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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Sick to death of being called 'fat'

39 replies

MamaLazarou · 16/09/2009 07:23

I wasn't fat before I was pregnant. I am not fat now. I have a big belly, granted, but that is full of baby, placenta and fluid, NOT fat.

So why do people think they have the right to call me fat? Every time I speak to my mum, she gleefully asks, 'Are you getting fat yet?' or, 'Will you still be working in January, or will you be too fat?'.

A woman I barely know came up to me at work yesterday and said, 'All right tubs!'. I just stared at her in shock and anger. She was hardly sylph-like herself!

I am NOT 'fat', I am PREGNANT. Show a bit more respect!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MmeLindt · 16/09/2009 07:33

You are well within your rights to give them a kick in the shins, then burst out crying and blame it on the hormones.

Cheeky beggars.

ohnelly · 16/09/2009 08:22

Get a tshirt with im not fat im pregnant on it! And feel free to answer back 'whats your excuse' that will shut them up!!

glasgowlass · 16/09/2009 08:33

I got this all the time when pregnant, I am a nauturally thin person and everyone called me "wee fat glasgowlass" when pregnant!
It bloody annoyed me as i didnt put on a lot of weight, had massive bump but was all baby. I think they thought it was funny to call me "fat" as I am normally so slim. I did snap back one time that I was not fat at all, I was carrying a baby FFS! I wish I had asked them what their excuse was?

I also got "how will you cope with all the baby weight?" Well I coped fine thanks, considering it was all baby!

I couldnt win though as when I had DS I was back in old clothes after 4 days(MW ho delivered DS couldnt believe how flat my tummy was just after birth), then was accused by Community MW and HV of starving myself as "I must feel pressured by all the thin celeb mums" WTF? I couldnt give a flying about so called celeb mums! In the end my GP had to step in when HV, whom I had met once, had a meeting with her to discuss my "dramatic weight loss". GP told her I was always a "slight girl" and was a very sensible and educated one to boot! ARRRGGGHHH it still annoys me 10 months later!

So please dont take it, just say your not fat thanks very much, you are infact pregnant!

hettie · 16/09/2009 08:57

oh god how rude! why on earth should anyone feel free to comment on pregnant ladies- it would be social death to call someone not pregnant fat! I too am slight when not preg- and got massive bump last time and seem to be getting bigger faster this time and although I haven't had the 'fat' comment I do get lots of -ohhh bump already, siz of bump already...type comments. AND I too lost weight/bump fairly quickly after birth (around 4 months when ds had massive growth spurt adn I was breast feeding night and day!) and had HV asking if I was eating enough . Best thing is to ignore and give dirty look or say " I'm sorry, but do you realsie although I'm not easily offended insensitive/rude comments like that could be very upsetting for someone else, please consider what you are saying in the future."

1mum1 · 16/09/2009 18:22

Just rub your tum and smile and say yes, I'm soo happy! You know you're not fat and that's all that matters. Even if you were - sod 'em.

Rosesinautumn · 16/09/2009 18:40

See, nobody would ever say this to me because I am actually fat (and pregnant) and would be too scared in case I had just been troughing pies. People only say it to thin people because they think 'oh she knows she's not fat really and it's only a joke!'

Not a very funny one though and insensitive to boot - don't people realise that most women are sensitive about their changing bodies? Preggo women should only get comments about how fabulous they look (regardless of the reality). I think headbutting is a totally legit response to a comment like this!

lljkk · 16/09/2009 18:43

Lie thru your teeth? On the phone tell your mum you're big as a house? It's what she wants to hear, so just let her believe it.

My poor older brother, has put on a lot of weight after 40 and can't shift it. He is SO anxious about my weight; he keeps asking me on the phone about it. He'd feel much better if I went porcine plump, too.

And it just ain't happening, heehehe. I'm as skinny as ever.

daisy71 · 21/09/2009 11:00

I have a friend who is quite fat, whereas, although not skinny, I am slim (10-12) when not pregnant. I put on a lot of weight when I am preg (4 stone last time, 3 and 2 lbs at 36 weeks this time) and it took a long time to lose it last time. Anyhow, this friend clearly takes great delight in the fact that I am now the largest in the group (although I think she still weighs a stone more than me) and every time I see her, comments on how 'fat' I am. Being polite, I have tried to bite my lip, but the last time she said it I said "Well you're lucky I don't say the same to you Claire!" She looked a bit taken aback but said "You can if you like" so I said "next time I will then". Needless to say, when I saw her on Sat, even though I am clearly humungous not a word did pass her lips about 'fat'. Ha!
Another obese woman at my work, (who is also very ugly) has made similar comments-I am so fed up and snappy at the moment, I am willing her to say something so that I can unleash my wrath!!!
Oh and an autistic boy in my class called me Humpty Dumpty. I told him that if he wanted me to make personal comments about him, I was more than happy to do so. Again no more comments from that quarter....

iateallthecreameggsyummy · 22/09/2009 09:10

everytime i leave my flat i get called Fatty by my neighbour! I laugh it of I know i have put weight on but am so proud that my little baby is growing well that i dont care! Sod em all i say and enjoy it.

corblimeymadam · 22/09/2009 09:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CakeBuddy · 22/09/2009 09:59

Just think ladies - even if we do get a bit 'fat' during pregnancy, we'll have beautiful healthy babies at the end of it, and then we'll go back to our normal shape (whatever that is).

But the people saying these things will still be gob-shites!

AitchTwoToTangOh · 22/09/2009 10:08

well, spare a thought for people who are fat and have to put up with this rubbish when they're walking down the street. you're saying 'fat' as if it's disgusting or something, honestly how insulting to those people who are overweight.

yours is a temporary condition, it's a perfectly standard (if rather boring) thing to say to a pregnant woman. your friends and colleagues can't possibly be expected to know that you can't take a joke.

in all sincerity, i'd have a think about your own body image if you can't just shrug off being called fat during the one time in your life when you are gloriously, gorgeously, life-givingly fat. especially those of you about to have baby girls.

NewbeeMummy · 22/09/2009 10:46

I don't mind the fatty comments from friends and colleagues as they all know I'm a size 6-8 pre pg, and have even called the massive bump I now have "Bumpzilla"

But I did object to the woman on the train the other day, who was sitting in a seat to be given up for pg women or those with children, when I asked her if she minded me sitting down for a few minutes as I was feeling light headed, and she replied, "you're not pg a diet will fix your problem" I have to say I was so fed up and hot and bothered after a day in london that I did just sit on her lap much to the ammusement of everyone else.

rachels103 · 22/09/2009 10:52

My MIL's delightful greeting each time she saw me when pg was 'Oh God aren't you fat?' I could have throttled her. I was big when pg but then my baby was 11lb4 so there was a good reason.

It's just plain rude I agree. I just gritted my teeth and smiled but kind of wish I'd said something.

iateallthecreameggsyummy · 22/09/2009 10:53

newbee did you actually sit on her???

That is fantastic good for you how rude of her! I had a customer tell me i needed to diet at my work blouse was tight and slightly revealing! I smiled and told her there was no losing this for another 4 months and she soon shut up!

thedollshouse · 22/09/2009 10:58

I find it very rude. When I was pregnant with ds, so many people (the majority work colleagues) seemed to take great pleasure in telling me how fat I was, they thought it was hilarious that I had put weight on everywhere.

After having ds I left it months until I went to the office as I was too embrassed of the excess weight that didn't just drop off. When I did eventually visit they all asked why I wasn't back to my prepregnancy shape and asked if I had been eating all the pies.

NewbeeMummy · 22/09/2009 11:11

iateallthecreameggsyummy - I did and it was the best thing I ever did, I'm normally very meek and mild and would just apologise for being in my own skin.

But I had just had enough that day, and something inside just snapped, I felt great for doing it and it has lead to me standing up to some of the people who have walked all over me for the last few years.

iateallthecreameggsyummy · 22/09/2009 11:12

hahahahahah newbee what did she do/say? If i was there i would have laughed my head of really i would have!

Good for you!!

trellism · 22/09/2009 11:28

I don't mind if people call me fat. They don't mean it in a nasty way.

What did annoy me was a colleague who said "Oh, I wondered if you were pregnant, but then I thought you were just putting on weight."

At 35 weeks' pregnant I'm still nowhere near as big as her.

NewbeeMummy · 22/09/2009 12:00

She just sat there looking shocked and then started saying "get off, get off" I just ignored her, it was funny everyone else started laughing. I hope that next time she gets asked to give up her seat she'll think twice before being a sarcastic cow!

I did get off when it came to her stop, I'm not that nasty (and to be honest her lap wasn't that comfy)

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 22/09/2009 12:06

And then at the other end of the scale (pun intended!) you have me: nobody knew was pregnant even when I was overdue, because I'm fat - to attest to this, a guy nearly knocked me over in waterstones on my due date because I was in his way, or at least I presume he had no idea I was pregnant (God, some people are lovely)

mazzystartled · 22/09/2009 12:11

why do people think it's fine to call fat people fat anyway? that is also rude, and unneccessary.

iateallthecreameggsyummy · 22/09/2009 12:50

lol i so wish i was there!!!

As for fat well it gets worse..... Ive just had a foot appt at local hosp and bumped into a local alcoholic (his parents live few doors down from me) hes a very nice man but i dont know him to well...... He says to me 'Oh i didnt know you were that way!' and then touched my bump and kissed me!!

How rude or is it just me!! I suppose now i have a proper bump im public property

CakeBuddy · 22/09/2009 14:09

Blimey, I posted on here this morning that even if we did get a bit 'fat' well at least there'd be a healthy baby at the end of it. Well, just got back from my 8 week scan to be told there are 3 babies. Man, I'm gonna be the size of a house!!

NewbeeMummy · 22/09/2009 14:21

iateallthecreameggsyummy didn't you know as soon as you have a bump you're public property? one girl at work constantly grabs my boobs!

Congrats Cake that must be a bit of a shock. Hoping it all goes well for you.

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