Just found out that I am pregnant and I am so upset

[Lolipoplady]

Did a test this morning after my period was 4 days late, and to my shock I am pregnant :(

I came off the pill two months ago and my cycle was longer than usual last month, so I thought the same had happened again this month, but no, I have managed to get pregnant. I feel so incredibly stupid.

I have no children yet, but DP and I were planning to start trying in the next year or so. We don't live together, but yesterday I found out that I have finally got a job that will allow me to relocate and move in with DP. Which I'm over the moon about, it felt like our life together was finally starting to work out.

Now I'm pregnant and I just know that I have to have an abortion. I feel like I just want this bundle of cells out of me asap before it grows anymore. I never, ever, thought that I would have an abortion, but I just cannot be pregnant right now. Financially, it's just not possible, and I'm finally starting on a career that I have worked so hard for (have had mental health problems in the past which meant that I was late going to uni, so I've been a bit behind my peers for the last 10 years, really). I'm 30 now.

I feel desperate for a termination but at the same time desperately sad, because I know that if this had happened in a year or two's time, when we are settled and financially more stable (and I am eligible for maternity pay, for example), we would be thrilled. We both want to have children and have talked about it so much, but the timing is just awful :(

Sorry that this is such a rambling post, I think I'm still in shock. I have told DP and my dad, but haven't been able to tell my mum or my brothers. Might speak to a friend tomorrow. I live with my parents, but I just can't tell my mum because she really wants grandchildren and doesn't agree with abortion, so I know she will be devastated by this and make me feel like a bad person too. It's hard keeping it from her while being in the same house, though.

Has anyone else had an experience like this? I suppose I just want someone to talk to who knows what it feels like. I am also really scared that the abortion won't work first time round and that this nightmare will be prolonged even after I move. I don't want to be starting my new job while still pregnant. I wish it was all a bad dream :(

Lollipop, how are things? I've one booked for Wednesday ??

Hello, sorry I haven't replied, I've not looked at this thread since I last posted as it was just another reminder of what was happening.

I had a medical termination this week. I had a scan on Tuesday and they found an embryo with a heartbeat, approx. 6 weeks and 6 days. CRL 8.5mm. Those details were really really hard to take as it made it all so real. Anyway, I took the first lot of tablets that day, and then yesterday took the the second lot of tablets, and passed the pregnancy after only an hour and a half. It was not very painful, and so quick compared with what I was expecting. I was suffering with terrible morning sickness which lifted as soon as the pregnancy passed.

I hope your procedure went well, Jilted. How are you feeling? And thank you for the commiserations crap.

Lolipop.

I hope you're doing okay. It's such a difficult thing to go through. It's by far the hardest thing I've ever done.

Look after yourself. Don't be alarmed if you find yourself getting very emotional. Hormones have a lot to answer for in the early days.

Take care

Loli: life is often not easy.

Earlier in the thread someone mentioned keeping charts and being aware of when you ovulate etc, but we can have spontaneous ovulation so you can actually conceive anytime during your cycle.

I hope you are feeling better now.

Thank you Pax and Thelastpickle.

I am definitely feeling better now, I feel like a weight has been lifted from me... literally as if I have got my mind and body back. Still feeling the physical effects, still a bit sore and bleeding, but that seems to be normal. Emotionally, I feel sad that I had to lose this baby. I said goodbye to it as it passed, and told it that I was so sorry. I do feel guilt, but not overwhelmingly. I still know that this was the right decision.

I certainly won't be taking any chances with contraceptives. I am back on the pill and also (when I start having sex again) will be using condoms. A bit extreme perhaps, but I really don't want to risk being in this position again. Any baby that I conceive deserves to be loved and taken care of, and I do not want to be in the position again where I am unable to do that.

I'm glad you're feeling well lolipop. Onwards and upwards now.