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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Reactions of children hearing they are going to have a brother/sister?

27 replies

Ricci2 · 14/09/2009 13:26

Pls tel me the reactions of children when they found out they are going to have a brother or sister. My daugter is 2 1/2 years old and she is not pleased.

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rubyslippers · 14/09/2009 13:32

hmm - DS is 3.3 and DC2 is due in around 3 weeks

he has been totally blase - i don't think he really understands

he knows there is a baby on its way but he has no idea the baby will be staying

you say your DD isn't happy? what do you mean?

she is very young ...

Morloth · 14/09/2009 13:32

My DS is 5 and is almost more excited than we are. He keeps talking about "our" baby and all the things he is going to teach them.

He is a lot older than your little one though.

WowOoo · 14/09/2009 13:36

DS1 age 3 didn't really understand or appear to care until ds2 actually arrived.

He still doesn't understand why ds2 doesn't want to play with his race track and mostly ignores the baby. Hmm.

ib · 14/09/2009 13:40

Ds (2 1/2 too) was really pleased, and talks frequently about the baby.

Still early days, though. We'll see how he feels about it later on.

PacificDogwood · 14/09/2009 13:40

DS1 and 2 were 4 and 3 respectively when we told them DC3 was on his way: they were not v interested and not bothered, however were brilliant once he had arrived.

They are now 6 and 5 and DS1 is delighted that there will be another baby (albeit sl disappointed it will not be a baby sister

Deemented · 14/09/2009 13:46

When i found out i was pregnant with DD, DS was 2. I involved him from the very start putting the emphasis on the fact the he was going to be a big brother and that it was such an important job ect. I let him feel her kicks and showed him photos ect.

He was delighted and ever so proud when she was born.

Now we have another DC on the way i've played it from that angle again, saying that because he's such a good big brother already he's getting to be one again.

TheOldestCat · 14/09/2009 13:49

DD (aged nearly 3) seems pleased but only if it's a 'sister baby'. She is prepared to tolerate a brother, but only if it's a 'girl brother'.

Ricci2 - when are you due? Your DD will be older by the time the baby comes alon and probably much more excited about the idea. Keep emphasising how much it's about her: "you're going to be a great big sister" and so on.

Original poster

Ricci2 · 14/09/2009 13:56

When i first told her that she is going to have a brother/sister (only about 6 weeks and will find out dd on wednesday)she said that she wanted a piglet. I was not amused. Later on when i asked her is she was going to help mommy with the baby she said that she is going to the baby's hair. this weekend we went to see my sister in law and her baby which is 4 months old now. When i held the baby she had no problem but when my husband held him she was so jealous he had to put the baby down and pick her up. So i am a bit worried how things are going to go. She is not really bothered with me so i think she might feel something is different.

OP posts:

PinkTulips · 14/09/2009 13:57

dd was 3 and really excited... she grinned like a loon and was overjoyed.

ds1 was almost 2 and understood less but was really pleased at the idea of a baby living in my belly

Weegle · 14/09/2009 13:59

DS was literally just 3 when we told him about this pregnancy (twins) and he showed marginal interest ("can we call one Jesus?" eh???) and then if it was mentioned for the next 2-3 weeks was quite upset/angry. We totally backed off and didn't mention it for a while. Then he came to a couple of scans (I'm being scanned fortnightly) and seen a few baby clothes around and now he talks with much more excitement. There were a lot of questions for a while so I think he just didn't understand, and didn't understand the timing etc but not he seems a lot happier. So maybe your DD just needs a little time...

Southwind · 14/09/2009 13:59

My DD said "I'd rather have a puppy" but she is 10.......

rubyslippers · 14/09/2009 13:59

Ricci - she doesn't really understand

don't take it personally or that she is not pleased about it

rubyslippers · 14/09/2009 14:02

oh, this is a good trick

tell your DD the new baby has asked what present your DD would like when she arrives

we did this with DS - we are going to buy (a digger) and have it wrapped up and in my hospital bag

castille · 14/09/2009 14:06

I don't think we got much of a reaction from DD1, but she was only just 2 when DD2 was born.

When we told them they were going to have another sibling, DD1, then 8, ran around the dining table shouting "yippee!" and DD2, then 6, sat quietly grinning, but was a little less enthusiastic - fearing for her role as baby...

DS is now 3 and is entirely and unreservedly adored by both his sisters

hobnob57 · 14/09/2009 14:36

DD was 2.5 when we first mentioned about a new baby. She was pretty blase about it, sometimes willing to engage in conversation about it and other times appearing to not want it. We've been pretty laid back and only bringing it up every few weeks or so initially. My favourite time was at about 20 weeks when DH said 'look at mummy's belly - it's really big today. What's in there?' and her reply was 'poo'. Logical to the extreme.

Now at 32 weeks she comes and hugs 'the baby' and gives it toys but has little concept of it actually being a real live person that is going to impinge on her life. We'll tackle that one in a few weeks' time I think. 2 weeks seems to be her limit for forward thinking!

LoveGigi · 14/09/2009 18:55

I had to reply to this thread. We have long known that our DD 3.2 would not be pleased with the idea of a new baby in the house. I've had two MCs this year so we've had a chance to test this water, I'm now 8 weeks and am no longer mentioning it after my recent conversation which went like this.

Me: So darling what would you think about having a little brother or sister?

DD: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Me: Oh, what if a little brother or sister brought you a bunny when they arrived? (she is obsessed with Bunnies)!

DD: They can leave the bunny, then GO!!!!

Me: Lost for words!!!

Our problem is that my DD doesn't want to be a "big girl" she is obsessed with being a baby, she hates being called a girl. I'm going to have to try a different approach, but at the moment I don't plan to mention it for some time and hope that things will change.

funtimewincies · 14/09/2009 19:31

I'm 30 weeks and ds (2.9) has only just accepted that I'll be having a baby and not a cat .

He's just started talking to the baby through my belly button . I've also started to try and explain some of the preparation to him (that's the basket the baby will sleep in, we're moving the computer becuase the baby will need a bedroom, etc.)

Oh dear, but lol about the bunny LoveGigi .

colditz · 14/09/2009 19:34

My 2.5 year old ds1 shouted "Where?" and his head snapped round to the front door.

leothelioness · 14/09/2009 19:41

funtime my ds did the same thing it did not seem to click for him until I took him to a scan then he saw the baby moving on the screen his face lit up and he said "RABBIT" after than however much the doctor and I explained to him it was infact a baby he was not to be swayed.
I think he was quite dissapointed when he came to see me in hospital and it was a baby rather than a rabbit. He was 2.5 when ds2 was born.

MumNWLondon · 14/09/2009 20:27

DD was exactly 2 when we told her that she was going to be a big sister - she was so excited as she loved babies so much (she'd go up to strangers in shops with babies to look at them) she talked about how excited she was for 6 months - also baby was going to bring her a baby annabel doll, and she was excited about that too. She's now 5.5 and DS is 3, and she still loves him to bits and is very protective of him. That being said when he cried as a baby she did say a couple of times that he should go back to where he came from as he was too noisy.

Am now due #3 haven't told them but I know they will be happy as they have been asking me for about a year now when they are going to get a baby, DD even said "I wish L's (her cousins) baby could come and live here as I love babies so much) - although DD has made it clear it had better be a sister, ideally with blue eyes and long brown hair like her and not a brother "as I already have one brother and I don't need another one"

If you DC is not so happy then probably best not really to mention it, they'll then have time to get used to it and make sure the baby brings them a toy they really want.

maybebaby23 · 14/09/2009 20:44

Sorry to hear your DD is not impressed at the idea!! But i agree with other posters, she probably doesn't really understand.

My DD is 3.7 and she was absolutely made up about the fact that she is going to be a big sister. She tells anyone and everyone who will listen that "her" baby is coming at Christmas (due dec 31st) She is always kissing my tummy and putting her hands on it to try and feel baby's kicks..and telling me over and over what she is going to do to help when baby comes. Bless. Im sure your DD will come round to the idea and love her sibling when she sees him/her.

PacificDogwood · 14/09/2009 21:54

Ricci, we spent quite a bit of time telling DSs1 and 2 how new babies really were a bit rubbish : they cannot sit up, they cannot feed themselves, they cannot play, they spend a lot of time drinking milk, pooing, sleeping... and crying. We also played up how great it was to be big boys: they could do things for themselves, they were allowed sweets (!), they could ask for what they wanted, they were allowed to bed later, they knew their favorite CBeebies program etc etc.
Oh, and yes, strong hints that the baby might bring pressies for them, helped too !
In the end they were great and spent a lot of time playing together whilst I spent a lot some time BFing DS3.
We did not tell them that I was pregnant until I was over 6 months pregnant and I could not believe they had not asked yet re the enormity of my belly, LOL! Even another 3 months waiting for the baby was a looooong time for them.
Your DD will be fine, just let her come to terms with it in her own time.

Original poster

Ricci2 · 15/09/2009 08:53

Thanks all for the replies... I will wait a while before atempting to talk to her again. I will use the advise though...

OP posts:

Portofino · 15/09/2009 09:03

I visited dsis at home when her ds2 was about a week old. I came bearing gifts for both boys. When I left, her ds1 (aged3)told me I had to take the baby with me, as he didn't like him! He was insistant and had a major tantrum as I tried to gently explain it was his new brother, who lived with him. He laughs about this now.

Comma2 · 15/09/2009 21:35

DD is 18 months, so she doesn't understand. But I watch youtube movies of newborns and toddler siblings with her to prepare her a bit and she loves those....

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