A gentle thread for those starting again after a difficult pregnancy, miscarriage etc.

[woollyjo]

I've just discovered I am 5.5 weeks pregnant.

In the last 2 years I have had 2 mcs and our dd2 was stillborn at term.

So I don't feel like I fit into the antenatal threads, and don't want to frighten anyone with my experiences.

Anyone else out there who needs a gentle thread?

Welcome moneli, I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your baby
I don't have any advice I am afraid, but do know that there is a section in becoming a parent called antenatal tests and choices. There are lots of ladies who have been in a similar situation to you and who may be able to offer you some advice and support on planning your next pregnancy.
I hope you don't mind me mentioning this and it is not because you will get no support here you will, a lovely bunch of ladies.
Take care x

Hi Moneli - I'm afraid I can't really offer any advice but wish you lots of luck & hope you're ok after such a difficult time.

Hairy - great to hear from you & fingers X'd this little bean becomes a very big healthy one! Wishing you lots of luck all the way.

I'm 23 weeks now - never thought I'd say that! Still worry every day but hoping it all goes ok.

Good luck everyone xx

Thanks OneBabyPlease and Hairy for your replies. I will look up that other section, thanks x

Hi Ladies,

Hope you are managing to rest up xxktxx as much as you need to.

Hi Hairy great to hear from you - keeping everything crossed (having to the SPD is kicking in already).

Onebaby glad the house move is going ahead when do you think you'll be moving?

Hi Moneli so sorry to hear what you've been through. Our dd2 was stillborn in June (I'm 37) we waited until after my first period before we tried again and caught 2nd cycle (so 10 weeks between the pgs, I'm now 24 weeks). I completely understand your wish to get started again. I would say that I am exhausted most of the time, which I didn't have at this stage with either of my other 2 pgs not sure how much of this is physical and how much is still the grieving process for dd2. I was told that it wouldn't really matter how long we waited the next pg would be hard. Good luck whatever you decide keep in touch if you fancy some hand holding.

yep been resting up and no one has been visiting as i keep roping people into my hoovering soon as they walk through the door lol x well i "let" them have a cuppa first but they have all wised up to me pouncing on them to do my housework and now im resting and lonely hehe.....but still holding on and time goes so bloomin slow when u are counting the days ....27+1 today x
how is everyone else??

Hmph woken up to snow this morning - DD has already been out to play in it and is now bored of it and my allotment plans are out for today.

Where is the Spring?

I dunno but I wish it would hurry up - I can barely get my winter coat done up anymore but I'm b*ggered if I'm buying a new one for the next few months!
Day off today - hurrah - dinner with hubby & maybe cinema later, chores today.
Hope to be moving in the next 4-6 weeks really, I'll keep you posted.
Have a nice Sunday everyone & kt don't you even move a muscle!

Been wearing an assortment of other people's coats and big jumpers all winter. I needed a new coat last winter but didn't get one because I was pg, at the first sign of frost this winter the zip broke and I've been looking like a tramp ever since - another reason to yearn for spring!

Next year - a beautiful, flattering new winter coat for me!

Hello Ladies,

Hope you all had a calm week.

Got a spa day tomorrow (xmas pressie from DH) planning to take a good book and the saturday paper.

Take care

Ooh how lovely! DH is very good, isn't he?! Put your feet up & chill out!
I am doing NOTHING this weekend I hope! Catching up on some sleep after a busy week at work mostly!
Hope everyone else is ok too.
Take it easy girls x

hi girls...hope you are all cooking nicely and sending buns to the ones who want them xxxxx well....i have finally reached 28 weeks as of 00.00 midnight tonight xx i am very happy but as i am prone to early labour and with a positive fibronectine test behind me i am well aware im not quite out of the woods yet but i can see the light through the trees...sending my love to all of you xxx good luck all

I've been reading this thread and it has reduced me to tears. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I had my first miscarriage in October and at 39 my age is against me. I did a pregnancy test last night and it was just about positive (I reckon I'm only 22 days pregnant so a very faint line but a line nevertheless). I'm not sure how to feel - part of me wants to explode with excitment and happiness but I'm too scared as I know how cruelly it can be taken from you. So how do you balance the two?! I just don't know how to feel. I'm terrified actually - that's how I feel. How on earth am I going to get through the next few weeks at least until the 12 weeks scan, assuming the pregnancy lasts that long?

I have just been reading your thread and want to wish you all the best luck in the world.You are all so brave and wonderful.

Trish - welcome & congratulations! Try to relax as much as you can, look after yourself & keep everything crossed - there is nothing else you can really do unfortunately - what will be will be, wishing you lots of luck. You're in the right place to share your experience,fears etc. Take a day at a time xx

Fidelma - thanks for the kind words & good wishes xx

Kt1 - so pleased you're still hanging in there! Take it easy & hope you have a an event-free week xx

How was the spa Woolly? Hope you're feeling relaxed & rejuvenated! xx

The spa was lovelly! never been to one before, a massage, facial and some nail polish,lunch, half an hour in the gym (to show willing)and a swim than home to an empty (yet trashed) house enjoying a bit more peace (I'm so chilled out I could just put on my pjs and go to bed!).

Hi Trish welcome aboard - I can guarauntee you'll be knicker checking manicly for most of your pg (or is that just me - still doing it at 25 weeks). If you have had an MC you should be able to get a reassurance scan at 8 weeks which may break up the waiting for you. I had to push quite hard for one after my first MC so try and get to see the GP a bit earlier (5-6weeks) as they have to book it (at least that's the case round here. As Onebaby said tiny steps, be kind to yourself, take the path of least resistance everytime if you can.

Thinking of you KT another week ticked off - hooray!

Have you started packing yet onebaby?

Take care all

Woolly, sounds like you've had a LOVELY day! How relaxing!

Yep, I'm still knicker checking constantly too & I'm 24 weeks today. Can't believe I've got this far, can feel my son moving all the time, he's very active, so amazing. DH is being great too, he's very excited!

No, we haven't thought about packing yet - ought too in the next few weeks I suppose! We've got a tiny flat at the moment so it shouldn't take too long which is the only bonus!

I am in my PJs already! How sad is that?! Saturday night - I'm so rock n roll!

Have a good weekend everyone xx

oh how brilliant i felt when i reached 24 weeks as hospitals dont seem to wanna help before that date..what a brilliant milestone xx
trish - congratulations and hope u have a quick but full 38-40 weeks xx

Everyone's so lovely on this thread - thank you so much for your understanding. And it's great to hear such positive stories - there is hope! Having said that don't want to get carried away. You're so right WoolyJo about the knicker checking - I'm already going to the loo constantly but I'm making additional visits just to see if there's anything I should be worrying about.

I'm waking up at stupid o'clock which is what happened with my first child - so that's a reassuring sign. And sickness is already kicking in, so again all reassuring although could be totally psychological!

The hope and willing to have a baby cannot be underestimated and it's really hard to balance that with realism and not wanting to get too carried away. And of course my other half doesn't want us to tell a soul before 12 weeks which is killing me - I've been so desperate to get to this point I want to talk about it now!

I had a scan already booked to check the last miscarriage had completely come out (I'm sure there's a technical term for that!) and I'm wondering whetehr to go regardless of the pregnancy and beg them to look for a heartbeat - it will only be at 6 weeks at that point though. What do you think?

They can just see a heartbeat at 6 weeks (I had a scan at 7 weeks, baby was 2cm long)but it will have to be an internal scan which I think they only do at the Early Pg Assessment Units.

Good luck

Hey Trish - I think Woolly's right - I've had very early scans where they've seen a heartbeat but they've all been internal so you'd be better going to your GP & getting referred to an early pregnancy unit.
Hope it all goes well.

When is this rain ever going to stop? Am yearning for some sunshine & bright crisp days! What a tediously long winter.
Roll on summer. . . .

Have a nice day ladies xx

Thanks OneBabyPlease and Woollyjo - this is at Kings Hospital in London so they cover everything in the same unit, including early pregnancy scans. In fact, it was an internal scan I was going to have anyway just to check everything out. I think I'm going to turn up to the appointment, explain the situation and beg them. The worst they can say is no!

I agree the rain is not good - roll on Spring! That'll make us all feel a whole lot better I'm sure.

Have a lovely day - take advantage by resting and putting your feet up!

x

A bit of sunshine! ooh that does feel better!

Hey all,
I am am a patient at kings. The unit you woul dhev been booked to have your scan is the same place as the early pregnancy unit so the chances are that they will have a look for you. It will be an internal scan at that stage though.

I'm struggling a bit at the moment. Its all just so emotionally draining, and the further along I get the more scared I get. Not only of loosing this little one, but of it all. I guess sometimes the reality of the loss just kicks in again too. I can;t believe that I really won't ever get to hold my little man ever again.

Anyway, sorry to drag things down.
Hope you are all well,
rx

Mrs - such a difficult time for you - no wonder you're struggling. But you're being very brave in going through all this & I hope you have a healthy bundle of joy at the end of it. I know it won't take away any of your pain but I wish you lots of luck & future happiness xx

Yes Woolly - am with you re the sunshine. My wishes have been answered! Hope it continues for a few days.

Take care everyone xx

Completely with you on that one Mrs I go from being excited and pleased to terrified very quickly. Seeing my consultant on the 18th, really hoping she'll give me an induction date I'm gunning for as soon after 37 weeks as they can fit me in - think I'll be a wreck if they leave it any longer.