Does my GP need to know?

[JuniperBee]

I had a positive pregnancy test this weekend. I was initially really happy but in the past couple of days I have been overcome with anxiety. I have huge, huge anxiety about the future and the thought of bringing another child into the world is too much. I’ve been crying all day.

I’d really like to have a termination ASAP. I’m planning to contact Marie Stopes or BPAS tomorrow but will they tell my GP? I’d really rather not have it on my record at all.

Everyone is different, it truly is your decision but to add my experience - I terminated because I didn't think I could cope physically with another child, because there were already too many kids in the world and financial reasons but years later I have felt a lot of regret and really think something is missing, I daydream about having another child (I'm peri menopausal and on semi permanent birth control so won't happen). When I was pregnant that time I felt overwhelmed, extremely anxious etc. Take a few days to really think about it, and see if you can have a counselling session, better to take a few days longer to decide than later regret.

@movingonup20 I don’t know that I will regret it exactly but I probably will be sad and wish i hadn’t needed to do it if that makes sense. But I think the thought of this child facing such a horrible future will make me much sadder.

@JuniperBee - I'm not sure I can help you, as I think your worries are a mental health problem and not grounded in reality, but I want to try. I work in environmental science, funding research on climate change among other things. We are not fucked. Yes, it is an emergency and we need to act now to prevent the worst predictions coming to pass, but we are not facing a bleak future yet. Humans have so much ingenuity, and we are on the cusp of changing society to be more sustainable. I truly believe we are living through the most worrying time now - before we've properly acted - but better days are coming soon. I really think we'll see a massive change in attitudes and actions in the next 20 years.

Regardless of what you do with this pregnancy, stop worrying yourself senseless about this. It will ruin your life. Campaign and do your bit to raise awareness and cut emissions, but as someone who is close to the science and has been close to the politics I'm telling you - things will get better.

I think you do need to see your gp, you sound like you could use some support, it's not normal to feel so worked up like this.

OP I'm very sorry. Since it sounds like you actually want this baby, I think some support from your GP with your anxiety would be a really good first step to a more informed decision.

Also, since you already have a child, this child would be a sibling for them. We can't predict the future: I also work closely with people engaged on the climate issue and I agree not enough is being done, but that tide is shifting. Years ago I studied the cuban missile crisis, and spoke to some people who had lived through it, they talked about feeling certain the world was going to end, there would be a nuclear war. It felt inevitable at the time but didn't come to pass. You can see how quickly the world has come together to find a vaccine. Yes there has been inaction on climate change, but that does not mean there is no reason to hope, and also living in the UK means your children will be among the last to be effected globally, as selfish as that sounds.

It must be very difficult to have this level of anxiety. With regard to your GP, all anyone will want to do is provide you with enough support to manage your anxiety, their goal will be to support you to parent. Hiding this isn't going to best serve you or your child, and getting help might make day to day seem so much easier, whatever you decide about the pregnancy.

Thank you all for your posts. Especially yours @4amWitchingHour, I found it extremely reassuring.

I will think about it speaking with my GP. They are already aware of my anxiety and I’m due for a medication review quite soon anyway.

I am still pregnant. I don’t know why because tonight my anxiety is at an all time high and the urge to harm myself is so overwhelming. I cannot cope any longer. I am so, so scared for my children’s future and I just can’t live with it.

Please don’t harm yourself. You absolutely need to ask for help. Is your partner with you? Please call your GP tomorrow and tell them how anxious you feel, there’s no shame in asking for help. You must do, for your child’s sake.

My partner is with me but doesn’t know what I’m feeling. I was ok and then stumbled across a thread on here about covid which transpired into we are all fucked, the planet is fucked and our children are doomed. I try hard to avoid it but it appeared out of nowhere.

I just don’t see how any amount of medication will change the truth. I am terrified for my babies.

I feel like I cannot breathe, it is so awful and overwhelming and I cannot live like this.

What if your child is the one that helps to change the world?
It is so easy to think of the negative, try to find that one tiny sliver of positivity and hang onto it for dear life.

I think it is probably too late already for that @balloonsintrees

You really need to talk to your partner and seek help urgently. This isn’t normal. What you feel is not normal or reasonable and medication WILL help. If you care for your children then seek help. What’s the alternative? Other people don’t feel as you do, and we’re not all idiots blind to climate change, we just have it in perspective. This isn’t your fault but it IS a mental health problem and you absolutely need to seek help in order to keep your children safe.

Call the Samaritans helpline please op! You sound in a terrible state - please call for help

I just don’t feel able to talk to anyone about it. Especially not my partner because he’d so upset to know I’m back feeling like this

I’ve tried re reading the post by @4amWitchingHour over and over but then all I can think of are the dozens and dozens of posts on here saying we are doomed, the best days are now behind us etc etc.

I try so hard to avoid it but it was just a normal thread and then that subject came up. I can’t avoid it because it’s everywhere. Taking anti depressant drugs is just going to numb me to it and I don’t think it’ll even work because I can’t just pretend it’s not happening.

This is your mental health talking, I suffered horrendously with health anxiety after having my son and it was crippling so I can relate to how you are living with worst case scenario goggles on.
Please remember that good news doesn't sell, click bait headlines do. The posts you read on here are from people also in dark places, if you must remain on mumsnet, stick to the good news threads they really helped me.
I became hooked on brexit and had horded enough rice to last a year, it was insane and I laugh at myself now. But when you feel that terrified about the future, it is so difficult so I hear you, I really do.
Gp's and midwifes are there to help. You would be suprised the amount of women whose mindset / personalities totally change due to pregnancy. Please call and get an appointment, you will feel a weight has been lifted.
Terminating because of your fears of the future, is of course your decision, but you may regret it as of course you cannot predict the future, nor can the people who start the worrying threads on here.
If you must read the news, stick to reliable sources, I choose BBC and sky and limit it. I only read the news when having my morning tea, definitely not before bed.
Sorry this is long, I just feel for you and want you to know you are not alone and there is help out there for you.

Thank you @Ginandshinythings but I feel like even reliable sources such as the IPCC report make for extremely bleak reading.

I don’t think terminating will be an option now as I have left it too late.

I’m so sorry if I’m coming across as difficult or argumentative. I really do appreciate all the replies, they make me feel less alone.

You really need to seek medical help. Urgently.
Good luck to you.

@juniperBee you need to be realistic about this, yes it may be informative reading but, you and you alone cannot tackle climite change. You can do your bit in support, the biggest threat to your children right now is their mothers health, that must be your priority. Can you limit your reading, find other ways to fill that time, go for a walk. I always find baking a great distraction, long process, needs cleaning up and you get an end product. I'm just about to make some cupcakes with my son.
You are not coming across as difficult, you are in a state of need and our support virtually will only get you so far.

Hello @JuniperBee we're so very sorry that you're in such distress. Please know that you're not alone.

While the support from your fellow MNers is amazing, we're urging you to also seek some help in real life from a medical professional. Pregnancy is an anxious time for many of us, but it does sound like you're really suffering.

You might find some useful information on Mind's website. It has practical tips on what you can do when you feel like this and where to get urgent help. Samaritans are there for you too, 24/7, by emailing [email protected] or calling 116 123. You can also see the resources in our Mental Health webguide.