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Original poster

Do u have to let dp/dh choose the baby's name?

33 replies

LollipopSweetiePie · 23/07/2005 14:29

Do you really have to let dp choose one of the babies names? Anyone got away with choosing the names for both sexes then dp just agreeing whether they're suitable? I really really really think it's one of the biggest things about having a baby and I have really strong feelings about wanting to use my names, and if dp wants to use a name I will be gutted! Even if I let him choose the boys name and me the girls, I dont wanna end up with a Walter or a Eric or somthing!

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snafu · 23/07/2005 14:31

Is he likely to choose Walter or Eric? Couldn't you decide between the two of you? I think it's only fair to let him have a say - it's his child too.

sparklymieow · 23/07/2005 14:33

we didn't have a name for DD2 and we couldn't agree, I wanted megan, and got my way in the end, I named her just after she was born and Dh was so happy he had another girl, he just agreed!!

coppertop · 23/07/2005 14:33

We decided on names that we both liked. It takes a long time because you can almost guarantee that your favourite name happens to be the name of someone that your dh/dp really hated at school.

Original poster
LollipopSweetiePie · 23/07/2005 14:33

How about if I gave him a list of names that I like and asked him which he liked too?

OP posts:
snafu · 23/07/2005 14:34

Well, yes that's a resonable starting pont - as long as he can give you a list of his favourite names back

Original poster
LollipopSweetiePie · 23/07/2005 14:35

Noooooooo...lol!!!
No names from him!
Ok, i'm acting like a spoilt, selfish little so and so, I know, I know!

OP posts:
Twiglett · 23/07/2005 14:35

I got annoyed cos DH wouldn't suggest any names .. apart from a really really weird one .. all he did was say no if he really didn't like one

munz · 23/07/2005 14:37

we've been throwing names out there and thinkin about them together, so far we agree on a few then the week after don't like either but it's nice the way we're doing it, it also means DH feels more involved with everything, as I know he's feeling a bit left out at the minute.

Nemo1977 · 23/07/2005 14:37

MY dh and i choose together if there is a name one of us doesnt like then it is wiped off the list. With Ds name choice was really easy as we both loved his name. However this time we have favourites but nothing solid as such...still have got a bit longer to go.

nutcracker · 23/07/2005 15:23

Hmm well we argued about names with all 3 pregnancies.
With Dd1 we decided on and agreed on Nikita, but as her birth got closer I changed my mind and managed to get all the staff in the theatre to persuade Dp to have Lauren Amy instead

Dp did pick Dd2's and I do regret that but I was just so knackered and shocked (she was early) that I just gave in. I wanted Eloise, but he picked Chloe, so she is Chloe Eloise.

Ds's name was sort of picked by my dad. I mentioned that if it was a boy I would consider naming it after my dads dad (Harry) and so my dad told everyone that we were calling him that.
Luckliy I liked it anyway. Dd2 picked his middle name, Thomas.

I would say that it's ok for him to pick but you have to like it too.

kama · 23/07/2005 15:27

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kama · 23/07/2005 15:29

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ediemay · 23/07/2005 15:31

You could try the approach Rachel used in 'Friends' - "no uterus, no opinion!"

Original poster
LollipopSweetiePie · 23/07/2005 15:33

Yea, who has carried the baby for 9 months and gone thru morning sickness and everything else? Surely the reward for that (apart from the baby being healthy and with you) should be to be able to choose the name!

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jessicaandbumpsmummy · 23/07/2005 16:03

My DH isnt all that bothered by names..... switches off when i start to throw names about!

I chose Jessica's name while he was in Iraq and told him 2 days before i had her what i had chosen! Luckily he liked it!

This time, we have a boys name settled (that i chose) but we are still umming and ahhhing over a girls name, mainly because i want the middle name to be Alison after my mum.... try finding a traditional NICE name to go with that!

Lonelymum · 23/07/2005 16:28

I have 4 children, each with 2 names and dh chose one of those names - ds3's middle name. All the rest, i chose, although I suppose he had an input into ds1's name as his middle name is dh's middle name too.

moondog · 23/07/2005 16:35

kama,my grandfather wanted to call my aunt after a past wartime Continental love. Unfortunately it was a French name (in the 40s when everyone seemed to be called Pat and Margaret) so my grandmother sussed straight away and put her foot down.

Let dh choose??? You must be joking! Who did all the bloody work? I pretended to consider his tentative (and frankly ludicrous suggestions) but obviously had no intention of taking them seriously.

Lonelymum · 23/07/2005 16:37

Exactly Moondog. Not only is it a question of who did all the work but also who is going to be using the child's name most? (Sorry, just a bit bitter at being left for a week while dh enjoys the delights of China).

spidermama · 23/07/2005 16:37

I think the mum chooses the name. Especially if you already have his surname.
That said, I would never choos a name he wasn't happy with.

moondog · 23/07/2005 16:39

I agree spider. Think it's unspoken etiquette. (Mind you,don't have my dh's last name either.)

SoupDragon · 23/07/2005 17:29

Sorry, but I think you should choose a name between you. The child "belongs" to both of you.

Having said that, DH went along with both my suggestions for our DSs despite my parting comment, before going off for repair work after DS1, "You've got your son, call him what you like." Sensible chap stuck with what we'd agreed.

bonym · 23/07/2005 17:35

We discussed names endlessly and in the end, agreed on the only one that we both liked. It wouldn't have been my first choice tbh but it was the only one we could agree on!

Lonelymum · 23/07/2005 17:38

SD, we did agree our names between us, but I was the one who came up with most of them. I only agreed to dh's choice of middle name for ds3 becasue I felt he was owed a choice. Also, it was a compromise as dh wanted it for his first name.

SoupDragon · 23/07/2005 17:44

DSs both have DHs choice of middle names actually. I did sneak one extra in for DS2 so he'd have the same number as DS1 and that caused a few arguments.

Miaou · 23/07/2005 18:27

For our two dds, dh and I had a baby naming book and put a mark next to each name we liked. Then we went through the book and compiled a list of all the names we had both ticked (only about a dozen or so for each sex). Then spent the next few months thinking about which ones we could imagine saying 100+ times a day for the rest of our lives!!! It was definitely a joint decision though.

This one has been a little more complicated - but at one point dh called up lots of baby naming websites and read out all the names he liked, and I made a list of the ones I liked as he read them out. Then we let the dds say which they liked best out of our list. So now we have a short shortlist - haven't got any further though!

It was important to us that everyone felt involved in the process and certainly that dh and I were/are both happy with the name we chose/choose.