Booked for medical abortion and scared of the unknown

[scotl66]

I'm 39 and 4+4 at the minute. I have only been with my bf 5 weeks and unfortunately got pregnant the first time we slept together. He knows and is being supportive as he can be. I'm booked in on 29th for 1st pill and back on 30th for 2nd lot. I'm so scared of the pain and bleeding . So many horror stories online. I know this is the right decision ut im so so terrified. Can anyone help shed some light on this..... help me settle my mind. X

[EssexMummy123]

? - i said medical isn't frightening which is what you said you were booked in for in your OP. Surgical involves doctors/nurses/theatre/anesthetic/recovery to me personally more frightening but others may feel differently.

[buttercupbear]

Would you be driving or public transport? Would someone be with you? Mine kicked in quickly 20-30mins but seems to be not your standard experience from the responses on this thread so I'm sure not relevant, but I would say you need someone with you to drive you just incase.

Ah you did say I didn't know if it included sedation rather than ga is all

[cantdecide83]

I had the pills at 6 weeks and it wasn't too bad. After the second pill the cramps started after about 20 minutes and continued until i started bleeding about 3 hours later. I had to pretty much stay on the toilet for about 2 hours but it was manageable after that. Bleeding was reasonably heavy for about 3 days then light for 2. It was the right decision for me and I've never felt bad about it. Deciding to do it was much worse than the actual experience. You should do whatever you feel comfortable with.

[MincePionaMumsnet]

Hi folks. Thank you to everyone who has given the OP advice and support on this thread. We're going to move it in a moment to our Pregnancy Choices board. Hope you don't mind, OP. We think you'll get even more replies over there offering help and the benefit of experience. Best wishes. MNHQ

[SassyCandyCane]

Lizzy86 I think you were out of order to suggest OP uses a condom. You have no idea of her current situation. Of course in her case she was unlucky. But for fuck sake use your head.

[mareish]

I had much the same experience as cantdecide83, my husband drove as I was advised not to as the drugs could cause cramps but they didn't start until after we got home 45 -50 minutes. I would think everyone has slightly different reaction. Again I found the decision much more distressing than the experience, in fact the clinic said I'd probably already started to miscarry through stress as I had started bleeding. It was physically like a very bad period but everyone has different pain threshold. Try to zone out now & then, give yourself a break as worrying every minute between now & the 30th will really exhaust you. You can change your mind at any point up until the drugs are ingested.

[scotl66]

essex sorry i didn't follow... apologies.

buttercup im hopefully getting bf to drive me back. Will I need to stop at toilets en routemps. ....should I take towel for the car? Or should it just be cramps till I get home?

sassy thank you for standing up for me. People presume and forget protection isn't 100%.

mareish no change of mind. This is right decision for me. Bf is supportive. I'm doing this for my own peach of mind. I already feel grateful for having him as I know many men that would have ran that eaty in a relationship.

I'm run down. I'm still getting over flu. Bad cough and sniffles. It's obviously getting to me. I stayed in bed today till 4pm. My other concern is im supposed to be going out with my mum etc on 31st for a new years eve dinner.....will I be able to?

[scotl66]

Back awake with coughing to point of feeling sick. I just want sleep x

[Fuckmath]

I also think it's a bit insensitive and patronising to tell her to use a condom. I have got pregnant while using condoms too - it happens.

OP, good luck.

I haven't had a medical abortion so can't really comment on that side of things but have had surgical. Don't be alarmed if you feel very emotional afterwards - hormones seem to go all over the place when pregnancy ends. If you feel sure in your decision then you should be able to ride through the emotions and you'll be fine, but be prepared you might feel very down for a week or two even if you have no regrets.

[QuickSilverFairy]

Honey, I have experienced both types of termination. I did find surgical abortion to be quicker. I chose to only have local injection as I wanted to drive myself back and forth from procedure.

When I took the tablets, I experienced cramping and bleeding about six hours after taking them. I was given some lovely pain killers to help manage the cramps. The very worst time was around hours 10 to 14 when I passed the sac. I prepared by having heavy duty sanitary pads, a heating pad, cold drinks with sugar, tea with milk and snacks. My best friend stayed two nights with me. She and I watched DVDs and read lots of magazines.

I continued to have bleeding for about a week. The cramping lasted a little less and I managed those with paracetamol. My pregnancy symptoms disappeared very rapidly.

Sending hugs to you..xx

[AnotherGirlsParadise]

Don't be frightened, sweetie - honestly, you'll be fine. I've had 2 surgical abortions, but also a medically managed miscarriage, which is very similar to a medical abortion in terms of what to expect.

The cramps are horrible (aren't they always?!) and the bleeding can be heavy, especially for the first few hours. I think the anticipation of it is the worst part, the waiting for the pills to kick in - this is why I went for surgical abortions, because I'm an over-thinker and would've worked myself up into a frenzy had I been sitting there waiting. With the medical miscarriage, I didn't have much choice, although once it's under way, you know it's happening and that it'll be over soon. Try to take a little bit of comfort from that.

You're doing what's right for you, and I'm glad that so many lovely MNers have offered you support It's never an easy decision to make. Best of luck, my love - I'll be thinking of you xx

[Lizzy86]

Sorry if I offended you, it wasn't my intention. Everyones situation is different I should have not said a thing. Am I forgiven? Best of luck love x

[Fanfeckintastic]

Don't be scared. I had a surgical abortion as I couldn't have medical because I was flying from Ireland and couldn't afford to stay overnight.

Honestly, I might get flamed but I believe that a LOT of the terrifying stories you read online are put there by some obsessive pro life groups. There was a group who set up a page selling the abortion pill to women in Ireland and when the package arrived it was horrible pro life propaganda. Leaving women in a much worse predicament as they were further along having waited for the package and in some cases they'd spent all the money they had on this.

[scotl66]

Yes forgiven lol. Yeah fan you are probably right. I'm just scared of the unknown, and fact I have to travel an hour to get there n back. I'd prefer it didn't happen en route home.

anothergirls thank you for the support and everyone else. It's the pain rather than the blood im scared of. Although I'm sure I'll say the other way.

[buttercupbear]

Could you take the pill home and take it when you get there? I'm not sure how it works if you're not staying for the duration, sorry if this is a stupid suggestion. I would say just incase if not take a dark towel just to be safe, get loads of maternity pads in the houae just so you don't have to keep going out, and maybe a DVD or something on a laptop to try to distract you

[goodasitgets]

Ok I had medical
Second tablet was at 3pm, started with a gush of blood about 6pm
I won't lie, I struggled with the pain, very intense cramping. I felt sick but wasn't and I felt faint too
I passed the sac at 9pm which stopped the pain instantly
I bled for around 3/4 weeks after, and continued passing large clots for maybe 2 weeks
I became anaemic so be careful to keep an eye and see GP if worried
I did it all alone and coped but it was hard. Drove myself to clinic and back

[scotl66]

Where do I get maternity pads from or will night always be ok.... or tena etc ?

[buttercupbear]

I would get the thickest ones you can find, they have the super thick sanitary pads I think they're night ones they're like 1-1.5 cm thick or so that would be good to get but make sure they're the really padded ones as they are comfy and do the job! You can get them with wings for more security. I found if I put on two pairs of granny pants I felt more 'secure' and it held the pad better. Maternity pads you can get from the supermarket but any super thick pads will do as they're the same, that was what I meant sorry!

[scotl66]

Ok ill stock up on them and ibuprofen and paracetamol. Will codeine be needed?

[buttercupbear]

I would get some to be safe just incase, you may not need it!! If you ask the nurses they may be able to offer you some proper codeine but I'm not sure on this at all just thinking it might be possible x

[scotl66]

My nerves seem calmer at the minuts. Ask me again next weekend and that will all be different.

[buttercupbear]

Ok today scot?

[scotl66]

Yeah had xmas day on my own. Nice chilled day. Still feeling scared of procedure but looking forward to it too if that makes sense.

[scotl66]

Tomorrow has come round fast im im starti ng to get very very nervous.