Antenatal support thread for women who have chosen to terminate 7

[mrsbigz]

May this thread continue to offer support and friendship to all who have found ourselves knocking at its door. May the door stay firmly wedged open - to be a comfort to those who have recently lost a little one, and welcoming back those who have longer memories of their loss. May the tea always be brewing and the millionaire shortbreads always freshly baked.

And may our all little ones find each other in a magical place, where they can run, laugh and play together with no boundaries

Sorry about getting you mixed up girls xxx

knitter - its hard when your marching through a conversation and you suddenly realise its heading towards you having to mention the termination. I know just what you mean. Like you sometimes i chicken out and veer away from what i was going to say. It can be tricky, and sound like your slightly mad! A couple of times i've just carried on - and said it - and then i feel my voice going a bit wobbly. And i have to shut up for a while. I hate all that.

stunned - oh bless, poor you love . 2 wobbles in one afternoon. Its still early days though. Things will get better, and you'll start to go through whole days when you dont cry. And then more days when you dont cry than do... Its good that you have friends with whom you can let your feelings out hun xx

I'm in a ov/not ov couple of days at the mo. One pos. OPK, and 2 negs now, sigh. Keep on keeping on tho' ladies.

Hope everyones ok, and having a good day. TGIF xx

bit of a me post...sorry in advance...
i felt worried all day yest about the pg,just didnt feel right, and started to bleed this morning, had blood test at hospital (oh the drama of starting to bleed whilst talking to yr 7 boys... had to carry on chatting and ask another guy to watch them!) Anyhoo, blood test shows 19 of hcg, which would be 3/4 weeks pg, as i should be 5 +1 (i think) by now, this is not good sign, with bleeding, so they are pretty sure its not gonna stick, got a second blood test sun to confirm.

so hey ho, back to square 1... again! now waiting for a mate to v kindly give us a lift 40 mins back to school to pick up my car as i got taken to hospital. the drama! so it seems even if you dont tell people when its v early, some will just find out if it goes wrong anyway. Tho we had only told one friend, and now explained to few people at work, but not having to deal with friends/gparents/neighbours is better.

sorry to be a cloud on a friday!

after a quick skim stunned sorry you had such a nightmare out and about. (i have taken to shopping online, all the retail therapy fun whilst sitting on the couch with the fire on)

will catch up properly over the wknd,
xxx

Oh cremegg love! Fingers crossed though ay? I'm not too up on low hcg levels but i've read enough here to know its a worry. Its not the end though. When you say bleeding - is it spotting, or more than that? Because some early bleeding is SOOOO common. Have you any pain?

Please, please keep us posted. Keep yourself rested and warm.

Worried for you hun, keeping everything crossed here xxxxxx

So sorry cremegg.
It's our anniversary today so have the day off, going away for the weekend. H bought me a sapphire and diamond " eternity" ring. Very spoilt.
Have a good weekend xx

oh cremegg i'm so sorry you're going through this. as misty says, low hcg isn't always the end, and i'm a prime example of someone who has bled intermittently through all of my pregnancies - however i know the worry and wish i could offer some words of support right now. i'm glad your school are being understanding. i hope things turn out ok on sunday - but if not please know we are all here to support you xxxxx

blackcat - wow that eternity rings sounds gorgeous - in fact just like one i have my eyes on haha!! happy anniversary to you xx

hope everyone else is well, must dash but will catch up later xx

thanks ladies
misty we are talking night time towels every couple of hours bleeding unfortunately (sorry for tmi but tiny clots an all..) Period pain cramps too. AF was only a week late really, i just knew i was pg for longer due to good ol' early tests (prefer to know tho anyway!)
grr... but if its not right i guess, its not right.
treacle your ring sounds gorge, have a fab wknd. where r u off to?
I got my white gold/aquamarine ring last week (Indy's birth stone) and I love having it.
now watching 'jamie at home' with a maccyds sundae!
xx

sorry x post mrsb, thats me watching jamie making his merrangue (sp!! i know!)
school were great but im sure there'll prob be talk of 'she tried too soon' by those that know, blah. tho catholic school so technically shouldnt use contraception anyway ;) haha.
xx

cremegg Just popping in quickly to say that I'm so sorry this is happening to you. All I can say is that if it is going to fail then better sooner than later in my opinion. Look after yourself and don't worry what other people might think, we all know that there is absolutely no clinical reason why a pregnancy after a loss might be more likely to fail. It's just rotten luck. xxx

cremegg - i hope you don't get any of that school talk, tell'em to mind their own business if you do (in a nice way of course!)
sorry for the heavy bleeding. i curse those early pg tests sometimes - i've had a similar experience where i had a weeks worth of +hpt and then went - :( i hope you enjoy your sundae and jamie xx
ps - your ring sounds beautiful too xx

cremegg - your ring does sound lovely hun

As ladies have said take no notice of the 'too soon' talk. Your body is ready obvoiusly - its just those early tests ...... chatting to someone recently we agreed that in the days before early tests ladies would assume a heavy period and carry on regardless. Chin up then petal. I believe i had the very same thing as you at the end of last year and the bleeding was over fairly quickly.

More xx

cremegg
sending you great big hugs & everything crossed for you
Last night there were more tears when hubby came home
I am doing better today - been out done the food shop with hubby. Once we had lunch we are off to Ikea for a wander - don't need anything but nice to o for a coffee & cake :)
Still looking for something to make Amelias birth by, seen lots of nice things but nothing that has grabbed me just yet. We are off to Glastonbury in a weeks time I will look then as I like crystals & silver items. Looking for a ring or pendant.
Take care out there ladies, sending you all great big hugs
X x

cremegg sorry things don't look good for this one - huge hug to you..

stunned glad today is better - and enjoy Glastonbury... I wa brought up near there and it's a fun place - I assume you've been before?

Had a little cry yesterday when my mp3 player surprised me with a song I hadn't heard for ages called 'All i've ever lost'... guess I don't need to say any more to you ladies

cremegg - Can't say anything that will help while you wait, except that I am crossing EVERYTHING and thinking of you xxxxxxx

stunned, I really find that when I wobble it carries on for the whole day. Things that wouldn't get me just do. In a weird way, it's quite good, I can say to myself, 'right, this is my wobbly day, bring it on!'. Then I don't expect too much from myself, in actual fact I let OH know then do the whole in pj's/ bar of choccie/ good movie thing that evening. It's good because he knows what is going on, (and brings the choccie home!), but also allows me time to feel sad and grieve, which is still so important to do, without feeling like a failure. It's still such early days for you, and you are coping amazingly, even if yod don't feel like it. Hope Glastonbury turns up a fitting reminder of Amelia, let us know! xxxxxxx

treacle and cremegg, the rings both sound fabulous. Special things for special ladies .

misty, mrsbigz, egglet, hello my lovelies! Hope you are all okay. misty, sorry about the on/off opk thing, bloody frustrating eh? First day of peeing on opk sticks for me today, 2 days since Flo buggered off, 7 day of cycle so not surprised by a negative. Have told OH we need to SWI at least once a day for the next 16-17 days. Response? Does anyone remember the Sensodyne toothbrush advert where the man had a flip top head? That's how wide his smile was. What a naughty boy!

knitter, it's Adele, (not the latest one, but a soppy, slow one) and 'Rule the World' by Take That for me as those were the 2 songs they were playing on the radio as they wheeled me into theatre. Don't think I will ever be able to hear either without feeling like I'm losing little one all over again. Heaven help the first wedding I go to when either is played as a first dance! xxxxxxxxx

Lots of hugs all, hope this is the start of a fab weekend for us all xxxxxxxxxxxx

knitter my hubby was born about 15miles away in same town as Jenson Button. We love it down there but we live in the midlands due to work etc. Plus it is soo expensive there & no jobs.
Oh my hubby is a gem BUT he is one of them people that can eat his body weight in food / crap & not put an oz on - were I only have to be in same room as a chocolate bar & gain about 1/2 stone :( Due to this he brings me lots of nice fruit home :)
On the way home from seeing my friends i felt loads better - even as we went through baby stuff in ikea I was fine. Even picked little cuddly toy mouse up saying Amelia mite have liked this - hubby took my hand gave it a squeeze & me a kiss - bless him.
Take care out there, don't forget to smile
X x

I really like the South West but expensive and no jobs sums it up. I'm condemned to stay grim up North.

Glad you feel a little better stunned and happy SWI-ing cinnamon

cremegg hope you're ok, you're in my thoughts.

Just super quick - catching up on drivingmisscrazy's brilliant news on her thread and read egglet's fabulous words of advice re: negative 'people' and vultures; just had to tell you egglet you are legend and now my personal hero!! xxxxxx

If 'she' shows up here on this thread i wont be keeping my cool! My only 2 words of advice for her will start with an F and an O xx

Good morning lovies xxx

cinnamon - 'rule the world' makes me cry anyway! So you have no hope with it, bless you lol. Hows your back? And hows your little lad? Yes - its good news with drivingmisscrazy. We've followed a couple of anxious waits followed by good news now havnt we? Its so heartening when that happens - for all of us xxx

stunned - your hubby sounds lovely, i hope your feeling stonger today? We live in the midlands too. Northants. Glastonbury is LOVELY btw wish i was going .....

egglet and mrsbigz - messaged on FF. Kat, you're on 2WW now then? Ooooh ......

cremegg - hows it going today hun? I hope your taking it easy over there. Thinking of you.

knitter - for you wobble on Thursday. Hope your having a good weekend xxx

bluecat, blacktreaclecat, flower, myangel, darlingred and everyone else and hope your all feeling fine, and having a relaxing Saturday? (is there such a thing?! lol)

I'm good on the OPKs. Pos yesterday again. CD15. At it like rabbits at the mo. ..... Hoping my luteal phase is longer this month. Was a bit short last month, (1st after termination) which isnt good for ttc it seems. It should be longer this time as i'm about a week ahead of where i was this time in my last cycle .... sorry! Boring, boring! lol

Suns coming out - hooray! Going now xxxx

Hello everyone, just a quickie this morning!

Wanted to give cremegg a big hug and I'm so sorry about the bleeding. I'm thinking of you x

cinnamon I'm not sure what threads you are talking about but I'm liking the sound of the outburst Egglet- you'll have to fill me in. I've also emailed you btw.

Happy Sat to everyone- all the jewellery talk is making me very envious... the rings sound beautiful! And I'm glad that you've both found suitable pieces to Mark your little ones xxx

Hello, just calling in too. Cremegg, hope you're doing ok.

Myangelava I've emailed you back to complicate things further!

That's a bit much to live up to Cinnamon! That person had absolutely nothing to offer other than this ludicrous premise that because she has a disabled child anyone who terminates a pregnancy due to disability is in some bizarre way dissing her or her child! It's nuts. Ninety per cent of people who know their baby has Down Syndrome terminate, that's just fact and it's done for very valid reasons. All she was doing was intruding on someone else's actual distress and potential absolute devastation, for what looked to me like her own amusement. I find that really disturbing (but I do plan to just ignore her in future!)

See some of you on FF in a minute and hope the rest of you are having a nice weekend.

Hi everyone

cremegg big hugs, thinking of you.

I live in the south west, the chavvy bit is cheaper :o it is good having all the coast and countryside on door step.

hope everyone is having a good weekend. xx

Afternoon ladies
We live near Birmingham - would love to go else where can't agree were as MIL is near bath, my folks are near Norwich. Love Bath area but couldn't afford even a bedsit there.
We will make do with a few visits to MIL for the time being until we win the lottery.
Downs - not sure we would terminate just for that alone - would have to be other issues for us as we feel they can be very loving children & speak openly as they see the world.
However I do fully understand why people do terminate re down as not everyone can cope with the condition.
All down to personal choice & if we were all the same this world would be boring place to live.
Not really done much this weekend - got to re start the diet as put on a few lb over last couple of week with all the food & drink :)
Hope you have all had a good weekend take care out there
Love & hugs to all
X x

Hello all,

Just a quick check in; thread seems to be quite quiet at the moment which I think is a really good thing. Not that I don't miss everyone! Just it means that we are all getting toward a better place, and that there are less ladies finding their way here. It seems anyone new who has found us has had really good news, which makes me feel happy and hopeful for us all.

Not much to report - driving myself insane with opk pee sticks; didn't use last months because of kidneys so have 2 packs for this month. Apparently don't need to start testing till Monday based on my cycle, but have been testing since Friday, then getting grumpy with the negatives even though it's only about 4 days since Aunite Flo went away, (who's she visiting this week btw? I've lost track!), so not quite sure what I'm expecting!

I used to love near Birmingham too, think I may have mentioned it before. Personally, I love Worcester; have lots of friends there and went to uni there too - twice! Would love to move back, or failing that move to the coast. OH is a surfer so sufferers pretty bad withdrawal symptoms being this far from the sea, though has an unhealthy distaste for UK surf which he assures me is pitiful, (growing up in the surf capital of SA, I think he is judging us a bit unfairly!!). Maybe we should organise a weekend to visit flower? Love the south west, chavvie bit or not!

Hope you are all okay and have nice things planned for the bank holiday. Thinking of our lovely cremegg and sending lots of hugs down under, (I mean to Australia, not......oh dear!!).

Sunday afternoon hugs and kisses to you all xxxxxxx

Hello lovely ladies

Just a quick one -

cinnamon - made me smile reading your post. I did the very same thing! I started POAS on day ...erm... 9 i think. And then got all disheartened cos they were neg! So daft. I know darn well day 12 is about the start for me for positives. Got a faint + on day 12 - but 14,15 and 16 (today) have been real strong! I think i had 3 days of +'s last month - so i recon today will the last day of +'s for me.

Then its the 2ww ..... sigh.

Hope your all having a good one girls.