Totally torn over keep or terminate

[JustAnotherMummyX2]

First time poster, hope I'm doing this right...

So I found out 10 days ago the I was 6 weeks gone with my 3rd.

Completely unplanned, and if I'm honest, never wanted... a 48hr sickness bug must of messed up my pill.

Myself and my husband and been together 9 years and have two girls age 2 & 4, he also has 3 children from a previous marriage aged from 11 - 15.

We live in a lovely little farm cottage, but little is exactly what it is.

Two bedrooms up stairs and a very small bedroom down stairs.

We have his children every other weekend and for also everyday of every school holiday; 6 weeks over the summer, 2 weeks for Easter, 2 weeks for Christmas and all the half terms.

We cope fine now, the 3 girls are in a room up stairs in bunks and a cot, we are planning on having a 3 story bunk built into the room to include storage.
But the oldest is 13 now and I feel it's unfair to share with two little ones let alone another.

The boys are downstairs in a small single with bunks and not much room for anything else. Again this works fine as they aren't here 'full time'.

We have a 7 seater car, again... 7 of us, if we have another there will be 8!!

I'm torn, my husband is completely against me having a termination and says if we will cope just fine.

My heart is wanting me to keep it, but my head is all about the practicality.

We can't move, my husband works on the farm, I do 3 mornings cleaning just down the road (which is good, needed money) and my family are around 24/7 should we need a hand.

Is it fair on my husbands daughter to share with another... what if it's a boy?

I don't want to talk to my family incase I decide to terminate.

Any advice is much appreciated

I don’t like it when people say you never regret a baby. I disagree, I think some do. And some don't regret abortions.

Personally I would rather regret an abortion than regret having a child. In difficult times with DS I have the occasional moment of regret and it’s an awful feeling, I would hate to feel it often.

I've been there in a different order (if that makes sense). I only have 2 children and I have never regretted my choice. The only thing I can say with certainty is that I never doubted myself at the time. I was never emotional about it. Perhaps your doubt and emotion are a sign that a termination is not the right choice for you? I hope you find the right way forward for you. Take any help offered by your GP and other medical professionals.

Hi, I posted earlier but people suggested it was too late. Everyone said to me before I terminated that it was my decision and they couldn't tell me either way but I wish someone had said this to me - from my experience, it is much more emotionally traumatic than people say and I still feel an awful lot for the little life that was inside me. I don't want to offend anyone it's just that after it happened I felt/realised that the questions I asked myself 'what will my life be like / will I cope?' were not as important as the bb.

Justanother... I went through this recently and found it hard , in my panic and indecision, not to give too much weight to other people's comments and advice...when everyone has their own agenda . ultimately it's a decision only YOU can make. I have 5 DC and so I couldn't justify to myself getting rid of DC6 when I don't think its presence will make a whole lot of difference to my life! But that was MY view on MY situation. My wider family are still appalled and it's upsetting - even though I know it's not from nastiness, they just feel it's too much for me . But I couldn't let their views make the decision.
I'm not anti abortion it just wasn't right for me at this time. counselling sounds like a great idea to get to the heart of what YOU want (and can cope with).
Good luck with whatever you decide. Good luck reaching a decision.
Kxx

And Minnie I hope you are ok.
I too had an abortion, in my case many years ago, pre husband etc. It is something I can never forget. Even though I wasn't in any position to have a baby then and I did feel relief at the time. It's hard. So I agree with your comment that you don't know how you'll feel afterwards.
Kxx

Sorry you find yourself in this position op, it is so so difficult.

I had a termination just over a month ago at 6 weeks pregnant. It was heart wrenching. I wanted the baby but the circumstances were just not right, a real head over heart situation.

The days after the abortion were horrible but I'm slowly coming out the other side now. The hormone crash proved tough for me but after a couple of weeks it began to lift.

I hope your other half is supporting you through this. Best wishes

Sorry you find yourself in this position, I don't judge you at all for seeking a termination.