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Pregnancy choices

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

Original poster

No missed pills but looks like I'm pregnant...

41 replies

AnonEeeMouse · 17/07/2017 16:01

Sounds ridiculous but I really can't think of anything I could have done wrong.

I always take my pill like clockwork. Was on it years pre dc and never had a problem. Came off it, got pregnant first month with dc. Went back on it 15 months no issues and now it looks like I'm pregnant.

I really don't want to be and am so angry at myself yet I haven't done anything wrong. I did have anti biotics and was Ill a few months ago but that would be too long ago to have caused this. I cannot honestly think of any reason why it has happened.

I'm devastated as this couldn't have come at a worse time. Dc is still small, we have huge nursery bills and couldn't afford to send another one there so id have to give up my job which I love and have just had a promotion.

I know I have to have a termination but I'm terrified I don't even know what to do first?

I've read about my options and I think I want a surgical termination because I couldn't face the medical. I don't even know how pregnant I am because I ran two packs of pills to avoid a period last month so I could be 2 weeks up to 8 weeks. The test line was v light so I suppose i can't be that far along.

I just feel devasted and then guilty for being devastated. I never ever thought I'd be in this position as I am so careful.

Can anyone offer me any advice or a shoulder to cry on?

OP posts:
Original poster
AnonEeeMouse · 17/07/2017 18:37

Anyone? :(

OP posts:
HopefulHamster · 17/07/2017 18:39

Big hugs, it must be a lot to process. You could do with finding out how far long you are, in case the antibs were a factor. Do you have support around you?

PotteringAlong · 17/07/2017 18:43

You haven't done anything wrong; all contraception has a failure rate.

Have you spoken to your DH/DP?

You need to go to see your Dr and ask fora referral or google Marie stopes for your local clinic and make an appointment. They will scan you to find out how far along you are.

Original poster
AnonEeeMouse · 17/07/2017 18:53

Thank you. I know when my last period was but like I say I ran two packs of pills so I should have had another since then but didn't on purpose iyswim. But then they say you can have a period on the pill if you're pregnant anyway can't you so potentially further than I think. I don't physically look any different and I've only noticed symptoms for the last week or so - exactly the same as with dc so that makes me think I'm still early on. I hope.

That's true pottering you just don't expect to be the 2% I suppose!

I've spoken to dp but because the line is faint he doesn't even believe I'm pregnant yet so he's no use nor bloody ornament at the minute. I have a digital test to do tomorrow morning.

I'm ill as well coincidentally so probably be off work tomorrow so will have opportunity to go to doctors if the digital test confirms.

I wouldn't want to see the scan I don't think. I remember 6 week scan with dc it was just a blob but I don't want to start getting sentimental and attached when in reality having a baby would be the worse decision I could make for all of us right now.

OP posts:
user1475002412 · 17/07/2017 23:12

You poor thing. Its an awful situation to be in. I think regardless of how faint a test line is, if its positive then you are pregnant. How are you feeling? Will you test again?

Original poster
AnonEeeMouse · 18/07/2017 07:01

Yes I'm pretty sure it's positive but I wish it wasnt. Yes I have a digital test to take this morning.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnonEeeMouse · 18/07/2017 07:03

I feel awful but I'm poorly. Been rushing to the loo the last 3 days. Don't know whether it's preg related but I don't think it is as I had something similar a few months back. Nobody else is Ill though and I'm worried that there is something more serious going on but the doctors won't take met seriously at all.

Just when you think things are going right for you.....

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Ladyvird135 · 18/07/2017 07:08

I had the same thing happen when I was in uni. Strict on the pill, but these things do fail. I had a termination but of course noone can tell you what's best for you. If you do decide to terminate, get it sorted ASAP as then you won't need surgical option. I went through BPAS and they were great, realty supportive.

Hemlock2013 · 18/07/2017 07:08

Morning, it's a horrid situation. I really sympathise.

Just thought I would let you know my recent experience. I self referred with Marie stopes so no need for gp. I opted for medical as you could get one quicker and I needed it done asap. Went for two appointments, very straight forward. The actual thing was fine. I was so worried but it happened quickly and was not in the least traumatic. I was just six weeks so that may have helped.

They don't show you the scan either.

It's early days for you now so just take some time to decide what you want to do. Ring Marie stopes and get the ball rolling, you can always cancel and they offer councilling 24/7 so you have a neutral ear to talk to.

Have you done the digital test yet? X

Original poster
AnonEeeMouse · 18/07/2017 07:28

No not yet. The plan was to do it this morning but I had to rush to the loo at 5am poorly so I never did it! I'm going to do it after I've taken dc to nursery. (I don't think what I've got is contagious as I've had it 3 days and nobody else in the house has had it. Or we all have impeccable hand hygiene! Doubtful as dc is 1!)

I know that I will have to have a termination as having another baby would put us in an awful position and it wouldn't be fair on the dc we have or a new dc. It would mean giving up a lot and having a lot less than we do now and it wouldn't make any sense. Doesn't make it any less sad though.

I don't know whether to go medical or surgical. I've heard so many horror stories about medical and I don't know whether surgical would be better so it was just over in a day?

I think there is a marie stopes in the next town and I would rather avoid going to the doctors if I can as it's all locums and mostly men and I don't think I'd feel at all comfortable talking about it with a man I don't know however irrational that is.

OP posts:
Hemlock2013 · 18/07/2017 07:32

I heard lots of horror stories too but honestly it was a non event for me... I had a nap, woke up, went to the loo and it was done. No pain or anything.

x

Lolalovespugs · 18/07/2017 07:49

I just had a medical. It was fine. You don't need a GP you just need your NHS number and ring them and self refer.

I went through BPAS only because if you are under 9 weeks they give you all the pills in the same visit and I don't think Marie Stopes have the same policy. I didn't want to be taking any more time out of work than I had too and wanted it done - I was in and out in about 3 hours. Bleeding started 4 hrs later, no worse than a period and I didn't have any pain really.

I'm 4 weeks in now and emotionally absolutely fine, I knew it wasn't right for my little family and was the right decision.

Original poster
AnonEeeMouse · 18/07/2017 08:34

I just don't know what to do. I suppose practically a medical seems like the better option but I'm just not sure I can face it.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnonEeeMouse · 18/07/2017 08:43

I'm scared of it all. I'm scared of the pain, and not being in control (absolutely detested giving birth for that reason) but I'm also scared of having a surgical procedure. I've never had a GA yet I don't think I want it without one.

I can't get my head straight. I haven't done the digital test yet but I know what it's going to say :(

OP posts:
whatpardonwhat · 18/07/2017 08:46

Sending a handhold Flowers

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 18/07/2017 08:49

Big hugs.
I mean this very gently, just do the digital test then you can stop torturing yourself with what ifs and deal with what is.
Good luck x

Original poster
AnonEeeMouse · 18/07/2017 08:50

I've only not done it because I don't need a wee yet I will do it soon I promise! But you're right at least I'll have a definitive answer. X

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AceholeRimmer · 18/07/2017 09:07

I just wanted to say OP that I have had a few medical terminations and they were fine, I just laid in bed all evening with a wheat bag and painkillers and it was like a slightly worse period pain. Just my experience. Good luck whatever you decide Flowers

Original poster
AnonEeeMouse · 18/07/2017 09:19

Thanks ace

I've just done a digital test and it says not pregnant

I'm completely confused now.

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TheHodgeoftheHedge · 18/07/2017 09:30

Congrats on the negative I think?!

Original poster
AnonEeeMouse · 18/07/2017 09:58

Yes! But I'm not sure I believe it. Dp thinks I'm insane! This is the first one....

Might do another first thing tomorrow morning..?

No missed pills but looks like I'm pregnant...
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Original poster
AnonEeeMouse · 18/07/2017 10:00

I really really WANT the digital to be right but I can clearly see a line on that one. Could it be evap? I don't even know what one looks like. I got pregnant first try with dc...

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AceholeRimmer · 18/07/2017 10:34

It looks very faint OP, I would trust the digital to be more accurate.

Original poster
AnonEeeMouse · 18/07/2017 10:43

Would you? Oh god I hope you're right. Dp is going to get me a couple more non digital tests so I can do another and compare if you like.

OP posts:
Lolalovespugs · 18/07/2017 11:43

I'm sorry but that is a positive, the digital will take longer to show up as it's notoriously less sensitive.