feeling really low...convinced baby is dead :-(

[Nemo1977]

hi all
i need to get this out cos my head is done in.
I am supposed to be 12wks tommorow but dont have another scan till 9th august. I had a scan at 8wks to check viability and they saw a heartbeat.
I just feel really bad at the min. I have had 3mcs in past and last was a missed mc where baby died at around 9wks. I dont know why i think baby is gone but i just feel it is. I am sitting here crying and getting stressed as i know there is nothing i can do. I am due to see mw again on tues but prob wont be able to hear hb with doppler as with ds i was 16wks before i could hear it.
I was feeling really sick etc until about 4 days ago. Everything has just stopped which i know can happen around now anyway but it isnt helping...i just dont know what to do my head is messed up. sorry for moaning but i just feel so lost

poor you
I don't know what to say but wish you all the best and hope you can hassle people into letting you have the 12 week scan - how will they do the nuchal scan otherwise anyway? (I had viability adn nuchal btw and didn't have to ask so it isn't standard all over the country)

Oh nemo, I've been there hun but I'd only mc twice. I sat in the gps and said I wouldn't move until he'd arranged a scan. I know not everyone's as brave (or mad!) but I wasn't sleeping and felt as you do. Please push, push and push to get a scan.

ring the epu. tomorrow when they open and they normally can give you an appointment to come in and have a scan. in Reading, which is where i work they ask you to come in and listen in witht eh sonicaid and if they can't hear then they do the scan, but most of the time just hearing the heartbeat is enough to reassure you.

i feel for you nemo and hope that you can get an appointment soon.

Nemo - phone hospital number you have. They may well book you in as self referral.

Don't wait til you see the midwife on Tues ring her in the morning. Kick up a fuss and scream and shout if you have to. I was once told by a paramedic that if you don't scream and shout you won't get anything out of the HA

see they even annoyed me after last mc cos i thought thank god i will get tests etc. however cos i had a ds and carried him to term [hes 19mths now] then they said they may test after next one....i just thought it would be taken a bit more seriously

Morocco - not all trusts perform NUchal scans. i know reading doesn't and quite a few other trusts don't

Nemo will be thinking of you, please phone everyone tomorrow until you get someone with the power to get you another scan.

Goodnight xxx

I had ds1 when I did my sit in. He was 2.

we dont get nuchal a standard here only if prob at 12wk scan..lol

By the way please do not try to find heartbeat yourself - 12 weeks really is too early and it will only make you feel worse.

Nemo, believe me, I am right re reduced risk. I'm a journalist and research stuff like this all the time.
It's the single best indicator you could ever have.
Also, I said and now the divine Mears has said it - just call the hospital scanning dept and book yourself in for your 12 week scan! Say you were told to do it. And then just turn up!

thanks xena night

We have staff in our EPU 24 hours a day.

Nemo.... please please please get yourself to hospital and demand a scan, its not good for you to worry like this.

Will be thinking of you xxxx

Nemo, you sound so sad - really sorry - and as everyone has said, it's not surprising that you feel so anxious after what has happened before. it doesn't seem fair, does it, that the last m/c doesn't just end there, but causes you so much anxiety in this pregnancy. And it isn't fair - but everyone understands that you will naturally feel worried - you're not a freak. Could you call the mw tomorrow and tell her how v upset you are feeling? Looking after YOU is all part of the support, isn't it? It's all right to show that you are upset and worried to your wits end. I'm not an emotional person at all, and was amazed how sympathetically my doctor responded when I burst into tears on the phone to her recently - and I wondered why I hadn't done such a thing before!

We dont have nuchal scans here either.
Nemo, please speak to your midwife or the hospital or whoever you have to tomorrow. The stress will be doing you no good.
Will be waiting for you to come back and tell us the good news.

thanks all for listening..will try and call hospital tommorow..although will prob just end up crying down phone and am sort of incomprehensible then

We don't do nuchal scans either.

We do have an EPU that is staffed 24 hours because women may be inpatients with early pregnancy problems. Staff take calls at all times of night and the midwives in the unit will make appointments for scans the next day. You could phone now for advice Nemo and see what they say.

Crying is good! makes them take you seriously!

Crying down the phone is good IME it gets you listened to.

mears i would but am a blubbering wreck at the min...cant see screen very well never mind phoning someone..will ask dh to phone in morning

Awww nemo hun, I really feel for you xxxx

Nemo - try and think positively. Hope you get reassurance soon x

This is from the medical journal called Obstetric Ultrasound:

A visible heartbeat could be seen and detectable by pulsed doppler ultrasound by about 6 weeks and is usually clearly depictable by 7 weeks. If this is observed, the probability of a continued pregnancy is greater than 83 percent.

I'm really sorry your hospital sounds so crap.