... I honestly am struggling being pregnant it's such a mental struggle but like I said not because I want the feotus but the wait like you say it's just horrific 🥺

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stormyalphabet · 19/12/2021 08:44

So awful OP.

Just wanted to say you don't need to justify your decision to anyone. I'm sorry it's taking so long. I imagine it feels like the longest wait.

Rose925 · 19/12/2021 08:49

@JessicaAnne2112 absolutely - when you feel like this you , the days merge into one another . I don’t know about you but pregnancy really isn’t for me, my mind makes me feel like an alien has taken over my body and it’s a horrible feeling .
The fact it’s Christmas period just makes it 10 times worse.

JessicaAnne2112 · 19/12/2021 09:02

Thank you ! I have this weird feeling of feeling some guilt even though I'm sure ... I have 2 young kids already so I guess that's probably why a bit ... I have hd counciling my gp my family everyone knows I just am over it all now 💔

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JessicaAnne2112 · 19/12/2021 09:04

@Rose925 I actually usually love pregnancy I have 2 young kids and I loved it but this one I fell pregnant just after cervical surgery (4 weeks we had sex and I must of caught then 🤦🏻‍♀️) and this time I have been very uncomfortable and because I knew it wasn't right it has felt all wrong from the start so yes feels like it's not my body ATM 💔

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Serenbach14 · 19/12/2021 09:34

I can't offer any help but I can completely relate to you, I spent hours recently trying to get a private appointment due to a 2 week wait in the NHS but the private clinics couldn't offer anything sooner (I even rang ones 2 hour drives away and tried to get pills by post). I've finally got an appointment tomorrow morning after waiting and becoming worse with morning sickness as the days have gone on. Its so hard trying to look after the older 2 and turn up to things they have planned when I'm feeling so awful. I feel like because of all of this christmas is a thought in the background at the moment which is sad because if they gave appointments quicker I could have been through all this a couple of weeks ago and be the mum that my older children need right now.

I really hope you can access some counciling and get an appointment as quickly as possible.

JessicaAnne2112 · 19/12/2021 17:32

@Serenbach14 have had talks with a councillor but I already know what I want so she couldn't do much bar say "oh I can only imagine the wait is so long I'm so sorry".... And it doesn't make you feel better does it 😂🤦🏻‍♀️ I mean that's all they can say but it isn't comforting 😅 !

Is your app to have it done finally , can I ask hoe far you will be ? I'm terrified as if they leave me I'll be like 8/9 weeks and that is terrifying 💔

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JessicaAnne2112 · 20/12/2021 14:30

@Serenbach14 I hope your appointment went ok 🙏 thinking of you today , I'm hoping they can make my birthday tomorrow and allow me to pick the tablets up I just want to be over this now it's getting more and more emotional daily due to symptoms and having to take it easy due to pain so can't go gym 💔

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Serenbach14 · 20/12/2021 21:48

@JessicaAnne2112

Thank you so much for thinking of me, I'll be honest it's probably been one of the most difficult days I've had but am finally feeling a bit more at peace with the situation.

I had my virtual appointment today, the lady told me they'd post the pills out and to expect them Wednesday, which would mean doing to actual termination on Christmas eve. I cried and told her how I cant even keep water down at the moment due to sickess and can barely look after my older two children, I want to spend Christmas eve excited with them. It was agreed that I could drive to collect the pills from the clinic- an hour each way which I did.

It was a strange feeling as once I had them, I started to doubt my decision and waited until my partner came home to talk / cry and weigh up every possible outcome before finally going ahead and taking the first pill at around 5pm this evening. As the hours have passed my sickness has eased and I've managed to hold some food down this evening and have spent the night cuddling my biggest two and feeling so grateful for them.

I really can not understand how they can push ladies up until that 9th week to do a home termination when all the evidence suggests the earlier it's done the safer it is, not to mention the mental strain / side effects that you have to endure. From having the consultation today, I truly can not see why this is something that has to be done specifically by a sexual health nurse instead of a GP, a nurse practitioner at a GP surgery / walk in centre. It was a very straightforward emotionless consultation which just talked me though the procedure/ associated risks all of which I'd read online prior to it.

I really hope that you can resolve this, I don't know what to suggest but maybe ring your GP and see if there is any urgency based on how it is mentally effecting you?

Please keep us updated!

Rose925 · 20/12/2021 22:52

@Serenbach14 I’m glad you got the first bit out the way , I find actually swallowing the first pill is the hardest part . So well done !!
You do know you can take tablets anytime after the first pill though it’s just recommended to do it after 24hrs . There was a stage years ago where you’d go clinic and swallow first and go back a couple hrs later for the second .
So just do it whenever you feel comfortable .
And you’re right I agree , they should be offering this service via gp or even pharmacist . Especially With this whole tele medicine route they are going by now . The wait is completely unnecessary, my phone call was just over 10 minutes long .

JessicaAnne2112 · 20/12/2021 23:59

@serenbach14 oh I'm so glad you got to pick up ! I'm praying so hard but I have been told that there is also a doctor phone call .... I am having issues with sickness also it's just not fair 💔

I'm praying so hard I can't hold on much more I have so many links saved to pills online but I'm scared of that too , but I'm desperate but I'm also scared if I tell them that they won't let me do it at home ! Urgh !!!

Your amazing and stay strong please keep posting if you wish through out ❤️❤️

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JessicaAnne2112 · 21/12/2021 00:06

@Rose925 I have 3 phone calls with clinics tomorrow different ones but the one that does telemedicine is MSI..... I am having such bad sickness this last week it seems to have peaked no anti sickness is working at all , now if it was planned is one thing but to be suffering and not want to carry on I'm struggling mentally , I can't wait another week or so and not enjoy Xmas day like I want too , I spoke to a 'guy' on the advice line he said "you know you will still be bleeding etc so it won't be done" I was like the worst bit will be and sickness is said to stop very quick but he wouldn't have any of it ! I was so deflated 💔 my gp backs me all the way and keeps telling me he wishes he could help ! It's disgusting x

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OneGlamMama · 21/12/2021 00:15

I found out I was pregnant two weeks ago. I had the tablets sent out and I passed the pregnancy today. All sorted under two weeks. Just got to take a test in 3 weeks to confirm.

I hope everything goes through for you soon, lovely! Thanks

Rose925 · 21/12/2021 08:03

@JessicaAnne2112 MSI was who I struggled with , when they told me I’d need yet ANOTHER call I too of the other I was disgusted that’s when I decided to go private - have you contacted BPAS? As MSI wasn’t funded in my area but they told me they could try and put an application for me if the bpas wait was too long , any they accepted me . I just lied and said the bpas call wait was over 3 weeks . So that’s also an option .
In regards to him saying it won’t be ‘over’ by Xmas how insensitive , mentally in your head if you know you’ve passed the pregnancy and the worst of the discomfort & heavy bleeding is over then mentally you’ll feel ALOT better - not to mention as soon as you pass the pregnancy pretty much all your symptoms 80% disappear instantly I found . So that’s so wrong of him to say that . Yes you’ll still be bleeding but that’s nothing more than a very heavy period by then . I’ve just literally stopped bleeding this morning ( exactly 1 week post pills)
I really am having everything crossed for you today that you can get the news you so desperately want - they should have compassion that you don’t want to be struggling like this over Xmas . I honestly don’t know how I’d of coped xx

JessicaAnne2112 · 21/12/2021 08:11

@oneglammama how on earth was it so quick who did you go with 😫

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JessicaAnne2112 · 21/12/2021 08:13

@Rose925 honestly I'm so anxious today and I'm so sad they can leave you ! It's just terrible , started my birthday throwing up ! So over it all now !

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