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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnant and worried about having a boy! help?

139 replies

nknight85 · 29/07/2009 17:54

I am 13 weeks pregnant with my second child, I already have a boy, but I am worried about being pregnant again with another boy. Dont get me wrong I love my little boy very much, but I have always wanted girls. when I found out I was having a boy first time a round I was so dissapointed even though I already had a feeling I was having a boy, But when i was born i was happy. All my friends are having girls and showing off abit and I feel like I am the only one who's body doesnt want me to conceive a girl and I am so jealous. At the beginning of this pregnancy I was sure I was having a girl because I started my sickness at 5 weeks and was really bad with it, my belly seems to have got bigger so very soon I look 6 months pregnant, and I have put loads of weight on already round my hips and bum, ive gotten more emotional and angry and have spots everywere, were with my boy I had none off that(apart from the sickness started at 12weeks and I wasnt really poorly as much). But now people keep putting in my head its a boy,and friends assume just because there having girls, so and now I feel like i am having a boy. I am so upset with myself for feeling like this but I cant help it, my family would be ideal with a boy and a girl. My husband wanted a girl too but he says he is happy with whatever happens,weres am getting myself worked up over it.

What do you guys think? Am I being stupid and selfish? How will I cope when I find out I am having a boy again?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Tidey · 29/07/2009 19:13

The OP said How will I cope when I find out I'm having a boy again , not that she couldnt cope actually having two boys. She's worried about her reaction and potential disappointment to the results of the scan, not the parenting of two boys.

thisisyesterday · 29/07/2009 19:15

from your post earlier:

"but its the thought of coping with another boy that am worried about"

we asked why you were worried about coping with another boy. you now say you aren;t

sorry, but i can only comment on what you say. if you keep changing your mind then nothing anyone says will help surely?
unless you just want people to say "there there, it;s ok"

in which case you shouldn't have asked what we think

rostbeef · 29/07/2009 19:18

WOW TIY you are being so harsh. Give everyone a break will you. She is pregnant! Emotional! which is natural. In all likelyhood once she has her lovely boy (IF its a boy) she will feel wonderful but we all imagine our babies and if you want and have visualised a girl or boy and get the other then that can be hard to get your head around. Perhaps not for you but for others. You maybe need to open your mind to other people's point of view.

Original poster

nknight85 · 29/07/2009 19:18

am not looking for sympathy just advice on how to cope after my scan if i am having a boy thats all. and i wish i never asked, if theres people like you TIY who cant seem to leave me alone.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 29/07/2009 19:20

ahh whatever. i am not the only one who asked why you can't cope with anoter boy.

i am going on what you've said. and you won't answer the question, you just keep saying different things.

as i said earlier, i'd be more than willing to give tips on coping with more than one boy, but as you won't say what it is you're worried about coping with i can't.

mogend77 · 29/07/2009 19:21

I don't see the point in pulling apart the original post. Few of our posts would bear textual analysis if they were written in the height of feeling. Clearly a lot of people responding to this thread do know exactly what the OP is talking about, having experienced it themselves - why do you insist on assuming that nothing anyone is saying is helpful to her? We don't need to pick her words apart to know what she means - to the many of us who have dealt with this feeling in the past her post makes perfect sense. Many people have experienced this and are trying to be helpful. TIY - the impression you are giving is that you are pulling this poster apart just for the sake of it. What is so hard to understand about the fact that an awful lot of the posters empathise with the OP having been there themselves and might have something helpful to say?

thisisyesterday · 29/07/2009 19:24

look,i read the op. she asked what we thought and i told her,.

the poster herself then said she was worried about coping with another boy, so i asked why in particular

she then claims she isn't.

i am glad she is getting support from the rest of you. i was concerned that she had said she was worried she wouldn't cope, but clerly she can!

Original poster

nknight85 · 29/07/2009 19:24

i am worried that i wont cope after the scan thats what i am worried about, not the fact of bringing two boys up, like i said i wanted a girl but if they said that i was having a boy, i think i would cry, i dont no why really, i just think i wouldnt be able to cope if i heard its a boy! just for the fact i want a girl, so am just confused about it all.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 29/07/2009 19:24

i am not pulling it apart, just explaining my response.

the op has then contradicted herself so i quoted her to explqain why i had posted a certain response.

thisisyesterday · 29/07/2009 19:26

op, you WILL cope. because you have to! you might cry. but you;re still going to be having a bloody lovely baby and you will get on with stuff because you're a mum and that's what mums do

WinkyWinkola · 29/07/2009 19:27

It's definitely a pregnant woman's prerogative to keep changing her mind!

SixtyFootDoll · 29/07/2009 19:28

It MIGHT be a girl!
You might be upset if it is a boy but I am sure given time you will get used to the ide of another boy.
Just think how great your son is and now you are going to get another one!

SixtyFootDoll · 29/07/2009 19:29

When I see my two boys laughing and playing together I am so grateful to have had them, I cant imagine that a girrl and boy would ever be as close.
I am not close to my brother and we have the same age gap.

rostbeef · 29/07/2009 19:29

You WILL cope though OP because you have to. Don't borrow trouble, and try to visulaise your family with a new baby boy - it will be amazing either way and don't read too much into your feelings now. See how you feel after the scan and deal with it then. That is my advice and I am in a similar position so it is a talking to I have given myself! Plus - noone on here can really help. Noone can tell you what you are having or understand EXACTLY what you are going through. So don't take any comments on here too seriously either - especially snarky ones!

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 29/07/2009 19:30

What do you think will happen if you are told you are having a boy? What exactly do you men by not coping with the feelings?

Original poster

nknight85 · 29/07/2009 19:31

thankyou thats all i wanted to know thankyou for responding and being nice lol. my hormones are all over the place thats why i am so worried, i dont even no why i wont even cope, like i said i am being selfish to want a girl, maybe when my child is born i will have to cope either way, but i think its the thought of waiting for the scan thats the worse, but its how i feel and i cant help that, i was just really worried what id be like after the scan, and if my emotions would get the better of me if that makes sense

OP posts:

Scorps · 29/07/2009 19:31

to feel jealous of other's babies becuase they are girls is a little strong, IMO, but i kind of know where you are coming from. I have 2ds and a dss, and a dd. I am pregnant again now, 19 weeks.

The boys came before dd; i really wanted a girl the first time, and little less the second. Then when i had dd i wanted a boy, as i was used to them, and it took me a day or two to realise i would have a girl. You really do get fed up of pink, and i am worlds pinkest person

After dd i had a mc - now, i only care that my darling baby in my tummy is healthy and stays in there until 38-42 weeks. I don't care, because i will adore my extra special baby, who let me meet him/her.

Every baby is a gift. You may be sad if oyu have a boy, because you kind of mourn your non dd, but honestly, boys are sooooo fun (and naming them is easier!)

I wish you a healthy pregnancy and baby

PinkTulips · 29/07/2009 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

nknight85 · 29/07/2009 19:34

i dont know how i will feel if they said it was a boy, FBGIB, i will just have to see thats why am worried

OP posts:

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 29/07/2009 19:38

Why worry about something you have no control over?

You are in serious danger of spoiling this pregnancy for yourself.

Original poster

nknight85 · 29/07/2009 19:39

do you know there are some really nasty narrow minded old fashioned women on here, i understand all your own opinions but i cant help mine, like i said before i wasnt botherd about the sex of my baby at the beginning, but ive just made my self worse as ive gone along, sorry for having issues, doesnt everyone else have them or are you perfect PINKTULIPS!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

nknight85 · 29/07/2009 19:42

Yes i get the fact that i am going to spoil my pregnancy but i felt abit stupid for feeling this way and the fact i couldnt cope

OP posts:

Scorps · 29/07/2009 19:42

it's not being narrow minded - some women on here have been through awful, dreadful things to get their child/ren, and the gender has been the least thing on their mind.

Original poster

nknight85 · 29/07/2009 19:43

yes maybe people have, but theres no reason to talk to me like that,

OP posts:

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 29/07/2009 19:46

WHAT is it you can't cope with

finding out it is a boy?

why?

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