Hello,
I need to share my story and see if anyone can offer some advice, without judgement if possible.
I'm a married woman, with 5 beautiful children, all by my husband. We both work, have our own businesses, own our home, manage a couple of holidays a year for the kids. I had (what I thought) was my final baby boy last November, he's a dream baby and the others adore him. They are 13, 10, 4, 2 and 10 months. We cope ok with the big family, some days are harder than others but there's a lot of love. We decided we were complete and my husband had the snip in June of this year. In August I found out I was pregnant, and I felt adamant I wasn't able to afford or fit another baby into the equation.
I booked a temrnination at Marie Stopes, went the following week, had a scan which showed I was 5 weeks 6 days. The nurse was so uncaring, so cold, I hated every minute. She gave me a pill to take to end the pregnancy, then told me to go behind a screen and place 4 tablets into my cervix to bring it out (her words). I did as was required, walked out of the clinic and felt horrendous. So I ran to the public toilet next door and threw up everything, and took the tablets out. I've not told anyone this. It's been a week since, and I've had a lot of pains but no bleeding. I'm due to go back tomorrow for a check up, and they will repeat the process if it didn't work the first time. I just feel sad when I think of aborting it, but I feel upset when I think of continuing. I may already have song untold damage to the baby anyway. The tablet was in my system for 10 minutes. Guess I'm just looking for someone to say something that might help me a little. I haven't told anyone except my husband, he hasn't really supported me keeping it but doesn't know I removed the pills 