Failed abortion

[roastandyorkies]

I found out I was pregnant at the end of June. Unplanned. Spoke to DP and he was keen for me to Have an abortion. I was more unsure. I am already a single parent. DS is not DP's child. To cut a long story short I agreed I would have an abortion as I know how hard it can be as a single parent. My DS is 8 so there would be little common ground between him and the baby.

I went for a medical abortion and took the tablets at just over 8 weeks. However it has failed. I am still pregnant and booked in for a surgical procedure next week.

DP is however "unable" to come so I am facing having this procedure with just the local anaesthetic as there is nobody else I can tell or get to come with me and I can't have any sedation if I've got nobody to take me home.

Has anyone been through this before. Any positive stories? I'm terrified and thinking of just not going ahead with it.

Oh roast that sounds horrendous. I'm so sorry you're going through this without support, reading your previous posts you did sound very anxious (understandably) about going it alone. You shouldn't have to. I don't think I could cope with a surgical abortion under local anaesthetic so I totally understand why you left. It's not something you need to be putting yourself through although I understand it leaves you back at square one.

I know this is a stupid question probably but is there really nobody at all who could come and support you, drive you home? You sound very isolated. Could you reach out to someone you wouldn't usually ask, a sympathetic colleague at work even? I know it's not the same as your partner or someone close but you need support. If someone asked me that I'd be there without question, it's just not something you do on your own. Sending huge hugs .

I've told him. He's gone ballistic at me. Even though he earlier admitted he wouldn't have snip without anaesthetic yet expects me to do this

I think I'm going to have to tell my mum and hope she supports me. I don't really have a choice. I would also be there in a heartbeat if anyone asked me to support them through this. I just thought I could do it alone. I don't want to admit to it.

OP

I had a medical abortion. Didn't bleed too much. Did a few weeks later, huge huge clots, pints lost.

Went to walk in centre, sent to a&e. They were incredible. Had double blood transfusion (had lost so much blood over two weeks by this point, putting me at around 10 weeks) and then they put me under general anaesthetic and performed the small operation.

I had a full medical team and my partner. Can you get support from someone? I was pretty shaken up and weak after.

I wish you the best xxx

Roast definitely tell your mum. Why don't you want to admit to it? You've not done anything wrong, at all. Don't 'punish' yourself with an ordeal...be kinder to yourself. Even if your mum isn't the most supportive (and hopefully she is), at least you can have it done under GA which will be easier for you.

I don't want to make your partner the focus of this as that's maybe for another time when you're feeling stronger but you deserve a hundred times better than someone who treats you like this when you're vulnerable

Thinking of you. Xx

Well I've told my mum and she is going to accompany me to the clinic near her just after the bank holiday so that I can be sedated for the procedure.

It's a waiting game now. Got to try and push it to the back of my mind. I've got the week off with my son next week so I must enjoy that.

Feel a lot better for sharing. Thank you all for your support and understanding x

That's good roast, really glad your mum is helping and hope everything goes ok. Enjoy your week with your DS and look after yourself .

Is it normal to test positive 4 weeks after? The lines are strong, I dont have any pregnancy signs anymore.....any advice?

I tested positive after two weeks and bpas had me back in the next day where a scan showed the medical hadn't worked. That was just my experience though xx

Hummm I am a tad worried, I dont feel pregnant anymore, im more worried about something left behind and getting infected. I have no idea what to do? I wont be able to see a GP until monday.

Can you ring whoever treated you for advice? I rang bpas after treatment line who told me to ring the clinic for an appointment. I was seeing the gp that afternoon anyway and she thought it would just be a bit of tissue but it needs a scan to check.

Bpas gave me an appointment for the next day which did show the baby was still there but I did still feel very pregnant. Hope you can be easily sorted xx

I tested again today and its fading off, I dont feel ill or pregnant, I will try again at the end of the week, I cant even think how hard it is to do this process twice. :( x thank u for ur reply, did things work out for you in the end? X sorry I didnt mean to be rude and jump on the thread, I disnt see the last comments as I am using my phone.

I had the surgical abortion on the second attempt. Regret it like fuck but can't turn the clock back now.

Glad your line is fading that is hopeful xx

:( its a very hard choice to make, I have regret too but there is no turning back, its done, I was hoping it wouldnt work but the risks after taking the pill are heartbreaking also. :( I hope u recover emotionally, dont be hard on yourself. Xxxx

for you Op and for the other women here who have had to go through this.

Please give yourselves time to heal both physically and mentally.

Thank you. Xx

I have retained products, it looks like the baby sac :( I will know more during the week. This is all so heartbreaking. Wish I didnt do this. :( x

Sorry to hear that misslost. Have you found out what your next steps are yet?? Xxx

I had a second dose of tablets, I hadnt passed the pregnancy, but the baby had passed away, although my body was still trying to grow it, I passed her yesterday. I want to keep her somewhere safe.

I'm really sorry to hear that @misslost it sounds really tough on you and I hope you have someone in real life to support you through this xx it sucks 💔 x

Not really, I am alone a lot, my family are very religious, I cant talk about it. feeling very ill from this all. Emotionally drained, its been going on a such a long time. I have to repeat pregnancy tests again...so its not all over.....hopfully this is the end and I can try and heal. x thanks for the reply. X

Hi roast and mislost I've just seen your posts. Sympathies to you both - you've had a rough old time. I also tested positive for pregnancy 3 weeks after taking tablets for medical abortion. I went back in and they did bloods and a scan. No baby but HCG levels were super high, indicating a potential molar pg. I had to have blood tests every 48 hours for 2 weeks to track the HCG levels and they tried to get me to take methotrexate (a chemo drug) in case it was a molar. The blood tests dropped down to once a week for another month, then once a month, until finally my HCG levels were normal. I had no retained products and no infection.

Until the point of testing positive again, I'd put the abortion behind me more or less. But I then had to live through the real trauma of either having a molar pg (which can develop into a cancer), discovery that the embryo had been perfect (they did a biopsy on the product I passed to check if it was molar), constant blood tests and the very real regret that I'd aborted in the first place. I can't tell you how much this whole thing fucked me up. It's been 2 years since my abortion and I still think about it pretty much every day. I do hope you both recover well and don't feel too traumatised. For most people, abortion is quick and straightforward. But when things go wrong, it is easy to feel completely derailed by it. Sending hugs.

Thank you for sharing. Yes, it is awful, an awful experience, one I wish I never did, I think I am healing physically, emotionally......i have no idea. No one in real life talks about such subjects and women wont speak up in fear of being judged, so u have to keep your feelings all inside. :( xxxx we think we are doing our best, I only wish I had more support, I dont think I would have done what I did if I had more support in my life from my family, but I cant blame anyone else. thank u again for sharing ur experience, iys not easy

@roastandyorkies hy I know it's been a long Time sorry to take you back I'would really appreciate if you respond to my question.

Trust that you are well..... Honey after having medical termination you saying it failed......... My question is after a month did you have periods or spotting and was your bleeding heavy?? DID YOU HAVE CRAMPS?