Pregnancy after Miscarriage Part IX - Knicker Checkers etc

[dan39]

New one! Thought I would make my mark!

Evening all

Tamlin sorry to hear your sickness is still around, how unfair that it's morning sickness and it turns up in the evening for you, grr.

Mummytopebs get thee to your GP re that cough - explain what you've tried so far, detail how it's making you feel in yourself and explain how worried you were by the pulled muscle over the weekend and ask what they can give you to ease it. Hope you feel better soon (I really sympathise with you, have had 2 awful chest infections 2 winters running) Wheelybug glad you're feeling better, what did you take for your bug?

Ciara after reading the stats Crunch kindly linked for us I'm now much keener on a scan. I'm supposed to be having "consultant-led care" cos of the thyroid thing but still haven't heard anything nearly 2 weeks after seeing the GP. So I'm going to chase that up tomorrow and also ask for the phone number of the midwife so I can ask her to push for an an early scan (and will explain my concerns given my test results were wrongly interpreted by the GP who I then had to send a copy of the NHS clinical guidance to and the fact I've not yet been seen by the consultant to review the level of my meds 2 weeks after booking in and hopefully she will then get on and sort it for me!)

Scarlotti as it is your third I'm sure the weight will drop off when your baby is here with 3 of them to run round after! And maybe you could treat yourself to a few new bits from ebay after selling yours? Happy shopping! I am delighted with my latest bargain - a sixty quid Seraphine cardigan which I got for £8.25 including postage - result! In case it's handy here's a recipe for a fat free cake I sometimes bake guilt-free cake you could leave the rum out but I figure baking it removes the alcohol

Flappy heh at "morning shitness" .

Jardins ahem, how's your tum these days? Hope you're feeling better. No idea on the progesterone cream q, sorry.

Thandeka sneaks on this thread looks furtively around and whispers to the friendly faces- "Just found out am pregnant again after MMC at 10 weeks PG 39 day. Will only be "4 weeks" tommorrow. Gulp!". Thandeka then scuttles off back to her hermetically sealed bubble she will be living in for next 9months IF she gets that far this time.

(Thandeka will be probably be a furtive reader/sporadic poster til she feels a bit more confident about this one)

(Oh and hello Jardins and Happybump my pregnant a little bit ahead of me buddies. )

mumface how exciting!! Hope the last 6 weeks fly by for you.

blondiemix let's hope you're right! DD is almost 15 so not as much running around after her as DS (3). Am going to make myself set some goals once the baby is born to help get back into an exercise routine. Have always wanted to do one of those charity trek's so that might be my end aim - trekking across Machu Picu (sp?!) will require far more fitness than I currently have

Thought I'd shifted my thrush but it seems to have returned. Sigh. The joys eh?

Hi all - Just had my blood test from the GP's apparently HCG is at 14000 which is normal for nearly 6 weeks? So GP doesn't think another mc is imminent.

Now been told to register with the midwife (gulp).

I honestly don't know why so many docs are reluctant to give early scans. If we start miscarrying, we're going to want a scan anyway, and if we DO have a viable foetus, weeks of miserable anxiety can be averted (and the sods then don't have to give us a dating scan, so once again, it's not as if we're getting extras...)

Thandeka - welcome to the thread. Just seen your "am I, aren't I" thread in Conception, and wanted to let you know that my current (six month) bump was conceived straight after my (third) miscarriage - hope it works out that way for you too. The bubble doesn't work very well by the way - far too many things to stress about in the early weeks... Fortunately everyone else on here feels the same.

Tamlin - I guess part of the reluctance to give early scans is the cost - probably most of us would have done an Ash and had a scan every five minutes if the NHS had let us. And my early scan was an extra - I had a dating scan (that bizarrely put my due date 7 days earlier than the early scan had done...)

Hmm, the whole business of early scans annoys me. Whilst I can see that repeated scans would be costly, I see no harm whatsoever in giving someone one early scan at 8 weeks+ when the chance of m/c then drops to 2% if you see a heartbeat.
We went to the epu when I was 6+3 as I'd had spotting, and got a scan. Doctor then said that their reason for not scanning unless you'd had 3 m/c's was because you would take away a scan from someone who needed it.
What a load of rot! They're hardly going to turn someone away are they.
My gp had requested the early scan and the hospital refused his request.

What's to stop people inventing some bleeding in order to go? My spotting had stopped before my 6+3 scan but I still went along.

The stress I was under for those first 12 weeks was immense, and I only realised how bad it was once I'd passed it. Am sure that wasn't healthy for bean, and had I had more time I'd have been harassing my mw and gp with worries about ante-natal depression etc. so still taking up their time!

Oops, can you tell this is an issue close to my heart Rant over!!

scarlotti - given finite cash, and finite people employed in the EPU, then it makes sense that "unnecessary" early scans could deprive people who really need them (depending on how busy the unit is).

I completely agree with you on the stress of the first trimester though. Have you read Prof Lesley Regan's book on miscarriage? She reckons that good sympathetic care in the early weeks, including regular scans, can make a significant difference to the success rate of pregnancy after miscarriage. This is based on a group of patients that she had been seeing at her clinic, and who had had all the recognised treatable causes ruled out. Those who kept coming to see her weekly when they fell pregnant (some travelling hundreds of miles to do so) were much more likely to take home a baby than those who stopped coming. Something like 80% chance versus a 60% chance (can't remember the exact numbers).

She doesn't really attempt to explain why these babies were more sticky. And tbh I wasn't completely convinced by it - at least, not convinced enough to demand more scans when the EPU said no, or to pay for them myself. And my baby currently seems to be doing okay, despite not having had particularly wonderful early care (one scan at 7 weeks, then a dating scan at 10 weeks - sympathetic midwife got me the earliest date she could). (Just wanted to mention that because I really don't want to stress out anyone in the early weeks who won't be getting weekly scans.)

Anyway - I completely understand your rant - I guess everyone on here does. And I can also understand why mostly we don't get scans on demand. But I completely agree with you that one early scan at 7/8 weeks is really not too much to ask!

Ladies, I have really quickly just popped on to ask - do we pay tax and NI on the £123pw that we are paid on maternity leave?

Sorry i havent read one single post, been busy at work today and about to have a meeting about my maternity pay and it just occured to me that i might be paying away the 20% tax etc, obviously i know that personal allowences are taken into account etc but are we actually taxed on this?

I promise i will catch up properly at ash for being rude xx

ash - yes, you pay tax and NI on maternity pay. However, if you're on SMP, you might end up with a tax rebate at some point.

Been mostly lurking on here since i found out i was pregnant again but after a positive scan today i feel ready to add my name to the list and start celebrating being pregnant at last. Even though i havent posted i have found it hugely helpful to read all your posts and see i am not alone in the things i have been feeling and also to see the positive stories, so thank-you for that

GUSSET PATROL GRADUATES
Cricri - 1st November - GIRL- Elise Vivienne
LackaDAISYcal - 6th November - BOY - Finlay
barbareebaa - 24th November -BOY - William
Jackstini - 10th December ? BOY- Harvey
KD73 - 20th December - BOY - Aidan George
downbutnotout ? 3rd February BOY
dan39 ? 10th February GIRL - Rose
winemakesmummyclever - 17 February - BOY - Isaac Alexander
Bunnyinheadlights - 23 February - GIRL - Carys
Wheelybug - 12th March - GIRL - Lara Florence
TSOM - 17th March - BOY - Seth
Grinningbee ? 4th April ? GIRL ?Amy Florence
Daisy J ? 1st April ? GIRL ? Maya Celine
Scotlass - 17th April - BOY - Nathan James
Swaliswan - 20th April - GIRL
LoobyLou36,- 23rd April GIRL - Matilda Rose
Ladyhelen2 - 2nd May - BOY - Rufus Daniel
Divedaisy - 2nd May - GIRL - Sofiah Rose
Aquababe - 6th May - BOY - Ethan
Youknownothingofthecrunch - 8th May - GIRL - Polly Anwen

CURRENT CONCEIVED-AIR PASSENGERS

Ses - 10th May
SparkyMalarky - 15th May
cece - 18th May
joyfuleyes - 29th May
herbaceous - 28 June
Mumface - 11th July
nattythomasandellen - 16th July
Ashleighbeee - 23rd/25th August
HerNameWasLola - 30th August
blogqueen - 31st August
sydneysuze - 15th September
lal123 - 25th October
scarlotti - 6th November
Tink08 - 24th November
Fairywing - 11th December
HappyBump - 28th January

Fairywing - welcome and congratulations on the scan - it's a good feeling, isn't it?

Just been searching, and found a couple more graduates to add (I'm hoping I worked the dates out properly from the birth stories). Will also finally get round to adding myself to the list.

I couldn't find any posts from Cece in the last week - I assume no-one's heard anything from her?

GUSSET PATROL GRADUATES
Cricri - 1st November - GIRL- Elise Vivienne
LackaDAISYcal - 6th November - BOY - Finlay
barbareebaa - 24th November -BOY - William
Jackstini - 10th December ? BOY- Harvey
KD73 - 20th December - BOY - Aidan George
downbutnotout ? 3rd February BOY
dan39 ? 10th February GIRL - Rose
winemakesmummyclever - 17 February - BOY - Isaac Alexander
Bunnyinheadlights - 23 February - GIRL - Carys
Wheelybug - 12th March - GIRL - Lara Florence
TSOM - 17th March - BOY - Seth
Grinningbee ? 4th April ? GIRL ?Amy Florence
Daisy J ? 1st April ? GIRL ? Maya Celine
Scotlass - 17th April - BOY - Nathan James
Swaliswan - 20th April - GIRL
LoobyLou36,- 23rd April GIRL - Matilda Rose
Ladyhelen2 - 2nd May - BOY - Rufus Daniel
Divedaisy - 2nd May - GIRL - Sofiah Rose
Aquababe - 6th May - BOY - Ethan
Youknownothingofthecrunch - 8th May - GIRL - Polly Anwen
Ses - 9th May - BOY - Owen
SparkyMalarky - 10th May - GIRL - Evie

CURRENT CONCEIVED-AIR PASSENGERS

cece - 18th May
joyfuleyes - 29th May
herbaceous - 28 June
Mumface - 11th July
nattythomasandellen - 16th July
cornflakegirl - 15th August
Ashleighbeee - 23rd/25th August
HerNameWasLola - 30th August
blogqueen - 31st August
sydneysuze - 15th September
lal123 - 25th October
scarlotti - 6th November
Tink08 - 24th November
Fairywing - 11th December
HappyBump - 28th January

Thank you Cornflake

Well done to both of you for adding to the list.

Last Q, if the baby comes early (during the time i plan to be using my holiday) do my employers have to pay me for any holiday that i did not use as i will possibly just lose that?

xx

Ash - holiday gets a bit complicated - I had a thread about it a little while ago that flowerybeanbag was very helpful on. She pointed out that it's illegal for your employer to pay you in lieu of your 28 days statutory holiday, and that you also can't be paid during SMP (it automatically ends it) - except for 10 Keeping In Touch days.

My HR department seem to be pretty clueless on both these points (ie our Maternity policy says we will be paid in lieu of holiday at the start of the next holiday year), and I will definitely have holiday to carry over, so I'm working on the theory that they either pay me for my holiday when I come back to work, or they let me take it at the end of my mat leave (essentially the same thing as I only get SMP). I suggest you talk to your HR department and see what they think should happen. Hopefully yours will be more use than mine. If not, then flowery is fab!

ashleigh if you get SMP then you'll pay tax and NI, if it's maternity allowance then it's not taxed and I think the gov't pays your NI so you don't lose out. You have to have been employed for a certain amount of time to get the SMP - some companies have staggered levels of SMP depening on how long you've worked there.
The rules whilst off on maternity from the gov't are quite strict - you still accrue holiday and can't be treated any differently than other staff. There's a really comprehensive site here with all the rules on it. The page it links to has the rules about when SMP starts if baby is born early - basically the day after birth or pg related illness in the last 4 weeks.
Normally, companies encourage you to take your hols before or at the end of your mat leave, but obviously all can set their own rules.
Be careful if you get paid for holiday during your mat leave as it could mess up SMP - you're not allowed to be paid anything else whist recieving SMP or it stops.
So complicated!

cornflake do agree with you re the stretched resources of the nhs so hope my rant didn't come across as a go at you. It was the spotty teenage doctor dismissing my fears by telling me that I would be taking it away from someone else that annoyed me. I'd never take something I wasn't entitled to.

Funny cramps going on around my bump today and feeling sick - not nice and yet something else to worry about. Sigh.

LISKEY fantastic news x have you got any symptoms yet? Cos i am worrying that i ahve none

Epac rang me today and have booked me in for a 6 week scan on monday on account of 2 miscarriages last year, i think they are going to do my bloods as well. I mentioned no symptoms and she said its quite common especially in people who have had mc's as your bodys stress kind of overides the symptoms!

cornflake girl - I don't understand what you mean when you say you can't be paid when your SMP starts? Our maty policy is 8 weeks full pay (inclusive of SMP), 13 weeks half pay + SMP, and then I think 13 weeks SMP?

WE've just had new guidance re carrying over statutory hols if unable to take them due to sick leave, I imagine that guidance may follow re carrying forward hols if can't take them because of maty leave. We can't get paid in lieu of hols.

Re early scans - I understand how important they are for reassurance, but clinically they are of little use, so I can see why some areas are stricter about who can get them

Just a quick one from me as I have news.

A long story but Tom arrived on Saturday 23rd May 2009 at 11.14 pm. Weighing a respectable 9lbs and 15 oz.

Labour was long but managed to deliver him OK in the end. On the Sunday though he was very drowsy and had low blood sugars. So we ended up in the Transitional Care ward for a few days, whist he was on anti-biotics for an infection. All clear now though and we were allowed home this afternoon.

CONGRATULATIONS CECE!!!!! Sorry to hear things didn't go smoothly, but welcome home to little Tomxxxx

scarlotti - hope you feel better soon. Didn't take your rant personally at all. I can imagine that some kid telling you you didn't deserve a scan was really infuriating!

lal - that's a really good point about companies that offer enhanced maternity pay that has never occurred to me before! (Sadly, not something I've ever had to worry about.) I'm not sure why payment for holidays would be different - I may have misunderstood flowery's point.

Cece - congratulations! And ouch to 9lbs 15oz! Hope the hospital stay wasn't too unpleasant.

Evening all Cece CONGRATULATIONS what fab news, well done. Glad to hear that you've now been allowed home

Welcome Fairywings and Thandeka congratulations, welcome along, I hope your stays on this thread are a looooong ones with happy endings this time

Liskey and Mummytopebs aha, fab news that you are both now being looked after!

Ash and Lal the rules about maternity pay are SO confusing aren't they... Hope you get some clarity soon.

Scarlotti oh wow, that would be amazing. Have you started looking into it at all?

Oh, has anyone seen SydneySuze about?

My news: I rang the docs earlier who said to call the hosi antenatal unit as they'd sent my form over to them "and there's nothing else for us to do now" . When I got through to the hosi they were really helpful and am seeing the midwife at the hosi tomorrow at 9.30 for bloods/a scan/checking over by the thyroid consultant . I'll be 8 weeks on Sunday so hopefully they will be able to see something. Did I mention there are twins on both sides of the family? As I've got a puffy tummy (practically my only symptom, so I'm clinging to it!) already I keep wondering if there might be 2 in there! Still no feedback from interview on Friday either but lo seems to be staying put so I may end up withdrawing from the process anyway!

cece brilliant news, congratulations and welcome to little Tom. Sounds like you've had a bit of a time but it's great to have you home and I'm so happy for you.

Haven't been having much chance to get on here lately - not even as a result of the baby but DD is now hogging the computer, I need to get around to getting a wireless rerouter and hide the laptop from her.

Nathan is 6wks on Friday and we're getting beautiful smiles, he's an absolute little star and so worth the wait. It really makes me realise how lucky we are to have him and although I often think about the babies I lost it somehow feels easier to bear when you think if I hadn't lost them we wouldn't have him. I'd really began to lose hope after the 3rd unexplained mc.

Just noticed congrats to sparky too. Evie is a lovely name.

Cece congratulations!! And welcome to Tom. Sounds like you had a bit of an ordeal but hopefully now you're home it will be onwards and upwards. I thought I'd done well with my ds at 8lbs10 but you're way ahead of me

scotlass lovely to see you and great news on those smiles, makes your day doesn't it?

lal123 I think it was me saying about being paid. If you get paid for any work you do (not maternity pay) during your maternity leave it stops your maternity pay as you are deemed to have returned to work.

blondieminx not sure what you're referring to about being looked into! Good luck for your appointments tomorrow and hope you get to see your little bean(s?)

Ah, blondieminx you meant the charity trek! I know the red cross do one pretty much every year and it's a 10 day trip with about 6 or 7 days trekking. It's something that's always appealed and I'd love to do something different. I had dd very young as had just turned 20, so I do get pangs of having missed out on doing stuff. This sort of thing would help me make up for that I think!

Hey, she says casually, Tom is tiny! His brother was 11 lbs 4 oz! Ha!

He is lovely, just feeling extremely tired. I finally got to bed at about 4.30 am this morning...Partly my fault as we both fell asleep on the sofa for a couple of hours. By the time we got up he needed another feed!