Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part VIII - Knicker Checkers and Pad Patrollers welcome

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

Is that ok?

Thanks crunchie, am hoping to sit down with (d)h and chat about things. We've talked things through over the years but nothing ever gets resolved. We've tried counselling before, and then I've been for a lot, but no change. I might suggest we try Relate again as a couple and see what happens. If nothing else, it might let me say my piece in a situation where he has to listen and take it all in.

Nothing is ever simple eh?!

Nope

I think you do need to keep this pregnancy and your relationship psychologically separate. Just because the relationship with H may be coming to a close doesn't mean you won't be a fantastic mother to 2dcs. Your relationship with your baby is between you and him/her IYSWIM

Relate is a good forum to get across how seriously you feel about something if he is being blasee about the whole thing. It somehow makes it all a bit more official saying it in front of a stranger.

And there's always the sky-diving to look forward to

Ladies, sorry been away on a work trip but back now & just as crazy minded as before. I'm still waiting for my 12 week scan (I should be 10 / 11 weeks now) & despite trying o be positive I'm actually very nervous. Yes my boobs are still a little sore (never really ever been mager sore), Yes I still have waves of sickness throughout the day, Yes I am still going to the loo at least 3 times a night BUT I'm still so worried of a missed mc! Had a few headaches lately, although last pg which ended at 10 weeks had headaches nearly everyday.
I bought myself a doppler although I think that all I've managed to pick up so far is my own hb, assuming if you have it to close to where manger veins etc are then it must pick up your own as it was under a 100 (78 / 88 etc) & looking on the internet if it is babies it should be at least 120.
I was so excited at first as I thought it was baby but then realised I may have been wrong.
So scared about the scan showing no hb (

That should have been a sad face - not bloody great big grin...

Hopeful midwives have problems hearing a HB befort about 12/13 weeks so I'm not at all surprised you're not able to find it. I would put the doppler away for now as it's going to cause a lot more heartache than comfort (I couldn't find a HB reliably until I was about 17 weeks, and even then sometimes I couldn't find it at all and had to leave it to try again later). Hope you have your scan soon and it reassures you, it's so hard not to focus on every symptom.

The only time I had all the classic pregnancy symptoms I had had a missed miscarriage. It was when I had no symptoms at all that ds1 was born our bodies tease us all the time. Not long to wait for your scan now, which is good. Will be thinking of you and crossing fingers for good news.

Thank you crunch I hear what your saying. Roll on scan date, hope to hear soon. Keep you posted x

Hopeful, when is your scan?

Crunchie and Scarlotti, good luck with the water birth - I've got to say that getting in that nice warm pool was the only good thing about my whole crummy labour experience. Absolute bliss... (Although dh was morbidly fascinated with the little poo sieve - which, I would like to say, never got used!)

I've had an awful lot of spotting all day, and am trying not to panic again. Had a friend say 'Oh, it was probably just sex!' in reassuring tones, and had to crack up laughing - I'm throwing up several times a day, does she think poor dh is getting anywhere near me?!

Evening ladies. Hope you all had lovely Easters.

Am very frightened tonight as have special cardiac anomaly scan on my baby tomorrow morning at St.Georges in London. I lost my beautiful baby boy at just under 24 weeks last August to a fatal heart condition - so they are checking to see if this baby has the same. I'm 18 weeks at the moment, and we haven't had a take home baby yet (I have also had 2 early mcs, both at about 6 weeks).

There was only a one in a million chance this would ever happen to us once, and although our chances are now higher than most people's (just because it happened before) the stats are still incredibly low that we will be unlucky again.

Buuuuuut I am still so scared. Do not know how we are going to sleep tonight to be honest, thank goodness DH is home at the moment so able to come with me.

Apologies for such a self-focused post. Our scan is at 11.30 in the morning so any positive vibes and thoughts very much appreciated.

sydneysuze sending you positive vibes a plenty. Try and stay calm if poss, or at least occupied if you can. The odds are very strongly in your favour that this baby is fit and healthy, but we all know that it's odds schmods once we've been through something traumatic and the terror of it repeating is only understood by others who've been through something similar.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow morning

hopeful hang in there, you're around the same dates as me. If it's any consolotation my symptoms are up and down like a yo-yo. Even the nausea that was so debilitating has gone (although it does come back after a whole bag of mini eggs!!)
We heard the heartbeat at our private scan just under two weeks ago - it's 170 at this stage so I think you definitely heard your artery! I'd put the doppler away until at least 17 weeks to save your sanity

crunchie you are a ray of light, you really are. Thanks. As you rightly say, nothing needs to be decided quickly.
Oh, and I have my parachute all packed and ready

Tamlin lol at your friend!! My dh hasn't had any since about 6 weeks, the spotting that resulted from that had me in the epu so it will be a few weeks more before there's any of that shenanigans going on! My libido has taken a nose dive anyway

sydneysuze What a night you must be having. I really hope that by 1230 tomorrow you have all the answers you need to put your mind at rest. It's been said before here, but every pregnancy really is different and new, with its own special chances. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

Scarlotti Hope your talks with (D)H (I like the brackets!) go okay for you. Great advice from Crunchie and I'm glad that we all feel safe to talk about anything here. Miscarriage affects so much more than your womb, after all.

Tamlin Hang in there with the spotting. Tell your friend you're keeping your chastity belt on! (not too tight now...)

Thanks everyone for your support when I was having a wobble yesterday. I was talking to a friend with a 3 month old baby recently and she was tearful about a fever after her dd's first round of baby jabs, feeling frightened and worried that something was going to go terribly wrong. Of course her DD is fine now, but it just reminded me that once we get that positive pregnancy test, there is always something to be worried about and that this probably lasts up until they're about 45 - by which point you really should be worrying about yourself! I think pregnancy and early babyhood are particularly worrying, but it was nice to have that reminder that there isn't really an "end point" at which everything has a big bow on it. Strangely reassuring, that.

Very qiuck post to say good luck to Sydney for tomorrow morning, I'll be thinking of you Keeping everything crossed that all is well, hopefully after tomorrow morning you should start to be able to relax and really believe that all this will end in a healthy baby. Am "working from home" tomorrow so I'll be keeping an eye out for your update. Sending lots of love and luck xx

thinking of you and your dh tomorrow sydney

Thanks ladies....you know the wierd thing is I kind of feel like you'll all be in there with us. A nice thought. Will update when I can but we won't necessarily be back until the evening.

Thanks again for all the support.

Tamlin hope you're not worrying too much - you must just ooze sexuality for your friend to think you can still be interested with your head in the loo

scarlotti any time I know how tough it is feeling you need to make life changing decisions at this time! May need to do some white water rafting too.

Gentle it certainly is good to be reminded that worries are normal at all stages.

Sydneysuze you probably won't get this until after it's all over, but I will be thinking of you all day. I have everything crossed for good news for you and your dh. As Scarlotti says the odds can be a million to one, but once it's happen once then all you can do is worry about that one tiny chance of it happening again. I really hope that this is the point where it all gets easier for you x

Just checking in as haven't posted for a while.
sydney hoping your scan goes well this morning. You're probably on your way there now. Fingers crossed for you and lots of good vibes.
cruch anything doing yet for you? You are close to your EDD now. Hope things are improving at home for you.
scarlotti sorry to hear you have troubles too.
Am back at MW this afternoon just for a BP check. It was all ok last week but with my history, they are going to check weekly. 2 weeks and4 weeks till my EDD......

Morning all

sydenysuze am thinking of you, you'll be on your way by now, or even in the waiting room maybe. Keeping everything crossed for you.

crunchie feeling a little less stressed about it today. Think I'm coming to the conclusion that it will happen, but not sure when. Funnily enough, just getting to that point feels like a relief which also tells me a lot I think
Am going to see my GP and see what he suggests, but I do think that it's more the relationship than any depression type thing going on. When I'm at work or away from the situation then I feel much lighter and brighter. Sad really.

White water rafting sounds like a great idea - especially if we end up going overdue

Ladyhelen had loads of contractions last night and began to think that maybe this was the beginning of things, but funnily enough getting up to a huge pile of washing and the house being a tip seems to have knocked all that on the head (so clearly just BH) Although having said that, just got another one so you never know.

Unfortunately I have a history of going into "false labour" where contractions are regular, increase in strength, fit all the definitions of "real labour" but then stop after about 4 hours with no change to the cervix stupid body!

Scarlotti that's great that you're feeling better about it all. I think that your relief does give you your answer (at least at the moment). Worth having a GP keeping an eye out for any AND or PND if you've got any concerns.

Hello all!

Just in case anyone wanted the details, I've just managed to do a birth announcement.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/birth_announcements/738988-Grinningbee-finally-pops?rnd=1239791942072

Hope it works!

I'm crossing my legs now bee

What a happy way to tell a painful tale Thanks for sharing.

grinningbee what a brave mum you are! Thanks for telling - it's certainly made me more appreciative of my previous labours

Hello everyone. Well a huuuuuge from me and an even huger sigh of relief as I can report that my baby's lttle heart looked completely normal on the scan today.

Cannot begin to describe how terrified I was, especially as we had a 3 hour wait before we could be seen which did wonders for my nerves. The fetal heart surgeon was lovely, she held my hand and explained everything all the way through (it's a 45 min scan, close up on the baby's heart) with none of those dreadful terror-inducing silences we all fear. We were going to find out if we are having blue or pink flavour today too but baby was not playing ball so that will stay a secret for a bit longer

Thank you all so much for messages of support - it does make you feel stronger in those situations. And yes, it's very true that the fact that you know what it's like to receive awful knews in a scan room makes me feel less alone.

Off to get some sleep now (did not, of course, get any at all last night) apologies for such 'me me me' posts lately, will read through everyone's news later.

That is fantastic news Sydney and certainly deserving of a me me me post

One more hurdle passed. Hope you sleep well tonigh and you can begin to relax a little.

One more for luck

Sydney, I'm so pleased for you - and glad you had a lovely surgeon too.

Grinningbee, I had the 'orrible posterior labour and ventouse too, so you have my heartfelt sympathies. Am impressed you managed such a long labour - congrats!

SYDNEYSUZE! That's so brilliant! I expect you're in a bit of a daze now though? Have a lovely long night of sleep. I think it's rather charming that your baby has decided to keep one secret. "You can see my heart in full detail for 45 minutes, but I'm going to keep this bit to myself for now!"

So, so pleased for you.

Sydney SO PLEASED!! [grin

Grinningbee [terror emoticon!] You are one brave lady!