Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VIII - Knicker Checkers and Pad Patrollers welcome

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

Is that ok?

And now I really really really want chocolate.

Tamlin mention any food at all and I want it! Just tested that by thinking of anchovies and olives - yup, want it

Oh dear.

Tamlin lol at the muppets - ds is currently in front of the power rangers whilst I get my mn fix!

Sorry to let the side down, but can't stand creme eggs

Then you can't be in our gang scarlotti!

Is it sinking in yet? You're 12 weeks and all is well!

Been listening to this all day - can't get it out of my head Song

At this time of night there are about 2 miles between me and the nearest cream egg (are they actually called creme eggs? Could be, I never leave the wrapper on long enough to notice).

I know it's my own fault, and I started it, but I really, really want a 3 pack of creme/eam eggs all to myself. Perhaps I should do an online shop? I'd pay someone a fiver to bring me some.

crunch nooooo, don't leave me out in the cold!!
It's starting to sink in and I'm starting to feel brighter. H went to the doc today too and spoke about energy levels. He's open to going to counselling and also doing a course of ad's so it's turned out to be a good day - the hint of something better is in the air.

Creme/eam eggs I will pass on .... mini eggs I'll walk over hot coals in my bare feet for

Scarlotti Great news about your DH at the doc, sounds like he's having a burst of initiative!

Mini eggs next then to make three out of three today!

No Crunch..?

gentle thanks, am hoping it's the start of things to come. ever the optimist!

Tamlin exactly what I was thinking..!

Crunch here's hoping you are otherwise engaged in the far more serious business of bringing trocodile princess into the world. We're all here rooting for you and waiting for news!!

Morning favourite ladies! I'm back from sunny Madrid and keen to hear all your news. Will just scroll back through everything and post more later.....

BTW no creme eggs in Spain

I'm still here.

sydney welcome back! Hope you had a lovely relaxing time.

scarlotti mini-eggs are also welcome in the club Glad your H is being pro-active. Mine is somehow finding time to play games on the computer, when he has no time to sort out his therapy or take any kind of active role in his improvement. It hit me last night that he hasn't made one appointment or found out any info for himself in the whole of the past 18 months. I've done it all for him Something tells me he's still not ready to make a change.

He's spent the last couple of days sulking - ever since we had that talk that I had thought was productive Wish he'd just grow up, it is so unattractive. So much for his promise to take the focus off his feelings and my behaviour and put it on my feelings and his behaviour.

I'll put that with all the other broken promises.

Sorry for the self-indulgent post. Wish baby would arrive to take my mind off things - I need to be busy and I'm not up to doing anything.

Oh Jools I am so so sorry to hear about your mc. I hope we?ll see you back on here very very soon. And am angry on your behalf at the way the sonographer treated you. My mcs were both at around 5 or 6 weeks and I had quite a bit of pain but not much bleeding, everyone?s different though. Going to the recurrent miscarriage clinic at St Mary?s is a good idea if you can get a referral ? my EPU nurse was able to do it but I also wrote direct to Prof Regan via Imperial College. Nice to see you popping in as well Jasmaxxy

Timtams Tamlin ? Where do you get them here? Or are you in Australia, and therefore just tempting me cruelly? Agree with you about being shocked when lucky non-mc people declare their pregnancies to all after about 5 minutes. We?ve all just lost our innocence about what can happen but I think it can be taken as a good reminder that most pregnancies are trouble free.
Congrats on your nuchal scan ? always great to see an active baby

Gentle how are things with you? Was checking out possible Knicker Checker Spa Retreats while in Madrid and think several are definite possibilities

Crunch how is the zen? Try ?Om Nammah Shivahaya? as it means ?I honour the divine within? ? I think it?s great for pregnancy but then I am a bit of an old yoga loving hippy at heart.... keep it well hidden though Hope you are off in the land of labour as we speak...

Scarlotti congrats on your 12 week scan and you also made me with your grammaticals. I?m an English language lecturer and it drives me bonkers when I see things in print that are blatantly wrong ? I don?t think it makes us snobs, that?s a lazy defence for people who don?t care about clear communication. There?s a huge difference between ?of? and ?have?, or ?your? and ?you?re? ... and it?s my job to sort out those kinds of errors. Often my international students have better grammar than the home students too... I?m always making mistakes on this thread too though so I promise I?m not proof-reading anyone?s posts.

Ashleighbee hope you are doing ok at your MIL?s and not inhaling. The only bad thing about Madrid was the fact that every man and his dog there smokes all the time. Made me think of you ? hope you are at least able to have all the windows open. And the dizzy spells ? have you spoken to a midwife yet? I got those early on but think it was dehydration.

LadyHelen any sign of the Honourable Bump?

Lola are you ok? Have not heard for ages.

Herb how is SPD?

Scotlass, Wheely and tsom thanks for letting us know what it's all about

to everyone else, off to fridge now for lunchtime foraging. Phew, catching up on a week?s load of this thread has taken me 2 hours! Good job I?m shirking from home today Then a consultant ante-natal appointment at the hospital this afternoon. Not quite sure what to expect at that - no scan I think, I'm 20 weeks today (yay!) but anomaly scan (quake) is on May 7th.

Cross posted Crunch!

Grrrr at your not-so-D H .

He should at least be spoon-feeding you pineapple chunks and playing with a nipple or two to speed things along.

SydneySuze, I grew up in NZ - hence the TimTam fixation developed as an adolescent before returning to the auld sod - but you could get TimTams at the Oxford Tesco's on Cowley Road (not the fancy coffee or double chocolate ones, but bog-standard TimTams).

Good luck with the anomaly... will you ask the sex, or are you just worried about everything else at this point?

Thanks sydney I just wish I could either accept that he has changed for good into this person I don't want to be with, or that he would make a real effort to get himself together.

The worst thing is I sometimes think, sod this H can massage me, twiddle nipples, provide a labour-starting service and I call him, expecting the man I married to come through the door, but instead this stranger walks in and whatever I was planning on asking him to do vanishes in a puff of smoke.

I don't remember the last time we slept together - 5 months ago? God, has it been that long?

Oh, I am a sad example of womanhood.

Oh Crunch my heart goes out to you. As if pregnancy after mc were not a rollercoaster enough all by itself, you have been dealing with relationship upheaval all along as well. An old friend of mine went through hell with a partner who was transformed through mental illness (in his case marijuana induced paranoid schizophrenia) into a whole different person, and she tried to make it work for 4 years before finally ending the relationship. She said she felt cheated of the person she had fallen in love with, and the hardest thing was accepting that nothing she could do would bring him back.

Here's hoping that Little Trocadillo puts in her first appearance soon to bring some much deserved joy into your life. All together now 'Om nammah shivayahhh.......'

Tamlin am very excited to have another upside-down person on this thread . I'm half/half Brit - Aussie as I was born in London but have two nationalities, and spent my childhood here (UK) but my twenties in Oz (hence the name).

We will see if our baby is flashing any bits our way at the 21 week scan, as he/she was keeping everything well hidden at 18 weeks. As Gentle said at the time, it was actually very cute that the baby was keeping something up his/her sleeve , but my DH really wants to know this time. I'm letting him have the call as I don't really mind not knowing, but after everything that has happened to us over the last year or so he really wants to know things for sure whenever possible.

I figured there is so little that our partners can do pro-actively in pregnancy (well, apart from starting it all off of course ) that giving them responsibility for some of the decisions helps them be involved.

Right, am now in mood for mini-eggs. Where can I get them after Easter????

Sydney am chanting as I type (is that what Indiana Jones says when grappling with the baddie on a broken rope bridge in India?)

Just need my brain to shut up and stop overanalysing everything! Then I'll be fine.

Just walked DS2 to nursery wearing H's mud-stained waterproof (only one that fits) and some black tracksuit bottoms (that I have previously only ever worn as pyjamas), and wondered when exactly my sense of style escaped? As I walked along considering how I would never, ever normally be seen in public looking quite so unkempt (especially since when I looked down I realised DS2 had slimed my trousers as well) I couldn't help by giggle - that definitely got me some funny looks.

Think I'm now the local "crazy pregnant lady"

Hi Ladies,

I am VERY excited today... My partner felt the baby kicking last night!!! I now feel like it is 100% real.. his kicking and moving 24/7 (or so it seems) is not just in my imagination as now SOMEONE ELSE HAS FELT HIM!!

Crunch Nice/not so nice(?!?) to see you here today - I checked in quickly this morning and thought you might be otherwise engaged . I have a lovely image of a crazy pregnanct lady wandering around the streets.. I am sure your little princess will be here aaaaaaaaany day.

Sydney WELCOME BACK! I am pleased you had a nice break away, I will be trying very hard to watch my punctuation.. Things at MILs are shmokeeeey! We have a freezing cold bedroom and febreeze.. My DP is so lovely and makes sure everything is nice and tidy/smoke free as poss in our bedroom! MIL said on Fri that she would be smoking outside - this was a big fat lie to DP as this morning whilst i was eating breakfast she was puffing away without any windows open! I cant be bothered with the confrontation of it all.. I am off to visit friends in Cambridge this weekend so that will be a welcome breath of fresh air! I wonder if your LO will bare all to you at the scan! I wonder if we should add gender onto our list when putting ourselves up so we know who is having what and who isnt going to be finding out I wonder if you just have a shy little baby there? When is your scan? Onto the Mini eggs Q - I think Blockbuster ALWAYS have them in, whether Easter or Christmas!!

I would like creme eggs/mini eggs/a toffee crisp/a wispa/a ripple/a bigfatbag of donuts... ummmm.. Ben & Jerrys phish food ice cream... I think thats it..

Also, has been a while since Lola posted, do we know how she is??

sydney welcome back and great that you had a lovely time in Madrid. We're going to find out the sex (baby willing) and ours is more driven by H than me. I'm on the fence but fancy knowing this time, he's definite about knowing and mainly for practical reasons. I figure he might as well get to choose something!

ashleigh at your schmokey mil for you. You're being very zen about it. The guys here at work come in after a fag break and it's all I can do not to retch in front of them

crunch bless you and your bag lady attire You have been so strong throughout this and there's nothing more I'd love than to pop up to Yorkshire and give your H a damn good kick up the jacksee. I'm sure that once trocodile princess arrives that will keep you occupied for a while, whilst you can then see if H ever bothers to move things forward. He might surprise you yet, but don't ever doubt the strength you have inside - certainly enough to run a house and 3dc's if it were ever required.

I will add here that whilst mine finally has done something off his own back to move our issues forward, it's taken 5 years of me 'mentioning it' at about 6 monthly intervals for it to happen. Am not holding my breath (don't think baby likes that anyway ) but am using the whole situation to mean that should we end up splitting, all avenues were exhausted.

How are all our new Mum's getting on?! Anyone using real nappies? I've been given a load from a friend and like the idea, whether the practical side will stack up only time will tell!!

Chocolate ... mmmm.... is the canteen still open I wonder?!

Hi ashleigh, glad your DP is being wonderful and being rewarded by a bouncing baby! I really hope you get into that house asap. I recommend throwing up at the dinner table with the words, "Oh woe is me, the smoke... bleurgh!" - surely you would only have to do this once to get your point across?

Scarlotti you'll make this bag lady all weepy! Stop it! I am a real nappy user and have never found it too much. My only advice would be don't start using them in the first couple of weeks - I've known so many people give up because "they're too much work" at this time. They seem to forget that everything is too much work in the first weeks I use bamboozles which are very absorbant but take ages to dry. I've just got £30 back from my local council for spending £50 on nappies - you might want to check out if your council does something like that if you want to get more at any time.

Are you getting the idea that I love my reusables? Makes me feel suitably smug

Lola are you out there?

crunch have been looking into what the council does, don't think ours are as generous as yours sadly. A friend has given me 20 first size little lamb nappies along with the wraps and booster pads. I was thinking of doing disposables for the first week or so and then giving it a go. I looked on the little lamb site and they do bamboo ones which are supposedly more absorbent than the cotton so thinking I might get some of those for overnights.

I would love to get into the swing of it as am getting quite green these days. Whether I'll manage is another thing though, and as for when I go back to work ....!

Lol at throwing up at the dinner table!!! ashleigh please do this and then tell us about it!!

Have just got back from appointment with Mr Big Cheese Consultant Man and he took (deep breaths everyone) FIFTEEN BLINKING MINUTES to find my baby's heartbeat

And he had to use two different dopplers

All a bit toooooooo much for a girl like me who lost a baby at 24 weeks last year to fatal heart problems. Good god. For the first time this pregnancy I wish I could have a drink! Wouldn't have been sooooo worried but several people had asked me if I was sure flying was a good idea before I went to Madrid, and I hadn't felt any movement for a couple of days so was quietly concerned even before the appointment.

Of course little dervish darling has given me lots of lovely flutters this afternoon since we left the hospital

I'll admit to being an ex cloth-nappier - I was pretty good about it until I got pregnant back in October, but when the queasiness and exhaustion really took hold, my desire to deal with cloth nappies took a hit. They DO take longer to put on than the chemical-packed disposables, and when ds is wriggling and frantically trying to kick me in the tummy, it's just too hard some days. For a few weeks there, I kept throwing up in the nappy bucket while I changed him, and I really didn't need a stack of Bamboozles in there getting covered...

Nowadays it's just one more thing I feel guilty about (endless Muppets, ds's new addiction to Fruit Shoots thanks to his pater...)

Feeling very - thoughtful about the midwife's visit this morning. Have been trying really hard not to think about getting this kid out of me at some point, because it seemed more important to concentrate on oh, it actually STAYING ALIVE that long - but the booking notes had a section to discuss past births and problems. There was not nearly enough space for the full horror of ds's birth. I felt like putting my hand up and asking the examiner for more paper, please.

sydney heavens, what was he trying to do, shock you into early labour Glad all ended up well but sounds like an afternoon you could have done without. Ruddy consultants, can't do the most basic things!

Tamlin have no idea about the details of ds' birth but I know of so many people who've had more than one labour but they've been completely different so please try not to worry too much. There is no correlation between a bad 1st labour and a bad 2nd. If anything, this should be easier as your body has done it once so try and relax.