Medical abortion- worried

[sunandrose]

I’ve had a couple of phone consultations and a scan. I’m currently 8 weeks.

I’ve got the tablets to take today but I’m just so scared. I’ve stupidly spent the morning Googling and am now worried about pain, heavy bleeding and want I will pass.

The nurse said that as I’ve given birth twice before, the last time 9 months ago, that my cervix should be softer and it might not be too painful.

I know it’s the right decision for us as a family but I’m absolutely terrified to take the tablet today.

Any advice or experiences would be greatfully received.

Thank you

@sunandrose I am so pleased the worst is over for you. I hope my experience next week is like yours.

Take care

@sunandrose hi I am looking to take my first tablet but I’m scared. How was it? X

@Girl2020 I was worried too but it was fine, no side effects at all.

I had mixed feelings about taking it as it seemed so final, it was the decision pretty much swallowed but I didn’t feel as upset or as bad as I thought I would.

Have you taken it? Good luck.

Here at anytime x

@sunandrose thank you for coming back to me, no I have not yet I got myself so worked up today trying to take it. But I need to tomorrow as I’m back in work on Monday. Just wish I could wash away this fear and get on with it x

@sunandrose it wouldn’t let me tag you before!

What times did you take yours? X

I'm in same position right now in weeks pregnant and got 3 kids already but terrorfied of the procedure :-( I cant have codene or ibuprofen so I'm a little worried I've had 3 vaginal labours no pain relief tho :-) xxx

Sorry 8 weeks pregnant.

I just wanted to add to this thread as it is one I read when I was weighing up what do do myself. I had a medical termination at 5 weeks 4 months ago. I was terrified based on stories I read online, but physically it was no really big deal at all. A heavy, clotty period. My only other symptom was the chills and shakes 8 hours after inserting the pills.

Emotionally and mentally it has been tough and I do regret it. I would urge anyone to give it time to sink in and think it through. Be sure because once you take that first pill, its too late to change your mind.

Hi- I've just found this (thank you OP).

I'm about to collect the tablets tomorrow and have been so nervous about everything. Its taken 3 weeks since my initial call, no scan offered, for an appointment to go and collect the pack, a horrendous phone consultation with questions that in the end made me feel like I'd done something wrong/ was doing something wrong.

I've 1 & 3 year old Dds, this was totally unplanned and unexpected (literally once with protection 2 months ago), I had so many problems with my last pregnancy it was a very scary EMCS at 35 weeks. My girls are my world, which has made this the sensible decision and the right one, but I'm now 9+ weeks and my minds in overload, I feel guilty, fearful, sad...my OH has been so matter of fact about it all it impossible to talk to him but I can't talk to anyone else.

I've seen this was posted a while ago, I hope your okay now op? I'm just looking for a handhold I think, I don't know, the pp have been really helpful-

I don't know, Rubay. It's such a huge decision - I think that's what you're feeling.

It seems like your reasoning is that you don't want to risk a traumatic/potentially scary/dangerous pregnancy. ? Maybe you should 110% explore the options for medical support during a pregnancy for you, to feel beyond certain that they can't reassure you it would be ok?

Because if it's the pregnancy you are afraid of, then it's not exactly that you don't want the child. And this could be very difficult for you psychologically, because you won't have the child ever.

To do your due diligence and so you can always tell yourself you did everything, I think you should have a chat with a doctor about your pregnancy fears. First. Then go from there.

@Rubay handhold here. I'm sorry you can't talk to your DH about this, it's a big one to go through without support.

Someone will be along soon who can give you some concrete advice, but I just wanted you to have a hand while you're waiting 💐

Thank you both -
Yes, the main reason is the one you mentioned @lunalulu , I think this is why my OH is so matter of fact, its not that he doesn't care but he has to be. In many situations this is a good thing, but I feel really emotional about it all now, its been building over the past week, the wait seriously hasn't helped. I've had terrible morning sickness, cravings, sore boobs, the works and now I actually feel pregnant its made it all so real where I was slightly disconnected before. If that makes any sense?

Its not the only factor, I've two LOs that I give my everything too, I can't imagine how I can add a newborn to very active (what will be) 2 & 3 year olds- we did go through it very thoroughly when we first found out, discussed possibilities both ways and this is the right decision but I can't help how I feel-

Valid points by pcar but equally, finances and time does matter. I chose to have an abortion 2 years ago and was really torn but we had 3 children and I wanted them to grow up to have opportunities and sadly, that takes money and time. Keeping the baby would have meant a definitely house move (couldn’t afford to) or living in really cramped bedrooms, a new car to fit 6 of us (couldn’t afford), another lot of childcare fees for me to work (couldn’t afford) and would have meant we still couldn’t do the holidays and have the experiences I wanted us to. My eldest was 10 at the time; my youngest was 6, so we had got to a point where we could do theme parks for example and wanted to go to Florida. I couldn’t have done that with a newborn and with my eldest being 10, we wouldn’t have had much more time to do these things.

Yes they get something extra from having siblings but we already had 3 and they valued their hobbies and their friends they made at these hobbies. Having had another baby, some of these hobbies and friendships would have had to end.

Although you will always love a child and your other children will no doubt love another sibling, that shouldn’t be the only consideration in my opinion. I’ve seen families have an extra child who had special needs and although you love them unconditionally, that changes the family dynamic forever and your other children don’t get the same attention anymore. Of course, your baby could be totally healthy but it’s still a consideration.

Only you know as a family what is right for your circumstances. Love can’t be the only important factor or we’d just keep on having children. Practicalities do have to come into things, so don’t feel guilty whatever you decide, as long as it’s right for you.

Hi, please don’t judge me as I feel guilt myself, I met my partner 6 months ago I fell completely in love with him and could imagine everything with him, just a month ago we decided in the future we would love a baby. I had my coil removed and said if it happens it happen, and it did really quick! I have just started university and I have a 10 year old daughter, I was happy to juggle all of this, the relationship with my now ex has turnt our awful, lied about money, drugs!! Started getting aggressive I broke up with him. I now massively regret this pregnancy I have booked for a termination but I am scared of taking these pills along with the guilt of wanting this and now I know my life will be hell with him as the father. I really need some support, my family don’t know how he is I have no one to speak to

I found out I was pregnant with my partner and was offered a medical abortion. I work in healthcare so like to thinks I'm pretty clued up. I read everything there is to read about how the two drugs, misoprostol and mifepristone, work. Anyway, I took the first drug which stops the pregnancy, had a fair bit of pain through the night. Then 24 hours later I took the second to expel the pregnancy along with some high-strength codeine. Nothing could prepare me for how horrifically painful the process has been. I don't have an infection (now confirmed) nor was it an ectopic pregnancy- just horrifically painful. After doing some research, some studies indicate that around 23% of women experience severe pain that they rate “as almost being as bad as it can be.” I can confirm this. While the lucky 77% of women have lesser pain, I really felt that the service I used to access the abortion didn't communicate this very well. I felt that all the material provided on the websites just states it would be like a heavier period with strong cramping... but I was completely incapacitated. And I've broken multiple bones before with even compound fractures (bones sticking out the skin), and this was more painful. Has anyone else experienced this level of pain, and if so, did you find you were supported or properly informed of the risk of this level of trauma? I am genuinely scared now of even having sex again let alone becoming pregnant.

Had one using pills quite recently.
I found the expelling of the pregnancy very comparable to labour including finding relief by rocking my hips and bearing down. I had taken more codeine than is recommended but I am glad that I did because without that it would have been bad enough to have me crying out.
But it was only four or five hours maybe six. If it had have lasted longer than that, it would have caused me difficulty.
But compare to twenty hour plus labour's with all that getting a quite large thing through a reasonably small crevice, well it was a walk in the park in comparison.

It is reassuring to know other people have experienced this. I haven't had any children yet and so don't have any comparison there. Did anyone or yourself experience ovary pain? When the cramping started (which for me was withing 25 minutes of dissolving the tablets on my gums), it was severe but mainly located in the womb area quite centrally. I had diarrhoea, sudden temperature almost fainted, and went grey and clammy. The pain and symptoms lasted from 9am-3pm, then brief respite, and then later on around 5pm, ovary pain kicked in like cramping in my sides, kind of like what a kidney infection feels like. I hope it's just all part of the process and not indicative of something more sinister? Ive had recent smear tests and scan showed up normal in the clinic. God being a woman can really suck. If a man walked into hospital saying he had 10/10 pain and felt like his insides were on fire and being pulled out... pretty sure they'd prescribe more than a few codeine and recommend ibuprofen. Fed up :(

I think that taking the pills by mouth, is not something I would have done, the whole idea of them making me vom or have diarrhea put me off that route but I totally understand why that is an option that should be available.
As to ovary pain, I get it quite a lot anyway (pcos) pretty sure I got some twinges in them during the expelling of the pregnancy but compared to the cramping it was minimal.

Thank you OP for sharing your experience. I am in a tricky situation and really never imagined myself in this position.

I am married and have been trying to separate for years and the past two year I have made it abundantly or tried to make it clear it is over and we need to sell the house. During this time I met someone and fell in love something I never felt before after being in a loveless and controlling marriage for years. I have a DD who is nearly 8 and is ASD. For her sake I have not moved her out of the house and have been begging him to sell it so I can move on. He just keeps pushing the date.

For the past 5 months I have been sleeping at night at my partners house as I just could not cope there anymore and going back early in the morning for my daughter.

I found out two days ago I am pregnant. I was so shocked but also full of dread knowing my situation and no one in my family knows. I was in such a state yesterday. With my DD I had HG which was horrendous. I need to be settled in a home with my partner so I have the support. Right now is just not the time. We had a good talk about it and feel this is the right decision. I am scared and wish I didn't have to go through this your post is helping me in a time where I am terrified.

@Rubay how did you get on? I've just been through the medical over Christmas I know what you mean OH being so matter of fact if you want someone to talk to I'm here x