Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VIII - Knicker Checkers and Pad Patrollers welcome

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

Is that ok?

Ladyhelen that's fantastic news - and I love the name Rufus! How fantastic! Sending you some healing vibes in return.

Sydney Still nothing here. I'm just going to resign myself to being pregnant forever.

Had a moment of tears and self pity at 3.30 this morning - I was really sure it was going to happen last night.

Feeling a bit low after a couple of thoughtless comments from someone as well. I've put so much effort into not blaming myself for the way H has behaved towards me, but apparently I "should be leaving the door a bit more open to him" and "have I considered how my behaviour causes things" and "I don't want to say things to you about it at the moment (because of your condition) but you just don't think about things the way I do, you're always so negative". I feel really really hurt and unsupported. And I know they were meant with the best possible intentions, but I'm left feeling confused and... well... hormonal and teary Just tell me to snap out of it, please.

Wheely I don't mind really always good to see you.

Tamlin so sorry your body is still messing with your head - it's so unfair. I did have a doppler and as long as you are someone who could try again later rather than panic instantly, I would recommend one.

Ladyhelen - congratulations!

Crunch - sending you hugs. You know the truth of the situation with H - don't let anyone, however well-meaning, mess with your mind. Eat some more creme eggs (or dairy milk, if like me you're a bit creme-egged out by now...)

Thanks cornflake, how are you doing? I'm overdosing on icecreams of late I think the problem is that for ages I let him blame me and I ended up believing it was my fault. So having to justify my feelings - having been asked to constantly by him - to someone else as well is just too much. I wish I'd said something at the time, but I was so taken by surprise that I just nodded

I'm feeling quite railroaded by this person's good intentions. She's forgetting to ask how and what support I want and instead is telling me when to expect her. I don't want to hurt her by asking her to back off a bit, but this is not the type of support I need

Morning all!

Oh Crunch that is just what you don't need. and a bit for you.

As Cornflake says you know the truth of what has been going on - don't let this person's twopence worth get to you. Sounds like she thinks she's helping when she is in fact bulldozing you. Come to think of it, I was wondering where my mother had got to .... how long has she been up there bothering you ?

Seriously though I find when people are interfering but clearly want to help, give them a concrete job to do and they'll be happy and hopefully out of your hair. Could you get her to take DC out for a while or go do some shopping for you?

And on the positive side, you're feeling teary, emotional and a bit wobbly .... mmmmm ..... sounds like the start of something interesting to me!

Thanks sydney I knew I could rely on you guys to cheer me up a bit I'll post your mum to you asap

H has left his mobile at home again too

Sod it, I'm just going to quietly have the baby in the corner of the room while DS2 watches cbeebies, and not call anyone

Not looking forward to all the "You still here?!" comments at nursery this afternoon. Why is it that I want them from you ladies but if I get them in RL they grate?

Grumble over. Honest. Well... at the very least, grumble paused.

Crunch - ignore them. You know the truth. And also ignore those nursery mums - I was getting the 'are you still here' for about 3 weeks before Lara was born and she came at 39+6 so not even overdue ! People just like to comment.

We're fine here thanks to all those for asking. Lara is 8 weeks on thursday . We get some good nights but some terrible ones . Had 2 glasses of wine last night and not much sleep and feel like I have been hit by a bulldozer !! Just trying to get Lara to sleep so I can snooze as dd1 is on a playdate until 3. Of course, Lara not having any of it. grrr Bless.

Hope everyone's doing ok - I try and lurk but often am feeding when doing so, so hard to post. Am keeping my beady little eye on all of you though .

Wheely 8 weeks already?! Hope you manage to get some sleep this afternoon. Can't wait to have my own little anti-typer getting in the way

Hi all... Hope you're not feeling too frustrated Crunch.. I thought I would be reading a birth story from you when i logged on..I think it'll be Thursday/Friday... I am keeping all crossed that its not on a day when your DH has forgotten his blinkin mobile! sigh.

LADYHELEN! Congratulations and what a lovely name I am so pleased that he's here safely!

Wheelybug 8 BLINKIN WEEKS it seems like 2 weeks ago max!!!!

Tamlin How are you today? I am so on the fence with the Doppler situation its unreal.. As crunch said, I think if you can just 'wait until later' if you cant locate HB straight away then its prob the way forward.

I am off to the midwife in a little while. I am TERRIFIED, why is it that i can feel him moving so so much now but i am STILL so unsure when i go for a doppler visit? I really dont want to go as I am so scared she wont be able to hear him and i've been imagining his movements all this time. I am so worried... at least its only another 12 minutes to go. DP is working 2 hrs away so mum is coming with me.. at least i'll have a hand holder

Hope everyone else is okay, sorry to have rushed this post.

xx

ashleigh it's terrible how even when your body is giving you all the right signs you can still panic. I hope you had a lovely appointment and feel reassured again.

I'm actually not feeling too frustrated in general, more worried I'll miss out on my homebirth if this goes on too long. Not stressed about it yet though - ask me again after Friday.

Hello ladies, would you mind if I joined in? Nervous following missed mc last November having had 2 completely problem free pregancies before that. Not sure how long I will be here - I'm 14 + 4 now and had some spotting a couple of weeks ago after first scan, then had another scan which was fine but then started spotting again this weekend. I know it happens, I know it may all be ok, but now feeling completely rubbish just as I'd told work / my kids / my difficult mother-in-law and starting to wonder if it's all about to go wrong again. I also have some back ache - but am prone to that so it may be unrelated. Sorry for rambling, just wondered if anyone can offer any encouragement? I do at least have an outpatient appointment tomorrow with the O&G team about something unrelated so will be able to talk to them about the bleeding, but finding it very difficult to get through today. Incessant discussion about train lines and stops with 4 year old is not quite enough to distract me.

Hello alana, welcome to the thread There are a lot of ladies on here who have had exactly the same symptoms as you and are now nearing the end of their pregnancy (or already popped ). The odds are definitely with you - although that never takes away any of the worries or stress, does it? Will you be able to get someone to have a listen with a doppler tomorrow? Feel free to ramble all you like here (I know I do)

Hi Alana welcome to knickercheckers.. you're definitely at the right place. Please try not to worry, although i have not had spotting since around 9 weeks I have been there, it is very difficult for us to give you the reassurance you need but hopefully when you hear everyone's stories you might feel a little bit better. I spotted and bled during early pregnancy, we're still here hanging on at 24 weeks I hope you are offered a reassurance scan tomorrow to put your mind at ease.

Midwife appointment went fine . My original midwife has retired and now have a jolly nice lady called Rhoda. Had bloods taken to make sure i don't have that liver disfunction thing because i have OTT itciness and am full body moisturising 3/4 times a day now... I wasnt too worried until she mentioned that she also measured me and i am exactly 24cm which is 'fab' apparently

crunch I am pleased you're not feeling too fed up.. How long do you have left before they rule out the homebirth? I will keep all crossed for you... this little girl just wants to be cosy in there for a little bit longer ay xx

ashleigh glad you had a good appointment. I feel for you with the itching, I had a couple of unbearable days and then was fine, but it was horrible. at your "fab" measurements. I haven't been given a definite time for when they rule out my Homebirth, but if I go much past next weekend then it's going to be induction (which I really want to avoid). She's certainly in no hurry to vacate the premises

Thankyou. Feeling ridiculously emotional. I think because my husband was much more upset than I was when I had the mc last year (was a surprise as I was taking the pill and I felt I'd barely had time to get used to the idea when I lost it) I am trying not to worry him too much this time. Stupid really. GP said that now I'm 39 I just have to expect more complications, which did nothing for me but make me feel old!

Alana at your GP - what a "helpful" thing to say Pregnancy is a time of extreme emotions even when you haven't got the added worry of a previous miscarriage. Don't beat yourself up for feeling how you feel - it really is normal. I'm sure your DH would prefer you leant on him than went through all your worries alone - but if you want to let it all out here instead then you absolutely can. Just remember that you are past the 12 week mark and your scan has shown you haven't had a missed miscarriage - this is all positive But it doesn't mean you can't feel worried or sad or confused too, and that's where support comes in

quick post as typing one handed due to also having a breast fond DS!

Hurrah!!!!!!!! Congrats ladyhelen and welcome to rufus . Poor you with the sore bits tho', hope they heal quickly.

crunchie my love, hope your DD doesn't make you wait too much longer. Make the most of sleeping. Colic has came to my wee fella and it's murder

Evening ladies!

Woohoo, congrats ladyhelen hope you're both settling in nicely at home now. Great labour, sounds just like my one with ds. My tear healed fine - try some drops of tea tree oil in a bath, it does help things along.

crunch sigh, no pics yet. Sending you lots of labour vibes and hoping it's still ok for a homebirth.

alana welcome, you're in the right place. I'm 13+4 and have had 2 m/c's after 2 textbook pg's so can understand where you're coming from.

tamlin hope the spotting has eased up for you.

Wheely ah, the first post birth hangover with child! Not the best way to spend a day it has to be said!!

scotlass hope the colic isn't too awful for him, poor little mite. Hope you're not being run too ragged with it all too.

As for me, Aberdeen was great. Had a lovely time visiting family and even got to tell the extended family which was nice. Lots of lovely positive 'wonderful news' type reactions.

Hope I haven't forgotten anyone there, apologies if I have [waves]

Hi Scarlotti glad Aberdeen was good. Lovely and light up there this time of year.

Hello Alana and here's to a long and happy time on this thread, hope the spotting eases soon - you too Tamlin

Nice to see you again Scotlass - have you taken the bairn out in the caravan yet? Hope the colic eases up soon and you all get some sleep.

Right Crunch - am thinking of you and La Piccolina Trocodilla - bet she comes any day now.

As for me - hooray I have a husband home from overseas tomorrow, and - gulp - the anomaly scan on Thurs am. Am not soooooooooooooo terrified about this one after the special heart scan at 18 weeks, but you know how it is - will doubtless be quaking in boots come Thurs am.

scotlass good to see you Although I'm still full of too at your little muncher . Hope you get some sleep soon.

Scarlotti great that you had a good break, it's lovely to be able to enjoy telling people at last

sydney still nothing here. Will be thinking of you tomorrow (although as you said, I'm sure anything would have shown up on your detailed heart scan) I hope baby is feeling photogenic for you

Hope all is well out there this morning x

Hey! Helen! Well played with Rufus. He sounds very eager to get out in the world.

I keep having waves of terror that within eight weeks, I am actually going to be having a baby. It's going to come out of my fanny. Probably. I'm not going to be in control. It's going to hurt more than I can possibly imagine. I might have it in the taxi. I've probably forgotten something vital. He might be born dead. I might not like him. He might not like me. DP might not like me any more. I might be horrible in labour. Am I mad?

I don't want him to come out! Stay there! Where I know you're alright!

I am generally hormonally a bit crazy, though. Sudden waves of tearfulness, extreme anger, and finding the most tedious things fascinating.

herby it's perfectly normal to feel the way you're feeling. I remember with both of my dc's having a stunned moment of realisation at around 7 months that there was only one way out and I'd have no control as to when it would actually happen.
Trust in your body and its ability to give birth, add to that the knowledge that modern medicine can take all the pain away if you so choose and you'll be fine.
You WILL fall in love with your little one - some do immediately and some take more time, neither is right or wrong, but you will both feel an overwhelming love for him and will find yourselves actually comtemplating taking a nice bite out of a chubby cheek as it just looks so yum!!

Oh, and yes you might be horrible in labour but you won't be aware of it You might get some ribbing in future from dp though if he's one of the 'funny' ones like mine
When we went into the labour ward with ds, I made some comment about the woman next door being very loud - in a kind of hyacinth bucket way - needlesss to say a few hours later I was up there with her in the noise dept.

sydney hope you're enjoying having dh home and good luck for tomorrow. Are you finding out the sex?

crunch any twinges yet?

Thanks Scarlotti. It's a good job our bodies take over, or we'd never dare admit that we're about to give birth!

Another symptom seems to be not being able to think about anyone except ME ME ME, so apologies that I can't always remember what stage people are at.

Does anyone else STILL have this fear of tempting fate? Every time I get something for Cromwell, talk about him, go to an ante-natal class, think about where to put his cot, I feel I'm jinxing the whole thing, and am being ridiculous for believing it's going to work out. Just a highly developed self-protection mechanism, I dare say, but most convincing.

herby you'll be fine when you get there. All sense of reality tends to disappear and you get on with it. After an hour or two labouring with ds I turned around to dh and announced that I'd had enough for today and wanted to go home. Was more than happy to come back the next day and pick up where I'd left off, but I'd had enough
Ds naturally had other ideas!!

Yes to the jinxing thing although I'm still at the early stage so am hoping it will ease as I get further along.

Hi ladies, have two hands free, a sleeping DS, TV watching DD and dinner making DH, life is good

herb don't worry it's natural to start having these worries at this stage. I found I found I'd managed to convince myself for so long that the pg would end in mc the normal labour fears came on me like a ton of bricks about 2wks pre birth. Probably why I did nearly end up having Nathan in the house/garden/car as I was still in denial that I was carrying a live baby . However I can honestly say I appreciate every squeak, howl and dirty nappy and know that losing the 3 pg's has made me savour my boy even more. Also tempting fate was definately on my mind, the meagre amount of stuff I'd bought was all still in its packages in case it needed to be returned and the pram was hurriedly put together the day before we came home by DH. It's all survival tactics post mc in my opinion. Fingers crossed for an easy labour for you. My DH nearly got punched when he told me to sshhh! Hats off to the scientologists if they really can have noise free labours

sydney good luck tomorrow, I'm sure they would've picked up an anomaly at 18wk scan if there was one to be seen so try and enjoy seeing your little one. Funny you should ask but we're off camping to the Highlands this week-end. We've bought a small camper van and trialed it the week before Nathan came so it's time for our first family adventure It's DHs 40th birthday on Saturday and his idea of a good time is thrashing around on a scary mountain bike trail - madness.

scarlotti glad you had a good time in the granite city. It's really nice to be at the stage of telling people.

crunch sigh.......... maybe tomorrow?

I can't believe my darling boy is 3wks on Friday. Has decided he doesn't need to sleep, prefers to fart than burp but gets a sore tummy and suprise suprise DD has handed him to me and he's on the boob again - you've all got this to look forward to!!

Thanks for all the welcomes, as I expected the obstetrician couldn't wait to get out the scanner and baby was in there moving around and no obvious cause of any bleeding. She said sometimes you get bleeding from marginal vessels and if it continues another week to get the midwife to refer me for yet another scan. Managed to wee all over my hand, jeans and toilet while trying to catch a sample so came home more worried about old lady smell than everything else that has been going on