Weight gain 14kg at 32 weeks - feeling depressed

[PregnantandGrumpy]

I'm 32 weeks with 1st baby and feeling generally down and grumpy today so apologies for moaning. Just been weighed at the doctor's and have put on 14 kg - which is more than the 12.5kg I'm supposed to put on over the whole pregnancy and I've still got 8 weeks to go. I haven't been overeating and have tried to stay active (although have been very tired and slow lately) and I'm feeling like I've failed somehow by putting on too much weight (I know this is irrational and probably hormonal). It's made worse because I already have a high BMI - I weigh much more than you'd think from looking at me (doctor's often weight themselves to make sure the scales are right when they weigh me) even though I am size 14 normally and before I was pregnant was quite active and could run (maybe more like a jog) 10k.

Should I just try and do more exercise in these last few weeks (force myself down to the pool) or am I beating myself up unnecessarily?

Give yourself a break, it's not the end of the world. There could be any number of reasons for the weight gain, ie are you retaining water? Is your baby larger than average? Are your boobs v swollen and heavy?

I have read (I don't know if I believe it but then I did eat whole cakes at a time in the last weeks of my previous pregnancy so would have put weight on anyway) that weight gain generally stops at 36 weeks. So you only have another 4 weeks of putting weight on anyway.

Thanks Bessie - baby is currently measuring a little above average and am retaining a bit of water but nothing more than normal I think.

Lady in the Radiator - I think that the NHS say you shouldn't gain more than 2 stone - which is 12.5 kg.

Weight gain stops/slows for me at the end too, don't know why.

Between my friends and I our weight gain whilst pregnant varied enoromously I was at the top end (over 3 stone) but we all got back to 'normal' at about the same rate afterwards.

Please dont worry or beat yourself up about this. I have put on about 2 - 2 and 1/2 stone. which is roughly same as you or bit more (am 35 weeks). My weight gain has slowed down recently, my bump is getting bigger but weight staying same.

Eat when you are hungry, have some treats when you want them. If you fancy a swim or a walk then great but if you are not up to it dont beat yourself up about it.

Just look after yourself and think about weight lose a few month after having your baby.

Good luck

Thanks for the kind messages :-) Am feeling reassured.

I saw the doctor this morning and the baby is a little big for dates and I was worrying that there was something wrong with it (e.g. gestational diabetes) and it was my fault for a) being too fat in the first place and b) putting on too much weight whilst pregnant. Then felt depressed because I really haven't been eating a bad diet whilst pregnant - felt like I can't win whatever I do.

I think I'm being a bit silly and hormonal. The doctor did a glucose test and that's normal so I guess I can't have gestational diabetes. And she said she thought having felt the baby that it was normal sized, it was just the way I was carrying made me measure big.

Everything is just very worrying and it's harder to put into perspective when you're tired and hormonal and feeling like a whale!

PS I'm not weighing myself either - the doctor weighed me - first time since booking appointment and I was surprised I had put on so much!

I always thought it was between 2-3 stone that was 'safe'. I put on 3 stone for both of mine and although I was carrying around a bit extra after my son was born and have still managed to get back into the size clothing I was before. I was all baby in my bumps as well, they were huge!

Agree with all above, eat when hungry (you tend to eat less at the end because you can't fit it in with the baby!), if you feel like swimming then do but I wouldn't worry about it if you're too tired as you'll only end up floating

Keep up not weighing yourself, it's not worth the stress it may bring you. Enjoy being pregnant for the last few weeks, well as much as you can

2 stone, 12.5 kg, really? That's what the NHS says?? Am because I always think of 13kg as the minimum you'd expect a person of healthy weight to gain that was definitely true for me, I got loads of comments thru 3 pregnancies about my lack of bump and 13 kg was the min. I ever gained.

If you start pregnancy obviously too heavy (and let's face it, many women do), then maybe the weight gain rules make sense?

I would not worry about it but I do understand how you feel. I am only 18 weeks but I am finding the weight gain and changing shape of my body incredibly difficult to deal with. I am very body conscious and was very fit and slim before I got pregnant and so seeing the scales go up and my stomach and waist expand has been difficult. Plus the whole thing of "you should only put on 12.5 kilos" really pisses me off. Every person is different. The same way they say "you only should eat an extra 200 calories a day". Well, I am so much hungrier than before and I need to eat more than before, and more than 200 calories! All these rules - but each woman is different. My sil who is very slim has had 5 babies and some she put on 13 kilos, some 15 kilos. So your 14 kilos is not much at all. And they say you don't put much on at the end of the pregnancy so I wouldn't worry.

It is tough though - I completely understand how you feel. Sometimes I wonder if women are ever given a break about their bodies - we have to be thin when not pregnant and when pregnant, we can have a bump as long as the rest of us stays thin and we lose the rest straight after! Bloody media and celebrities!

As long as you're eating healthily and doing exercise, and feeling good in yourself and the baby is fine, it really doesnt matter how much weight you put on in pregnancy. I easily put on way over 2 stone in both my pregnancies - and the babies were fine (not ginormous, not tiny) and healthy. I also refused to be weighed. Focus on eating healthy foods, doing exercise you enjoy (pregnancy yoga, pilates, swimming, walking all great) and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

All the "rules" do get me down. If it was just me that was affected, I think I would feel much easier in not paying too much attention to them. They are just based on statistics and don't apply to everyone. For example, when I was 15 and a size 10 - 12, according to the BMI chart I was overweight. But I know that I wasn't and was in fact very sporty and active! But when you're pregnant you worry about the impact on the baby and it's harder to brush off.

All the stuff in the media about celebrities really doesn't help! Even though rationally you know that it's their job to look good and they have trainers and nutritionists and nannies etc etc etc....

God, I'd have been thrilled about only a 15kg weight gain in my first pregnancy! I gained somewhere in the neighborhood of 4 - 4.5 stone! But I felt well enough and though not nearly as active as I would have liked due to severe SPD, (could barely walk to the loo by 33 weeks) I lost every pound of it by 6 months after DD was born by simply eating healthily & daily walks round the park pushing DD in her buggy. I wasn't nearly as fit as you say you were prior to the pregnancy either! Don't stress about it - as long as you're eating right and get a walk in every day after the baby comes, you'll probably pop right back into your old shape very quickly. Numbers on a scale are just that - numbers. What matters is how you feel.

(And if the celebs in the media get you down - just remember the teams of people they employ to make themselves look good and the power of airbrushing!)

I've just converted my weight gain to kilos and it's 15.4. I'm also alot heavier than I look. When i'm 11 stone i can fit into size 10/12 clothes. I train 6 times a week (normally) and have a fitness instructor qualification, so I really wouldn't beat yourself up about being 2lbs over the recommended weight gain.

You are nowhere near my friend who I train with and is a PE teacher. She put on 7 stone during her pregnancy!!!!! The doctor said he had never met anyone who gained so much. She had spent many years working in a gym and having to watch what she ate, that she just thought what the hell, I'll just eat whatever I want. Not recommended at all but if you're eating reasonably sensibly (we can all sit there and scoff a box of chocolates occasionally) you'll be fine.

PregantandGrumpy - I'm only 29 weeks and am sick of the amount of people who feel it reasonable to comment on my size. "Ooh, you sure there's not two in there?"

My midwife does not weigh me. She doesn't measure my (enonrmous) bump and when I told her that I eat a healthy diet but suppliment it with treats she smiled and said something nice.

Give yourself a break.

I have decided that I'm either carrying a big baby or more than average fluid.

Yama - Oh my god, I am so sick of being told how enormous I am. No-one EVER says "oh you look nice" any more, they just laugh and say how huge I am. And I get the "do you think it's twins" all the time as well.

I think I look especially enormous because I'm only 5' 2" and now most of me is bump.

I am giving myself a break now - and am just eating a fruit and nut bar

I'm absolutely massive, and have stopped standing on the scales because I just don't want to know anymore how big I've got! With me, a lot of it seems to be water my legs, arms, feet and hands are very swollen though quite a bit is fat too . I feel unbelievably heavy and am hoping LO will be early cos I'm not sure I can bear this for another 4 weeks! But it's totally worth it for the baby, and I'm going to go to Weightwatchers after the birth to help shift the poundage.

You should count yourself lucky about the twins remarks - because mine is twins, i get, are you sure there's only 2 in there?!!! It's funny when they say 'oh not long for you' and i have to say, well actually i have 3 months to go!!!! They look very shocked. Just how big can one person get......guess i'm about to find out!!!

Sassy - I am constantly getting shocked looks when I say how long I have to go - I think ppl are not used to seeing women at 8/9 months because they are probably not at work - so can't imagine what it's like with twins. It is quite funny, I say now, "yes it's true, I will get bigger". Can't imagine how though.

Someone was once commenting on how tired and fed up and drained I was looking (it was a good day and I had make up on and had foolishly thought I looked quite nice) and said I was obviously clearly ready for the baby to come out. I said that I still had three months to go - she replied with "THAT is 6 months???!!!!" How rude!

Good luck with the twins

I am really sorry for you, OP. But I am frankly amazed you are worried by 14kg - I have read in several places that the average weight gain is 15kg, so you are roughly on course for that. Please try not to stress - a chunk of it will go in the first week after birth (baby, fluid etc).

I was a size 10 all my adult life until I had my DD, now 18 months. I put on (gulp) 24kg. No one told me it was too much, but it was. I don't even eat cakes, but I had been mainlining fruit juice and it's just sugar water. I'd lost 12kg of that by the time DD was 1, then I got pregnant again in January with that 12 still to go. I am now about 22 weeks and I have only put on just over 3kg but that's because I am paranoid and it's rather sad. Don't end up like me. Don't let it spoil your pregnancy and know that even a simple thing like going on nice long walks with the buggy will get rid of the baby weight. And tell those rude people who make unhelpful remarks that they are upsetting you.

Oh yes, the "not long now comments". Or the utter shock when I'm asked how long I have left to go. Even nice people just can't hide their shock.

My dh tries to make me feel better by insisting that folk are not commenting on my body but the size of the bump. I don't know about that.

I have never in my life commented on the size of a person's body except to say something nice.

I'm 16 weeks and my brother keeps telling everyone I must be carrying twins because I'm "so huge". I'm not and he thinks he's being funny but it's made me really paranoid and feeling down.
That plus all this "recommended weight gain" rubbish is not helping at all as I've put on 7lbs already which is more than they say I should.
Screw it I say, I'm eating healthily and am reasonably active - what more can you do?!