Pregnancy soon after termination.

[Topaz89]

Is it possible to fall pregnant just a few months after having a medical termination?
I'm just wondering what other people's experiences are of this?

Yes it is

Topaz I remember some of your other threads - please do seek help from a medical professional. You need to work on your mental health, not on getting pregnant. It really isn’t the answer.

If you're 28, you have very little rational cause for concern.

This is all about you fixating. Please be kind to yourself and get professional counselling to address the fixation.

Was your abortion provided by Marie Stopes? Do you have contact details for follow up services?

It was provided by Marie Stopes, yes.
I have had counselling from them over the phone but all of my sessions have ran out now and I am getting face counselling elsewhere. It will be my second session next week. That one is free of charge and they seem OK.
I know a brilliant counsellor and I have been to see her twice now but it is £40 per session and I just can't justify paying it. She's very keen on helping me but the cost bothers me.

A decent course of counselling is probably exactly what you do need.

Does that counsellor not offer discounts or a sliding scale?

You can get a discount if you buy them in blocks. She's very good.
I find with counselling though, that I feel good when I leave after having that talk, but within a day or so I feel bad again. So it makes me feel like it's pointless.

In this situation, I really do think that trying to get pregnant isn’t in your best interests. You need to work through your issues first. Another baby will never replace the baby you terminated. It kills me knowing it’s likely my termination has meant I can no longer have another child, it really does. But in the event that I WAS able to go on and have another baby, it would never mask the feeling of loss and sadness over the baby I should have had. I agree with others that you should maybe seek some support to help with your emotions before you go rushing into another pregnancy. Best of luck to you

It kills me that I got rid of my own child These 3 started off as a "blob" and now they are 3 happy, beautiful children. I mean what if I'd have done the same to any of them? It really scares when I think of it like that. My 2 year old just came up to me and "Mummy I love you". The one I killed will never get to say that and I will never get to say it back. 😢

You haven't "killed" anyone or anything Topaz.

Topaz - i feel a bit bad for my previous comments now. I don't think you have come to terms with your termination yet and I think you should before another pregnancy.

Underparmummy Please don't feel bad. It's nice to know people's experiences. x

Topaz feel free to pm me if you like. I’m very much not over my termination but I have learned to live with it so could maybe help you a bit. Please don’t be so hard on yourself

Thank you Bubblegum. PM'd you x

I know this is very long time ago hope you don't mind me reaching out im in the exact same situation here. Hate myself so much wonder how you got on

Hey Maha20
So sorry to hear about what you’re going through. You can reach out to me any time

I normally use MN under a different username these days, but I saw this thread (without realising it would be mine) and I didn’t want to read and run. It feels only yesterday I was in that dark place.

My beautiful daughter was born in September 2018 She’s a thriving 2 year old now and loved so dearly by everyone around her. I can’t imagine life without her now.

PM for a chat about things if you need some
support. I’m only a message away.

@Maha20

Hey, I had a termination 5 days ago and feel awful and regret it so much. Might be nice to chat?

I'm not sure how to private message so please feel free to message me first!

Hi Topaz89, I read your post about having a termination and then getting pregnant again... I had a termination in September 2020 and I am about 6 months out and deeply regret it. It is so painful. I am thinking of trying again. I am wondering how your pregnancy after the termination went and how you handled it all? Did you feel better? My biggest fear is going thru all the same worries again and being in the same situation (I would never terminate again but want to be mentally healthy for pregnancy). I just need to hear from people who have been in similar shoes. Thanks so much!

I am in the same boat. The panic of a third child got to us, and everything we were told was normalizing our choices. No one talks about the devastation unless you dig or go to pro-life sites. We are now devastated, all our reasons are so stupid and small now. I want to have our third child, and gives my kids their sibling. I too feel that I won't heal without this. But worry about feeling more regret and grief for "why not that child? Why this one?" . I've never wanted to half ass anything, and knowing I wasn't sure about the baby ate me up while I was pregnant, and now know I'd be only happy and so excited to entire time. How did you handle your pregnancy topaz89? I'm so happy for you though.

@MrsOV

I am in the same boat. The panic of a third child got to us, and everything we were told was normalizing our choices. No one talks about the devastation unless you dig or go to pro-life sites. We are now devastated, all our reasons are so stupid and small now. I want to have our third child, and gives my kids their sibling. I too feel that I won't heal without this. But worry about feeling more regret and grief for "why not that child? Why this one?" . I've never wanted to half ass anything, and knowing I wasn't sure about the baby ate me up while I was pregnant, and now know I'd be only happy and so excited to entire time. How did you handle your pregnancy topaz89? I'm so happy for you though.

@Topaz89 i forgot to tag you in my original post. Any look backs post abortion, and getting pregnant, and feelings during that pregnancy and after the birth would be great. I am essentially in the same boat, with my feelings and what i now know i really want and can handle. it's so awful, feeling like before the termination, i couldn't even handle the two wonderful kids i have now, and how would i manage a third one? and ever since, i've had a whole new perspective on what i've been given in this life, which is awful to say because i was already so thankful for everything.

Sorry to resurrect this thread, I did start my own but no replies as yet. I had a termination in June for several practical reasons, we had always wanted to TTC around now if everything was 'right', and now it is. If only I had known in June that everything was going to work out just fine :( DH really wants to TTC now and feels 'ready' but I'm not sure. I feel like a terrible person for considering TTC when I willingly let my pregnancy go back in June. I am 36 now though so don't have lots of time to delay. Is there anyone still around who was on this thread before?

@scaredandanxious01 it is so hard. I have my girl now, she's 10 months old. We went for it soon after the termination, after a lot of crying, soul searching, therapy, discussions, etc. Best decision we ever made. Every day I still wonder about my baby, and miss her (we knew gender before termination), but I also am so happy and in awe of the precious life I was given and have been able to hold in my arms. Human emotions are so hard and suck, I'll be honest. I'm happy and feel guilty, and miss baby and feel guilty. I just try to learn from my mistakes, and learn from the reasons that made the decision in the first place. Some days are harder than others, and queue emotions and guilt (again). There's no easy way out of this. I miss her, but am also so happy with life now. I regret my decision, but not the life I get to hold.

I had a termination one June and then was pregnant again in the Jan. That baby is now 8 years old and totally amazing. I still think that we chose the correct path, even though the timings seem odd when you relay the story.
I did (messily) come to terms with my abortion though before ttc again.
Reproduction, like most things in life is not a perfect fairytale, there are ups and downs and horrible dark bits.
One of my deciding factors on my abortion was reading on here from someone who had said she wanted all her kids to be really planned and wanted. That resonated with me and helped both of my decisions.

@Underparmummy thank you so much for sharing your story too. It really helps to read other peoples experiences with this. I really resonate with the wanting all your children to be planned and very much wanted. I do think to how I’d be feeling now if I had continued and honestly it would have been so immensely stressful, even now. We really want to TTC ASAP, we nearly did this month but I chickened out. I’m hoping I feel ready in January’s cycle to actually try.

Hello, I know this is a old thread but just wondering if you manage to conceive? How are you doing now ?