Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VIII - Knicker Checkers and Pad Patrollers welcome

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

Is that ok?

I know, Scarlotti, but I had a Fenton's repair to fix the botched episiotomy, and while Fenton's tend to work quite well, if it tears during labour (and episiotomy scars do tend to) then it just won't heal up properly again. I'm petrified of that happening, and I don't trust the attendants to watch and protect me from that happening after the level of neglect with ds.

scary 8 week scan today - all well at first hurdle - been put on cyclizine and gearing up for the next four weeks! Hope your all well ladies.

Ouch Tamlin I'd be nervous too, I'm guessing private one-on-one midwife or doula is out of the question? Or even an elective c-section? Hope you're not offended by that suggestion - was not sure if I should even post it, esp as I have no experience of any kind of live baby birth.

Prettyfly congrats on a good scan .
What is cyclizine for?

I would really like an elective section, but I think my odds are quite low of getting one - every time I read a newspaper article about women who are too posh to push and the huge cost of sections to the NHS my heart sinks a bit. The midwife did say she'd book me with a consultant to discuss my worries - I just hope they don't soft-soap me with the usual 'ooh, it'll probably be fiiiine' bollocks.

We are getting a doula - I'm interviewing one next week. She seems really nice, so I'm hopeful - and she's not as expensive as we thought she'd be.

sydney Welcome back! Another secretive scan, eh? I bet when the baby arrives it'll be the type to bumshuffle down to one end of the cot, so that when you have a peep in the night you think "OMG OMG how did the baby get out?!?!?" Glad it all worked out in the end!

prettyfly great news about the scan, hurdle cleared indeed!

Tamlin I know how horrible it is to just be coming to terms with the baby sticking, only to realise that you have to now face up to talking through a traumatic first birth experience. I'm just adjusting my mantra now from "Every pregnancy is different!" to "Every birth is different!" and trying not to get too bogged down with distressing memories.

Crunch I want to echo how strong you've been, I've only been around a few months but it seems to me that you hold this thread together and have lots of compassion to share. Thank you. I really hope your DH comes through for you, but if not, your reserves of smartness will carry you and the family through. Have a creme egg from me.

On that note, my online shop is arriving soon, and although I ordered a full week's worth of food in the end, I did include some creme eggs just for me. I must make sure I answer the door so that I can squirrel them away promptly...

oh and while I wait for the doorbell -
ashleigh great news about the kicks!

and

scarlotti We used Cotton Bottoms, it really was a piece of cake, saved piles of cash and I think the nappy wraps are much nicer looking than disposables! I didn't discover nappy liners until DD was about 3 months old though, had thought they were an optional accessory but they made everything even easier. We switched to disposables when DD was about 18 months as by then she was so active that Cotton Bottoms just wouldn't stay up or contain things, and we were too far through to invest in a whole new set of nappy equipment.

Gentle you do make me laugh (and cheer me up no end about scary stuff). Much appreciated as DH is away again for a week.

Tamlin I had no idea it was hard to get an elective c-section. Surely in a situation like yours it's miles apart from being Too Posh To Push? Hope you get some joy out of your consultant .... and that yours is able to locate your baby, unlike mine.... mumbles darkly to self....

I also love cloth nappies, but put them on hold with 2 year old DS when the sickness appeared.Today pre-washed some lovely new fluffles & mothercare smart nappies.
Havn't posted for ages as just cruising along uneventfully(waddling)in pregnancy.Am 29 weeks now!.Divorce came through.Ex DH(father of baby)has got a new girlfriend.Am being continually told by him 'so & so'hopes it's a girl'& 'she's been looking at baby clothes today in Asda' Is this not a weird situation?

Tamlin stick to your guns about the elective c-section. My sil managed to get one agreed as her previous birth was so traumatic, even though the two before had been straight forward. She decided then though not to bother once they'd agreed but that's another story. Her prev labour was just long and baby was back to back.

mumface difficult situation for you - guess though that if you're happy with the situation with ex-dh and ok with him having a new girlfriend, then nicer that your dc will have a welcoming partner of its dad than not.

Off to bed now ladies, see you tomorrow

mumface, that is weird - I suppose you want your ex's new partner to at least be interested in his kids, but picking out baby clothes?! Oh well, maybe she'll be a help when it's his turn to have them.

Cloth nappy people, did anyone use any cloth pull-ups? Ds is interested in the potty and keeps wanting to sit on it in order to squeeze out a few drops before doing a victory dance, but it's such a faff getting wrap plus nappy off him...

Sydney bloody consultants. It's like doctors taking blood - none of them can do the basics! You've got a mischievous little one there already glad she's fluttering for you again.

Tamlin make it really clear to your MW and anyone else just how important not feeling neglected is to you. Have it in your birth plan as a fear and make sure your DH and doula are well versed in demanding attention for you when you need it. Chances are all will go smoothly, but if you can be sure you're getting full attention it might help sooth the situation. So sorry you had such a horrible time of it before. I echo Sydney that this is not a case of "too posh to push" if you want a C-section for fear of a permanent injury then that is a reasonable request and should be considered as such. If it's what you want go for it - certainly no shame in it whatsoever! Oh and I used bright bots trainer pants - which are good for if caught a little short, but won't contain a whole accident.

mumface hello! It is a weird one, sounds like he's trying to convince himself (or she's trying to convince him) that it's 'completely ok' that you're about to have his baby. Seems a bit forced to me Glad you're ok.

Prettyfly that's great news Congratulations

Gentle you've just made me sob into my Rice Crispies! In a good way. Enjoy those creme eggs

And as for me - still here in case you hadn't guessed Builders have just arrived next door so I dread to think what a racket I'll have to put up with. Ah well, keeping my positive face on today

Hello

i'm very sorry to barge in here all selfishly but i need some reassurance - i mc in feb (blighted ovum i think) and my eldest 2 (6 & 4) have just got D&V. I'm so totally terrified if i get it, it will make me mc? I'm only 6+1 now.

I'm so scared.

Hi Scorpio Bargers always welcome. I have a friend who invariably gets D&V in every pregnancy and it has never affected the baby at all. They are hugely resilient to our illnesses and at 6+1 are not reliant on the placenta for nutrients either - so even more likely to be completely unaware of anything you're going through.

It's tough not to worry, but if you do get ill it will not cause an MC. It really won't. Hope you're ok.

Oh and before I forget, congratulations on your BFP

thankyou so much

Scorpio you've come to the right place to air your fears and worries. We've all been there before so feel free to express how you're feeling at any time.
I agree with crunch D&V won't harm the baby but to ease your worry and feel like you're actively doing something, go through all the usual precautions (hand washing etc.) and if you have one of those hand sprays then bonus.
Hang in there.

crunch maybe trocodile will be so curious as to what the noise is she'll come out for a look herself?!

waves hello to everyone else!

i am hand washing all the time and bleaching and hot washing things

dd had it last week and we didn't get it then, so hoping i won't this time.

I'm waiting for an early scan appointment letter, hopefully that will help.

scarlotti we can only hope ominous knocking coming from next door - it's the drilling I can't cope with.

If it gets too bad I'll just go next door and groan a bit - I can't imagine any builder would stick around if there's a chance they might have to deal with icky-woman juices

Scorpio anytime, feel free to ask about anything you're worried about (no matter how daft it may seem) it's always amazing how many other people come on and say "I had that/felt that - and it's all fine".

Morning all, and welcome Scorpio Congrats on your pregnancy.

Mumface mmmmmm.....am not sure how I would feel in your situation to be honest. I agree that it is better to have an Ex's partner who is enthusiastic rather than hostile about your baby, but I wouldn't know what to make of the baby clothes buying or the gender preferences. How do you get on with her?

Crunch at your next-door builders but have a plan for you - ask them to come in and help you lift something / move something etc so you can mention you are about to give birth any minute and will be doing so at home - maybe will make them run for hills or at least knock off early?
How well do you know neighbours?

Morning everyone else !

Morning ladies! My my, I have got a very very twitchy back - causing me to limp like an old man!!

I hadn?t read the 'throw up at the table' comment before i left work haha I am LAUGHING my head off ! I am trying to be relaxed about it all and just let it wash over me, I know it's not going to be forever and I don't want to cause bad feeling.. BUT she only does it when no one else is around! Last night, outside she went into the garden etc etc... then this morning WHAM lit up while i was there! My DP has said he'll speak to her about it but I think at the moment if I just steer clear of communal spaces while its just us in the house I?ll be fiiiiiiiiiine.

Crunch I am with Scarlotti, I have a feeling the noise will intrigue your princess and she'll make a big show into the world... hopefully not when you're going round in your bag lady attire to tell the builders to stop being so noisy though

Hi there Scorpio firstly congratulations on your BFP. Secondly, I wouldn?t worry too much about D&V I had a bit of an upset stomach when I was in Malaysia and it was either something I ate or a D&V bug as my DPs dad and his gf also had it. This was around my 6 week mark so I was terrified but we're still okay. The lengths you're going to, I am sure you're not going to get it in the first place but try not to worry too much (an impossible task for us lot, i know)

Sydney I am imagining it was a case of 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand breathe' my goodness, you've got a little mischievous baby in there ;) bloooooody consultants! Dont they know how on edge us ladies are already! I am so pleased it was a brilliant outcome though. When is your next scan?

Tamlin I am with the others, stick to your guns on this one! You are not being 'too posh to push'! I was reading something that Coleen Rooney had said (in a trashy magazine but hey ho) and it annoyed me.. she thinks that she will 'book in' for an elective c-section because Wayne will be due to play on her due date or something similar! That is too posh to push, you are not! I have not been through childbirth so I really dont know what else to say but i really hope that you get what you want on this one!

congratulations prettyfly gentle I had forgotten about the creme egg conversation... so thanks.. now i am dreaming of that sticky centre and the thick outer chocolate shell.. I am not jealous. I am not jealous. I am not jealous. Also i have a donut in my bag for emergencies!

Hi there Scarlotti how are you today? have all the feelings settled in now and is it all feeling a bit more real?

xx

Hi Sydney it's a second home so I don't know them at all. It's one of the bonuses of this house actually that although we are terraced no one lives on either side except for a couple of weeks a year. Usually a bonus... All my other neighbours are lovely and would never arrange to have work done at the moment!

I am perfectly willing to go and stand at the front door mid-contraction and grunt that I need a bit of peace and quiet, if need be They've just started drilling, but it's not too loud - hope the work gets finished today!

Will make a point of dawdling outside the house when I take DS2 to nursery, so they get a good look of the enormous woman next door. One of the neighbours is a plasterer and knows every builder in the area (and everyone always owes him a favour - useful man to know) so I can always get him to "have a word" and encourage them to go to another job if need be

ashleigh cross post! at your MIL - what is she playing at? If she's agreed to not smoke around you then you are within your rights to ask her not to - in a friendly, "I feel terrible asking you to do this in your own home, but please could you smoke outside or warn me so I can go upstairs." Or as I suggested before, either vomit on the table or on her A vomit can say a thousand words.

Hi everyone - It's taken me three days to catch up - each time I try I get interrupted - babies, eh? So selfish, they are . I've loved reading dan and gentle's wise words about falling in love with your lo and mourning your previous life. I'll never forget sitting in bed on day 4 with the cat, having handed a crying baby to DH an hour earlier, and knowing I was going to have to try to feed her again and thinking 'I wish it was just me and DH and the cat again' and feeling this enormous surge of affection for ... the cat ... after all, he is so undemanding and furry and cute. But then she's so incredibly cute too, when she's being all wide awake and interested in things, or fast asleep and content.

Scotlass ? congratulations . So happy for you, and how wonderful that all is going so well with bf, too, you lucky lady. Love the name Nathan, as well - it was on our list if we had a boy. He?s gorgeous ? looks similar to Maya, actually, with all that lovely hair

Scarlotti ? so pleased to see you had a lovely scan ? and good news about your DH, too.

Crunch ? grrr at your H. Honestly, I?d love to come over and give him a piece of my mind.

daisy lovely to hear from you Love the cat anecdote LadyH could be off popping as we type

crunch at going around and groaning! When ds was born we were having an extension done (was supposed to be finished by then) and my waters broke almost in front of the builders!

ashleigh glad to hear you're managing to be so calm with mil's smoking. Well done you. I am still feeling much more relaxed thanks, am hoping it continues this way!

daisy lovely to hear from you