I don't know what to write. I found out today I'm pregnant. I have 4 young children, recently started having panic attacks & am not long over pneumonia which I was hospitalized for. My mental state is so bad lately I was considering medication.
I'm a mess.
I did a digital test. 3+ weeks. Last period mid June. I'm living in Ireland. It makes it all harder.
I know I cannot endure pregnancy birth and newborn with 4 other children. I hate myself for being so stupid.
I'm do frightened. I looked at Marie Stopes website, medical abortion available in Belfast. I will call them tomorrow.
I'm so unbelievably terrified. Terrified of how this will change me afterwards.
I don't know what I'm hoping to gain from posting here, my DH is not speaking to me really. He's in shock I suppose. I can't talk to anyone about this IRL. It's only been hours since I did the rest but ive been concerned about my lack of AF but was putting it down to the fact my mental state has never been so bad.
Thanks for reading