Pregnant. He wants to abort but I don't think I do

[Bethanaevans2016]

I was wondering if anyone had any experience or advice regarding my predicament.

I do not have any children but have found out I'm 8/9 weeks pregnant. This was unexpected and a shock to my bf and I. He has children from a previous relationship.

He has been 100% clear that he'd wants me to have a termination. He thinks having a child will be disastrous for our relationship, presumably because he doesn't want to be a Father again.

I don't think I could go through a termination. I feel that I am old and responsible enough to support a child, on my own if I have to.

I love my bf very much. He's a great Dad too. What should I do? I feel like either way our relationship is now doomed

Do whatever feels tight for you.. Being pregnant is a blessing and actually having a baby is life changing. You need to tell him what you want to do. Stay strong.

right

Yes, I'm afraid that your relationship is almost certainly over.

If you were to choose your bf, do you think you would forgive him for holding his always-declared position? You say it was never his intention to have more children, but what did he do to ensure that he wouldn't be fathering any more inadvertently?

Do you think he would forgive you for forcing more fatherhood on him? That is almost certainly how he will see it - that he is being forced. How do you think he would behave once you decide to go ahead with the pg?

I think if you were to have an abortion, you would alwys mourn that baby, and resent him because of your loss, particularly as he will be relieved when it's done, and you won't.

If you were to have the baby, then that's the rest of his life being a father to a child he didn't want.

Assume the worst. I'm so sorry

Hi op hope you are doing well. Another point to add to other people's comments is, you have said he doesn't want to be a father again and that the baby was a suprise. But did you ever want children was it something you saw in your future?

I split up with my ex partner because he decided he didn't want children and I do... When I got together with my OH he knew what I was looking for but we've never discussed if or when we would.

On reflection I think his comments have been purely selfish. He's not considered my feelings once. He just said how it will affect his life. Whereas I'm trying to think for both of us - but I know ultimately I'll have to make the decision. His reasons are more lifestyle. I can afford to support myself - I'm totally independent financially. I don't need his cash!

I've booked a counselling appointment and a dating scan next week. I know once I've had that apt I will know 100% what the correct decision is.

Thank you for all of your comments. It really helps to know you're not on your own. I wish I was enjoying all of the subtle changes going on with my body xx

I didn't really enjoy any of my pregnancy, with everything that was going on.
All changed when the baby arrived though
Whatever you decide, I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you and that's what counts.
Have to agree with PP's though, it doesn't sound like your current relationship is something to strive to keep hold of. Again, do what's right for you. Personally, I think you deserve better

He clearly isnt a great dad. If he was this sure he didnt want more children he should have had a vasectomy.

He isnt a good partner as his focus should be the feelings of his pregnant partner, the person who actually has to have the termination he is insisting on.

Make the right decision for you. Walk away from this man who is bullying you at your most vulnerable regardless.