Antenatal support thread for women who have chosen to terminate 7

[mrsbigz]

May this thread continue to offer support and friendship to all who have found ourselves knocking at its door. May the door stay firmly wedged open - to be a comfort to those who have recently lost a little one, and welcoming back those who have longer memories of their loss. May the tea always be brewing and the millionaire shortbreads always freshly baked.

And may our all little ones find each other in a magical place, where they can run, laugh and play together with no boundaries

Just a quickie from me as I'm off to Egypt with my lovely best friend for a week of sunshine and cocktails

Lily I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and crossing everything that your hcg levels are increasing. Hope I log on again in a week to see some good news for you. If not, then sending lots of hugs in advance as I can understand why you will be disappointed. You're right though that it's sort of a good outcome in that you now know you're ready.

Love to everyone else.

xxxxxxx

Endogirl hope you have a fab time with your friend, sounds like just what the doctor ordered!

Not good news here I'm afraid. Levels came back at 12, consultant all ready to send me away for 2 weeks and have me back to check levels again, but decided last minute to scan me. Scan showed thick lining and lots of cysts, not retained products but not normal lining either. Result is that I'm booked in for a d&c under general in three weeks time, they will clear the lining completely and also biopsy the cysts.

Hi Lily06 so sorry to hear that the scan brought out an unexpected outcome. However, I'm glad you will finally be treated and I'm sure the cysts will be harmless after they have been biopsied. Why do they wait 3 weeks to book you in tho? I hope you're ok considering everything.

Sorry I have been quiet after only just joining the thread. I had a really rubbish week last week which I now know was PMT. I always feel down the week before and knew that it was prob AF but I just couldn't snap out of it. Was away at the weekend with DH and that blew the cobwebs away and I feel ok now. AF arrived on Monday so perfect timing after being away.
We aren't trying for another baby just at the moment. I have a DS and DD already and it's such a rollercoaster once you started the TTC road..Xx

hi everyone, and hi to new people, im sorry you have had to find your way to this thread.

I have been awol for a while, had a break from mnet, and havent felt here is necessarily the right place to post, time has moved on and ive been grieving fertility problems as well as the loss of my little one and have been in a strange place.

Misty sending you huge hugs hun, its so hard thinking of all the hopes and dreams and what should have beens. Hope you are taking good care of yourself xxx

Treacle I hope it all works out for you, have everything crossed for you

Cherry thank you for thinking of me, I cant imagine how stressful things are for you, hope you get the house sorted soon x

Lilly hope things work out for you now, after what youve been thru the last few weeks.

We had our appointment with fertility consultant on monday and as im at ovulation stage they have booked me in for scans and tests tomorrow. So things are moving on faster than expected which is good.

hi to mrsb and love to everyone xx

Endo, hope you've had a great time in the sun.
Lily, sorry you had bad news, but it sounds like at least they're now going to sort it out.
Hi Shalo2, am personally dreading the return of AF on top of all the other bleeding, hope you got through it ok.

We got through our first week "anniversary" as it were yesterday night/Monday, which feels like a hurdle cleared. I went to acupuncture (not everyone's cup of tea I know but it works for me) and cried all over the guy, had some needles stuck in my feet and afterwards felt much calmer and better. It feels like we've arrived in a different country since last week and have to get used to life again on the other side of this experience, especially as there is still several weeks before we get any pm or genetic test results.

Well we have a euploid grade 1 hatching blast on board so fingers crossed.

Fab news, hope all goes well, when is your first scan / next test?

Pregnancy test on 1/11.
Fingers crossed. We have 2 frozen embryos so a back up plan.

Keeping everything crossed for you. X

I'm at hospital for pre op assessment on thurs then d&c and biopsy on 7th. Glad at least that something is being looked at, as I had one light af a month after the termination and then nothing for the last 50 days, which is long even for me. Have had horrible pmt symptoms for past two weeks now. I'm struggling a bit this week but not sure how to help myself.

How's everyone else?

hey lily how are you doing? sounds like a bit of a nightmare for you at the mo, hopefully all will be sorted soon. sending hugs to you hon xx

hi treacle fingers and toes crossed for you. how r u doing?

its been a year since we first conceived now, in a weird way has gone v quick. a friend suggested that now its been a year we 'could see someone'... i doubt they'd be interested as have been preg for 25 weeks of said year, so will plod on!

how r the others out there?

misty how r u chick? I've started temping out of intrigue!! waiting for that magic drop and increase but its pretty varied so not sure i will notice.

xxx

Hi everyone xx

lily - hope everything went well yesterday love. What a horrible time you're having , but as cremegg says it will all be sorted soon, and you'll be assured all is fine.

blacktreacle - how exciting! Please let us know as soon as you know. If you know what i mean!? lol

flower - how did you get on hun?

cremegg hi lovie. Still plugging away! lol. love it. Temping - very interesting stuff, you learn alot about your body. Yeah - i saw the docs a couple of cycles ago to ask about something and he looked at me like i was mental when i said i was fretting. He said - you've been pregnant before, you've been pregnant this year - "c a l m d o w n" ........ easy for him to say, ay?

and to everyone. Newbies and oldies! Thank you for the hugs and thoughts around my due date. I fell apart a bit a couple of days after it for some reason. Feeling better now. Af has left the building and i'm cruising towards ov week. Again

Love and hugs to all

Hi everyone

Misty glad you are feeling better.

I had 2 scans one on day 13 and one on day 17, that one showed that ovulation still had not occured. Consultant thinks I have sluggish ovaries and they are not working at their best, not perfectly clear but not bad enough for him to dignose polycystic ovaries. I now have 6 month supply of clomid and am waiting for af so I can get going on new cycle.

love to everyone xx

Hi all
BFP!!!!!
So pleased but it will be a long first tri after last time. We know with about 90% certainty that the chromosomes are normal as we had array cgh.
Flower I hope the clomid works for you
Lily hope your op goes well and you are on the mend soon
Hi misty, cremegg, everyone else
Xxx

OMG OMG OMG treacle I am so so so so so pleased for you! Congratulations honey. What fantastic news. What happens next? Do you get scanned more regularly than normal as it was IVF or are you just on the normal track from here on in? I am so excited for you!

Lily I'm so sorry to hear your news. How did the pre-op go? Are you holding up ok? I know it doesn't really help but I promise you this bit will be far less worse than anything you've been through already. Make sure you take some time out afterwards to heal properly. Lots of chocolate and trashy mags are definitely in order.

I'm trying temping too at the mo misty and cremegg. All I can say is my body must be odd as the temp is all over the place! It sort of goes up a bit for the second half but you have to look hard to notice it!! Also doing the ov sticks but that's not working out too well and I don't seem to be ovulating so they're freaking me out and I might give them up! You'll think I'm mad doing all of this while we're not even trying again yet but I wanted to get sorted so that when we start I've got it all mapped out!!!

I hope the clomid works out ok for you flower. Is this your first cycle with it?

Hi to shalo and purcel and everyone else. Hope you're doing ok.

xxxxxxx

treacle - i only really lurk on this board these days but i saw your post and just had to come on and say CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! that is such fantastic news :)
i found out today too that my brother and sis-in-law have got a bfp after 4+ years ttc, 1 failed ivf - they were just about to start ivf #2 and at the preliminary scan it showed they were already pregnant!!

having a bit of a time of it myself, but for completely different reasons (which i've detailed in the sister thread) but i just wanted to say i do think of you ladies all of the time, particularly flower and cremegg and misty who were such a source of support to me back in March. I'm glad to see the support is still going strong, although of course am always sad to see new members to this group.

sending lots of love to you all and congrats again treacle!

Wow, blacktreacle that's lovely news, and must be really reassuring to know about the chromosomes etc.

Lily, hope you're doing ok with the stuff coming up on the 7th.

Hi to flower, MrsB, Endo and the others, hope everyone's doing ok.

We have a date for our postmortem results, but not till early December. Then I think we'll get some info on the cremation services the hospital do too. Not sure how I feel about that, or even if I want to go atm, we'll see. On the plus side, have almost stopped bleeding and can go to places with lots of babies in without getting upset any more....

Hi everyone,

mrsb good to hear from you, hope everything is going ok( sorry I don't read the other thread) xx

Blacktreacle congratulations! really glad its all worked out for you x

Yes Endo it is my first cycle of clomid, well about to start it, my period should turn up any day now.

Hope everyone else is ok, misty, lily, cremegg, purcellfan- glad things are getting better for you, it took me ages to be able to be around babies.

lots of love x

thanks flower i didn't want to go overboard on this thread, but in a nutshell our 20wk scan showed our baby has an echogenic area on his right lung. sent to a specialist who confirmed it as CCAM - which while rare usually has a good outcome if there are no other symptoms such as hydrops or pressure on the heart (which thankfully there isn't at the moment) - so close monitoring for that at the moment. They also told me I have complete placenta praevia - which is something that can move but if not will require a c-section (as may the CCAM!).
Add to that the fact that I have a prolapse, and my DS2 was born 9wks early, this is anything from a stress-free pregnancy. But of course I know I am very blessed to be pregnant and we are taking each day one at a time....and hopefully all will turn out well xxxx

Hope you ladies are all doing ok, I think about you all often even though I don't post here much xxxxxxxxxxxx

hey all, hows everyone's weekends?

mrsb so sorry to hear things are not running smoothly, it must be very hard after everything else this yr. sending love and hugs to you hon. xx

huge congrats to you treacle hows it all going?? so so exciting :D

lily i hope everything goes ok this week

hi purcell don't think I've said hello, sounds like you're doing well, just keep being kind to yourself

misty how you doing chick? still temping here, it's all quite fascinating isn't it?! should have done it sooner!

must say i need an offload re parents (mothers!!) Just had a Skype sesh with mine, they laid on the usual guilt trip about us being in Oz (just passed our 2 yr living here anniversary actually!) But anyway they have decided to avoid spending xmas with their own parents (both of which live 10 mins away from them tops) because 'the family can't be together' (i.e. I'm not going back) Bearing in mind, we went back last yr (i was 10 weeks pg and that was not a fun trip being stranded due to the snow in europe) and previous xmases when we lived in UK we went abroad (as am teacher and twas school hols) It might be coz they miss us but makes for an awkward cringeworthy conversation! Am not a fan of emotional blackmail...

I know this is not exactly the place ladies, but I know a few of us learnt more about our Mothers after what happened to us so I thought might be able to empathise!
xx

Oh Cremegg do not get me started!!! I had "the Christmas conversation" with my Mum last week. She assumed that we would be going down to them this Xmas. Even as she said the words I could feel my blood boil!!! We went down to them 2yrs ago and went away last year, so this year it's right that we spend it with my MIL. Especially as she's on her own and we're currently freeloading off her for 9 months!! My Mum went into a massive sulk for the rest of the evening which was really awkward. My Dad on the other hand totally understands and is more than happy that we're coming down on Christmas Eve instead for the whole day.

Sorry that's turned into a bit of an essay! I just meant to say that I totally empathise with you.

Lily how are you doing? I hope you're all ready for Thursday. I'm sure it will all go well but remember we're all here for you if you need anything.

Purcell I'm so impressed you are ok with babies already! I did a Swiss ball class this morning at the gym and one of the girls announced she was 17 weeks pregnant. I had to close my eyes and force myself through the rest of the class before I came home and had a good cry in the shower!!

Mrsbigz I'm so sorry to hear that things haven't been going smoothly with your pregnancy. It sounds like you're being so brave and so positive. I really admire you for your strength and hope it all turns out well for you. Please do keep us updated as like flower I don't read the other thread.

Have you started the clomoid yet flower? I'm not very clued up on these things. Is it an injection or tablets and do you take it all the time or just during your period? Sorry if that's a daft question!

Love and huge hugs to everyone else.

xxxxxxxxx

Sorry Lily I've just realised that today is the 7th not Thursday! Hope it's all going ok. xxxxx

Just a quick update to say had op yesterday and they think it was retained products after all which explains the hcg levels still being raised. Feel ok this morning though just a bit of cramping. Have to wait for scan in 3 months then appt to see consultant in 4 months, just all seems so far away when I want to get on with TTC again. Haven't read back yet but will do so today, hope everyone else is well. xx

Hi Lily glad to hear your ok and what a relief it appears to be retained product and nothing more serious. You body will definitely get back to normal now and you will have a normal AF long before your hospital appointments in 3/4 months. Do they recommend you wait until those apps before TTC again? If you have regular periods before that I am sure you will know yourself that you are ok. I know that's how I felt but the scan will give you the final reassurance which is what I had. Good luck with everything in the future xxx

hi everyone

Lily glad the op went ok and hopefully you are now fully on the road to getting better and being able to ttc.

Endo its not a daft question, I didn't really know much about it until I went to fertility clinic, its all new to me. Clomoid is tablets I took my first this morning which is day 2 of my cycle then I take daily until day 6, so its only 5 tablets a month. I have to be scanned on day 14 to see if working and check not over stimulated.

I can also relate to all the family issues, christmas and familes can be a bad combination without the extra pressure of loss. Our families dont know about our loss. Mil who is 84 and not in good health keeps telling everyone that she is not going to be a grandma because we have a cat instead of a baby! Well yes we do, but we are trying bloody hard to have the baby.

Hope everyone is doing ok, Misty how you doing hun?

lots of love xx

Hi Lily. So glad to hear that it all went ok on Monday and that it was retained product and nothing else. I'm hoping that has taken some of the worry away. Did they say that you had to wait until you've seen your consultant before you can TTC again? I was told after my ERPC that I just had to wait one cycle to make sure everything was back to normal and then it was ok to start again so I'm sure you don't have to wait that long if you don't want to. I hope the cramping has gone away now and that you're beginning to feel brighter.

Good luck with the tablets flower. Thanks for explaining things. I feel like I can hopefully help to support you a bit better if I understand what on earth you're talking about!!! I've gone off googling these things after loosing Cora as it seems to make everything sound so much worse! Do you run the risk of turning into a hormonal bunny boiler while taking these tablets or are they all pretty good these days?

I've had a bit of an odd emotional week so far. I had a BIG chat with my DH about maybe TTC again soon and he's now totally against the idea. He said that he just couldn't cope if it all went wrong again and he wants to wait for a while. I know we keep on changing our minds about this but I'm really gutted that he's not keen to try again soon. I'm going to be 37 in a month and I'm beginning to panic that due to my age and after 10 years of fertility issues, I'm never going to have children. Sorry if that sounds a bit dramatic but I'm a bit devastated at the mo :(

Plus one of my close friends has just had a little baby girl so I've just had to brave the pink section of baby gap!! Got a bit sad when i saw the "I Love Mummy" baby grows. Totally daft I know but for some reason it's really effected me today.

Tons of love to everyone else.

xxxxxx