Please allow me a little whinge and a sigh - Why, oh why, do people feel the need to comment constantly on how large I look?

[Astrophe]

I am 25 weeks pregnant with DC 3, and this week have had:

"Ooooh, not long to go now eh?"
"Wow, any day now!"
"How on earth will you last until July?"
"You look ready to pop - are you really only 25 weeks?"

I know, people are just clueless and tactless, but its just annoying and awkward and I wish people would keep their thoughts to themselves.

My sympathies, well actually empathy as I am 31 weeks and have been getting this for the last few months.
I think it is a good opening gambit for people - although why they can't just ask how you are feeling I don't know.
Worst think is I do feel huge as this is my second an obviously my stomach muscles have given up the fight to contain the bump .
Do let me know if you think of any suitable retorts. .

I am right with you on that one!

I'm 30 weeks and have been getting the 'any day now, yeah?' comments for at least 5 weeks.

The best, though, is the look on their face when I say back 'no, actually, I have 10 weeks to go. Thanks for telling me I am huge, though.'

If they can be rude? I can be rude back!!

It is rude isn't it. I can't understand why people can't see that.

I think it particularly annoys me as my stomach muscles have completely given up, and I already have a bad abdominal seperation, and I feel heavy and uncomfortable and have back pain...I really don't need them to point out that I am large because I know!!!!

Oh I am so with you on this one! I am 32 weeks and I have had comments such as 'you have a nice wide load' and 'are you having triplets?'

People look shocked when I tell them I am not due until June. Pregnant women seem to be public property to some extent.

the best is when people say 'gosh you have grown since the last time I saw you'

ER YES. THAT IS BECAUSE MY BABY IS GROWING AS IT SHOULD DO YOU !

I am very hormonal at the moment!

It's very annoying, isn't it? I don't think people mean to be rude though, they just think they should say something. I used to hate it when people said "you're enormous! Are you sure it's not twins?". I confess that once or twice I retorted with "I hope not, as there's only one heartbeat."

I tolerated the comments when pregnant until at 39 weeks my mother's evil pig ignorant bitch of a colleague exclaimed loudly "ooh you've put it all on in your face, haven't you, Marie, Marie come and look at how much SOH has put it on in her face". Out trundled 'Marie' who gawped a bit and had the good grace to look embarrassed.

I still want to punch her say something every time I visit my Mum at work.

argh SOH, that is awful. What planet are these people on?

My pet hate is when other women say "wow, I was tiny at 25 weeks" or "I wasn't even as big as that when I was full term". What has that got to do with me? I am obviously a taller person, with a bigger DH and I grow bigger babies and have crapper abs! But if I were to actually say that I know I would come off looking rude and hysterical and hormonal!

The old "Are you sure its not twins" or "are you sure you've got your dates right?" infuriate me as well - how rude to ask a virtual stranger about the accuracy/length of their menstrual cycle!

Astrophe have you tried replying in kind? When they ask about your dates rattle off lengthy descriptions of your last period, quantity, clots, stomach pains, describe when you peed on the stick, how long for, what you'd drunk beforehand, joke that you can't remember when you had sex after all. I mean, they asked didn't they? Of course you're a dignified lady and wouldn't dream of being so rude but it's so tempting.

I was on a training course at about 25 weeks and the woman next to me waffled on for an age about how her dd was so much slimmer than me and she was 30 weeks and carrying it so well. Finished with a disclaimer of "but she's slim when not pregnant too which might be where you differ". Witch. I'm an 8/10 and was measuring small for dates.

Even one of my midwives thinks it's okay to comment on the size of my bump....she is the only one who insists on measuring me even though it has no relevance - yes I am 27 weeks measuring 37 weeks....because there are 2 babies and her 'thats rather large' comment said over the top of her glasses made me want to punch her in the nose!

Oooops I think I might be guilty of this. I always say to pregnant people "oooh have you got long left?" sorry!! I never even realised people minded.

Yes, my midwife likes to comment too. She tells me I am measuring large, and then in the same breath tells me its nothing to worry about. So why bother then!?

SOH sorry but I did laugh at the woman on the traning course story! What a cow! But yet so funny that people are oblivious to their rudeness!

Nappy -I don't mind people asking "how long?" and I don't mind sympathy of the "oh, it can be uncomfortable when baby stay=rts getting big can't it" kind. Its the shock, sharp intake of breath, are you sure!? disbelief, comparisons with their sisters, friends, aunties etc etc that winds me up, because you have to stand there feeling like a freak show while people gawp and gasp, and trying to smile politely about it.

I find answering "yes I'm pregnant... what's your excuse?!" with the sweetest of smiles normally makes me feel much better...

It's been a real relief to read this thread! I'm 30 weeks with no.4 and have been having these comments too from about 22 weeks . I'm starting to get really upset about them (on some days) especially when at work and people feel they must comment on my size every time they see me (also get the same from my students which can be a bit ). I mean what other time in life would someone insist on commenting/interrogating you about your body shape! Actually felt quite tearful the other day when someone said I looked 'really pretty' on a night out . I'm actually spot on for dates, but do find myself being really defensive (explaining abiut baby's position/that it's no.4 etc) to somehow justify my shape! (FWIW I'm in sz 8 maternity stuff ...see, being defensive again ).
Would to use lollipolady's retort

Diege - it makes me a bit teary on some days too. Other days I'm not so bothered, but sometimes its more than I can take, on top off back pain and continuing morning sickness, and I just feel like bursting into tears.

Crap isn't it . Bad luck on still having sickness - that's awful. Was lucky that mine went by 16 weeks.Off to MIL now (great...) who has been one of the worst offenders. She is determined that I'm having twins (obviously more qualified than sonographers) - might use that heartbeat comment! Have even started covering up a bit (cardis etc over stretchy tops) which I know is wrong, wrong, wrong! (when it's hot at least!) May start being a bit more 'cutting' with my comments too (if I'm brave enough) Will be glad to start maternity leave soon just for the peace!

I was getting it all the time too. I'm 23 weeks now and the growth has really slowed down, there is a pic of me on my profile at nearly 19 weeks.

Its all the ones like 'my daughter is 3 weeks further than you and she isn't even showing yet!' My reply was 'well woop-de-fucking doo!'

I have stopped eating crap and my bump has shrunk loads, someone didn't even notice I was pg the other day!

You really are public property aren't you. I was showing at 5 weeks and when people found out that DH is a twin, well that was it, the sonographer was clearly blind when she only found one baby

Silly bastards

It's really annoying, isn't it? I've had a few people say, "You're not as big as I thought you'd be" earlier on, but now (33 weeks) all I get is things like "Not long to go" and I just want to say, "Mind your own frigging business!" I don't mind people showing an interest, but it's the insensitivity that annoys me. I wouldn't dream of saying such things.

It is ridiculous that people feel the need to compare to themselves or other pregnant women! Grrr.

I was actually ENORMOUS. It was extraordinary. I couldn't deny it. When I went to the street at about 36/37 weeks, people would look at me with a very scared expression on their faces, as if to say, 'Please don't do it here.' I often felt like saying, 'Unfortunately, the baby isn't just going to fall out onto the floor, there are a few things I have to do first!'

Gosh you are all

ENORMOUS HUGE VAST

TBH I always smiled and moved on. It won't last forever.

Yes, and then we'll get the 'when is it due?' comment 2 weeks post-natal

Oh yes and at two days overdue and until two weeks overdue I was tempted to have a post it note on my forehead with the details of when the baby was due and how late I was and how late each of the others had been....

My DH is a twin too, and people often sugest that I must therefore be having twins as well! Durh!

I am 34+ weeks and have had the "Ooh there must be more than 1 in there", "My God, you're huge!", "You still have xxx weeks to go, REALLY, but you're so big already!"

However, I have also had (sometimes on the same day) "Ooh you're neat", "Oh, that's a lovely little bump"

It turns out I'm measuring spot-on for 34 weeks and have currently put on about 1.5 stone.

I get infuriated by being public property that can be commented on. Would you walk up to someone with a weight problem and say "My God! How huge are you?"

I really have to bite my tongue and not tell people to fuck off. Sorry for swearing, but I've had months of this and I'm now big (but only averagely big!!!!) and tired and fed up and hormonal.

Oh and by the way, do you all have triplets in there? You're all MASSIVE. Been eating for 3, have we? (I've had the 'eating for 2' every time someone sees me eating. Pregnant women can eat, you know!!!!!).