I can’t decide if I should terminate or not... HELP

[Pizza1997]

So I am pregnant, and one second I am completely sure I should have a termination the next I want the baby I'm worried that whichever choice I make I’ll regret and feel I should of chose differently!

A little background me and my fiancé have been together about 3 years, We both have good jobs, we do live together in a rented a house and have done for for around 6 months.
I guess on paper it seems like a good time to have a baby, apart from us not being married, we do usually have a pretty good relationship, apart from I really don’t get along with his family and sometimes that can effect us and cause an argument and when we do argue these arguments are really explosive.
When I found out I was pregnant I was so shocked and when I told my fiancé, his first reaction was "I'm not ready for a baby, we can't do this’’ he since then has said he’s 100% sure he does not want to have a baby yet, But he has said He would support me either way in whatever I decide and I know it is my decision, but I guess I would feel bad about forcing him into something he doesn’t want. And I'm not even fully sure that I want the baby either. My mind is just so split.
I'm not sure I want to be tied to him with a baby for the rest of my life.
If I do have the baby I would feel so bad and guilty that this has been such a negative start and it wasn't happy news, and I would have to bring the child up knowing I wasn’t sure if It was wanted.
Has anyone been in a similar situation and can advise on how they made a choice?
I've never been this confused about anything in my life.

Hi OP. I think once you tell him what you want to do, he will come round to the idea. It sounds like you're leaning slightly towards keeping the baby but you're just unsure.

I don't think anyone ever truly regrets having a baby. Sure there's tough times but I don't think most women ever look at their child and think they wish they never had them.

It doesn't really matter if you were trying or not, using protection or not. Reality is always way scarier than theory. So in theory you both decided if it happens then that will be good but reality has hit now and he has shit himself and you're almost touching cloth! It's totally normal OP. You're early, a termination wouldn't be sinister at this point. However, if you decide to keep the baby, I think that your partner will get used to the idea and he will be ok and supportive. It's unknown right now and you can't prepare. As soon as you prepare for what you are going to do, everything will fall into place and probably (if you keep the baby) excitement will start

7salmonswimming Well thats calling a fecking spade a spade isnt it?.

Not everyone lives such logical well ordered lives you know!.

A lot of people here will ask for such an opinion and advice as they are more lileky to know more online these days !.

And that in my opinion isnt such a bad thing!.

And FWIW been involved in two termintaions whuih I very much regret happening they weren't my choice and these days rather pro life!...

I am absolutely not allowing ‘strangers on the internet’ to decide anything at all for me. I am reaching out for a little advice as no one in my life has been in a similar situation! It’s nice to be able to hear and relate to other people’s experiences and there is nothing wrong with doing that. I appreciate the input but if you don’t have anything nice to say it would be preferred if you kept that to yourself

Yap-
I think I am slightly leaning towards that option to, and I really don’t doubt his support he’s a good guy, but I just feel like it’s a choice we should be making together not one I’m now kind of left to make and your right it’s the unknown which I can’t prepare for which is even worse I just need to really make my mind up just struggling with that hopefully the counselling helps!
And just a boy I really feel for you, did you terminate for a similar reason if you don’t mind me asking?
Thanks a lot for all your replies it really is helping me so much knowing people have delt with something similar x

Check your PM's please Pizza 1997

Sorry but do really think asking a group of strangers on here is the best way to make a choice about keeping your baby ?
Go and talk to someone professional please op .

I appreciate your input tinkerbell but I have got an appoiment to talk to a professional. Asking these ‘strangers’ is not making my choice for me, its helping me get knowledge and advice on other people’s similar situation which through a hard time is confronting.

OP every situation is different. I have two children and am a single mum. The second child wasnt really wanted by the dad, though he loves her now. I was on my own for the pregnancy and ever since, her dad does look after her one day a week. It has been hard, I work full time and looking after a baby on your own is hard work and very tiring.

Last year I unexpectedly found myself pregnant with a new boyfriend. I ended up having a medical termination. That was also hard, but I wouldn't have been able to cope and my existing children would have suffered, the dad also put a lot of pressure on me to end the pregnancy.

I do think I have suffered a lot mentally since the abortion. I think I would also have struggled a lot if I had continued the pregnancy. Sorry for being quite negative, this has been my experience. You have to make the right decision for you, dont be influenced by others, imagine life as a single parent if you think your relationship may not last, would you feel ok with that?

I hope it works out for you, either way