Could this be a miscarriage? I'm terrified!

[Kaylo]

Hi everyone, theres gonna be TMI in here so I apologize in advance.

I'm (hopefully) 5+5 weeks pregnant with DC3. Last night I started bleeding, looked like mucus/snot mixed with blood - bright red!!

I checked again 10minutes later and it had gone browny/reddish in colour so thought phew maybe it's gone! Just a blip maybe?

This morning I went for my usual morning wee and there were clots Quite a few of them each about 1cm, I'd say there were 4 or 5 altogether. Blood was still red and has been a steady flow for most of the day.

Now however there is barely any blood - it's never been heavy - just when I wipe iykwim. And now it's just a little bit red now and mainly brown, but theres hardly anything there.

I'm confused, scared, and worried sick. I've never bled with my previous 2 pregnancies, and never miscarried.

Please advise me on what I should be thinking.

I've got an appointment at the EPU on Friday where they're gonna scan me.

xxx

fingers crossed bambino let us know how u get on xxx

Oh My God!!

I hope you and your bean are ok!!!

xxx

Bambino??

I hope you're ok - thinking of you.

I'm very emotional today, I think everything is catching up on me. I can't go back to the ante-natal thread I was on - although I'm happy for every one of them!! Theres talk of heartbeats on there now and I couldn't help it, I just cried. I will pop back to check on them though.

Kisses - How are you holding up chick? Thinking of you too - it's not easy I know...Hope the pain has eased for you.

I understand what you mean about medical intervention 'feeling' like a termination. And I agree with you - the baby we lost was also very much wanted which I think has made the decision to TTC again quickly a lot easier. Just hope getting pregnant/staying pregnant is as easy...

Love to All

xxx

hi guys,

i was in the hospital until 2am. so tiered had to have three internals. im 4weeks according to docs. they couldnt find the sack anywhere, the doc says maybe its too early to see. i hope so, theres a chance of octopic. i have to go back tomorrow night for bloods to rule it out. the doc says he realy thinks i am ok and that not finding the sack is usual this early on. that every thing internaly is what it should be but i have to get these bloods just to rule it out. evenwith this reassuring news it is still very hard to be positive.

kaylo, keep ur chin up, some days will prob be easier than others but u will be fine, promise. it will take time for u to heal.

kaylo, kisses and everyone who has given advice, thank you so much, i just hope its ok. never been so beside myself with worry before.

xxx

Oh Bambino I hope you're ok! Get some rest and try to relax. I know what you mean about the worry - funny how something/one you've never met can set off that protective motherly instinct so fiercely!!

I'm very relieved to hear from you and so glad things seem to be ok. Let us know how your bloods go.

xxx

Hi Kaylo

Thank you for your messages they've helped I have another scan at 9.30am in the morning terrified, what do I do if my little bean is still inside me, do I let them carry out with medical intervention or do I ride it out naturally, this is killing me I don't know how i'm supposed to feel, act or be like, i'm lost.

Particlarly if my little bean is there but still with no heartbeat.

I can't look at my scan picture it upsets me too much, I wanted this baby so much its unbelievable.

I do know what you are going through Kaylo and am very much hoping that you are being looked after and taking it easy. The grief will catch up with you, you need to take some time to yourself and rest.

Bambino, i'm thinking of you and praying that everything will be ok for you, the doctors are right its too early to see anything at the moment, for now bed rest and more bed rest and listen to what the doctors are telling you to do.

For now I just have to wait until tomorrow morning to see my fate.

Wishing everyone a peaceful and safe night. Love k xxx

Morning guys

just thought I would let you call know that I passed my little bean at about 10pm last night.

Still have to go to the clinic tomorrow morning, am very very sad, first miscarriage not sure how i'm supposed to be feeling, what I am supposed to be doing, feeling very very numb and empty and alone.

Ambulance have been and said I need to just keep resting my body has been through a lot i'm devasted and just want to cry and cry and cry.

If anyone wants to stay in touch my email is [email protected] I will be touching base every once in a while on here.

Take care everyone stay safe xxxx

So sorry kisses.

There is no right way to feel, or act, or behave. Do what you feel you need to do.

Cry if you need to, don't try to rush yourself into feeling 'better' than you really do. Take each hour, each day one at a time. Gradually you will feel stronger, but don't be surprised if you have days when it all hits you afresh.

You have coped with the events of the last week with dignity and compassion for the other on this thread, and I respect you for that.

Take care of yourself.

Thanks piprabbit myself and my partner are going to plant a rose bush at the weekend in memory.

Take care of yourself. k xxx

That is a wonderful idea.

I have a charm bracelet with charms for all my pregnancies, successful or not. It's not something I wear in public often, but I feel a need to remember all my babies in a tangible way and feel better knowing that I have it.

Yes me too I just want him (because I believe it was a boy) to know that he was loved and very much wanted because he was and that he will be loved for the rest of his life

xxxx

OK - now you set me off, sobbing gently over keyboard, remembering my babies.
I feel as though there was such a thin line between them making it or not, a slightly different chromosome here, a blocked tube there, that they need to be remembered as loved and wanted babies.
With the best will in the world, medical staff can make you feel like your are fussing about nothing, a little bundle of cells. But, as I said before, you invest your hopes and dreams in that bundle and I know I would have cherished them had they lived and the memory of them also needs to be cherished.

Good grief, just reread my emotional waffling. I hope it helps you, but would quite understand if I'm not making sense to you.

No at this stage waffling is good I understand what you mean and appreciate very much you chatting to me xx

Oh, you too have me crying buckets!!!

Kisses I'm not sure what to say either. The way you're feeling sounds very normal - I'm the same. I've never been through this and I have no idea what I should be feeling, doing, saying??

I hope you're able to take something positive from this and be able to move on - I hope that doesn't sound bad, I don't mean it badly.

Ok, what I mean is...I've been telling myself it just wasn't meant to be this time. It was out of my and everyones control - Gods Will I guess. Angels are sometimes needed back earlier than expected.

Another kind of positive thing I took from my experience was the fact that my husbands cousin's girlfriend recently had a very heartbreaking miscarriage - she was full term - well 39+4 days. And the baby just passed away before birth.
At least this mc happened so early - to me it's better now than to carry for 9 months expecting a healthy baby.

This isn't intended to upset and I am sincerely sorry if it has - I'm just trying to help the positive things come to light.

I think it's a great idea about the rose bush - remembered with each flower. And the charm bracelet is also another thoughtful way to acknowledge all children.

I have to go now as I'm at work but just want to let you know that I', thinking of you - this is such a hard thing to go through so be kind to yourself and let people take care of you.

Love
Kaye
[email protected]

Hi Kaye

Thanks i'm trying to stay positive and am going to try and go back to work tomorrow I only work Monday to Thursday so hopefully it won't be too bad although I know people are going to ask me what happened and I know this is going to upset me but I have to be prepared for that I can't stay locked away forever.

I know it will getter in time, but for the moment it feels like the hardest thing in the world to deal with.

I know you too are going through the same thing and my thoughts are with you too. I have placed a precious stone in my purse my little memory to keep with me every day for the rest of my life.

My little angel is at peace now and i'm lucky in the respect that I did see him. He is going to be cremated and then buried in the pot with the rose bush, so if I move house my rosebush and my angel will always be with me.

Thanks you have helped me a great deal I really appreciate it.

I have put your email in my contact box mine is [email protected] anytime you want a chat feel free to email me.

Take care

Love Kate xxx

hi guys

hope u are all ok. want to just hug u all!!!
bloods came back fine thank god, i was in such a mess over the weekend, i have to go back to the hospital for a scan in two weeks which wll just confirm my bloods. i am so grateful for all ur support i honestly dont know what i could do with out you. even with all that happened over the weekend i can still only get a midwife app end of october!!!!! disgrace.

i hope it gets easier for u guys, kisses i am so sorry for u that this process took so long for u, kaylo to u also i hope u both will be fine. u will both have healthy lovley babys soon i promise.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh dear have just typed a big huuuuge post and accidentally cancelled it

oooooops!

What it basically said is....

Kisses I have added you into my contacts also so you know where I am if you need a chat hun Things will get easier but I understand that at the moment it doesn't seem that way.
The first day back at work is tough but hopefully your colleagues will back off and understand the sensitivity of the situation.
Take Care sweetie xx

Bambino Words can't say how relived I am for you!! Didn't want to see anymore bad news on this thread! Don't worry about when the mw appointment is, even at the end of October you'll be around 8-9 weeks - some areas refuse to see you til you're 10-12 weeks!!
You take care yoo honey - these are very important and fragile days for!
xxx

Am soooo looking forward to being pregnant again very soon. Bleeding has totally stopped now so will start TTC again in the next few days.

xxxxxx

good luck kaylo.

xxxxxx

Thanks Kaylo

Went back to work today, everyone was brilliant. Because of where I work we are not allowed to take our cars any further than the company car park, but they have said I can take mine to right outside my office if I want to.

Its still very hard and lots of tears today (one guy came by my office didn't say anything just gave me some chocolate and smiled), how sweet.

Good luck Bambino, i'm really pleased that things are going well for you, look after yourself and your little bean and listen to what your body is telling you to do if you are tired rest etc etc.

Kaylo I will definitely catch you soon.

Take care everyone

Lots of love kate xxx

Kisses sounds like your colleagues are very understanding indeed and are takling care of you. Bless the guy with chocolate, awwwww - thats very kind of him.

Hope you're well,

Bambino Hope things are well with you too hun xxx

xxxxx

oooops sorry. Should have been TAKING care of you. Not takling

Bambino pleased things are still ok, continue caring for yourself.

Kaylo thanks only went to work for a few hours but yes they have been brilliant.

just really struggling at the moment to eat all i want to eat is chocolate and sweet things.

catch you guys soon xxx

Bambino02

Jus wanted to say that I had to attend EPU for early scan due to bleeding and cramps and they couldnt see anything... but two weeks later the scan showed twins - sat by me now on the Wii aged 5.

good luck to everyone.

I am seven weeks with 3rd baby and never bled with my two boys (8 & 5) I started bleeding yesterday and went to the hospital and am now booked in for EPU scan on tuesday. I had to have an internal and then the bleeding seemed to get a little heavier but not like a period. I have a period like cramp but its more annoying than painful. Please could someone let me know if they have had anything like this. I am thinking the worst and petrified!!! I had a scan as well and they said it was all in the right place and closed tight, if that makes any difference. Thanks for any help.