Pregnant from an abusive man - I broke up. But don't know if I should have it or not. Please help.

[chirimoya]

So, I just fought hard to get out of a very physically & psychologically & economically abusive relationship. I literally had to run away from him.

We did it over a year with the pullout method and nothing ever happened - so I trusted him. In the last month we had horrible fights and I repeatedly said to him that I will leave. He knew it was just a matter of time until I would. Surprise surprise I'm now pregnant! Of course, I have my share in this too - don't want to completely give him the fault but I have read that abusive men often try to get you pregnant to keep you in the relationship. I lied to him and said I got my period and he reacted with a very annoyed and disappointed face. So he definitely planned this. But he has no clue I am pregnant.

I left last Tuesday and have a chat with abortion services tomorrow morning. However, I started having some doubts. But this is my situation:

• I am orphan adult -> no parents / no family - so will have NO support whatsoever. I will have to do this completely on my own
• Unstable income. But at least I have a job I can do from home.
• and my biggest problem is that I think I wouldn't be able to really take the opportunity away of the child meeting his dad & family one day (i think i would not feel comfortable knowing I have taken the choice away from the child), considering I have none. But I just have a feeling that I'll forever have problems because he will do everything to be in that kids life (he absolutely adores children...and yet he is an irresponsable ex-drug addict, alcoholic, abusive lier and a looser and absolutely NOT fit to be a father whatsoever) and potentially even try to get it away from me...just sense as soon as he knows it'll be a nightmare!
• I'm 32. I feel like I'm almost too old to consider an abortion....just started getting those doubts in my mind.

I don't want to go back to him and I won't. So the question really is whether it would be best to abort or to raise this kid as a single mum.

I know essentially it's my choice...but i would appreciate some help.

Thank you!! Merry Christmas!

I think you're doing the right thing.
You'll forever be tied to the brute otherwise.
Soon you'll be starting a new life, one he'll never be able to harm again.
Be proud.

I know it’s easy to say but I wouldn’t feel guilt. You know you’re protecting this child from years of abuse and damage and are absolutely doing the right thing. If you ever feel guilt think how brave and strong you’ve been to get away from this awful man and how you haven’t inflicted him on a child.

Hi just wondering what you decided.Also have you gone on to have councillors and met someone else to have a baby?