Antenatal support thread for women who have chosen to terminate 7

[mrsbigz]

May this thread continue to offer support and friendship to all who have found ourselves knocking at its door. May the door stay firmly wedged open - to be a comfort to those who have recently lost a little one, and welcoming back those who have longer memories of their loss. May the tea always be brewing and the millionaire shortbreads always freshly baked.

And may our all little ones find each other in a magical place, where they can run, laugh and play together with no boundaries

Would you believe it but Murray (my satnav chap) is just the same. He always talks over me frantically, then goes worryingly silent for ages. Gives me irritating amounts of notice for some junctions and about 3 seconds for others. He has never once complimented me on either my driving, rear view mirror make up skillz, or choice of music. Although at least he knows where I live though.

Knitter, I looked at your chart. You're boiling!

Stunned, hope you're ok, the stuff at work sounds difficult. Come and vent here.

Myangelava, spoke to you elsewhere but nice to see you back.

Boring here but at least I have my (probably phantom) ovulation to distract me. I am downhearted as I'm not sure what's going on with my cycle and am sure all this copulation effort is pointless.

I have also applied for a job. It's only one day a week but I think even I could manage that and I thought it might mean I'd get inconveniently pregnant!

Everyone else. Hope you're all ok.
x

hey all, hope the week's going well.
did a test today, obv bfn (assume am due af this week) boobs sore but i guess thats one of those joyous pre-af symptoms too (why are they not different?!)
ahhh!
lol to sat navs, mine's 'aussie Ken', he once tried to get me to drive the wrong way onto a one way road, traffic coming at me and everything! sadly he has now died as no longer charges in the car (13 months after purchase!!)

been dramatic on the goss front here,... a gal in our 'group' (not really a close friend) has just announced she slept with her neighbour and is leaving her partner and.... is 9 weeks pregnant (with neighbour, partner had vasectomy!) my friend says that the lass doesn't even know what folic acid is... for pregnancy, as you gals can imagine, but it's hardly a nice and easy scenario... it was like listening to a script for a soap!

flower how was finland?

myangel how was your hol?

xxx

Temps dropped a bit today but i'm still very warm!! And still bfn :( I just think that my chart doesn't look right - also i've no idea where I am in my cycle... it used to be 30 days then WTF was 36 days and now i'm on day 31 with a BFN and no sign of AF... any opinions?

creme it was me that went to Finland. i had a fantastic time and a really good race :)

oops sorry knitter I had you in my head tho if you know what i mean! what were you racing?

don't you just hate a bfn?? i find myself holding it at all different angles, squinting etc and holding my breath hoping it will change! so damn annoying!

no idea whats happening hon, im trying to tell myself to see what happens with AF rather than tests! if she's not there its a good sign

Forgot to say, cinnamon sends her love ladies (i pm'd to see how she's doing)
xx

Awwww knitter. Just had a peep at your chart. Sorry love. I was very excited for you hun. Sorry. Your temp shot up and up didnt it? Maybe it was a near miss this month. I think i had one of those time b4 last xxxx

cremegg - what tangled webs they weave! Would be hard to know what to say for the best there! Sorry for your BFN. Still a chance? Not over till witchy gets there xx

Kat - been peering at your chart too. I think you may be right about the alcohol affecting your temps. Going by CD and sticks and CM things look good Going by temps - lord knows, lol. Reminds me of my charts! You've dont all you can tho, so dont worry. Just enjoy your peace and quiet in the house. When is OH back again? A week was it? Just chill now and try to temp carefully and lets see what happens. I've found i have to be very strict with myself on the temping. I have a new early waking up time so i havnt been tossing and turning b4 taking it. And try to restict the amout i drink (of anything) b4 bed so i dont need to get up and wee anywhere near temping time either. Im hoping this will make me a more sensible looking chart this month.

xx

yes - AF arrived this morning.. Introduced a whole host of complications as I was supposed to be travelling to Glastonbury tonight but it now means I'm going to have to stay in London and have my blood tests before I head down... logistics, logistics, logistics!

Still unsure about the temperatures... will be interesting to see what happens over the next cycle - I'm going to obsessively record every detail!

Evening ladies - waves tobeveryone
2nd attempt at the message - did long one & something happened & off it went grrr
I am feeling bit better / brighter - AF is leaving me which is always good
Are you all temping erm how / where do you do that - don't forget I m very blonde so keep it simple
Looking forward to the counselling on Friday although not sure want hubby in the first one
Are you off to the festival knitter - not sure I could cope without proper loos for the weekend :)
Take care out there ladies
X x

Oh blimey knitter - how quickly can you have your tests? Typical isnt it? 'Best laid plans....' as they say. Obsessively recording every detail sounds like the way to go! lol. I make loads of notes on the daily record at FF. The sticks for eg. .... todays stick was almost as dark as the test line. But i've put it down as neg, and made a note of the fact that it was borderline. Can review my decision to put neg and change it at a later date maybe!

Stunned - MrsB, egglet, knitter, cinnamon and i are all temping and ovulation testing using a web site called Fertility Friend to record the info. Rather than faffing around with bits of paper you type your info in each day and it puts it on a chart for you. You can record loads of info if you want to ... temps, how you feel, AF, CM, cervix, boobs, OPKs - whatever. Or just your morning temps. It keeps all your data and analyses and compares it month by month. You can have 'friends' and obsses over each others charts as well, like we do. Or keep your stuff private if you want. We chat there too on a little private thread. Come and join us! Its (here we go Kat - i'll get it right this time ....) $40 (american site) = about £27 for a years full membership. We've all learned lots there cos theres stacks of up to date info on ttc.

Personally i've found it has channeled my ttc obsessions into one or two visits to the site per day with something constructive to put in. Even if some days its only my morn temp and the vitamins i took! Then i can go away and not think about it. Its nice to share the ups and downs with the other ladies. (They put up with loads of rubbish from me on that thread and we do have a laugh. Thank you girls)

xx

stunned yes off to the festival (hopefully) but we do it the nice way as my parents live in the village and so we stay there, get hot showers, nice loos etc etc... If it's really muddy i might not even go down - might just hang about with DS and mum and dad!

misty additional complication is that this morning's spotting hasn't actually turned into AF yet - so hopefully tomorrow AF is going to get going...if that makes sense... I'll still get my blood tests done on Friday and just hope that they're ok... All very annoying...

FF is very good - most of the functionality is in the free basic access account... but i've upgraded to the full functionality account and it was about £40 quid for the year...

misty I'm talking to you all over the place, it's too confusing! I'm glad you agree about my chart. I'm on the 2/3WW now, I don't reckon there's any chance though but I too am going to be meticulous in my temping and opking next time.

knitter rats to AF. Join me in being meticulous next time. What a pain about the logistics. Glad to hear you're not slumming in in a tent, using a cholera-ridden toilet and washing yourself with a packet of baby wipes and a bottle of Volvic. (You can tell I just loved going to festivals in my youth.) What were you racing - pigeons?

stunned glad you're feeling better. To be honest I wouldn't like my husband in my counselling sessions. I think that it would stop me being totally honest. Can you not go individually? Do join us on ff if you want though, it can be quite complicated if you want to enter a lot of data but I just do the basic info. It makes you feel like you're doing something anyway. And the chat is nice and at least it's private (thank god!)

I'm on my own until Sunday. I'm already exhausted. I wouldn't mind if I then got to go off for five days somewhere but f course I don't. Bah!

Hi everyone

Stunned I dont temp or use opk's at the moment that is partly about having my head in the sand, and temping would be difficult because I work shifts and get up at very different times through out the week. Head in the sand is cause when last used opks I never got positives so worried my self sick I wasnt ovulating. I'm taking the have lots of sex approach.
I know from trying last time that I ovulate around day 16, 17, from the rare positive, and my cycles tend to be 31-34 days.

Well today I find myself in the worst/most inconvenient of all worlds...
Yesterday's spotting doesn't actually seem to have turned into my AF... My temps are going down but AF hasn't actually started. So I won't be getting my bloods done tomorrow after all as there is a limit to how far you can stretch a white lie :)

DH and DS headed off to Glastonbury without me last night as I thought I'd be having my blood tests tomorrow. But with no proper AF yet looks like I should have gone anyway as goodness knows when CD3 will be... I can get a lift down with my sister tomorrow so I will get to go to Glasto but still not ideal...

I've updated FF to show that I only had spotting yesterday.

My only other worry is that having had an ectopic previously weird cycles could be a sign of another one... I still had my period when I had my ectopic which was why I didn't know i was pg... Will do another pregnancy test tomorrow (might spoil myself with a CB Digital)

Sorry to be all me, me, me hugs to everyone

egg The racing was orienteering in a race called the Jukola it was a relay race and the first leg runner on my team came back in about 900th position. I brought us up 140 places which everyone was very excited about. The 3rd leg runner brought us up another 40 places and the final leg runner lost us about 50 - we all really enjoyed ourselves though - and we're already planning next years trip!!

Wow that sounds athletic knitter! well done

I noticed you've changed to spotting on FF. So you HAVE to have your bloods done on CD3, yes? Christ the timmings rotton isnt it? No experience of eptopic pg, but i know its a great cause for concern. Were you temping when you had it before? Does an eptopic show as a normal pg on a test? Sorry to ask you q's but feel i want to say something helpful and dont know enough about it to do that! Fingers crossed for you lovie that you'll just start your normal AF soon with a neg test - OR - you have a pos. and its good news!

flower - know just what you mean the head in the sand thing. I'm day 16/17 ov'er, cycle slightly shorter at 28 - 32. But i've got adicted to the OPK ing and its attatched worrying! It so darn easy to miss the surge anyway, or mistake an early surge for THE ONE. Egglets struggling with this very thing at the mo.

My OPKs are getting darker - see, thats another thing, if the hormones are there enough to give a line - when and why is a dark line a pos. line ! - Got a bit of EWM, but i dont think its time yet...

Egglet - i'm going to talk to you here as well petal, just to annoy you . i know you love me really

Hi everyone else. Hope you're all doing OK.

I've just had the plumber in for the umpteenth time this year already about my boiler and now he's condemned it. sigh. No emersion heater, so no hot water A bloody GAIN. Grrrrr. He says they'll fit an emersion for me asap, then its a new boiler. sigh.

I just HATE opks. I've never got a proper full on positive but I'm going to do them three times a day at the same time next month. I'm tempted to think it's because they're cheapos but mrsb uses the same ones with no problem. I think there's something weird about me...

knitter race sounds great, well bonkers but great. What a typical faff about af and your tests. Hope you get it sorted out.

misty you talk to me wherever you like my dear! That's crap about your boiler. Mine did that a couple of years ago and we replaced it after months of it breaking down. Cost a grand but was worth every penny.

I am still Coping Alone. Thank god for CBeebies.

Hope everyone else is ok. Xxx

Hey everyone I've not been on this much recently but I've had a quick look through the posts. Sorry to cremegg I remember talking with you before and I'm so sorry your pg didn't work out :-(

Big hello to everyone and cinnemondog hello to you hope you're around here somewhere, I think you're fab (for what it's worth) and you were a lovely person to chat to xxx

Hello to mrsbigz, myangelAva, misty0, and everybody else- sorry for lack of p's but it's been a while!

Hi to all the new ladies, sorry your here it's not somewhere anyone should ever end up:-(

Well I'm approaching my due date and it's the day after my son's birthday so I'm not sure how that will all pan out.......I'm busy organising him the party of the year at the mo and it helps take your mind off it. Also my best friends sister who was pg at the same time as me has now had her due date moved to the same as mine was. Terrible but it made me rather mad.....and I can't face her, saw her bump on facebook and it made me feel sick. I think once the due date has passed i will feel more able to move on.

As for peeing on sticks....I've binned them, we decided it was too much pressure and it was putting us off! So I'm going to relax and just let it happen when it's ready!

Hope all you lovely lovely ladies are as well as can be xxxxx

hi everyone

knitter you must be very fit!!

Egg I share your pain I never get full on positives either, I use cheap ones from amazon.

Misty poor you, hope you get your boiler fixed soon.

Bluecat good to hear from you. I found passing my due date changed things, I built up to it so much I ended up having time off sick, because I was so focused on what should have been and I was stressed at work and all I could think was I should be on maternity leave. Afterwards I let go and it was such a relief.

Mrsbigz says hi, we met for coffee this morning, weather could have been better this week, sunshine and showers.

I'm going to make myself really unpopular now and say - deep breath - i think the cheapy OPKs dont work!!!! Eeek. I said it. Sorry.

MrsB gave me a cheapy one to experiment with last month, and i dipped it along with one of my usual tesco ones when i was getting positives - same wee sample - and the tesco said VERY positive and the cheapy said negative ......

Totally forgot about it till now, reading the above. Probly should have mentioned it sooner ....

HELLO ladies :)
For some reason feeling in a good mood - lord knows why & I am sure it will crash soon but am enjoying it while it lasts.. Day 7 in the house hold - dug my cbfm out & started using again. My last cycle from Amelias birth was 35 days - normal a 28day girl
I have an app on my phone which after looking just now part of ff :) been using it for about a year or so now. I have never done temp'g - do you have to do it at same time etc
Oh note to self to get fitter...
Take care out there ladies
Have a good fida & even better weekend
X x

You might well be right misty, but one thing mrsb does that I don't (yet!) is do them at the same time each day. I have a stash of them to use up so I'll use them up and then perhaps try the Tesco ones instead. I actually think that ewcm is the best indicator, if you're getting that - get to it!

Hi bluecat it's so hard isn't it? I'm hoping I feel better after my due date (27th aug) like flower says. It's my daughter's birthday around then but I can't face organising a party as it would inevitably mean facing yet more pregnant friends. We're going to have a little tea party and take her to the zoo instead (which will no doubt be full of pregnant animals!) That's a big difficulty for me at the moment. I should be 32 weeks now and everytime I see a heavily pregnant woman, which is at least once a day, I think ungenerous thoughts about her and get upset all over again.

stunned glad you're feeling brighter. You're supposed to temp at the same time each day and it's a bit of a faff at first but once you get into the habit it's fine. It suits some people and not others, I like looking for patterns in it.

Anyway. Need to get the car to the garage as it's getting a long overdue service before we drive to France in a couple of weeks.

Have a good Friday everyone.
X

Morning ladies xx

Hello bluecat! Sorry your struggling with the due date coming up . Good that you can focus on your sons b.day preperations to an extent. It does help to have a distraction - although you can never put it out of your mind completely. Seems amazing to me that, since loosing baby, so many things seems to be coming to fruition mid Oct, when i was due. Not just other peoples pregnancys but projects, family events, OH's job deadline.... I'm always hearing "Oh - mid October" ..... and thinking - Baby was due then. It probably coincidence. Theres only 12 months in year.

Good for you for binning the sticks! 'Relax and let it happen' is the mental state we'd all probably strive for. lol. So well done xx

flower - so lovely that you and mrsb could meet up. Its really good to chat to someone who's 'been there' - and can empathise. Sunny and showery here too. Where is the summeeeeeeer??

stunned - images of you dusting off the cbfm in a cheerful mood. Love it Temping - doesnt have to be done at the same time every day - but does have to be done AS SOON AS YOU WAKE after 3 or more hours solid sleep. When you become concious - no sitting up, talking, drinking, or laying there thinking or wriggling about! Just reach out for the thermometer, stick it in you mouth, and take your temp right then. Sometimes i'm so bleary eyed i cant read the bloomin thing, lol. Also have gone back to sleep with it in my mouth a few times. Got one that bleeeps when its ready now so that helps.

egglet - morning dearest! Hows it going today? I bet you're coping just fine. Nice really for you and little one to have this time together just the two of you.

When we moved out here from London, ex stayed behind to work his notice, and i was alone for 2 weeks in the ramshackle cottage we'd just bought with my youngest (2 at the time, older 2 were with mum back in London) and all the unpacking and setting up of bedrooms for me and her ect to do. I was lost, and confused and missing my old home and friends. I discovered a huge overgrown pond at the end of the garden i didnt know was there so had to build a barrier to stop her and the dog drowning - organise the removal of all the filthy carpets the previous owners had left behind (from under all our boxes!) and get new ones. Clean the place from top to bottom and use a kitchen that was disgusting. Had to hack back the bushes so we could get up and down the front path, plus unpack and hump furniture around, while caring for little one. Daughter and dog kept escaping cos boundry fences were broken. Knew no one and nothing in the area, miles to the nearest DIY store, and Tesco - very rural, no computor - just the yellow pages!

And at the end of those 2 weeks i felt like i could do anything! Very empowering. Missed my 2 older kids more than ex, and had fallen in love with the place. Dont regret a minute of it.
xx

misty thanks for the advice, its better the opks not working than me not ovulating! Last time of trying I got a postive from really expensive ones clear blue I think and have got 1 positive from the cheapies, prop cause I tested at the right time. Then negatives so I stopped using them. I have started using the cheapies again this time, will now get some tescos too and do lots of peeing on sticks!

I thought you were supposed to temp at the same time each day. Not that I do. I think I'll try the Tescos opks next month actually. Splash out!

That sounds like a very empowering experience, misty. I do feel a bit more capable now, as I've never done this long on my own before. It's all fine. Hard work but fine and she is a little gem most of the time.

Hope everyone's having a nice weekend. It's really hot here but drizzly and humid. Monsoon season...

x

Yeah! Wet and warm here too. Realy 'close' as they say ...

Kat we posted within 10 seconds of each other here yesterday - didnt realise till now - oooooooooh, lol.

Glad you're feeling more confident now! You'll feel all intruded on when OH comes home now! Your territiory and all that. I've done a bit of sluething on your chart on FF ....

flower - yay for the stick peeing! Tesco are a bit pricey - but like you said, what price is finding out you're ov'ing regulaly and theres nothing wrong?

Kate - home again today? Hope you had a good time away, and will be getting on with the getting it on this week cos its ov week for you too isnt it?

I've had another strong pos OPK today and my boobs are still tender so i'm hoping this is it - BDing away

Happy Saturday ladies xx

Afternoon ladies
Hope you are having a fab weekend - not too bad, popped out to top my freckles up earlier & didn't stay long due to being too hot. Was at the gym for 0900hrs this morning and did a good 90mins work out. Rather proud of myself.
Does anyone else use the baby centre boards - find them a bit fickle as don't always get reply. Do use the TFMR one which isn't too bad although don't use same name as here.
Spoke to a friend who used to set an alarm to take temp at same time of day then go back to sleeps.
Day 10 here using cbfm - got two bars which is good so warned hubby I will not take no for an answer & no coming home saying he is tired lol
I used to get my ov test sticks from eaby as found other places rather costly. Got my cbfm sticks from amazon. As was cheapest place by nearly £10.
Rite time to try & look normal as going out to see friends later
Take care out there
X x