Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VIII - Knicker Checkers and Pad Patrollers welcome

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

Is that ok?

Scotlass, well done, sounds like the perfect second birth!

I just managed to get in to see the midwife - who was a bit aghast that my referral letter appeared to have got lost somewhere between GP and her - and after ten miserably long minutes, she got the foetal heartbeat on the doppler. I'm still cramping nastily and STILL spotting, but apparently at this point in time, I have a live baby and a histrionic cervix (FFS, stupid body, cut it out).

Tamlin that's great news Sending "sort it out" vibes to your cervix!

Wheely hope you get some sleep soon - I'm trying to cram in as much as possible (can you store up sleep? )

lal welcome to the list may you have a smooth and turbulence-free trip

scotlass thanks - I think Friday would be perfect! My preg test was one of the MN trial too - clearly a good batch.

herb 30 weeks! The end is in sight.

Scarlotti hope your scan goes well next week - have completely lost track of when everyone's scans are, my brain has definitely melted.

hopeful it's tough not to focus on every symptom but try not to worry too much. Our bodies send so many mixed messages (mine was telling me last week that it really fancied a cigarrette I don't smoke! So clearly it doesn't have a clue what's going on!)

Sydney hope things are still beaming at your end (is it just me or does that sound a little rude?). Still getting lots of contractions here but no movement. Will return to mother-earthy state any second.

Ladyhelen the race is on

Gorgeous pic scotlass tamlin good news on the heartbeat, clever midwife!

crunch ah, so you're still hanging on then. Fingers crossed it's not too much longer for you!

waves at everyone else..

Thanks Scarlotti, how are you doing at the moment? Did you manage to talk things through with H at all or is he unresponsive?

You don't really want to have a baby today, Crunch, it's Hitler's birthday. (Also my mother's - they share certain unappealing personality traits.)

Hoping you don't go overdue though, not much worse than everyone on the phone saying 'Haven't you HAD it yet?'

Oh Scotlass Congratulations!!!!!

Welcome to the world Nathan James - he's beautiful! Am now blubbing away at work but don't care. The things one can get away with while up the duff....

You were one of the first to reply to me when I joined this thread so seeing you graduate has me all choked up - in a great way of course. And that sounds like a dream delivery - well done x

Tamlin you made me lol with your hysterical cervix. Great news on hearing the hb.

I'm off to Madrid for a few days tomorrow. Really looking forward to a break - and hey, have just realised am going to a country where it is more than ok to behave like a pg woman. I mean, get up, eat, wander about, eat some more, go back to sleep, get up, eat, wander, eat, sleep..... what's not to love?

Tamlin I could certainly do without a Hitlerette. Ooh, just been looking at famous birthdays (way too much time on my hands, ds2 in nursery) and Shakespeare's Birthday is the 23rd - that'll do nicely (no one fun on Friday - Barbra Streisand )

Sydney at holiday, have a great time, you deserve a bit of relaxation.

crunch How about the 22nd? It's my birthday so she'd be in good company
No further forward with H, haven't really managed a proper talk as yet. We're out to dinner on Wednesday so think I'll broach things then. Am going to get some legal advice too so I know where I stand.
Spent ages thinking things through and pretty much decided a split is inevitable. Since then I've felt better so I suspect that means it's the right decision. Trouble is then things don't seem as bad so back to the mental debate - it's a vicous (sp?) circle really.
I'll reassess after the talk I think, although I suspect he'll say he's happy as we are. I can feel the life draining out of me already

sydney you lucky girl! Madrid sounds fab - have a wonderful time.

Ooh scotlass I am so pleased for you!! He is a sweetie and what a great labour - how is dd coping?

herby nice to see you - 30 weeks!!

Crying child next door gotta go

Tamlin A heart beat, yay! You may not have to finished that ode after all...

scotlass What an encouraging and heartwarming piece of news! I am all teary Congratulations, enjoy him, lap him up!

Crunch I know how irritating it is when you are waiting to pop and people keep askign you about it. So, tell me about your favourite choccy bar? I usually opt for a curly wurly and would welcome your thoughts on this proposal.

sydneysuze Have a wonderfully relaxing break. Yes, Spain does seem to have a better attitude to those times in life when you can't be (assumes Apprentice-style suit & haircut) "Giving 110% 24, 7!" I hear they are very child & baby friendly, too - tolerate noise & mess in restaurants well, for example.

Hey, let's ALL go to Spain for a year! (With helicopters on standby to bring us home for reassurance scans, of course!)

Me, well I had a shit day yesterday, very tearful and fed up and "How are we going to cope with another baby, if it comes at all, and I can't find any matching socks either" etc etc. Followed by a really amazing, on-top-of-the-world day today. Life, eh?

Dear everyone. I want to make it clear that when I tell Crunch that people are irritating in asking if the baby is coming, I am IN NO WAY referring to any of the lovelies on this thread! I meant more your real-life nosey person in supermarket kind of character...

'Tis true - this is one the place where I would be offended if not asked. RL on the other hand...

Gentle curlywurlys are good but they don't provide enough entertainment. A lot of what I like about a bar is how inventively you can eat it - so things with layers to them are always welcome, such as Twix or KitKat. Of course DC's Easter Eggs are still plentiful in this house (how restrained are my children!?). Glad you had a better day yesterday, long may the good days last!

Scarlotti the 22nd could be acceptable - you share a birthday with Jack Nicholson and Lenin (an interesting mix). I could have a little revolutionary actress on my hands On a serious note don't let your H fob you off with "we're happy" crap; the fact that he is and you are not is even more of a cause for concern. At least if you were both miserable there would be probably be an external "cause".

Still no baby here (as you may have guessed ) but not too miserable today, the sun is shining already.

Gentle ah, the joys of roller coaster pg hormones eh? Hope today is a bit brighter and you started off well with matching socks!

Curlywurlys I feel are much smaller than they used to be - a common complaint I understand. Very nice though still. I discovered Lion Bars in my works canteen the other day though and have happily munched one every day since - how shocking

crunch Jack Nicholson, not bad and didn't know that. Knew I shared it with George Cole. Lenin?
As for your serious note, you are right re the happiness thing, that's how it is really. If I lower my expectations from life and stifle parts of me, then we get along fine. Not exactly a recipe for success eh? To top it off he's now having troubles at work and is worrying that he might be managed out. Will have to try and stay strong and still instigate the conversation even though I will now feel like I'm kicking him while he's down. I found a site the other day that listed traits of a passive aggressive person and he has most of them. Was surprised but actually it does start to make sense. Exerting control on the quiet so nobody notices. Ludicrous thing is that everyone on the outside thinks I'm the dominant one and he just complies

Looking forward to a relaxing day off tomorrow, have even booked in for a leg wax - the nausea and rubbishness of the first 12 weeks must be easing as I'm starting to care how I look again

Scarlotti my H has a lot of PA tendencies too - again everyone thinks I'm dominant and he's the laid back lovely one who does anything he's asked () Which is a load of rubbish. So I empathise hugely! It's a shame about work, but there'll always be a reason not to broach the subject. Best to get it out in the open as soon as possible.

Lion bars are good and always remind me of the 80s.

crunch more than just the homeland in common then. Sorry to hear your boat is so similar. Am going to speak to him tomorrow regardless, as feel as though I'm going to burst if I don't get it all out soon. Am sure the conversation won't go the way I want but at least it's a start.
Am also going to get some legal advice so i know where I stand.

Maybe I'll just set up a sheep farm and B&B back home in the country and let the kids run amok!

Double deckers always used to be a favourite but not so keen on the nougat now. Mini eggs still rule though and I never know when to stop when eating them!

Girl at my toddler group cheerily announced her pregnancy to everyone today. She said sunnily she was due 14 November and still hasn't had her scan yet, and I had to choke back my automatic 'But it might not even be ALIVE, you're not CLOSE to out of the danger zone, and you're TELLING THE WHOLE VILLAGE!?!?!?' reaction in favour of the normal 'Ooh, congratulations!' one. Apparenly one miscarriage is enough to make me a crazed pessimist...

Crunch, I am also a fan of chocolatey things that you can dismantle slowly. I like TimTams because I can take off the chocolate coating, then eat the middle out, and then finally scoff the biscuit bit...

Tamlin understand exactly how you feel as am in same boat. I've had to tell work this week and don't have my scan until Monday. Am now terrified that I've done the same as last time (i.e. told before scan) and that this will now have the same awful ending as last time
This is after having already had 2 scans this pg, both of which showed a healthy heartbeat and growth that was spot on for dates.
I suspect it will take labour pains before I'm fully convinced this one is on its way!

Morning everyone, oops it's afternoon already

Just popping in to see if crunchie was nicking my delivery date. Girls always make you wait longer I reckon my DD's favourite saying is '2 seconds' and is always the last to leave school/dancing/whatever. Won't be long now, store up that sleep it def helps.

Tamlin it's really hard to choke back the 'are you off your head announcing you're pg till you're nearly due' to other people. My SIL announced on facebook at 5wks and told my DD then too. Luckily things are going ok and she's 20wks but mc definately makes you more wary and when people seem to think a +ve pg test + baby. Thing is we're just the unlucky ones that had to go through heartache to realise that's not always the case. How's the spotting and cramping?

scarlotti happy birthday for tomorrow if i don't make it on here. Leg wax sounds like a lovely treat . I was supposed to get my eyebrows and eyelashes done on Wednesday but fell asleep and missed the appointment - hope the beautician forgives my non attendance but now I fear I look like the honey monster.

gentle hope you're having a better day xx

sydney you made me well up , it's funny how nerve wracking joining a thread can be and people being welcoming stays with you. We go through so much together, I definately felt more understood and supported by my virtual friends on here when I was going through my darkest days. Constantly being told it'll be fine by rl friends and family didn't seem to help. Enjoy the non alcoholic sangrias - if there is such a thing!

dan hope Rose is being an angel. Boys IMO are easier but DD was and still is a complete drama queen so I'm biased. She's being really sweet on the whole, loves her brother to bits but was a bit off with me when I came home and was being a PITA, not wanting to wear this/do that/messing about gettting ready for bed. I think she was worn out from all the excitement and she's got her dancing shows this week so is hyper about that. Nathan on the other hand is a complete chilled out dude who is feeding 3hrly and will go down in between - sure this won't last though . It's so different to the first time but I really think the fact the labour / delivery was so quick and easy, I've no stitches or wound and I have done loads of training about bf through work has made it less traumatic this time. You'll be the same with your next one

Creme eggs - yum yum. Just as well DH is off otherwise I'd be troughing into DDs easter eggs, she's not her mothers daughter - she doesn't even really like chocolate.

Hi to everyone else - hope the weeks aren't dragging too much. It's so worth it in the end.

By the way, my health in pregnancy grant was put in bank today. make sure you get your forms in and get your £190 - gotta go DS is stirring.

Hi everyone - thankyou for the comments on the Conception Indicator thingie. I did another one today and it still said PG 1-2, but saw the GP today, who said what you all said - ignore it !! I seem to be growing killer boobs at the moment (well growing into my C cup anyway ), so am happy that symptoms are developing.

Tamlin - I also can't believe any more that people would announce pregnancies so early ! I've told a total of 3 real life people, including my DP - my mum got so upset last time (she phoned for news of my 12 week scan, only to hear I was in A&E and miscarrying) so I'm not going to tell her until I see a hearbeat on an early scan (note the positive attitude today !) Saw GP today for referral to midwives and she has asked for an early scan but said she can't guarantee they will do it.

Scotlass - beautiful birth story - I hope my first is nice and straightforward

Still trying to get to "know" everybody, but getting there I hope

Scotlass so has mine (the grant that is, not the baby ) Hurray! As has my £30 from the council for buying more cloth nappies! My bank account is looking a little healthier

Tamlin I know what you mean, I also know how before my MC I had had no experience of MC at all (I am joyfully the only one in my and my H's extended family to have ever suffered from MC or fertility problems), and it's true that you do assume a BFP = a baby in this day and age (which for most people is the case). I am still at anyone who sails through pregnancy safe in the assumption that it'll all be alright.

Scarlotti yup that sheep farm is looking real appealing At least my H (when he is behaving normally, so not of late) is/was spontaneous and fun too (he'd come skydiving with us) - which did make up for the PA. Sounds like you need something fundamental from your H that just isn't in him.

Right, I am burning Clary Sage in my oil burner (have decided I'm close enough to due date now ) and am going to find a pineapple to munch! Any other tips? (Baring in mind things between me and H rule out one of the more traditional triggers )

Jools hello (cross posted) glad your GP sounds like a sensible sort. I'll cross my fingers for your early scan - it's such a postcode lottery as this thread proves.

scotlass glad to hear Nathan is being such a good boy, 3 hourly feeds at this early stage is wonderful! have to say I think babies no.2 and beyond are more chilled as they just don't get the obsessive concentrated attention that the first one gets - you know, things like checking they're still breathing as they've been asleep for more than 20 mins etc!

crunch have you got your raspberry tea leaves brewing? Also, a comedian we saw was talking about 'that' way of inducing labour - apparently his wife asked if he could oblige into her tea!! Just a thought, albeit not very appealing at all

Oh, and you're right about needing something fundamental that's not there. Shame for us all really that it took me this long to realise.

Jools am hoping you get your scan. My gp requested an early scan but the hospital said no. I ended up getting one early on the nhs after some light spotting (which was cervical erosion) which had stopped by the time I went for the scan.... not that I'm suggesting you make something like that up obviously We paid for a second, bit of a at £95 though.

Scarlotti I think sometimes it's worth stepping back and being a bit philosophical about it all (oh dear I really am descending into madness with all this zen-ness) sometimes things happen that way because that's the way they're supposed to happen. I don't believe in much but I do know that things have a strange habit of falling into place in ways that, although I would never have planned, end up being right.

Jools, I really hope you get your early scan. I was told no chance, and had to wait until the bleeding kicked in.

Crunch, if DH won't oblige with prostaglandins, you could try buying evening primrose capsules from your pharmacist and erm, inserting them. (You can take them the other way too!) Of course, I did clary sage and raw pineapple and evening primrose and long walks and belly-dancing and God help me, even sex, and still wound up ten days overdue...