Hoping for some balanced advice please. I am 9wks pg with my 3rd child. DH and I have a good, stable relationship and in other circumstances another child would not be considered an issue.
The thing is that I was diagnosed with post natal depression 12 weeks ago and it's only with hindsight that we can see that actually it has affected me since the birth of DD1 who is now 4. With the help of medication I finally feel as if I'm coming away from a very dark place full of negativity and suicidal thoughts (which I had for so long that I thought everyone had them). To add to this we had just moved to a new country so have no support network - we're literally on the other side of the world. We are building a life and I've got good prospects for work and independence away from home.
I'm not sure though that I can live with the guilt of termination or the feeling of loss, loss of a baby that is likely perfect.
I have a termination booked for tomorrow as there was a 10 day waiting time. I had made an appointment 2 weeks ago but DH and I couldn't go through with it. DH does feel termination would be the best for me due to the pnd and life just coming back on track but he will support me in whichever decision I make and the baby would be loved just like our DDs if we decided to keep it.
Has anyone been here before? Or anywhere similar? Getting desperate as I can't delay again.
Thank you in advance