Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VIII - Knicker Checkers and Pad Patrollers welcome

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

Is that ok?

Jools I have quickly popped on to see if you have posted, I am so sorry to hear that your treatment at Hemel was so rubbish, I also do not know why people take these jobs if they do not have the bedside manner in which to deal with sensitive issues. Please take your time away with your DH to relax and think of yourself. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. xx

Jools - I'm really sorry to hear your news. Look after yourself - and I hope you have a lovely time with DH next week.

Sorry to hear your news Jools and that you had to have such a brusque sonographer.
Take good care of yourself and take plenty of time to get over this. Holiday is a great way to relax and support each other.

just thought I'd check in on everyone,I've thrown myself into work - half heartedly! Waiting in anticipation for next cycle to begin....crunch hope all goes swimmingly with trocodile princess, and continue staying strong with DH, you never know, he might realise how important you are.
jools so sorry for your news, as you may of read, just been through the same thing, and I too havn't shed as many tears as before....don't know why this is, but all we can do, is keep on keeping on - maybe x

jasmaxxy hello, thank you for your lovely words. Are you ok? x

Jools - sorry to hear your sad news and its heartbreaking that you had to have someone as unsympathetic be the one that tell you. I will have a virtual drink for you tonightxxx

crunch yes I'm fine, you kind of have to be with the 3 other kids plus the DH, so, although I am OK, I seem to stalk mothers with prams, even when I'm driving......never done that before??I am also thinking I've got no 'eggs' left, and I worry that I'm going to go through all this again and again. It is all so strange to me, because prior to these two MC's, I didnt know what it was like to have any kind of a problem in pregnancy, in fact, I don't remember any single problem apart from tiredness. So I question myself now, that I am being selfish continuing to try, should I be happy with what i have? And then I start to panic, that if I don't try again I will regret it forever, blimey, did I say I was OK?????

jasmaxxy all sound normal reactions to me. It's not selfish to keep trying. That thought "should I be happy with what I have?" plagued me for ages. We'd been trying for dc3 for 3 years, it wasn't going to happen, it wasn't meant to be, I was making myself miserable wanting what I couldn't have, should I just give up? Should I get dh the snip and have done with it? So many negative thoughts.

I'm glad I didn't give up though

Don't beat yourself up for feeling how you feel. Of course you are happy with the three children you have already - just as you were happy with one and then two - it's not that simple. And you are allowed to be sad! You really are x

scotlass so many (belated) congratulations on the safe and speedy arrival of Nathan - lovely photo, I think they always look like proper babies in white babygros. I remember we joined the thread at around the same time and were feeling equally despondent in the early weeks with bleeding and disappearing symptoms, I hoped that we would both have positive outcomes and am delighted to hear your news. Glad to hear the BF is going well.

jools and Jasmaxxy sorry to hear your sad news, thinking of you both

All well here, really must get round to posting a photo

Joolsiam I am so sorry to hear your news, and cross that the sonographer was "cheerful." Take care.

jasmaxxy what you're going through is perfectly normal. fwiw - my step sister had the exact same thoughts after 2 m/c (one of which ended in horrendous bleeding and an ambulance). A lot of the family were saying she should just be grateful for her dd and not push for any more and risk her health. She went to her doc for advice - doc said if they'd had one together already there was no reason why they shouldn't have another and it was just damned bad luck that there had been 2 m/c.
Ethan was born last November and is a wonderful completion to their family. She's so thrilled that they didn't give up!

HAPPY DUE DATE CRUNCH - Hope it all kicks off soon !!

Sorry - hadn't read thread so should also add

jools and Jasmaxxy - sorry to read your news. Take care of yourselves and hope you're back here to stay soon.

Tsom - glad all going well, look forward to seeing piccies !

Thanks Wheely I'm still here although had a huge number of not-quite-strong-enough-to-be-real contractions last night that I was really hoping would develop into something, but no. I have all your bits and pieces in my labour kit ready to use Just need labour now! Hope all is going well at your end.

Tsom glad all is still going well - would love to see a picture.

Jasmaxy - thanks to some suggestions from others lovely MN'ers, I'm thinking along the lines of - well, I'm nearly 40 so some of my eggs must be past their sell-by date but there must be a few good ones in there - I just need to crack a few more open till I find one that is still in date. Just to cover all bases, I'm going to pursue a referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic aswell - I think my problem is probably just age and bad luck, but you never know, it might be something easily fixed.

I must admit, if this had been another MC at nearly 12 weeks, I might be giving up by now, but the hormone crash started last night and hasn't been too bad. I'm absolutely determind to try again asap - hopefully in a few months, we'll both be back here comparing notes

Got a letter this morning from the GP I saw to announce the pregnancy on Tuesday - apologising because my request for an early reassurance scan had been turned down - get this - because they now do 12 week scans in my area !! I wish computer systems were joined up and she had bothered to check my notes before sending it out

Does anyone know how much bleeding would be expected with a 5.5 week MC ? Today is day 3 of light - medium AF like flow - only seen one big clot. I've just done a high impact aerobics class at the gym, in the hope of speeding things up and getting it over with before I go on hols !!

jools just checked in to see if there was any news from you. Gutted to see what you are going through.

I had a mc at about your stage, and I had v little pain. in fact i thought it was a normal period and so for 5 days I had no idea what was actually going on, until the bleeding continued for another 5 or so days. It was never very heavy, just like my period continued for a bit longer. The only reason I discovered what it was , was because I went to the GP and told him I'd been bleeding for 10 days. he said, have you done a pg test? Duh, no because I thought it was just a period. Anyway, i went away and did one. It was postive but it was obvious what in fact was happening. The answer to your question is hopefully you'll not be in much pain and the bleeding won't be too distressing although it may continue for a few more days.

Do get that referral to the RM clinic. I did and am now 8 days away from my due date. The other thing that really helped me was reflexology. It helped with relaxing and getting my cycles back after my mcs. I then began to schedule my sessions for around the time I OV'd and lo and behold, on AF after my last mc, bingo.

You'll get there. DOn't give up just yet!

Jools I know what you mean about wishing GPs would make sure I was gutted when my MW called me to see why I wasn't at my 15 week appointment (lost baby at almost 14 weeks) - she was so apologetic, I'd completely forgotten about all appointments and the GP hadn't put my notes on the computer.

Hope you're feeling ok today.

Ladyhelen not long now, how are you holding up?

crunch am bored bored bored!! Have been having a show for a good few days, period like pains for over a week now, baby is 2/5 but other than that, all is quiet. Hoping tonight won't be the night as DH is reliving his youth at a Specials reunion concert 40 miles away from home, so could do without anything kicking off today!

How are things your end - both baby and H wise?

Ladyhelen, H is sulking and feeling hard done by - I've no idea why very bored of him and his need to be the centre of attention TBH, I'm not making decisions at the moment but I can't really see a way to save this marriage anymore I've just had enough of it all. In some ways I hope he's as disinterested in the baby as he has been in the pregnancy, at least then I won't have to share.

On the baby front, she has risen from 3/5 last week to 4/5 yesterday so she's heading in the wrong direction and nothing's as it should be.

That's my self-indulgence over with!

Crunch, oh dear - time for a long walk or swim?

Went for nuchal today, and all was well - no apparent reason for bleeding, and the consultant just said cheerily that I shouldn't panic unless I got sharp pain to go with it. Baby very titchy and very, very active - nuchal measurement took three times as long to get as we thought it would due to foetal lack of co-operation!

I can just feel a tension I didn't even know was there draining out of my shoulders... I'm so hugely, hugely relieved.

Crunch, oh dear - time for a long walk or swim?

Went for nuchal today, and all was well - no apparent reason for bleeding, and the consultant just said cheerily that I shouldn't panic unless I got sharp pain to go with it. Baby very titchy and very, very active - nuchal measurement took three times as long to get as we thought it would due to foetal lack of co-operation!

I can just feel a tension I didn't even know was there draining out of my shoulders... I'm so hugely, hugely relieved.

Tamlin How wonderful! I am delighted for you. It's great when the baby is feeling very active or very lazy, you get a good long performance that way - so reassuring in our circumstances. Enjoy that feeling of relaxation!

Tamlin that's brilliant news, I really hope you can begin to relax and just be a pregnant lady!

Still lots of contractions here, but no baby. A walk or swim may well be on the cards! I'm eating pineapple, I'm sniffing clary sage, I'm sitting on a birth ball...

Last night I was having contractions every 3 and a half minutes for several hours (but I knew they were still BHs, not strong enough). My body did exactly the same thing with both DSs - it can't seem to sort itself out

(Ask me again how much I want real contractions when I'm actually having them!)

Jools hope you're doing ok today. And I hope you have a relaxing break this week with no pressures at all.

Jasmaxxy still thinking of you too.

Gentle how are you? I'm losing track of how far on everyone is - thinking is not my strong point at the moment

Hello to all you lovely ladies - how is everyone doing today?

crunch you still here?! Am sending 'freedom' vibes to your trocodile princess. Don't worry about the engaging thing though, I've been told that with each successive pg your pelvis is wider and so baby can bob in and out right up to delivery. Just keeps us guessing I s'pose!

Sorry to hear things aren't good with H. Try and put it to the back of your mind whilst you get your princess into the world and settled. Plenty of time to kick him to the kerb if that's where your heart feels its heading. I think you should be selfish for a little while now and make the most of another pair of hands. You'll know when you feel ready to cope on your own.

I have my 12 week scan tomorrow so looking forward to that and also not! I have no reason to think there's anything wrong but you never do know.
H driving me up the wall again too. Does anyone else's H have to take 2 rests whilst mowing the front and back lawn?? (btw we don't have a big garden) My dd(14) did it for me last time and did it all in a one-er, strimming included. He's now taken himself back off to bed as only had 6 hours sleep last night as we had friends round.
Doesn't bode well for sleepless nights with a baby does it?

Thanks scarlotti am at the idea of her bobbing in and out - in my head she looks a bit like a floating weeble. Sorry your H is being useless too, sounds like passive aggressive mowing to me! H is being ok today, which is lucky as I am feeling very tetchy about everything.

Being phoned every 5 minutes by friends and family isn't helping my mood