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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Original poster

Worried medical abortion is not working properly

100 replies

littleteapot77 · 20/06/2020 19:48

Hi, sorry I am brand new to this so apologies if I do something wrong.

I am 22 and live with my parents and boyfriend. I had a late period and got a strong positive pregnancy test at the start of this week (just stupidness and naivety thinking I was immune to pregnancy- will never make the same mistake again.) and knew almost straight away I can’t have this baby. This is really devastating to me and I’ve been very emotional about it all week but it’s just not an option with our financial and current living situation, as well as Covid. I’m 5 weeks and 1 day.

The only person I’ve talked to about it is my boyfriend, I can’t tell my parents as I’m scared they would kick us out, rightfully. So it feels weird to be typing it.

Anyway to get to the point, I had a phone consultation with a lovely midwife from BPAS on Wednesday evening and had my packet of pills delivered to my door yesterday morning- can’t fault them, they have been very gentle and non-judgemental which I’m thankful for. Took the first pill yesterday lunchtime and the second set at 3:30pm today, 4 hours ago, along with 30mg of codeine. So far I’ve had fairly bad cramping but nothing much worse than my worst period pains, no bleeding whatsoever.
I’ve just inserted the second lot of misoprostol about ten minutes ago. Feeling no pain whatsoever now. I’m worried that something hasn’t worked or I’ve done it wrong. Can someone please advise? I’m pretty scared and I don’t know what I’ll do if it doesn’t work.
Thanks x

OP posts:
CatteStreet · 20/06/2020 19:58

You'll need to wait a bit. The pain sounds about right, especially as you are so early. I havent had a termination, but I've had medical management of incomplete miscarriage and IIRC it didn't 'kick in' straight away even though I had already been bleeding. It 'worked' fine, in the sense that there was nothing left thereafter. There is the risk that it won't work, but I should think that would be a small one at your gestation, and even in the event you need a surgical procedure to complete things, I can tell you from four ERPCs that it's not as horrible as it sounds like it might be.

I'm sorry you feel you can't tell your parents. Why would they kick you out? There's certainly no 'rightfully' about it. I'm sure your contraception will be belt and braces from now on, but anyone can have a moment of madness or a contraception failure.

FWIW, I would very likely have done the same at your age and in your situation. Be prepared for some difficult emotions as things settle down hormonally, but don't let anyone talk you into guilt or lifelong regret and trauma.

Original poster
littleteapot77 · 20/06/2020 20:10

CatteStreet- Thank you so much for your response and kindness, I’m sorry for what you have been through. I think you’re right that I need to wait longer, I’ve just read so many posts online (I know I shouldn’t but can’t help it) saying pain and bleeding happen within four hours and I’m still not bleeding at 4.5 hours and 6 tablets so I panicked.
As for my parents, I know my mum would be supportive and it would be nice to have her in the know to be honest, it’s just the way my dad is he could go either way and she would definitely tell him. It’s been ok so far they just think I’ve got a stomach bug.
I’m working on Monday so I’ve got everything crossed this will go smoothly and I’ll be fine for then.

OP posts:
Original poster
littleteapot77 · 20/06/2020 22:33

Still nothing, no more pain and no bleeding at all. It’s now 7 hours since I took the 4 misoprostol and 3 hours since I took 2 more. I am really freaking out.

OP posts:
missrks · 20/06/2020 22:36

Oooh love. Please relax. I know its difficult. It can take some time to get into your system properly. Everyone is different. Try cozy up with a hot water bottle. Is boyfriend with you just now? You're totally safe, honestly don't worry. X

Original poster
littleteapot77 · 20/06/2020 22:39

@missrks
thank you. He is here but fallen asleep. I’ve convinced myself it’s not going to work and I’ll have to go to a clinic and have the surgery, I really don’t want to do that due to Covid and my parents would have to know. I did have bad pain but hours ago. I feel like crying for how stupid I’ve been.

OP posts:
missrks · 20/06/2020 22:45

You've not been stupid. It happens and it happens to so many of us. You've nothing to be ashamed about and nothing to be frightened of. I know it's so difficult but try your hardest to stay calm. Getting yourself in a tizzy won't help things. Have you had some water? Can you have a little wander in your garden or anything? Just say you'd like some fresh air?

Gunpowder · 20/06/2020 22:49

You aren’t stupid. Loads of women have unwanted pregnancies. (Isn’t it 1 in 3 women?) Anyway you have owned it and you have made the best choice you can for you at this moment. Flowers It was really brave. Don’t beat yourself up.

Have you got a leaflet explaining what should happen/what to do?

Original poster
littleteapot77 · 20/06/2020 23:05

Thank you both Flowers
It says if there’s no bleeding for 24 hours then to contact them, I’m just terrified of what they’ll say. I got up and got a drink and feel a little bit better but still no sign of anything happening. I can’t see anything of anyone having this same experience without it ending in failure... I’m having extremely mild stomach pain but nothing I would even normally think about.

OP posts:
autumnhare · 20/06/2020 23:17

Hi just wanted to add my expedience. I had a medical abortion a few years ago and experienced similar. I had the last pills at about 11am and nothing really started happening until a lot later that night and even then I didn't experience very heavy bleeding, not much more than a normal period for me. I was convinced something had gone wrong. But it hadn't and it just took time. Try not to worry and don't be down on yourself, women have all sorts of reasons for terminating.

Gunpowder · 20/06/2020 23:18

Can you put an enormous pad on and lie on a towel in bed and watch something silly on tv or Netflix to take your mind off things? Hopefully you will get a bit of sleep and that will help you deal with tomorrow better - whether it’s the start of bleeding or calling and asking the BPAS midwife what to do next. Definitely worrying all night isn’t going to help (although I know it’s very hard not too.)

Gunpowder · 20/06/2020 23:19

To not too Blush

missrks · 20/06/2020 23:21

I really feel for you love. Try get some sleep if you can. If it's not started by the morning then phone them and explain the situation. If you don't feel like you can tell your parents then explain the situation to the nurse on the phone. I'm sure it won't come to that though. Think positive thoughts okay. Cozy up and try not think about it (easy for me to say!) will be thinking about you! It will all be over soon okay!

Original poster
littleteapot77 · 20/06/2020 23:36

@autumnhare thank you so much for sharing, that is really encouraging!

@Gunpowder @missrks - thank you for being so kind it’s really helping, I got myself in a state.

I’m going to try to get some sleep I think. I think I was expecting blood and pain at extreme levels due to all the reviews and things online so to not have that experience has thrown me. Nothing is ever simple! I will update in the morning either way but hoping for the best.

OP posts:
autumnhare · 21/06/2020 08:06

Hope you were able to get some sleep and rest and that things have started moving a bit more for you.

Original poster
littleteapot77 · 21/06/2020 08:50

Just an update, I did manage to get to sleep thankfully. However still no bleeding :(

OP posts:
ChardonnaysPetDragon · 21/06/2020 09:22

Leave it some time, but you must call if nothing has happened, the way they told you. There is no need to terrified of what they will say, they are there to support you.

Look up their website,

Original poster
littleteapot77 · 21/06/2020 09:28

I’ll call when it gets to 24 hours since I took the tablets. I’m just afraid they are going to say come in and then I’ll have to tell my parents.

OP posts:
CherryPavlova · 21/06/2020 09:42

You don’t have to tell your parents but they might be more understanding than you are imagining. It might help to have your mothers support.
If you really don’t want them to know, lie to them. Say it’s a possible ectopic.

autumnhare · 21/06/2020 09:55

Yes wait till 24 hours and then phone. Could you have a walk in the mean time, not too far from home to see if that helps.

Have your parents given any indication that they'd kick you out or be unsupportive with an unplanned pregnancy? They might surprise you and be a lot more understanding than you think.

Gunpowder · 21/06/2020 10:01

Glad you got a bit of sleep OP.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 21/06/2020 10:18

They might have to ask you to go in for a scan if nothing happens, because they will want to rule out an ectopic. It's incredibly important to do that.

Take care of yourself. It's your body and your parents might be much more understanding, but imperatively, it's your health.

Original poster
littleteapot77 · 21/06/2020 10:45

Hello, I just told my mum and she was very supportive :) she said she will help me if nothing happens. Thank you everyone this has been so nice to have. I honestly can’t see anything happening between now and 3:30 but still can hope.

OP posts:
missrks · 21/06/2020 10:48

Awhhhh pal. I bet you feel like a big weight has been lifted. It will all be okay. Mums have a way of surprising us sometimes. X

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 21/06/2020 10:55

Great news, it's lovely that you have your mum's support.

Good luck!

autumnhare · 21/06/2020 11:03

Really glad you have the support of your mum, that will be a big help and a weight off your mind.