Please allow me a little whinge and a sigh - Why, oh why, do people feel the need to comment constantly on how large I look?

[Astrophe]

I am 25 weeks pregnant with DC 3, and this week have had:

"Ooooh, not long to go now eh?"
"Wow, any day now!"
"How on earth will you last until July?"
"You look ready to pop - are you really only 25 weeks?"

I know, people are just clueless and tactless, but its just annoying and awkward and I wish people would keep their thoughts to themselves.

I had this all the time, used to drive me nuts. The worst part is, it doesn't seem to have stopped with the birth - DS2 was born two weeks ago, and when I went to pick up DS1 at nursery last week, they started talking about one of the other mums who is pg and saying 'But she's nowhere near as big as you were, you were massive weren't you WhatFreshEgg!'

OK, I'm not pg any more now, can we drop the frigging subject? And by the way, DS2 was 10lbs 5.5oz, no wonder I was big!

I have to confess I was delighted when this happened to me towards the end of my 2nd pregnancy. With my first, I got "Oh I didn't realise you were pregnant" and "Oh you only look about 2 months pregnant (WTF)? not 6" so the day I went swimming and a woman said "When are you due? Don't say yesterday!" (I was about 34 weeks I think) I was soooo delighted. This is 3rd time round and I've been huge all along (apparently baby is big which terrifies me)

Cannot STAND my MIL or others discussing the shape of my bump in detail (complete with comparisons of previous bumps) for the purposes of fetal gender determination - have already upset her once by pointing out what a pile of pants that is.

DH this morning did suggest getting a t-shirt printed:

Yes, I am aren't I?
No it isn't twins.
Yes I'm sure
No not long to go now
No not really that well but thank you for asking.
Can I go now?

The worst one for me was when MIL declared in front of my bitchy friend and her new boyfriend that I had put all the weight on my bum this time and told me it was like a shelf when she looked at me from behind . I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

I had, from a well meaning lady on the train as I was reading a mother and baby magazine... 'Now I'll get you a cup of tea and you take it easy... don't want to have that baby on the train do we?'

I was 9 weeks... and sadly it was all jelly belly...

A guy at work came up to me shrieking "oooooohhhhh look at the size of your stomach" and grabbed my bump with both hands.

I was 26 weeks and measuring spot on for dates.

I grabbed his hand, held it there and told him "you see, Marc, my stomach has been pushed all the way up here now (gesturing somewhere around boobs)... what you're holding on to is my UTERUS"

And I kept hold of his hand, and held it firmly in place.

He went paler and paler and eventually I let go when I thought he might throw up.

He hasn't bothered me since.

I used to get the opposite reaction (I am small, my bumps were small, my dc were small!) - things like, are you eating enough, have you had really bad morning sickness, is your baby growing properly etc.

But people do get carried away when pregant women are around

I never minded so much size comments. What did piss me off was people feeling my bump being hard and announcing that I am having braxton hicks because they can feel it so hard.

No.

I have never felt any. My bumps are just hard from the beginning. I would put it down to fab stomach muscles, but it is clearly just a freak pregnancy thing as I have no stomach muscles not pregnant.

It is then normally followed by "are you sure?" By the end of DS I was ready to hit people. No, I am not sure. This wasn't the end of the second time round with these bloody stupid comments or anything.

I'm 32 weeks and I get the 'you're huge / you must be overdue / I wasn't as big as you when I was 2 weeks overdue / wow you've grown' comments all the time.

I say 'I'm measuring spot-on for my dates and I've put on a couple of stone but, hey, I'm FCKING* pregnant you dumb-ass....'

I don't really say that. I just smile and nod and move on....

It used to make me livid when people used to comment on my 'huge' bump, so when my friend got pregnant and I saw her at about 5mths, I said (thinking I was being nice) "oohh, you're hardly showing at all are you?". Her face fell. Apparently some women like looking big and pregnant! I felt really guilty but now I know- in all situations- don't say anything at all other than how are you? You look fab etc

im 36 weeks and people keep asking me if im having twins..i smile politely and tell people im a greedy cow whos ate to much pizza...soon shuts them up...

I hate it when people comment about how I put on weight 'everywhere' when pregnant. When I told my sister about my last pregnancy, she announced, 'I just KNEW you were pregnant, look at your face, it's got all chubby' gee, thanks

Can't wait to announce that I am pregnant for a third time. I can imagine it now- 'yes, you have got wider/arms are fatter/thighs are chunkier/face is bloated'

Why do people feel they have the right to make you feel self concious at a time when you are sensitive enough already!

I've got a small bump and frequently get accused of not eating and starving myself and my baby so as not to 'have lots of baby weight'
Thats more hurtful than comments about being bigger.

It is annoying whether you are big or small - someone somewhere must have a perfectly average-size bump going completely un-commented upon but I've never heard of it.

I am small again this time (2nd pg) and again getting 'You're really tiny aren't you?" etc. First time round it did worry me - was there something wrong with my baby? The comments don't stop after they're born, either. Ds wasn't quite 7 lb when born and it annoyed me when people would talk about their big babies and comment how they were a 'healthy' size. Er, ds is perfectly healthy too, thanks .

This time round I am fairly impervious to all remarks about my size and just think people don't really know what to say about pregnant women so end up making inane and insensitive comments.

I get comments on my bump all day (Due July)
"when are you due"
"Your big for that arn't you"
"your small for that arn't you"
"You havent put much weight on"
"you have put on quite a bit"

seeing as the general public can't make up their mind what am I supposed to think
My usual response is I carried both my previous chilren exactly the same and they are both perfectly healthy thanks.

I had a checkout woman in the supermarket ask me if I was having a Christmas baby while I was getting my shopping back in December there. I'm still pregnant now, baby not due for another two weeks! I took great pleasure in telling her it was in fact an easter baby, and watching her face resemble a tomato...

Although dd1, who is 2, made me laugh today when she pulled up my tshirt and since I'm wearing a bump band underneath it, she asked me "Where mummy's tummy? Mummy's tummy gone!?" No dear, its that enormous mass that's blotting out the sun....

Didn't bother me, I agreed my bump was huge! Not like they were saying look at your big fat arse or anything.

I often comment on the size of bumps, hate to think it was taken the wrong way, surely a big bump is the sign of a good healthy growing baby, (or in my case just alot of fluid, big bump, tiny babies!)

Will be more tactful in future.

MIL and FIL decided to start "joking" that i was carrying triplets /twins/ a baby on a horse?? wtf?? i was so big/huge, and all the oh any day now stuff .... yesterday (am 38 weeks)

i just said look there's just the one in there ok, the scan has proved that now can we drop the triplet crap please.

very rude i know but MIL has commented all through the whole pregnancy how HUGE i am and every time i stand up (not often due to spd and slipped disc granted) she thinks its fine to take pictures on her phone (without asking) to show round the family as if im some sort of circus freak!!! by yesterday i had enough, oops!!

yep i'm very hormonal can you tell lol

Dont only hate the size comments but also the ones who 'predict' the sex of baby by the shape of the bump. Am 32 wks, have had 3D scan so know it's a girl but still people keep telling me it's 'definitely' a boy.

Have carried both DS and DD in exactly the same way,but still when I tell people this and that I know it's a girl, they insist on telling me about their friends niece/colleague/next door neighbour where the scan got it wrong...I saw her bits in 3D FFS, if she's a boy he's got a problem!!

You could always say "You're huge too, how many weeks now?"

How about "I'm not actually pregnant"

Or, "I had the baby a month ago"

Or "What makes you think that?"

Or mock horror "Oh my god, do you think something's wrong then?"

Try this.

Random person - "Goodness me, you're getting big, aren't you?"

Pregnant person - Look nonplussed, look at people behind you, then cast eyes around until finally alighting on your own bump. Then yell "OH MY BLOODY HELL FIRE WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN OH NO HELP ME, SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE?!?!?" and hyperventilate.

kidowner nice Xposts!

I'm going to try VerityClinch's one if I get the chance, too...

I think a lot of this sh**te is down to people feeling smug when comparing their non-pg size to yours - the fact that there's a BABY in there doesn't enter their heads.

I get partic wound up when it's family comments though ... During each of my 4 pg my bitchy lovely mother trotted out the same story over & over again, of how when she went into hospital the nurses put her in post-natal as she was so tiny they thought she'd already had me, & how she was only 6 1/2st after I was born ... such a lot of effort on her behalf just to highlight how 'massive' I was. Despite me being a good foot taller, having big broad shoulders & large feet, she doesn't seem to have registered that we're of different builds. However, my parents also refer to whole 9 months process as 'getting fat' - so whole raft of issues there!!!

No wonder I live in different country, & plan on not telling them about DC5 until absolutely unavoidable .... possibly 8th month?!

Some funny come backs here! I'm sure I'll never use them as I do know people (MILs excepted!) aren't trying to be rude. I don't find the comments offensive so much as annoying, and particularly because the largness of my bump and baby is a source of discomfort and anxiety for me, an I don't feel like discussing it constantly with people.

I lookedf at some photos yesterday of me when I was 38 weeks with DS, and I am roughly the same size now, at 25/6 weeks. Its a bit stressful TBH.

I can certainly imagine that having comments about how small you are is just as intrusive and annoying, although I've never had that experience.

I know it is so annoying, don't think people think sometimes that you feel like a baloon!!!!!!

Doesn't help when one day, husband innocently went 'woah' when he looked at my ever expanding bump at 20 weeks, not a good move, Mr clarabeth. Strangely enough, doesn't do that now and just says I am getting bigger but 'just bump'

I am defo bigger in this pregnancy than first, bit of a shock to the system!!, however still in size 10-12 clothes so I keep telling myself.

Im pleased its not just me that thinks 'shut up' silly people, give me a break!!!!